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Camera over bed looking down on Shane (asleep). Peaceful and serene the camera zooms slowly in on his face. Then suddenly jumps to extreme close up of his eye as it flashes open. Flash cuts to drunken breakup (last night’s events) Flash back to side shot of Shane’s face in bed as he half scream/croaks
“Day 0 of being single” is shown on screen. The 0 clocks over to 1.
Back to wide shot over bed looking down as Shane throws off covers revealing that he is fully dressed clutching a pineapple and a wok.
Nonplussed he drags himself out of bed as music starts to play. Room is covered with toys/comics/bowie stuff/bob Dylan stuff and cartoons that he has drawn. Heads to Bathroom
Quick shot of peeing while brushing teeth. Cut to lathering up. Jump cut showing the various steps of shaving. Regards himself clean shaven, but doesn’t like it. Picks up an electric razor and runs it across his face which inexplicably spreads stubble. When he is finished he has tidy designer stubble.
Cut back to room as Shane opens closet. Cut to Digital retro video game graphic cycling through Various novelty t-shirts. The selection goes one too far, goes back, and there is a retro video game selection noise. Similar graphic for pants except there are only two options, one which cannot be selected because it is “IN WASH”. “Menu” closes to reveal Shane standing there fully dressed.
Heads downstairs to living room/ kitchen area. Rob is hanging upside down off the couch covered in cans, food boxes etc. He is wearing sunglasses but no pants. He shifts with a groan to see Shane, displacing cans and food cartons. Shane “busies” about kitchen as he chats with Rob.
Rob: Good morning Old bean, What a bloody great night eh?
Shane: I don’t think so...I don’t really remember anything.
Rob: I know! Brilliant eh?
Shane: I think me and Siobhan broke up last night
Rob: Ah #...still, never liked her anyway.
Shane: Jesus Rob.
Rob: What? You finally slayed Grendel’s mum. There should be a party in the king’s hall! We could invite that Caligula bloke.
Shane: No more messing time-travel. When we got back from seeing Neil Young at Woodstock Gary Numan was supreme overlord of Earth-one. Took weeks to fix.
Rob: I liked his policies on dinosaur reform.
Shane: Besides what if I get back with her, I’ll always know you don’t like her now. It’ll be sitting there in my brain, taunting me like. Then I’ll start to think if my friends don’t like her there must be something wrong with her; if there’s something wrong with her and I can’t see it is there something wrong with me, maybe I have a brain tumour that prevents me from people seeing people as they really are. This is a potential platform for my inevitable descent into madness.
Rob: Mild doses of repression can be very helpful you know. I’ve successfully blocked out febuary 2003 to 2004.
Rob: (Pauses with Glazed look on face) ...Can’t remember. Anyway you shouldn’t get back with Siobhan.
Shane: Why not
Rob: I don’t like her.