A Strange Feeling as of Late...

On an interesting note, do you notice how there is a burst of posts when something is going down?

It's like we all pick up on it and feel inclined to post.

I'm telling you, I have the most unsettling feeling right now. I feel like when I wake up tommorow morning, there is going to be some crazy breaking news somewhere in the world.

Phoenix, i tryied it since this happened and well, i'm still to weak in faith terms, so i need a little of an "ego burst" from time to time. As example, we used to have strong electric shocks when we touched each other with my now ex mentor. We always laughed about it, and last time we saw each other, there wasn't any discharge. And he said: "perfect, you've finally raised to my energetic level, congrats. Now, let's give (my other fiend, we used to work in a group of 3) some shocks!" and so we did. Those things were so important for my developement, as when he dragged me from a lucid dream to his, and taught me some fighting tecniques in the astral. I didn't saw him for a while, because he was in a sort of "spiritual journey", but when i asked him why he was messing up with my dreams, he just lol'd and said: you just needed some teaching. Now, tell me, how are your energy balls working now?. And i hadn't told him what i was reffering to yet.

I haven't seen him for like 2 months now, he ended his journed and decieded some weeks later to quit. He informed just my other friend, we haven't had a serious talk since he came back. And I can certainly feel that he's gone.
I feel like an orphan, mostly because i still feel i'm an apprentice and well, aprentices need to be trained till they're ready to go to the next level, and for certain, i'm not even in the middle of that path... my self faith is weak and i really feel that absence...

reply to post by Caggy


Well Caggy, reading your story, I just had a crazy thought.

Okay, so we know the big players in this thread for the most part.

Imagine us in that group were at one point a grand master that got split up into individual parts?

In order to regain our energy, we would all have to be teachers and students...

Caggy, seriously, your story just made me write that out of nowhere. how cool.

reply to post by Caggy


I believe in you even if you don't

Confidence is everything. If you don't believe in your own abilities, chances are you'll fail because you've already convinced yourself you will. Which just ends up being a vicious circle. You might feel alone, but you're not, we're here whether you like it or not Heck, even try and make a sigil to help with your confidence, the sky's the limit, anything's possible.

Stay safe, stay happy, stay calm.

- Phoenix

Hey everyone, it's been a while. I apologise for not hanging around much after my last post, but I had to have an operation to remove a rather nasty cyst and it knocked me out for a month. I'm still recovering but I'm stronger now and I searched out this thread again.

I was wondering, does anyone else feel like they've completely lost their balance? I know it sounds strange but I keep getting massive attacks of vertigo, kinda like the world took off without me and it takes a good hour or so to regain it. I could've put this down to the operation I had if it had happened constantly since the day I had it, but it's only started in this past week which is weird.

I'm also getting massive periods of confusion. Again, I know that sounds daft but it's the only way I can explain it. One minute I'm absolutely sure of who I am and the next, I don't believe everything I believe. I keep questioning and doubting and then suddenly, it clicks and then I lose it again. I keep spacing out too. I want to write my novel and i sit there and end up just staring at the screen and the words won't come.

The only other weird thing going on is with my brand new laptop. It worked fine when I bought it the day after my operation. In the last two weeks, it's gone crackers and at one point, I was looking at a £200 brick because it simply wouldn't work and I couldn't get a new operating system onto it.

Gah! I know that doesn't make sense but it's the only way I can get it out. I'm not even going to get into my dreams, they're all over too.

I feel like I'm walking through treacle at the minute and it's driving me bonkers! Is anyone else feeling like this?

Somebody said, ask and it will be granted.
Today i recieved a message from the first guy who talked to me about chaos magic back in 2002-2003. I haven't seen him in like... 6 years. This is plain awesome, also, they called us for the interview, it's gonna be on friday!
if anyone sent me some good vibes, then THANK YOU, everything started to work a least!
even when my unle had an epileptic crisis this morning, and i couldn't sleep again since then, this has been a good day (well, it was good to him too, because it was the same crisis he had some months ago, and by this, the doctors finally confirmed it was epilepsia and not a glicemic crisis, and since today he's been treated fr it, so the crisis are gonna almost dissapear)

I'm feeling much better than I was before.

I had a lot of time today to reflect on my life, and because of that, I am able to focus on the now.

My spiritual power has returned. Stress levels are down. I am ready to reach out and help if any of you need a positive vibration boost.

reply to post by sephrenia


Glad to hear you're feeling better Nasty nasty cyst

I concur with most of your post, several members have reported loss of balance lately. I've had sort of similar with regards to the confusion but it's more like a moment of realisation about something, a moment of clarity and then I can't remember what it was. Frustrating.

As for your computer, what sort of symptoms is it showing? What have you tried so far? (I work as an IT tech).

With regards to your dreams, feel free to share them

reply to post by Caggy




That's awesome news! See, said I believed in you

- Phoenix

Originally posted by phoenix_zephyr
reply to post by sephrenia

 

Glad to hear you're feeling better

Nasty nasty cyst

I concur with most of your post, several members have reported loss of balance lately. I've had sort of similar with regards to the confusion but it's more like a moment of realisation about something, a moment of clarity and then I can't remember what it was. Frustrating.

As for your computer, what sort of symptoms is it showing? What have you tried so far? (I work as an IT tech).

With regards to your dreams, feel free to share them

reply to post by Caggy

 

That's awesome news! See, said I believed in you

- Phoenix

I know what you mean about the clarity! One minute, it all fits, everything and then just as you grasp it, it's gone again. It's beyond irritating.

My husband is an IT guy too but I'll give you a rundown on what's been happening.

