How's your sense of pride doing today?

Many years ago I came to the realization that I am nothing in the grand scale of things. My life is meaningless to anyone who doesn't know me. What I do or did is not of importance to those who are not part of my life. I am not an important person, to most I am not even an interesting person and I certainly am not "special". The things I achieve do not make other people proud of me, except maybe the ones closest to me.
I write this in the 'I' form, but it goes for all, or most of us.

I also learned that, despite the above, most people, if not everyone has a certain need to feel special or important. Everyone needs positive confirmation from time to time. Everyone needs a moment of pride every now and then.
Maybe those who lacked attention for a long time will do or say things to try and trigger confirming responses in others. Some even go as far as creating illusions for themselves about who they are and what is going on their lives, both in a positive and negative way. (we see a lot about that on ats as well)
Be it a call for attention or a need to feel worthy, I think we all have that in us.

I personally went through a whole period in which I craved recognition and didn't get it from anyone. My achievements where to be proud of, but instead I got envy and jealousy from others. I started feeling that no matter what I achieved, it didn't make me feel worthy and it wasn't satisfying. On the other hand, I did get recognition for things that didn't seem much to me, lol

anyway, I've been thinking about this subject ever since and I'm sure that a lot of people can relate to the feeling. Some may deny it and state that they don't need recognition or approval from anyone... and I agree that constantly wanting approval is not a good thing...

But, don't we all deserve it from time to time?

so I want you to think about a few things:

-have you made your loved ones (spouse, children, parents) feel worthy yet today? Did you make them know you are proud of them?

Most of us heard their parents yell "I hope you are proud of yourself young man/lady" whenever we did something wrong. Creating the feeling that self-pride is a negative thing.
Well it isn't! It's perfectly ok to feel pride with your achievements

-have you felt proud of yourself yet today?
You should have.

And sometimes we think "wow!" about the things others do or say or did and yet we don't say it out loud. Maybe your confirmation is exactly what that person needs to keep doing what he's doing.

So from now on, at least once a day I'll think of a reason to be proud of myself,
and at least once a day I will make my loved ones know how proud I am of them.
And everytime I think it about someone else I will try and let that person know, knowing it will make his day a lot better.

Pride, comfirmation, a compliment, recognition,...
it are small feel-good things with a huge effect on people, why don't we do more of it??

How's your pride today?

Eh- my cat and dog seem to think I'm pretty great. That's enough for me.

Originally posted by Zoodie
Eh- my cat and dog seem to think I'm pretty great. That's enough for me.

I'm so proud of you !

reply to post by GypsK


Hi GypsK!!!

Since you asked, my pride has its good days, and its bad days, much as I suspect most of us have. Today probably falls somewhere in the middle, which is OK with me.

But I didn't come to this thread to talk about me. I came to say something about you!

I've read a lot of your posts and they never fail to leave me feeling a tad more positive than I was before I read your words. I am sincerely impressed with your ability to see the bright side of things!

And your avatar thread is a stunning statement of personality! It speaks volumes that you take time for others in this community and do so with a quiet humility. This shows that you have a big heart and a giving nature.

So, let me take this moment to say that there are those of us on ATS who are proud to share this community with YOU!

~Heff

PS: You usually post really good music videos on BTS as well, so bonus!

This is why celebrities are surrounded by an entourage of "smoochers" so that they can feel good about the things they do.

We all must build that entourage of friends and family as well. No one can be expected to lift themselves by themselves because we all need a greater purpose than ourselves.

As for the Celebs, I think they are mostly fooling themselves, as we do as well but we get the opportunity to find real honest connections that are based just on who we are as a person. If we are lucky and recognize this we can "escort" those out of our lives and begin to seek out and include only those who love and adore us.

I am constantly in a struggle over several aspects of life's living rules, one being "honor thy mother and thy father". Who doesn't know that one? I had to close that door completely to a mother who would lie and a father who spent my entire life belittling me and ridiculing me (it is still unfathomable why a parent would purposely abuse their own children). I did grow older (which at one time I thought would never happen) and I did managed to stop the physical part of pain but the emotional part was like their own personal playground and nothing I could do would make it stop. I even had to close that door to my own siblings because they learned so well from their teachers. I had to close that door to anyone who could not completely honor me as I have always honored them. It was an empty time for a while, but now I feel liberated and I feel justified. I can do the smallest things which typically have no meaning and feel praised and loved. I have even started to love myself.

The other aspect to living life is understanding humility. This has been my hardest task, the giving from others without reason, being humble and sincere at the same time while accepting help from others. For so long I spent my life crawling out of the hole, always picking up the broken pieces and gluing them together, that I find it hard to accept when a stranger reaches out to me. I dare say that I have no humility and yet I know that it is through humility that we will gain our ultimate freedom. I think that spending an entire lifetime bowing down or setting myself up as submissive was always a means for the "bad" in my world to take hold, and that I have confused so many simple equations for happiness that I find myself stumbling when a stranger is kind to me. I have even tried to convince myself that there are no strangers and that I should open to all of them equally, but then one or two new abusers or "users" step in. It is not the giving part that was hard for me, I have always been giving myself away, it is the accepting part that makes me feel inadequate.

