Is it too late for me?

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posted on Dec, 22 2010 @ 07:36 PM
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I have been becoming more and more interested in what I have been putting into my body, which lead to me researching a few things. I would like the ones reading this to know that this topic is depressing to me because I fear that the answer to the question in the title is ardently yes. Now to begin with a little background story:

It is very difficult to know where it all began for me, but it makes sense to start out with my parents. My mom loved to party. She loved to drink and have fun with friends. My dad, my biological dad, I know absolutely nothing about. Scary, huh? When my mom was pregnant with me, she told me, she had stopped her drinking and partying. She told me she only smoked once. Even though she was responsible, according to her, and did what the doctors advised, I was dying in the womb. I was suffocating. The doctors had to hurry to save me, thus I was born two months premature and sent to ICU for 17 days straight. To this day I have no idea what they put in me.

Growing up, I was described as an energetic and curious child, yet very socially challenged. I didn't start speaking until I was forced to go to a specialized school for children a little slow to start speaking or walking. I still have some memories of that school more than 17 years later, some not so friendly. Yet, I do not remember if they drugged me or not. I do remember having to get vaccines for public school against my will. My parents were not educated enough to know that vaccines were a bad idea, they trusted the doctors. They were the professionals, so they had to know what they were doing.

Well, as the years passed, I got more and more vaccines. As I got more and more vaccines, things started to change. I also started drinking more water instead of soft drinks, tap water since distilled water is yet to be available to me. I stopped taking ALL kinds of medications, prescription and over-the-counter because I didn't want to be addicted. I knew they would mess my head up and I would be a drone, and this was before I realized what I know now. Still, my focus was deteriorating and my motor skills were suffering as well as time passed. It got to a point where I couldn't read anything that didn't have headers and I stammered more than ever. Why is this happening, I wondered. I wasn't taking medication. I refuse to get anymore vaccines. Why? Then I realized it was the tap water.

I have been drinking tap water for years and years and years, and the effects are noticeable. I am losing focus, I am unable to sit still, and I cannot type as well as I used to be able to. My writing has suffered and I am apathetic to a certain degree. I am starting to become more politically active, though I lack the motivation to speak my own voice. I have so many ideas, but I lack the ability to let them be heard in the manner in which they need be heard. I used to be the top of my class, but when I graduated High School... I was closer to the end. I would like to think I am somewhat of an intellectual, but my focus has killed my ability to express my intellectual ideas. I wanted to know why this was happening, thus water came into the picture. It was the only thing I consumed on a daily basis and I heard it was bad, so I did a little research. What I came across stunned me. I have been poisoning myself... but I cannot do anything about it because I am having a hard time finding a job to pay for things that would help me reverse this poisoning. My body is getting weaker and my mind is going off on tangents more and more, but I cannot stop drinking the water.

Pray tell, fellow ATSers, is it too late for me? Watch this video. It was what made me write all of this today. It was the final straw, what made me question if it was too late for me. I am concerned that I am going to be sterile and mentally unable to defend my beliefs when TSHTF. I fear that if I do have children some day, I cannot provide for them the way I really would love to. These thoughts bring tears to my eyes. The thought of it being too late is almost too much for me to bear... and yet my mind is running off on tangents as I type.

After watching that video, I now have even more reasoning to move out of this country. I now have more reason to raise my children far away from the West, as far aways as I possibly can be. I will raise my children the way they are meant to be raised, and they will be given the facts on these situations. They will have a chance to decide what is best for them, a chance that may have come to late for me.

If it does turn out to be too late, I may do something drastic. I don't know if this is me talking or the fluoridated water I am currently drinking. I have noticed I get more and more thirsty the more and more I drink. Hmmm, God, how I just want to get away from all of this and live in solitude.

