This is for you "men" out there

Originally posted by NuroSlam

I would die a million painful deaths for mine as well. Super cute and one of the nicest children you'd come across. Never has a bad day, despite all the negativity forced upon her.

My relationship with her mother was, abusive. SHE was the abuser, not me. Everything from mental abuse to physical abuse. We divorced several years ago and she's started taking her abusiveness out on our daughter. I'm now doing everything I possibly can to save my child from her mother. It's hard, especially when you've been pushed so far down "the hole" emotionally that every day I don't want to wake up.

But I do, for my daughter. Things are progressing slowly, but I'm trying to the best of my abilities. I was 20 when all this started, so you can say I started off my adult life the wrong way.

reply to post by NuroSlam


Happy Father's day brother.

I can only imagine what you have to endure sometimes. I consider myself fortunate to have a four year old boy. I can only hope that I would be as "manly" as you if I started getting the makeup treatment.

Standing OVATION to OP!!

That's what being a dad is all about-the little things in life.

To all the wonderful men out there who have taken care of, loved, helped, been there for and continue to be there for a child...Happy Father's Day...dogs fornicate and reproduce children, but it takes a special man to fill the shoes of someone you can call dad.Whether the child grew from a seed you planted or came into your life another way, Thanks for being there for the kids!

Star and Flag because that is what it is about. I wonder how we get where we are, when it would be so much simpler if we all were farmers/neighbors and really cared about family. Bang up job, I hope she takes your values and makes them her own.

Happy Fathers Day OP!

I myself am not a father, but I have two nieces that I took in and raised as my own. I have had many experiences like what you describe.

My nieces always refer to me as Christopher Robin (of Whinnie the Poo fame), and always get me gifts having to do with Poo Bear. Dishes, clothes, stickers, whatever. I wear/carry these things with pride.

For work I carry a clipboard. It is COVERED with all of the Poo Bear stickers that they have given me. I have received endless flack for it. But my response is always the same..."I look at my girly little clipboard and cant help but smile and think about how much I am loved. If that makes me less 'manly', Ill live with it".

My 10 year old is currently exploring the Goth look around the house. She hasn't got it down to what she wants to look like in public yet, so, my fingernails are 3 different versions of black. Before this it was the purple phase. She's not overboard with it, just a little dark makeup. I figure she'll go on to the next phase soon enough. Let'em be kids, the real world is coming at'em fast.

I change my daughters diapers and dress her.
I've only been a Dad for 8 days

Happy Fathers Day!

reply to post by NuroSlam


You're a real dad.

So many fathers and for that matter men, in general, take the societal branding with the hot iron of instilling values thousands of years in the making, without taking the first thought of how their emotions, actions, and words effect the world around them.

I have a daughter and son. My son is a little melodramatic and my daughter growls and yells a lot. I let them be who they are, and don't try to change this obvious reverse in gender roles.

You get a star, good sir.

Loud cheers for you, Dad. Your munchkin will remember you forever as an involved dad who set aside 'manly' crap to just have FUN with her.

There should be more like you, and one day, I hope there will be.

Not to do so is itself an act of cowardice, at the expense of the child.Perhaps a failing of a narcissistic ego or some other ignorant thought process.
That is the beginning of communication and trust,so unless you want to raise a convict here's 1 way to avoid that.
As to my manhood I don't need that, I'm a big goon with a brain,I'll do as I wish.

That is wonderful. I wish more fathers were as involved with their children. One of my friends has a little girl and her father just sits on his butt all day. Or if he leaves the house, he never takes her with him. She is constantly asking him to play with her and he is constantly turning her down in not-so-nice ways. When she needs help with her homework, he yells at her about how stupid she is because she doesn't understand the subject. Personally, I don't think the fathers role is given enough credit like a mothers role. It is important to have both parents.


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reply to post by GAOTU789


Always start on the bottom and work it all the way to the top(making sure all the hair makes at least some contact with the iron). Hold for AT LEAST 30 seconds, then pull down slowly(be careful not to pull hair).

Thicker curls are easier.

I have nieces...

------------------------------------

On topic:

OP, you're a great father. Don't listen to the malcontents here who'd rather raise unhappy little automatons than a little girl or boy.

Originally posted by Benevolent Heretic
reply to post by NuroSlam

 

Happy Fathers Day! It takes a real man to be confident in different colored nail polish while brandishing a Tinkerbell wallet! It's no wonder you get dates. The clarity of your love for your daughter glows through your post. Any mature and confident woman would be attracted to that.

True, but good luck to him if he gets pulled over, explain that one to the cops!


Deebo

reply to post by NuroSlam



hmmm..me thinks you like the attention you get when you go out, otherwise how would she "know" to ask to go for a walk to the store? Teach your daughter some valuable lessons while you still can...you're raising a spoiled princess.