I bought the laptop on the 10th April and it worked fine for the first week. then it suddenly started freezing and slowed right down when it did work which was annoying. I did a full system restore on it and again, it worked okay. That lasted until Saturday when it started freezing and crashing. I know it wasn't malware or a virus or anything like that and I know the system should have been running fine because I checked it using TuneUp Utilities as well as defragging it.

The laptop wasn't having any of it so I decided to have my husband install a new OS, booting from a flash drive. It point blank refused to take XP because of the way the laptop had been partitioned (the partition with the OS on had been named E:/ instead of C:/ ) so we had to completely remove all partitions, including the backup partition so that we could install vista.

So far it seems to be working okay but I'm not holding my breath. Other electrical items in the house have started malfunctioning too like the TV. Every time I walk past it now, it starts flickering madly if it's on or the colours change so everything could be blue or red or green which is weird or the digital set top box starts freezing up. We made a joke of it at first but now, it's getting a bit strange.

Has he run a harddrive test? Burn this to a cd (assuming you haven't already done so) it has a large variety of diagnostic tools. That way you can rule out a hardware error

Originally posted by sephrenia
So far it seems to be working okay but I'm not holding my breath. Other electrical items in the house have started malfunctioning too like the TV. Every time I walk past it now, it starts flickering madly if it's on or the colours change so everything could be blue or red or green which is weird or the digital set top box starts freezing up. We made a joke of it at first but now, it's getting a bit strange.

Ooo that does sound a bit weird. All started around the same time I assume?

- Phoenix

Edit to add: Woah, just had a really odd moment of synchronicity. I was looking up your username on ze google just to see if it had any particular meaning (I'm odd like that) and I see that it's a name from here ... where Pandion Knights is also the name of a gaming clan/community I'm part of (name based on the books). Just thought it was a little freaky ...

Originally posted by phoenix_zephyr
Has he run a harddrive test? Burn this to a cd (assuming you haven't already done so) it has a large variety of diagnostic tools. That way you can rule out a hardware error

Originally posted by sephrenia
So far it seems to be working okay but I'm not holding my breath. Other electrical items in the house have started malfunctioning too like the TV. Every time I walk past it now, it starts flickering madly if it's on or the colours change so everything could be blue or red or green which is weird or the digital set top box starts freezing up. We made a joke of it at first but now, it's getting a bit strange.

Ooo that does sound a bit weird. All started around the same time I assume?

- Phoenix

Edit to add: Woah, just had a really odd moment of synchronicity. I was looking up your username on ze google just to see if it had any particular meaning (I'm odd like that) and I see that it's a name from here ... where Pandion Knights is also the name of a gaming clan/community I'm part of (name based on the books). Just thought it was a little freaky ...

edit on 10/5/2011 by phoenix_zephyr because: To add

Thankyou for the link, I'll give it to him

That IS a random synchronicity! I chose the name because of the books a while ago. I matched her character perfectly, 'witchcraft' and all and although I've grown beyond that, I still use the name. It has a resonance for me I can't quite explain

Strangely enough, it was at that time (about 4 or 5 years ago now) that I got (sent/heard?) the sentence in my signature in my head and while I use it as a sig, it always reminds me of the Pandion Knights O.o


ETA: I just looked my username up and I found this link: www.kabalarians.com...

It's kind of weird that it's so accurate for me. Seriously, everything on that page is me.

*is beginning to feel spooked*

O.o Freaky. I think it's going to be one of those days ... I do like your sig by the way, very fitting for this thread I think.

- Phoenix

reply to post by phoenix_zephyr


I think you're right, things just keep 'clicking' today. You're right about my sig too, it IS fitting for this thread. I didn't even think of that when I first joined up and then I posted in this thread the first time and realised that it was...right, somehow.

Heh, I'm glad I have you guys to talk to, my husband is very logical and almost a fundamentalist atheist so any time I talk about feelings, he tends to laugh it off as me being a bit nuts.

reply to post by sephrenia


I've always been something of a catalyst for others, hard to explain

He sounds a bit like my other half, I think if his beliefs were catagorised he'd be agnostic, he's very scientifically minded and also works as an IT tech

- Phoenix

Just wanted to say:

Does Pokemon feel extremely relevant to your life right now?

For me, it is like in the top 5 relevancy of my life.

I love Pokemon so much.

reply to post by SolarE-Souljah


Were you talking to me?

Right before bed last night, I clearly heard two words.

These were the words:

-Karsamp

-Malden

Couldn't directly find Karsamp in a search engine, although Malden seems to be a location.

Either of these words mean anything to you?

reply to post by sephrenia


It was more of a question to everyone actually lol.

I'm a huge Pokemon fan, and Pokemon to me is very reminiscent of Shamanism.

reply to post by SolarE-Souljah


I've had Malden before but not last night. Sad to say, I've never actually bothered looking for it although I think it's a name of a town in the UK.

For the pokemon, I don't actually know much about it! I stopped watching/playing when I was a teenager.

Originally posted by SolarE-Souljah
Right before bed last night, I clearly heard two words.

These were the words:

-Karsamp

-Malden

Couldn't directly find Karsamp in a search engine, although Malden seems to be a location.

Either of these words mean anything to you?

Definitely those words/spellings?

Like you I couldn't find anything for Karsamp. A few for Karsa; hungarian for falcon and intention/wish in indonesian. Not sure how accurate that is though.

You're right, Malden is a place in the UK. Old Malden which means "cross on the hill" in old english. New Malden came about later in the mid-1800's.



ION: As I stood watching the clouds when I got home from work tonight, the phrase "something on the wind" came to mind for some reason.

- Phoenix