the *girl=slut man=stud" question.

Originally posted by rusethorcain
Strategy is another reason women don't like sluts.
Libido aside...If you ever read a book called The Rules... it informs girls how to use their sexuality as a bargaining tool to ensnare a man into a legal marriage contract.
It is designed to engage a woman in matrimony and form couples.
This is part and parcel of old Christian values and I am not knocking it.
Women who put out for free...lessen these girls ability to bargain.

This is another reason that promiscuity is not in a woman's best interest.

The only power that a woman can have over a man, is sexual.
Giving him exactly what he wants, without using her sexuality to her advantage, is not very sensible.


There's also the fact that no man ( unless he's desperate ) wants to settle down with some washed-up 30-something who has been around the track more times than a champion greyhound.

Women like this always have to learn the hard-way; that their care-free actions do have negative consequences later in life !

reply to post by maybereal11

Exactly. You said it straight out of the Evolutionary Psychology class.
Now cut it out. This is getting out of hand. We have to stop agreeing. It's no fun.

To which might be added hatred of everything women represent for men: desire, pleasure, life. Curiosity as well-many dictionaries confirm that inquisitive women are "...widely dismissed as daughters of Eve. They generate desire, they also generate life."reply to post by ZeroReady

Thank you for adding this theory.
I am so happy to find this discussion after so many years of carrying these questions in my soul. When I was a college gal, I thought I could do whatever the guys were doing. Bedding down with anyone I chose to. The hunt was fun. The reward was a fun wrestling match; but without any orgasms for me (it was a onesided endeavor i realized ). Took me a long time to finally find a man who would take the time to share the pleasure with me/help give me pleasure.
..anyway, back to college days; I ended up getting raped by an aquaintance of one of my lovers (I was taken advantage of by this guy, as I lay passed out in my dorm room). So that was the end of my wild life. I realized that women can't openly play the field.
I'd say that both men and women are threatened by, more-so, the woman who is on the prowl. I feel that women who are having just too much fun, will be silenced.

I've ''experienced'' some women who were no oil paintings, if they had a decent body or just because I felt like it.
You don't have to look at the mantelpiece while you're poking the fire, as they say.

As George Carlin once said, "I've never been with a 10, but I once had 5 two's!"

Originally posted by Wyn Hawks

Originally posted by UmbraSumus
Professor of Psychology - Steven Pinker
" in no society do men readily share a wife.
(extract taken from How the Mind Works/ Steven Pinker.)

...thats misogynistic bs from a man thats on his 3rd wife, lol... polyandrous societies have been around forever and there are still many, many, many - even in the usofa...

I didn`t know that about Mr. Pinker ....

But polyandry is extremely rare ..... no ?
With the few societies practising it ,mostly engaging in fraternal polyandry. Where I would imagine there is a clear hierarchy among the brothers according to age. I may be wrong but I believe this is practised more out of necessity than choice.

reply to post by UmbraSumus


Mr. Pinker has obviously never studied Wiccan relationships, where it's not unheard of for a woman to have multiple male partners. I know of at least a few such relationships. Not my cup of tea, but hey, to each their own, right?

Originally posted by Gazrok
reply to post by UmbraSumus

 

Mr. Pinker has obviously never studied Wiccan relationships, where it's not unheard of for a woman to have multiple male partners. I know of at least a few such relationships. Not my cup of tea, but hey, to each their own, right?

edit on 9-11-2010 by Gazrok because: (no reason given)

Do those multiple male partners themselves have female companions ?

Are they `sharing the intimate knowledge of.....` the Wicca woman .

Yeah that last sentence is a bit weird .