EDIT TO ADD: I am trying my hardest to find ways to reverse this. I am going to start sitting down and reading novels like Nineteen Eighty Four and watching less and less TV everyday. I will also steer clear of videogames as much as possible and maybe go outside more often. In no way am I fat, but I still would like to exercise to get my mind off things.
edit on 22-12-2010 by Modern Americana because: (no reason given)




posted on Dec, 22 2010 @ 07:41 PM
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Here is the video for the people that didn't catch the link or don't want to be redirected to YouTube:



Also, one other symptom that has me concerned. Sometimes I will think of something I need to do or would like to have that is in the other room, and I get up a few moments later and my mind jumps to a different thought, but I am still walking to the room that I need to be in. When I get to the room and finish the tangent thought, I forget why I went to the room to begin with... but I know I went there for a reason. I finally realize why I went there by the time I sit back down. This has been happening a lot lately, but I have been working on my focus so it doesn't happen when I sit down. It happens when I am halfway from the room on my way to sit back down.
edit on 22-12-2010 by Modern Americana because: (no reason given)



posted on Dec, 22 2010 @ 07:48 PM
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I believe you could benefit from some positive energy in your life.
Nothing is ever hopeless, unless YOU INSIST it is. You should spend some time with people that are working to make a difference in the world, and learn from them. Life is not about what has been taken from you, it is about what YOU have given of yourself.
That is how you ultimately will be judged, by YOU yourself. Start now. Brighten the lives of others and the light will reflect back on you. Just accept that all you say is true, and then move forward.



posted on Dec, 22 2010 @ 07:51 PM
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reply to post by Stewie
 


I DO need positive energy in my life. All of this negative thinking has been a result of perpetual negativity brought on by a loss of a loved one and the events that followed. I haven't had much to be positive about since. I even got to a point where I considered being medicated despite my strong belief that medication is evil.



posted on Dec, 22 2010 @ 07:53 PM
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Out of curiosity, are you left or right handed?

The best I can answer your question is to say it's too late for practically every one of us. We're all pretty well mucked up from all that's in the environment these days. It affects people in a variety of ways based on genetic susceptibilities. I think the best you can do is remain aware of just how screwed up the air/water/food is, and keep the obsessive desire to turn the tide and get well. Will you succeed? Wellness is essentially a state of mind, but does require a degree of physical health to get there... so basically I couldn't tell you. I can tell you that I was horribly unwell several years ago, and slowly repaired quite a bit of the damage overall. I feel that I will never be entirely as I once was, but now accept this and realize it's to be expected. We're all mutating at insane rates these days. Evolve or decay, my friend.



posted on Dec, 22 2010 @ 07:54 PM
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reply to post by Modern Americana
 

Grief is something that you have to work your way through as you probably know. It is not easy, and there are no shortcuts, I know.
There is an upside. Look for it, and you will find it.




posted on Dec, 22 2010 @ 07:58 PM
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reply to post by unityemissions
 

Since I am left-handed, you HAVE to tell me what that is all about.
For the record, I fell out of a moving vehicle when I was 2 years old, and suffered a head injury. The scar went completely across my forehead, and may have "colored" my perceptions of the world.
So, elaborate on that statement if you don't mind.



posted on Dec, 22 2010 @ 07:59 PM
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reply to post by unityemissions
 


I am right-handed for most things. Does that have any significance?



posted on Dec, 22 2010 @ 08:01 PM
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I can relate to a lot of what you've said, especially in the latter stages. I too am heading down the same route. As with you, I was top of my class, pretty much until age 16. However, after that, I just seemed to lose my concentration so much. I couldn't revise for exams for more than about 10 minutes, because my focus was so poor. Teachers kept going on about how significant these exams were, as they determined which university you went to, but, as you say, I was apathetic to it all- their words meant nothing.

I'm 22 now, and things have gotten gradually worse. I used to have a very good memory, now I often have to think for a minute or two to remember what I've done during that day. Sometimes I forget how to spell the easiest words and I lose my train of thought all the time- so I can relate with regards the reading also, I find that to be a real chore. I used to love reading as well, I read everyday up until I was about 14, maybe.

As you say, I drink a ton of water- too much- but I'm thirsty all the time, and when I don't drink I get pretty bad headaches. I pass out once in a while, I went to the doctor about it, suspecting I may be diabetic, as I display quite a few of those symptons. He said I probably have water intoxication, which wiki told me is something to do with flooding your body and ruining the balance of electrolytes. After reading about all the chemicals in water, I believe this could be the cause. What can you do, though? Not like you can go and fetch fresh water from the spring everyday.

Anyway, I'm really trying to improve as well. I haven't drank alcohol in over 6 months, that hasn't made any difference. Cutting down on video games didn't really make a difference. I think exercising everyday, which I struggle sticking too, is pretty much the only thing that has helped me. I'm trying starting yoga- not very manly, but worth a pop. I read in another post here, that cutting GMOs/gluten and wheat based products out of your diet does wonders. Unfortunatly I can't afford that at the minute, but it might be worth a try if you can.