Right now I am on the precipice of losing everything I have worked so hard for. I am facing humility once again because I have had to reach out to complete strangers. I am trying to open all my doors but I am afraid because I do not want to let those in that do not deserve me. Ironically a stranger can gain access to me where as someone I know, based on the past, is not welcomed. It is more than confusion, because now I find myself at the moment when what I thought was an expression of "me" is being taken away from me. My home, my gardens, my livestock, and my general sense of security. I sense humility is trying to find me and I want to accept this gift. I find giving is so much easier than receiving, it is time I let humility encompass my world. I will have time to build it all again if I hold the Love within, even if it is just an illusion of the self.

I wish the OP the happiest of Life, and may you be adored and Loved by many! S&F This thread speaks to me personally, Thank you!

My sense of pride is doing quite well. Here's my story.

9 years ago, I had no job & lived in a borrowed house. Electricity being shut off due to non-payment was the norm. The house was completely devoid of change because it was all scrounged up to pay for cigarettes & what little food there was. I was a complete and utter disaster, addicted to & cooking meth, soaking whatever govt benefits I could all to support my habit. I wound up divorced, kids taken from me - headed down a deep dark well.
And then I met this girl....why she was attracted to me, I still do not know. She was much more physically attractive than any others that had paid attention to me, and at the time, that was pretty much all that mattered. I was 31 & she was 18. Dream come true, right? Eh. On the other side of the coin, I thought she was the most prolific bitch I had ever met in my three decades. In order to keep her handy, I had to change things about my life.
I kept her "handy" enough that she wound up pregnant. Unfortunately, the law caught up with me before my change was complete. After 18 months of care by the state, I stepped out into the world with a new mind. Everything that I had was gone. Home, clothes, even her. We wound up back together, and I saw that she wasn't really such a bitch after all - she never wanted me to stop doing anything that wasn't bad for me, and never wanted me to do anything that wouldn't benefit us. A year later, I started my own business. Now, 4/5 years later I'm earning 2/3 grand per week working out of a garage in my house. We don't have the stresses that we had before, bills are all paid, and enough money is saved to do us over for some time if need be. I've rebuilt my life & although I'm not rich, we are happy. I'm proud of what I accomplished, and also proud of my wife of 5 years for not giving up on me. That's why my pride is doing well.

Live for yourself. Not for others.

If you always try to satisfy other people, no-one will ever respect you.

reply to post by Hefficide


Thanks for that reply, not exactly what I expected when posting this thread and I think a lot of ats-ers in the politics forum will disagree with you! But I, of course, appreciate it very much so thanks for that

My avi's, well I'm kinda proud on those but there are so many more talented photoshop experts on ats who hardly get credit for their work, while their work is so much better and more detailed then mine (and I get compliments about it all the time). Some of my avi's where done in less then 10 min...

lol, your the first to admit in liking my kind of music

reply to post by Greensage


I don't know about the celebrities, maybe the first years having an entourage is a nice extra, but I think they soon find that their 'friendship' isn't because who they are but rather 'what' they are. Most of the entourage will not feel proud of the celeb, they feel envy instead...
That's one thing I always wonder about when people are sudenly nice to me. Are they sincere? Or do they need something from me?
I have a few close friends who really surprised me on that one, some who call you up on the phone just to ask how your doing and not to ask for money, lol, or rant about how bad 'their' day was because they know I will listen.

I' m sorry to hear your facing a rough time, just remember that you are not what you own and the people who care about you already know that, they like you because of who you are and offer you a hand because of that! You are the one that achieved, not the achievement itself...

I can relate to what you wrote about your parents, I grew up with an alcoholic father and an addicted mother, none of them could ever express pride towards me. I waited for my father to tell me he was proud of what I became till the day he died... he never said it.
But, you and I did not 'become' them and did not follow that example, while that would have been the easier road to take.... that's something to feel good about!

I wish you all the best and many good friends... and if you receive help then you probably deserved it!

reply to post by sykickvision


And you have every reason to be proud of yourself, and of your wife!
A story like that really proves that no one is a lost case no matter their past

7 years ago me and my husband had so much debt that we desided to sell everything we owned. We sold the house, the car and some furniture, rented a small cheap appartement and payed back every loan we had. We had almost no possesions anymore,but we didn't have debt to anyone either and that made me feel like the ritches person on the entire world!
One year later we desided to spend what money we had saved and we opened a small store, it turned out to be a big success and two years ago we expanded it... we recently bought a house again and things couldn't go better now.

Most people don't believe me when I say that 7 years ago I had nothing but my cloths.

Not too good, I'm depressed and have a very low self esteem right now.