Originally posted by NWOnoworldorder
This is something that has eluded me for many years and i still havent got to the bottom of it.

why if a woman sleeps around or has had many partners shes a slut but if a man has had many partners hes a stud?

surely both of them are sluts?

it is more acceptable in society for men to have multiple partners or a sex-buddy or to play the field, nobody bats an eye, however if a woman has multiple partners or a sex-buddy or plays the field shes a slut/whore and will actually be outcast from thier peers, and beat up by other girls.

this thought came to me again when i watch the film easy a, women dont like sluts....why is this? jealousy?

id appreciate your thoughts on this


thanks guys

I think this came along with the Christian mentality demonizing all women and blaming original sin on them. I had two sisters and a Fundamental Mother. She told my sisters many times that if they had sex out of marriage they would become sluts and whores, and one did, actually, although that was her own choice. I too have seen this for most of my rather long life, but! that being said, I will say this:
My wife, a beautiful babe who makes me feel young again, has, and shows me many faces. Guess which face I like the best? That's right, the slut face.

Do those multiple male partners themselves have female companions ?

Are they `sharing the intimate knowledge of.....` the Wicca woman .

In the 3 examples I know personally, the two guys are exclusive with the one woman, in each of these relationships. In other words, the girl has the two guys, and they share her. She doesn't go with other guys, just the two...and they don't see other women, just her.

Keep in mind, the female is emphasized in Wicca, to a great extent, so the males seem to give up their dominance (at least that's my personal observation)...so guess this isn't for gals who want a strong male. Personally, I don't get it, but who am I to judge what others want to do in their own relationships? All I can do is offer my observations and experiences.

they would become sluts and whores

There's a difference you know. Sluts do it for fun. Whores do it for money (or material possessions). Yes, this makes trophy wives glorified whores. Too bad. Own up to it.

I have got nothing against "sluts" (or whores for that matter) but imo quality is far better than quantity.

You don't skull fine wine you savour it

.. then again it depends if you are drinking it with red meat or fish.

reply to post by riley


Too true, too true...

Of course, one could make the argument than when we were younger, SOMETIMES quantity was more of a concern,

Originally posted by Sherlock Holmes

Originally posted by rusethorcain
Strategy is another reason women don't like sluts.
Libido aside...If you ever read a book called The Rules... it informs girls how to use their sexuality as a bargaining tool to ensnare a man into a legal marriage contract.
It is designed to engage a woman in matrimony and form couples.
This is part and parcel of old Christian values and I am not knocking it.
Women who put out for free...lessen these girls ability to bargain.

This is another reason that promiscuity is not in a woman's best interest.

The only power that a woman can have over a man, is sexual.
Giving him exactly what he wants, without using her sexuality to her advantage, is not very sensible.


There's also the fact that no man ( unless he's desperate ) wants to settle down with some washed-up 30-something who has been around the track more times than a champion greyhound.

Women like this always have to learn the hard-way; that their care-free actions do have negative consequences later in life !

This has not been true in my experience. I have known women who get around, and the men that love them. I cannot figure what it is that attracts these men but like somebody opened a honey jar - there they are.
And when bachelor number one moves on there will be another man right there to take his place.
And these men are not dogs, and not desperate. 30 something? A 30 something woman with a history like Secretariat could walk into my bar and snag a man that would marry her in a week. And they are not bad looking men either, successful retired. Unfortunately they outlived their wives.

For every person there is, there is someone that loves them, just the way they are.
Slut, tramp or prude.
People are attracted to the chemical pheromones.
Either you have them for each other, or you don't.

Originally posted by rusethorcain
This has not been true in my experience. I have known women who get around, and the men that love them. I cannot figure what it is that attracts these men but like somebody opened a honey jar - there they are.

I'd reckon that these men are desperate. They may have self-esteem ''issues'' or find it difficult to genuinely ''connect'' with women.

They are probably so desperate to find someone that is willing to shack-up with them, that they would ignore the promiscuous past of the woman.

Originally posted by rusethorcain
And when bachelor number one moves on there will be another man right there to take his place.
And these men are not dogs, and not desperate. 30 something? A 30 something woman with a history like Secretariat could walk into my bar and snag a man that would marry her in a week. And they are not bad looking men either, successful retired. Unfortunately they outlived their wives.

