posted on May, 4 2010 @ 02:34 PM
Let me tell you about a scot born paki muslim lad I knew.
He had a scottish girlfriend who had 3 or 4 kids, (all to different men I think). He liked to smoke dope, sell a bit here and there, and
he was quite happy. He did get a couple of months in jail for selling said dope, but apart from that his life seemed fine.
After he did his little time in jail, his brothers and uncles decided it was time he settled down and they found him a distant cousin they
thought he could marry. She had been sent over from Pakistan to live with an uncle and aunt, had no other relatives and she spoke no English. He
went to a meeting about said marriage and caught a teeny glimpse of her peering round a door but that was it. He wanted the Scots girl with all the
His brothers started to put pressure on him and even asked me to have a word about him marrying this girl. My opinion was that he'd be
better off marrying the Pakistani girl rather than the one with the kids because then he wouldn't fall out with his family. She had nobody to go
back to and nobody here really either. Uncle and aunt were virtual strangers. I thought he would be, in effect, rescuing this girl. The
girlfriend with all the kids also had various "dads" calling on her all the time which was also a major down.
Eventually the Scots girl got the heave-ho and he decided to marry the Pakistani girl, to his family's relief. They had a huge wedding
and she moved into the house he shared with his mum. He brought his new wife to my house one day and I was absolutely gobsmacked. She was the
most beautiful human being I've ever seen in my whole life. A tiny wee lass too, only about 16-17.
"Is she going to English speaking classes?" I asked him.
"Nah", he says.
"Oh! She should enrol," I says, "She'll love it here, be handy for her too, get to know people"
His friendly smile vanished. "She'll go where I want her to go. She can do things only if I decide to let her."
He'd never have gotten away with that if he'd stuck with the other girlfriend. It's nothing other than power v helplessness. He has the back up
of all his "tribe" who behave the same way and she has nowhere to turn while he makes her decisions for her.