reply to post by SarK0Y
It was mainly nerve damage that basically was incredibly annoying. Like this entity telling me I had to do it otherwise there was a burning sensation
if I did not. Now that part of me is shut down and been reclaimed for other purposes. Like a condemned building with a drug lord where the drug lord
was shot dead and the building turned into whatever I need. Indeed my brain did learn to operate another way around the problem. Sometimes I credit
that when people ask why I am so odd and think so differently. I've always noticed that I don't think along the same pathways as most people and
pick of details perhaps that I should not but I do and use it to deduce situations. I suppose by forcing the neurons elsewhere to do extra work, when
the condemned part was reclaimed and the neurons no longer had to do so much work, they could not operate at higher efficiency for their original
tasks.
I did get a brain scan once during these twitches because they did not know at first it was aspartame. Came up normal. Nothing odd about it. So
sometime I want to go back and rescan it and see if anything has changed since all those years ago of twitches.
As for reprogramming you may have a point. I've often have sudden stops of breathing while doing mentally intensive things and I forget to breathe
until that burning in the lungs starts. It's odd. But I don't think it's a problem. You can't reprogram certain basic needs. I mean you can guess
that I have a high tolerance for pain due to those previous experiences, but I still feel pain. It's still annoying. I still have to reply to that
stimuli.
Aspartame is indeed crap. But eve these days I'm forced to consume it when I have to. I don't get anything negative from it unless I have it
continuously for a few days. One candy bar with it will just make my neck twitch or something. It's like the brain adapted. It knows it's poison, so
it will not let the brain touch it except for the parts already destroyed by it. The thought has passed by to just mass consume it one day and kill
those damaged parts altogether once and for all. Something like where the poison becomes a cure. But I fear being wrong and throwing my brain into the
gutter once more. At least I'd know how to stop it again if it happened.
reply to post by AllIsOne
I'm not sure about the amazing part. I think more or less luck. If I'd never asked the question of why, I'd still be that way. But I asked that
question to myself and did not have an answer. Even to a little kid the answer "because it says so" seems utterly wrong. Why do you touch things 4x
each? because my brain tells me to. Why do you repeat sentences? Because my brain tells me to. Eventually I just pretty much said "really? That's
why? Really!?" and from then on began the slow but steady process of learning to say no, ignore the burning pain of saying now, and simply deny that
part of my brain. Eventually the need to do such things died and with it any control that part had over me. The infinite loop errors stopped and I
regained full control of my brain and began slicing and dicing that part mentally to be used for other purposes. By doing that, I think I
full-heartedly eliminated whatever problem with the circuits that part of my brain had.
As for the sig, I love Phage and his posts but sometimes don't agree with it. I guess its more like starship troopers. sarcastic and true at the same
time.
reply to post by VonDoomen
I've been programming my brain since that first experience. Took a while to realize that that was what I did. To the mind of a child I was literally
removing a dictator in my head. You know how kids personify things. As I grew older I realized I was literally altering the neuron pathways for
thinking so as to ignore those parts that malfunctioned. Like I said, occasionally under stress I have a few tics and repetition of words. But only
just barely. Like echoes of dead neurons. I'd imagine that they still work, but have been reduced to having to be listened to.
I can currently run full range simulations in my brain which are totally epic. People talk about out of body experiences and lucid dreaming and such
things. I sometimes wonder if my brain can do that, have no clue. But it's epic the dreams I have. I can even create a hologram over what I'm
seeing. Helps alot when I'm designing something on a project. I also hear music in my head at a level of quality as good as actual audio. Gets creepy
sometimes, because you know it's music you played in your brain, but it is so good and rich in quality you'd swear there's a speaker or something
nearby.
I've had people call me crazy for that. I don't see how it is. It is clearly fake and nothing more than my mind. I'm not some crazy man who can't
tell the difference between reality and dream. I can create full on holograms in my head of characters from things I want to write about and analyze
every little detail about them and make them exactly how I want, then project them mentally onto something I see, or create my own scene in my head.
But it is fake. It is so obvious. And just as easily as it was created, I can destroy it in a moment's notice and its entire existence is zipped away
to a file neatly stored in my brain. I've got too much stuff up there. Got to start putting it to writing and videos and what not.