I had to look up ''who'' Secretariat was, but I was amused by your allusion, vis-à-vis my greyhound comment.

I have to disagree with you again, here.

Men who hook up with washed-up, promiscuous 30+ women are seriously lacking in something; common sense, for a start.

If they were attractive and successful, as well as having a fully-rounded personality, then they wouldn't have the need or desire to dig around in the bargain-basement of potential girlfriends or wives.

Originally posted by rusethorcain
For every person there is, there is someone that loves them, just the way they are.
Slut, tramp or prude.

Sorry, but that is overly-sentimental nonsense.

Originally posted by rusethorcain
People are attracted to the chemical pheromones.
Either you have them for each other, or you don't.

Being attracted to someone is something completely different to consciously forming a emotional relationship with them.

I'm not saying that a 30-something woman that has been around the block a few too many times is an unattractive woman; rather, that the woman is an unattractive proposition for a man to settle down with as a long-term partner.

That is all.

Originally posted by andy1033
I am sure most males want all slutty females.

The way i see the world is females should be as slutty as they want, and same with males.

But as long as the sluts do not come near me, its ok in my world. That has nothing to do with cavemen attitude, is is to do with how i am and not being interested in sex with them period, but the funny thing is females think all males want them, and especially the very good looking ones. The very good looking ones are the funniest as they think they can cure gays, lol.

Thats hillarious they think they could cure being gay, They sure have a high opinion of themselves if they think that.


For the op's question, both genders sleep around, the reason why a male that sleep around with lots of females, is called a stud and not a slut, is because it's easier for females to sleep around with males then the other way around. Even the club hoppers still have to buy the drinks and all that for the females, and last I was at a club, even the drinks weren't cheep so I guess, it would add up. So it's both a monetary thing as well as a look's thing as well as some other none disclosed thing. But over all It's a male thing, because you usually have to go through lots shin't or buy lots of thing's and own lots of things, to have women want to sleep with you. And women just basically just have to be basically just alive and around and moving, for guys to be attracted to. Stud is just a thing that we say among ourself, kind of like "you old dog you found a shortcut around all that work, your a stud". Thats all really there is to it, just a saying. In reality both males and females that sleep around are sluts, but only one of them would require a lot more effort and work put into it, then just existing.

reply to post by Sherlock Holmes


What do you think about women who hook up with men who have been around the block and back?
I think they are the last horse in a losing race and once a man confirms he is a "player' he never changes.
He may not wander while you are right there in front of him but you will never be able to leave or trust him alone with a woman. These men tend to have less respect, not necessarily for women, but for monogamy.

What happens is they get older, and no matter how much they'd like to fool around like they did when they were younger, they just can't manage the stamina. Women on the other hand...never lose their ability to make love.

I am not sure if you are aware of this but unless a woman confesses the number of lovers she has had, there is no way the man can ever know. What ever she is telling you - she's lying. Triple it.
So much for his self esteem issues. Most men I have met could care less about a woman's childhood, young adulthood or womanhood. They are interested in the woman they met today.
These are men with enormous self confidence and do not put themselves in silly competitions with other men over whose girlfriend has the least experience.
They know they are not likely to get the truth out of the woman and it really isn't any of their business any more than his past loves are any of her business.
It is men looking for woman without priors who are looking for an emblem, a prize heifer of good breeding and unquestionable virtue who are the ones truly lacking in self confidence.
They are not sure of themselves and more concerned with what their friends and neighbors will think in order to keep up appearances.
These men usually keep the "pure" woman on a pedestal and a whore around for fun. The whore knows about the "pure" wife but the wife never knows about the whore until she a)finds out she has his child or b)gives him a venereal disease c)somebody tells her.

The best men in bed have either a) had a number of lovers or b) they watch a lot of porn.

