Is Love Conditional or Unconditional?

First we need to define Love.

Here is the Wiki definition.

Love Wiki

Does love become conditional or unconditional, when someone close to you is about to die and you can actually choose by giving your life for theirs?

Probably the ultimate gift or sacrifice someone can give is their life, since the holidays have become mostly about giving and receiving gifts, why not look at the ultimate gift. Or maybe it is not even dying, but just sharing your life to another.

Example: Your child has a bad heart, he or she has only weeks to live and the only way possible they can survive is because your heart is a match.

Someone that has almost nothing shares whatever they have.

A mother refuses cancer treatment so her premature baby would live.

www.dailymail.co.uk...

The men in Chernobyl that flew the helicopters in to seal the meltdown knew they may eventually die.

www.amazon.com...

reply to post by Realtruth


it's not really a selfless action as i see it, you are interfering on that person's lifepath, to wich death is always the outcome.
you are making it sound like death is something one needs to be saved from. Acceptance to it is the true unselfish/unconditional way.
the same way one wrong action cant correct another, one death doesn't either.

we should have learned by now we are not to decide who/what lives or dies, at all.

Do you fear death?

Originally posted by AnotherYOU
reply to post by Realtruth

 

it's not really a selfless action as i see it, you are interfering on that person's lifepath, to wich death is always the outcome.

True, but if we are going this route - How do we know that his intervening and giving of his life isn't supposed to happen? I know one thing for sure, RealTruth is not afraid of death, nor am I. Just the method lol.

But if it came down to it, I bet you'd find a lot of people that would give their lives for the one they love. I think I would.

reply to post by hhcore



lol thanks hh

I actually forgot to post my examples in OP.

I embrace death. Death is easy, living is what takes work.

True too.

but aren't we suposed to love ALL, with no exceptions?
suddently what looks like an act of love might seem like the ultimate nihilism.

but i get where the OP was trying to aim at, i understood the spirit.
i just rather love people while they are here, without needing a reason or any special season
too often we only aknowledge another One after the D word came knocking.

Death is nothing to us, since when we are, death has not come, and when death has come, we are not. Epicurus

Originally posted by AnotherYOU
True too.

but aren't we suposed to love ALL, with no exceptions?
suddently what looks like an act of love might seem like the ultimate nihilism.

but i get where the OP was trying to aim at, i understood the spirit.

First off, Welcome to ATS

Yes, but that love you speak of is conditional, and subjective to each person unconditional love is rare.

Love in this reality is conditional, but it does have glimpses of being unconditional.

Some people are very loving and will put others before themselves, but some people in the world think only of themselves.

reply to post by Realtruth


Thank You for the welcome.

i know wich love i spoke of, theres only one.
if it has any conditionality associated with it it's not love.
im not falling for the multiple concepts attached to the modern idea of love
im talking about that love we cannot trully experience here as you said,
the one we choke on when we try to grasp at an accurate description.

yet, it's still within one's means to at least FEEL it

that's what i usually think, no need to speak on it or think about it
as long one feels it.

"whatever's right"

Edit: now i see the way u edited and completed the first post, it makes me sort of look like an offtopic a-hole thru my first interventions.

speaking of heroes, all my heroes died...

Originally posted by AnotherYOU
reply to post by Realtruth

 

Thank You for the welcome.

i know wich love i spoke of, theres only one.
if it has any conditionality associated with it it's not love.

"whatever's right"

Well put.

I think that is the problem these day with the term "Love" it has become subjective instead of unconditional.

We are in 100% agreement "Love" should be unconditional.

And with this thought in mind, I think I shall amend the title.

reply to post by Realtruth


oh and don't mind me, but one good way to flip yet verify the core meaning of the thread.
is seeing it and asking it from the other side of the spectrum,

would you want anyone givin his life for yours?

It’s all up to”how to view” the love...



An Iranian poetry…


The purest form of love
Is the love of a blind man
Who knows not the beauty of one
Nor the ugliness of another
Only the scent of compassion
Engraved in our souls

The purest form of love
Is the love of a blind man
Who knows not the race of one
Nor the colour of another
Only the essence of generosity
Embracing our hearts

The purest form of love
Is the love of a blind man
Who sees not the scars of one
Nor the wrinkles of another
Only the value of affection
Enclosing our spirits as one

The purest form of love
Is the love of a blind man
Who sees not the materials of one
Nor the neediness of another
Only the offerings of support
Emerging only from other blind men


And most Iranians really follow this kind of recipe in their heart.

reply to post by amkia


Wow! that was really beautiful.