You're not alone in feeling like this. I used to get really down about it, as I deteriorated. No point getting upset, though. That will only make things worse. Stay positive.



posted on Dec, 22 2010 @ 08:02 PM
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You should read the Ringing Ceders series by Vladimir Megre, especially the first book Anastasia. A lot may call it anti-Western propaganda, and the publishers or pushers of the books do try to make $$$ by selling fake products described in the book, but regardless it is VERY enlightening.

If I could give you some advice though, don't worry yourself and stay positive. Your mind is more powerful than anything they put in the water, so if you believe you can overcome your situation then the only thing holding you back is what you falsely believe is holding you back, but if you truly believe it's too late for you then I'm sorry to say it is.

I'm going to steal a quote from Gary Busey. The word FEAR stands for False Evidence Appearing Real. The only one who is afraid is the one who THINKS they're afraid. The word DOUBT stands for Debating On Understanding Bewildering Thoughts. He who is in doubt created it themselves. The underlying message is Mind Over Matter, so don't give up, stand strong and stay positive.

Peace.



posted on Dec, 22 2010 @ 08:02 PM
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reply to post by Modern Americana
 


Not really I'm just interested in the theory that some left handers may be more the result of complications during gestation or birth rather than genetics. Many are starting to say this is bull and a single gene can statistically count for all the lefties in the world. Not that your handedness would have any real weight on my understanding of this, but it may have been something I'd have taken into consideration.



posted on Dec, 22 2010 @ 08:07 PM
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reply to post by ScepticalBeliever
 


Thanks, friend, it is comforting knowing that I am not the only on the road to recovery. I knew I wasn't alone, but hearing it from someone makes it more personal, you know? The food I eat is garbage. The water I drink is full of poison. I have been in a hole for months and it doesn't look like things are working fast enough for my liking. I get worked up about nothing progressing in my life, but when it gets to crunch time, I don't have the motivation and focus to get it done.

Terrible condition that I hope to get over through dedication.



posted on Dec, 22 2010 @ 08:08 PM
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reply to post by Modern Americana
 

Man oh man, there goes some of my last reserve of enchantment for the land o the free. I share in your misery MA, and have felt similar in that if I had a family, I don't know that I would want to raise them in today's empty, poisoned, enslaved and distracted society. I always used to be optimistic about the future and thought tech and med advances would enrich our lives and our planet, but that vision has pretty much died and I am left holding many of my aspirations in my hand, unable to release them in the cosmos with any hope and inspiration.

The pharma angle in the vid surely is a big part of the problem, as are the education changes and lack of. I took a psychophysiology course and was surprised to learn that in the 50's the average attention span was 50-54 minutes, today the average is 9-12. Now there are many reasons as to why our attention spans have changed but one factor regarding education is that the system has not changed much from the 50's even though people have changed somewhat dramatically, it is almost like trying to fit a square peg into a round hole, hence all these ailments such as ADD and HDD began sprouting up.

How can a system designed to accommodate healthy attention spans remain so antiquated against the current backdrop of ever shortening attention spans? Makes no sense to me and I don't know if it's politics, money or intentional dumbing down, but it is just sad. I don't think can change the progression of changes in our attention span, but surely we should change the methods of teaching.

I watched a relative doc called generation RX that blew me away. It highlighted the process of Psychiatric leaders(picked by pharma co's) creating these ailments and directing the community of psychiatrists to start diagnosing and prescribing the new meds, Truly heartbreaking..
Generation RX

As some others have mentioned, we have to actively seek out positive energy in this world. Being neutral or passive only allows the dominant negativity to take up residence within and slowly poison any hope or joy.
One thing I did that seemed to help things was doing some volunteer work. I have been working with Habitat For Humanity and the experience has been great for myself, my co-volunteers and mostly the people we helped with homes.
I hope things get better for you MA....sending positive vibes your way.