...since this is a BTS thread, how about some applicable jokes?...

...do you know what a happy man with a big-legged woman sounds like?... muffled...


...do you know what a happy man with a big-boobed gal sounds like?... slurp, slurp, cooo, gurgle, slurp...


...whats the difference between a misogynist and his wife?... six feet of dirt and a cheap coffin...


...whats the difference between a misognynist and a really lonely mountain man?... elevation...

Originally posted by rusethorcain
What do you think about women who hook up with men who have been around the block and back?
I think they are the last horse in a losing race and once a man confirms he is a "player' he never changes.
He may not wander while you are right there in front of him but you will never be able to leave or trust him alone with a woman. These men tend to have less respect, not necessarily for women, but for monogamy.

If I was a woman ( and thankfully I'm not ) then I'd be wary of settling down with a ''player'', as they've got a proven track record of playing the field.

Originally posted by rusethorcain
What happens is they get older, and no matter how much they'd like to fool around like they did when they were younger, they just can't manage the stamina. Women on the other hand...never lose their ability to make love.

LOL.

I can't say I've ever ''experienced'' a granny, so I don't know how true your statement holds !

Originally posted by rusethorcain
I am not sure if you are aware of this but unless a woman confesses the number of lovers she has had, there is no way the man can ever know. What ever she is telling you - she's lying. Triple it.

There's an way to tell whether a woman is ''easy'' or not. You just have to identify body-language, that's all.

I'm aware that a woman with a ''rich history'' in the bedroom department is unlikely to tell the truth to her partner.

But women who've been around the block usually carry some tell tale signs. Their looks often start to look a bit ropey when they hit the big 3-0, as well.

Obviously correlation does not imply causation, and the most promiscuous women are usually those that live a party lifestyle, which is probably what takes the toll on their looks at such an early stage.

Originally posted by rusethorcain
So much for his self esteem issues. Most men I have met could care less about a woman's childhood, young adulthood or womanhood. They are interested in the woman they met today.
These are men with enormous self confidence and do not put themselves in silly competitions with other men over whose girlfriend has the least experience.

And someone's past is relevant to the person they are today.

With respect, these men who are only interested in ''the woman they meet today'' are mugs.
There's one born every minute...

Originally posted by rusethorcain
They know they are not likely to get the truth out of the woman and it really isn't any of their business any more than his past loves are any of her business.

It is absolutely someone's business to know the truth about their potential partner's history.

If somebody has a history of sleeping around and/or cheating on previous partners, then that information may well save somebody from hurt later in the relationship.

There's also the fact that any serious relationship should be built on trust, and anybody who lies about their number of sexual partners, or lies by omission, when they could forward such information, is not exactly somebody who is particularly trustworthy.

Originally posted by rusethorcain
It is men looking for woman without priors who are looking for an emblem, a prize heifer of good breeding and unquestionable virtue who are the ones truly lacking in self confidence.
They are not sure of themselves and more concerned with what their friends and neighbors will think in order to keep up appearances.

No, the men who are interested in this are just using common sense.

An attractive woman who doesn't put it about in her life, shows someone with character, mental fortitude and self-respect. These are all positive traits, and her previous ''virtue'' bodes well for future sexual exclusivity to the man.

A woman who does put it about a bit, displays a lack of self-respect, selfishness and irresponsibility.
These traits do not bode well for a serious long-term relationship !

Originally posted by rusethorcain
The best men in bed have either a) had a number of lovers or b) they watch a lot of porn.

Or both.

reply to post by Sherlock Holmes

her previous ''virtue'' bodes well for future sexual exclusivity to the man.

And this is what it is all about, right?
It is not whether the woman is happy content or sexually fulfilled herself....?

One thing is totally correct...If a woman buys into the "promiscuous women are trash" mentality she will attract men who will not respect her and may even abuse her.

And you are correct that a way to manipulate a man is to resist, refuse and rebuke his advances. This makes a man beside himself with desire since this part of the hunt is a primal emotion. Women know this.