#1 you don't have to always be focused on what you are wearing to be a real woman

#2 men generally don't wear too much of that sparkly stuff, and toenail polish,so it would be best for her not to expect them to.

#3 getting too much negative attention for what you are wearing at the store is not a healthy way to get "some kind" attention for a male or female.

Originally posted by captaintyinknots
Happy Fathers Day OP!

I myself am not a father, but I have two nieces that I took in and raised as my own. I have had many experiences like what you describe.

My nieces always refer to me as Christopher Robin (of Whinnie the Poo fame), and always get me gifts having to do with Poo Bear. Dishes, clothes, stickers, whatever. I wear/carry these things with pride.

For work I carry a clipboard. It is COVERED with all of the Poo Bear stickers that they have given me. I have received endless flack for it. But my response is always the same..."I look at my girly little clipboard and cant help but smile and think about how much I am loved. If that makes me less 'manly', Ill live with it".

That doesn't make you less manly at all. Yet if you have a secret penchant for going to the store with all kinds of nail polish on,and glitter in your hair,as well as makeup, I'd think you're a weirdo, pretending to be a good father, so he can get off on some weird attention.

Originally posted by Shawny2222
That is wonderful. I wish more fathers were as involved with their children. One of my friends has a little girl and her father just sits on his butt all day. Or if he leaves the house, he never takes her with him. She is constantly asking him to play with her and he is constantly turning her down in not-so-nice ways. When she needs help with her homework, he yells at her about how stupid she is because she doesn't understand the subject. Personally, I don't think the fathers role is given enough credit like a mothers role. It is important to have both parents.

 

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It sure is important to have both , but I don't think a father has to regularly get a pedi and mani,,with sparkles in the hair to be a good father. There are plenty of ways a father can be there for their kids, as well as be a good role model.

Helping kids with homework,encouraging them to study ,and read is important, and talking to them about what they want to talk about, are all important tools of parenting.

Originally posted by gabby2011

Originally posted by Shawny2222
That is wonderful. I wish more fathers were as involved with their children. One of my friends has a little girl and her father just sits on his butt all day. Or if he leaves the house, he never takes her with him. She is constantly asking him to play with her and he is constantly turning her down in not-so-nice ways. When she needs help with her homework, he yells at her about how stupid she is because she doesn't understand the subject. Personally, I don't think the fathers role is given enough credit like a mothers role. It is important to have both parents.

 

Posted Via ATS Mobile: m.abovetopsecret.com

 

It sure is important to have both , but I don't think a father has to regularly get a pedi and mani,,with sparkles in the hair to be a good father. There are plenty of ways a father can be there for their kids, as well as be a good role model.

Helping kids with homework,encouraging them to study ,and read is important, and talking to them about what they want to talk about, are all important tools of parenting.

I absolutely agree with you!

I would not doubt for a second that the OP loves his daughter with all his heart. I also know I would never allow my daughter to do those things to me. It's cool for him because it's part of his personality. I will shower her with love, attention, and respect....but I will do it in a way that is fitting for my personality. The "real me" doesn't wear makeup and painted toenails, etc. I want her to love the "real me", not a cartoon character. OP I'm not calling you a cartoon character. I'm stating that I would be one because dressing like that is not ever a part of my life, nor ever will be.

ETA: I just reread his last sentence in the OP. So we're not real men if we don't let our daughters paint us up like women? Is that what you're trying to imply?

Bless you for being a real father. Your child will be a wonderful adult one day because of your love and caring. I wish I had been fortunate enough to have had a father like you.

Whilst not a dad myself, I fully understand the sentiment here.
I spend a lot of time with my best friend's two kids, a daughter who'll be 6 this year and a son just a month shy of 4. Since they were both born (I got to visit and hold them both the same day they were born), I have spent countless hours babysitting, playing, teaching and acting "silly" and have enjoyed every single wonderful second of it. I'm honourary uncle to both and godfather to the little fella and love the two of them like they were my own.
They put life in perspective and underscore what is really important in this world.

reply to post by 0288796

ETA: I just reread his last sentence in the OP. So we're not real men if we don't let our daughters paint us up like women? Is that what you're trying to imply?

I sort of got the jest of it in that way. I hope not.

Having fun occasionally with your kids,and being a kid yourself is healthy, but to let the child feel they have control over everything during play time, and then to march the father off to the store at will seems to be letting a 6 year old have way too much power. That's why I'm thinking the dad secretly enjoys the attention ,and the weird stares ,or he wouldn't so willingly go along with it..especially in pretense of being some kind of great father for doing it. That is not great parenting to me , and adults who "let "children call all the shots are actually doing them a grave error.