posted on Jan, 20 2011 @ 02:23 PM
Welcome to you guys! All the staff here do a fantastic job!
So, let's begin your orientation.
Please step through the double doors to your left, be sure to grab a complimentary bag of delicious popcorn from the table just inside the doors. Nuts
are to the right. And watch your step, someone seems to have left piles of bull dung randomly scattered throughout the room.
On the table to your right are the ever important patented "Cushioned Gloves of Clicking™" which each of you will need to equip yourselves with
before you begin, go ahead there's enough for everyone. They are for your safety, to prevent blisters and are ergonomically designed to combat carpal
Now, in each of the seats there's a console which contains one built-in keyboard, one large ultra-definition holo screen, and one pair of "Joo Janta
200 Super-Chromatic Peril Sensitive Sunglasses™" specially designed to help people develop a relaxed attitude to danger. At the first hint of
trouble, they turn totally black and thus prevent you from seeing anything that might alarm you. Put these on, you'll need them.
At the center of the room stands the "Ultimate Banhammer of Doom™", this is a last resort tool to only be used in cases of extreme emergencies, or
when someone accidentally posts Vogon poetry. The UBD is not a toy.
Good luck to you, and may the luck of the Seven Pillars of Booloo be with you at all times!.