If a woman is strong, honest and without apology for her appetite even if insatiable by modern standards, she will still be sought after and have her pick of many good and decent men.

Even sluts settle down.

I think this is attributed to Katherine Hepburn...forum.kusadasi.biz...

If you want to sacrifice the admiration of many men for the criticism of one, go ahead, get married.

I think finding the love of ones life is a beautiful, wonderful, desirous and even possible thing...but if it doesn't happen, don't beat yourself up over it.

Be discriminating, smart, careful. Life goes on.

Carol Channing found the love of her life in her 70's.
He was a high school sweet heart she mentioned in her memoirs. He was widowed, read the book and looked her up. I remember reading quotes from her saying it took her whole life, both their lives, to find each other (as he felt the same) but they have never been happier...ever.

From keeping antennea out always and asking people holding hands in their later years...I believe fairy tale love is not only possible but preplanned destiny a divine right of the cosmos or something and the love of your life is indeed presented to you, when you are somewhere between the ages of teen to young adult.

We even sort of recognize it when we see it.
Some people act on this "orbit crossing." They marry.
You may choose to let it go.
but I have decided that is a mistake.

It is like having a pair of aces and splitting them up to go for the straight.
Sometimes you win - sometimes you lose.
You are usually better off to stick with those aces.
They are worth more together, synergistically, than either card ever will be on it's own.

No matter...it is hardly a life threatening mistake.
Life is even more than romantic love.
And that is pretty great.

Originally posted by rusethorcain
And this is what it is all about, right?
It is not whether the woman is happy content or sexually fulfilled herself....?

I have no problem with a woman sleeping around if that makes her ''fulfilled'' ( although, I'm pretty sure that behaviour is mainly based on self-esteem issues and a lack of love ).

All I'm pointing out is that the more a woman behaves like this, the less likely she is to get a ''cream of the crop'' guy when she might want to settle down later in her life.

No man, unless he's desperate, will pick a woman from the bargain basement, when he's got a choice.

Originally posted by rusethorcain
One thing is totally correct...If a woman buys into the "promiscuous women are trash" mentality she will attract men who will not respect her and may even abuse her.

It's not that ''promiscuous women are trash'', it's that promiscuous women tend to lack self-control and responsibility for their actions, and the consequences of these actions may come back to bite them on the bum.

I don't think that they're ''trash''.

Originally posted by rusethorcain
And you are correct that a way to manipulate a man is to resist, refuse and rebuke his advances. This makes a man beside himself with desire since this part of the hunt is a primal emotion. Women know this.

Women know this, yet so many of them still ''put out'', when it has no advantage to them, other than maybe a few minutes of physical gratification.

For example, I slept with one of my work-mates who's got a reputation for being ''easy'', and now that's happened, she has absolutely no power over me whatsoever. I got what I wanted, and now that's it.
She's thrown away any possible ''bargaining chip'' that she may have used on me in future, and, as you say, she would have instantly had me more interested if she hadn't decided to jump into bed with me only a few days after she met me. Silly girl !

Originally posted by rusethorcain
If a woman is strong, honest and without apology for her appetite even if insatiable by modern standards, she will still be sought after and have her pick of many good and decent men.

Even sluts settle down.

I believe that you are deluding yourself if you genuinely believe this.

The top men are rich, successful, charismatic and good-looking. Why would they settle down with something from the poundshop, when they can afford to shop at Harrod's ?

Sluts do settle down; invariably with the beta-male types who are desperate.

Let's not forget that some of these promiscuous women have also usually had one or two ''serious relationships'' in their younger days, which may have resulted in them having children.

This makes them even more undesirable to settle down with, and even less likely to find ''Mr. Right'' - unless Mr. Right, to them, is some dufus with a large wallet who would raise another guy's children, and is that desperate that he'd except the baggage that comes along with the woman.