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BANGKOK – Responding to international criticism that its initial donation of $20,000 was insufficient, the Thai government has generously added 50,000 bottles of whitening skin cream to its aid shipment to earthquake-stricken Haiti. “Thailand is a compassionate nation,” said Foreign Minister Kasit Piromya. “We noticed in the news that the Haitians are all very dark-skinned. This is surely one of the reasons they are living in poverty. With lighter skin they could be more successful.”
The whitening cream represents the single-largest shipment of its kind ever to a disaster-zone. Prime Minister Abhisit Vejjajiva said that the generosity of Thais was evident because so many people had encouraged the donation. “Everyone kept talking about how black-skinned the Haitians are,” he said. “At every discussion about aid, the skin color kept coming up. I see now that the initial pledge of USD20,000 was very low because in the back of our minds we knew that these black people needed something more than just money
“But these Haiti people are so dark I don’t want to give them anything. Maybe if they were lighter, like Obama.” It is believed that the whitening cream can make the homeless, starving survivors of the earthquake look whiter and brighter in just 14 days, according to the Unilever brochure. It is hoped that by looking whiter, the Haitians might be able to secure more aid.
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