Peace,
spec


edit on 22-12-2010 by speculativeoptimist because: spelling



posted on Dec, 22 2010 @ 08:11 PM
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reply to post by havenvideo
 


That is a very nice quote. I have to be honest, though, when I read who you quoted I rolled my eyes. It is a very deep thought, though, something I already understand to be true, but it doesn't hurt to be reminded from time to time. I am very heavy on philosophy and psychology. They are great interests of mine, so I understand that the mind is very powerful. It just is hard to get over a negative state-of-mind when that is all that is in your life, little do you know that all the negativity is spawned through your negative thoughts. It's a vicious cycle.



posted on Dec, 22 2010 @ 08:13 PM
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Originally posted by Modern Americana
reply to post by havenvideo
 


That is a very nice quote. I have to be honest, though, when I read who you quoted I rolled my eyes. It is a very deep thought, though, something I already understand to be true, but it doesn't hurt to be reminded from time to time. I am very heavy on philosophy and psychology. They are great interests of mine, so I understand that the mind is very powerful. It just is hard to get over a negative state-of-mind when that is all that is in your life, little do you know that all the negativity is spawned through your negative thoughts. It's a vicious cycle.

Indeed it is a vicious cycle but definitely not impossible to overcome



posted on Dec, 22 2010 @ 08:14 PM
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I have had serious health issues in the recent past which led to a series of significant losses and subsequent problems with depression. I learned to focus on things that you can change and let go of the things you can't change. It sounds like you too may have some of the thoughts that can lead to depression.

Learn from your past, plan for the future but live in the present.



posted on Dec, 22 2010 @ 08:16 PM
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I too am concerned with fluoride. It would seem as though we have been hardened against the third eye. Never have I felt myself to be as though a plant. Plants have delicate roots and the body/mind/soul interface is no different. Thinking in terms of an analogy: thoughts are like roots. With a little focus one can get that gland humming, but it seems not to remain continuously able to perform. It's like forgetting that you just forgot something, while trying to recall what you were focusing on.

Be glad you aren't from chicago. They erin brockaviched us with hexavalent chromium, the whole area. I think I will select a place to live based on water quality, since I enjoy water, and I may not be able to afford even drinking quantities. I don't want to relax in a tub full of poison. In time, the government which cannot remember it's mission will make it more difficult to stay clean, but we only live so long, and at least I am not damned, as are they.

There are probably some solvents that could free up oxides of flouride, I know of at least one, but I am hesitant to recommend it. I suggest you stay away from any medical facilities: they are naught but rifle ranges for new ailment target practice, on your precious butt. Better you should stand up during machine gun fire. They are proud of their new diseases and what they can make by draining you.



posted on Dec, 22 2010 @ 10:39 PM
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reply to post by Modern Americana
 


It's not too late. An important thing to remember is that not everyone is the same. The term "normal" in the health and psychological fields is a term made up and defined by the medical industrial complex to push an agenda of profiting off the medicating of people. There are very few who fall into their vague and minimal criteria for what is "normal". In reality, there is no "normal". Again, not everyone is the same. This is true in every animal species.

There are things you should be worried about. Fluoridated water is one of many. But you can't allow yourself to convince yourself that any "abnormalities" you experience are a result of your premature birth, the medications and vaccinations they likely used, or even the fluoridated water you drink. Yes, it is possible those are causing a lack of focus or poor short term memory, but it is also possible to just have a wandering mind. It is important that you keep this in mind, otherwise you will drive yourself insane (figuratively) worrying about it.

I don't recommend returning to a slumber state where you ignore all the dangers around you like the typical American, but I do recommend you try to rationalize with yourself a little more. You are now aware of what is going on (even though I've been telling you for YEARS!), and that is a good thing, but it is important to still keep a balanced perspective. Not everyone is the same. Few fall into the medical industrial complex's definition of "normal" - and that is intentional on their part. Every day of your life is not going to be happy. Every thought you have is not going to be pretty. Every attempt to focus or remember is not going to be successful. But sometimes that is just how it is. Despite what we as a species thinks, our brains are not perfect, nor invincible. They fail us from time to time. That's unfortunate, but that is just how life is.



posted on Jan, 1 2011 @ 07:12 PM
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If you cleanse your body and only add good things to it, your body will completely remake itself. Every cell in you skin will die and be replaced by the end of January. Other cells replace themselves at varying rates. I think the most importand thing is to re-gene your soul. This can be done quickly and easily by following the link under my signature. -Then you need to begin renewing your mind. The body is the last thing and ultimately can't be remade, it just needs to be replaced, which is done through the re-genises of the soul.





 
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