You might be a Freemason

Day after day, year after year, we Freemasons and non-Freemasons (how binary!) meet in battle to accuse one another of various forms of debauchery, deceit and intimacy with members of the plant kingdom.

The thing we fail to consider, though, is that there are certain characteristics that both define and attract people to Freemasonry. In fact, it may be possible that *YOU* are already a Freemason and don't even know it.

To that end I have compiled a list characteristics that might indicate that you are a Freemason. Admittedly it is incomplete, and I'm sure that others will contribute.

So, in the spirit of universal brother/sisterhood, and in defiance of the horrible world of earthquakes, plagues, volcanoes and endless misery, let us have a little fun.

You might be a Freemason...


- If you enjoy being tied up and blindfolded, you might be a Freemason.

- If the phrase "there is a certain point within a circle" makes you giggle, you might be a Freemason.

- If you have an irrational fear of goats, you might be a Freemason.

- If you think "Eureka" is something other than a word on a flag, you might be a Freemason.

- If you've ever looked up the words superficies, cowan, pilaster or ecliptic in a dictionary, you might be a Freemason.

- If corn, wine and oil remind you of something other than a family barbecue, you might be a Freemason.

- If you've ever faced a moral impasse on your wedding night because you married a Mason's daughter, you might be a Freemason.

- If you brag about the number of cubits your car gets to the gallon, you might be a Freemason.

- If you've ever referred to a tall, cold Budweiser as a 'means of refreshment', you might be a Freemason.

- If you've ever yelled out "SO MOTE IT BE" at a tent revival, you might be a Freemason.

- If you have an affinity for sitting in ancient chairs with busted springs stabbing you in the butt for hours at a time, you might be a Freemason.

etc.

etc.

Haha, I guess I am not a Freemason. Goats are among my favorite animals.

If you have ever accused someone of being an irreligous libertine, you might be a freemason.

If you thought you could keep someone from getting elected for president with a marble, you might be a freemason.

If you see teenagers walking around with one leg of their pants rolled up, and don't think it looks silly, you might be a freemason.

If you find yourself looking at the corner of every important building you enter, you might be a freemason.

If your daughter's new boyfriend comes to the house and you meet him with the tip of a sharp instrument to his chest, well heck... you are just a dad!

reply to post by emsed1

- If you've ever faced a moral impasse on your wedding night because you married a Mason's daughter, you might be a Freemason.

GUILTY! and I catch H*LL for it at meetings once in awhile. Especially when I announced the first pregnancy!!

My father-in-law raised me (in Masonry for those who don't know what it means, I didn't marry my sister, lol!). After the Degree and the Obligation, he says, "Now have you violated or transgressed any of those things?" And somebody handed him the sword!

- If you've ever yelled out "SO MOTE IT BE" at a tent revival, you might be a Freemason.

Also a pet-peeve of my Preachers.
Someone has to keep him on his toes. I tell him that God sent me to try him.

[edit on 31-8-2010 by getreadyalready]

reply to post by getreadyalready


I would have pooped a little.

My father-in-law would have USED the sword!

you might be a member of my lodge if you believe that the JD door raps are for no other reason then to wake the tyler.

If the smoking and non-smoking sections of your reception hall are the same table, you might be a Freemason.

If yu cn rd ts, yu mt b a M!

LOL, well i have a goat,used to have 5 of em,now sheep cos they are tasty!
I may be a candidate for freemason as my father (passed)and my uncle are freemasons.
Every xmas was a freemason event.
I have my fathers apron and ring,he passed it on to me in the hope i would join.

Interesting, indeed.
2nd

Originally posted by network dude
you might be a member of my lodge if you believe that the JD door raps are for no other reason then to wake the tyler.

Tylers, at least those of my aquaintance, always seemed to be a sleepy lot. Of course other than the raps, what is there of interest out there?

I think there is not so much conspiracy here, as there is humor.

[edit on 31-8-2010 by butcherguy]

lol you guys are killin me...I wanna be a part of the brotherhood

If you pay others' utility bills in secret, whether or not they dispise you, you might be a Freemason.

If you believe our commonalities are more important than our differences and that we should all just get along, man, you might be a Freemason.

If you believe in service to others, without expectation of return, you might be a Freemason.

If the phrase "coming under the tongue of good report" sounds dirty to you, you might be a Freemason.

If, as you've pulled over a suspected drunk driver, you instruct him to take one regular upright step, you might be a Freemason.

If being brought from labor to refreshment makes you unusually thirsty, you might be a Freemason.

reply to post by JoshNorton


I wish Florida had BEER!

We can't even have it on the Lodge grounds! We can't even rent the facility to somebody else that wants to have beer! We only rent to Girl Scouts and High School Bands groups (the nerdy ones, not the cool kind).


Labor to Refreshment = crunchy old man cookies and sugarless koolaid.

I love the DUI quote though!! You could walk them through the whole degree! That is hard to do sober, I can't imagine doing it drunk with flashing lights and strobes going!

why would masons hate goats?

I was a mason but I left because it was full of old people and boring.

I dont member any goat stuff in any of the stuff I saw there and I was in it for like 2 years doing all that stuff and jumping through all the hoops they have people jump through.

ooooooo If i could get that time I wasted back.

Originally posted by tigpoppa
why would masons hate goats?

I was a mason but I left because it was full of old people and boring.

I dont member any goat stuff in any of the stuff I saw there and I was in it for like 2 years doing all that stuff and jumping through all the hoops they have people jump through.

ooooooo If i could get that time I wasted back.

Well, you don't know about Goats. You had a boring lodge full of old men that you disliked. You feel like it was time wasted. No wonder you are no longer a Mason, and no wonder you don't see the value or fun in it.

In almost every state, due to the economic conditions, they are forgiving past due membership fees. You can probably pay one year's dues, demit to a new lodge, meet the goat, and find out a lot more about Masonry than you ever imagined! You are welcome to check out my Lodge, but we don't have beer. Maybe you should see Josh instead.

reply to post by tigpoppa


jumping through all the hoops


HAahaha..

reply to post by tigpoppa


jumping through all the hoops


HAahaha.. u are killing me!

If you see a couple of queers having a snuggle in the local park, and it reminds you of the five points of fellowship, you may have latent masonic tendencies.

Originally posted by getreadyalready

In almost every state, due to the economic conditions, they are forgiving past due membership fees. You can probably pay one year's dues, demit to a new lodge, meet the goat, and find out a lot more about Masonry than you ever imagined! You are welcome to check out my Lodge, but we don't have beer. Maybe you should see Josh instead.

Meh, We got got that are like 10 years behind. Used to talk about it in lodge dont even know whose alive and whose dead. Dues are not a big deal at my lodge but that varies from lodge to lodge. Maybe when I am old and have nothing left to live for I will go back and argue for hours about heat, sitting on bumpy chairs staring into space drooling on myself. If they loved the history so much it would be nice if half of the 8 guys who would show up outside the officers would stay awake. yep its that boring.