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The Legend Of Eeldysseus

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posted on Jan, 3 2011 @ 06:40 PM
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Eeldysseus found his origins in Kazakh Khanate but almost all traces of this legendary hero was lost.


The Kazakh Khanate was founded in 1456-1465 by Janybek Khan and Kerey Khan, on the banks of Jetysu ("seven rivers") in the southeastern part of the present-day Republic of Kazakhstan. The founding of the Kazakh Khanate is concidered the ethnogenesis of the Kazakh nation. The formation of the independent Kazakh Khanate began when several tribes under the rule of sultans Janybek and Kerey departed from the Khanate of Abul Khair Khan. The sultans led their people toward Mogolistan, eventually settleing and founding an independenent state. The new Khanate soon became a buffer state between the Mongolians and the Khanate of Abdul Khair.


But I will reveal to you now who Eeldysseus(also known as the Epic One) was....

Birth of Eeldysseus

Natalya Sagdiyev,a virgin, was sitting on the banks of a river when she was visited by an Eel.

Looked Almost like this->


< br />
The Eel came to Natalya and said:

You are highly favored, the Lord is with you.

But Natalya was greatly troubled by this greeting, and wondered what it meant.The Eel told her not to fear and repeated that she had found favor with God.

The Eel told Natalya that she would conceive a son and that she was to call his name Eeldysseus.

The Eel continued:

He shall be great, and shall be called the son of the most high

And the Lord God shall give unto him throne of his father Boltok the Rapist.
And he shall reign over the house of Oksana and of his kingdom there shall be no end.

Natalya asked the Eel:

How shall this be, seeing I have never had a physical relationship
with a man?(which was a lie seeing as she was considered number 4 prostitute in Kazakhstan as can be seen on the movie Borat whom she is also related too)

The Eel answered and said to her:

The Holy Eel will come upon you, and power of the most high will overshadow you,
and the holy thing which is begotten shall be called the the son of Eel.

and take notice: Nursultan Tuyakbay your cousin, has also conceived a son in her old age and is now six months pregnant.

No word from Eel shall be proclaimed without power.

Then Natalya said:

Behold, the handmaid of the Eel, let it happen to me according to your word.

The Eel left...Whooosh

The Birth Of Eeldysseus

It was during this time that a decree was sent out from the Russian Tsar that there should be census for the entire Easter Europe.People were told to return to their cities.

Natalya and Bilo went up from Hazrat-e Turkestan out of Kuzeck, the city of Boltok the Rapist's family.

Natalya was ready to give birth,which she did in Zhezkazgan.Natalya delivered her firstborn son and wrapped the baby Eelbdysseus up in swadding clothes and laid him in manger because there was no room for then in the inn.

Nearby there were souteneur in the streets who were working the night shift over their 'flocks'.

And Eel of the Lord stood by them, and the Glory of the lord shone all around them.

But the souteneurs were very afraid, as the Eel said to them:

Dont be afraid for behold I bring good tidings of great joy
which will be to all people.

And this will be the sign: you will find the babe wrapped in swadding clothes and lying in a manger.

Suddenly, there appeared a host of eels, all praising Eel and the saying,Glory to Eel in the highest.and on earth peace among men whom he is well pleased.

After the eels had left them and returned to the water,the souteneurs said to each other:

Let's go to Zhezkazgan right now and see this that has happened,which the Eel has made known to us.

They immediately went and found Natalya,Bilo and the baby lying in the manger.

When they saw the baby Eeldysseus, the made known what had been told about the child.

Everyone who heard it wondered about the things the souteneurs reported.

But Natalya kept all these sayings to herself, pondering them in her heart.

Then the souteneur returned to their prostitutes,glorifying and praising the Eel for the things that they had heard and seen.


Maybe someone else could add some chapters to the story of Eeldysseus....




posted on Jan, 3 2011 @ 06:41 PM
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FAIL



posted on Jan, 3 2011 @ 06:42 PM
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TEASPOONS!



posted on Jan, 3 2011 @ 06:42 PM
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reply to post by SlovenlyGhost
 


OMG Nosred got to you!!!

There is no cure for this condition, but we can try electroshock... Hang in there Slov... Hang in there... Help is on the way.

~Heff



posted on Jan, 3 2011 @ 06:43 PM
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Thank you for writing this biography of me. Words can not describe how I am feeling.



posted on Jan, 3 2011 @ 06:44 PM
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Originally posted by IntastellaBurst


FAIL


Can you please expound upon your fail oh mighty burst ?
Was there a sign,a cup and an out stretched hand per chance ?



posted on Jan, 3 2011 @ 06:56 PM
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reply to post by The Utopian Penguin
 



I don't think it was a comment on this particular thread...... persay,


but more of an observation on Slov as a person and friend.



posted on Jan, 3 2011 @ 07:17 PM
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reply to post by IntastellaBurst
 


Eat it Stella!!U'll never be a part of Nosland...Not aslong as I'm governor



posted on Jan, 3 2011 @ 08:44 PM
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Whoa, brillian analysis.

Don't join nos's government by the way. I can't even say its name.



posted on Jan, 3 2011 @ 10:10 PM
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NOS has gone power mad

NOStopia yeah right

He recruits just so he can to build up a tax base and live off the World Bank funding.

Nary a cookie in sight ! He hordes them you know !.

NPO YAY



posted on Jan, 3 2011 @ 10:10 PM
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NOS has gone power mad

NOStopia yeah right

He recruits just so he can to build up a tax base and live off the World Bank funding.

Nary a cookie in sight ! He hordes them you know !.

he just want to get rEELelected

NPO YAY there I said it

edit on 3-1-2011 by The Utopian Penguin because: (no reason given)



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