Thanks for sharing that, I just added it to my collection.

This question depends on three things:

1. How mature and wise you are as a person.
2. What your relationship is the the other individual/ creature.
3. How awful or nice they treat you in return (Friends/ family/ pets)

I have family I love, but I really don't enjoy spending my time or money on some of them.
Because they can be very immature, irresponsible, unloyal, mean, spiteful, hateful,
cruel, insensitive, jealous, tedious, etc... and so on. Who needs that drama and misery in their life?
Yet I still love them, and I still care about them. At arms length, or 500+ miles in my case.
You know I think it is their repeated bad choices in life, and thier irresponsibility that annoys
me the most. Also the fact that they want my husband and I to bail them out, while not listening to any advice.
Folks, following a little advice goes a long way to staying out of trouble. Love is a skill, Forgiveness takes
patience and work. To be good and responsible takes effort. It's easy to love someone who is wounderful,
it is work to love some one who is bad and bad for you. In this case love is devine. When you really love some one fully and they die it is agony forever. So I guess love has conditions, unless you are a Saint or you work at being a Saint.

Originally posted by frugal
When you really love some one fully and they die it is agony forever.

nope

unless you live forever, now do you?

reply to post by Realtruth


The problem I see with what you present for us is less complex than what you attempt to say in your explanation. You are actually asking if we would be willing to die for someone else, nothing more, nothing less. (That need not be love.)

To answer your title, however, begs for a different explanation that doesn't involve "love" either, and I'll supply the below statement, and I know not from where it came.

"We each operate according to what we preceive to be in our best, self interest."

By examining that statement in your own mind, it always comes down to what you think you want, again, nothing more, nothing less.

Originally posted by Aliensun

"We each operate according to what we preceive to be in our best, self interest."

By examining that statement in your own mind, it always comes down to what you think you want, again, nothing more, nothing less.

This is an interesting statement, since I do believe most people operate in their own self interest, but what interest does someone have by giving up their life for another to live.

Where is the self interest in this act? Love perhaps.

I made a girl cry with this. I felt bad but it's true...

Love is just a mixture of chemicals (dopamine and oxytocin) that are segregated by the brain. That is what makes you feel love and think you're in love.

I think the human has complicated this produced feeling quite a bit much. It's a powerful one I say... But, looking at it in another point of view love is just something you can't define...

reply to post by jamiros


No offense, but I think you are confusing "romantic' love and "agape" love...the latter of which I think the threadperson is talking about.

Or...I would say "romantic' love is *usually* conditional, while "agape" is unconditional.

The mother/child example listed in the OP is a no-brainer to me. What mother would not give their life for their child?

Originally posted by sonjah1
reply to post by jamiros

 

No offense, but I think you are confusing "romantic' love and "agape" love...the latter of which I think the threadperson is talking about.

Or...I would say "romantic' love is *usually* conditional, while "agape" is unconditional.

The mother/child example listed in the OP is a no-brainer to me. What mother would not give their life for their child?

None taken friend. Yes I'm talking about romatic love. The agape love that the OP is talking about is least complicated. But... I could give you a few examples of mother/child that will not give their life for them.

True love has no conditions.. Nor judgements either.. It accepts and gives equally without questioning..

my wife and i love each other very much. over the years a number of individuals tried to come between us (before marriage) and spoil things. this happened from both sides and it caused us to part for a number of years. when we got back together, we agreed nobody and i mean nobody would try it on again. the slightest sniff of attempted intrusion into our lives has resulted in a stern warning and complete rejection of said individuals. hangers on,relatives hell anyone who tries gets the same treatment. they are simply not allowed any quarter and never will they cross our threshold again.
life is short and it is sweet with bitter bits!
the unconditional side between us is manifested in always compromising. we share the burdens and chores.
without the unconditional aspect i feel it is a tragic waste but as i always answer to friends and family who enquire as to how we both are getting on ' AN ONGOING WORK IN PROGRESS!' much to their amusement.
as to the conditional side i guess it is always present with the unconditional side. for example if my wife needs my assistance (she is disabled btw) i drop what i am doing to help out. i leave work if i have to. stuff the consequences. this is one aspect of conditional love. it is self imposed and there is no expectations.
regards f