I worry that TV is destroying my wife's mind

She is a very good person and we've been through a lot of ups and downs together over a double-digit number of years. I'm not going to knock her: she's strong, capable, smart, caring, and retains a lot of the sexiness that she had when I first fell head over heels in love with her years ago.

But she watches TV ALL THE DAMN TIME. And a bunch of crap like "Sex in the City" and "The Hills." I can't stand the damn tube on so I go hide out in my study and post on ATS.

I think a constant diet of that "sassy" female-oriented TV drama is going to make anyone sick in the head if they keep it up. It reminds me of a psychospiritual form of aspartimine or something. Freaks me out.

I hate those type of shows! your right to be worried sarah jessica parker scares the hell out of me!

I watch a huge amount of tv, i'm sure it's affected me aswell, because I can't hold a conversation for the life of me! too much time with a tv and they don't talk back

[edit on 21-2-2010 by valiant]

reply to post by silent thunder


It's not the shows that would bother me but the commercials. They are designed to change ones way of thinking and what's "in" and whatnot. Perhaps you could suggest a hobby of some sort.

Tell her about all of the great women on here and maybe she will become one of the ATS babes..

But all kidding aside, I agree with you that too much TV can change ones way of thinking whether content or commercials and gives a very jaded view of the world.

Or you could just become hooked on them as well...honey, what time is Idol on again?? LOL

Perhaps an "accident" might happen outside the house, and your wife would be unable to watch tv for a night or two.

This unfortunate "accident" might for some reason loosen the cable from the box and while unfortunate, it might take "a few days" for the repairman to find the problem.

1. Get a DVR (the reason is so she can record shows...don't worry, this is just the first step away from the addiction, and you'll see why later)

2. Come up with other activities to do TOGETHER, such as board games, video games, go out to eat, go over a friend's house, etc. Mix it up. When she says, "But I'll miss !", you say, "Just record it. I want to spend some time with YOU honey."

3. She'll never find the time to watch the things she's recorded, and eventually, she'll grow less-dependent on these shows, or at least watch them while you're not around (especially if you tell her which shows you have NO interest in seeing)...

Worked for me. I'll never sit through another Gray's Anatomy episode, LOL...

reply to post by whatukno


Wukky...I like your thinking! I'm going to suggest this to my little brother, who has the same problem with his crazy wife who watches soaps all day, and the house is a tip. He gets home after a 12 hour day, and has to do housework, laundry, feed the kids.....tv is toxic, I know it is. My other half is becoming seriously addicted to it to a very disturbing degree, so I to am in the study, hiding from the crap. It's just not healthy. I will be searching accidentally for a cable outside when the snow disappears......

reply to post by silent thunder


Hate to say it, but as long as its not a terribly expensive TV...
I'd destroy it in the front yard. But, I'm a little nutz so...

In a manly, piratesque voice, like "Har, Har"
I'd proclaim, "Want to pay more attention to the TV than me? HAHA!"


It would bring you back to a more cave-man like jealous state.
Might get you more of her attention when there is NO tv.

All of this advice has been good and a lot of it has made me laugh. Thanks guys. I'd like to chainsaw the TV in two while laughing manaially or something but that's just not going to happen.

Any time I mention it to her she counters that I'm always glued to the computer reading sketchy stuff about global conspiracies and far-out religious theories so is that necessarily any less unhealthy? Yes, to my mind at least, because I'm denying ignorance and not wallowing in it. But in another sense she has a point.

We've got to get out more by hook or by crook I guess.

Anyway thanks for all the good advice.



[edit on 2/22/10 by silent thunder]

This is a pretty good thread.


Not elite, but pretty good.

reply to post by silent thunder


Count your lucky stars! At least she's home. My GF out running around getting hammered with her friends and getting into all kinds of mischief.

But then again, perhaps she is modeling herself after my behavior. oh well....

reply to post by whaaa


I'm sure the two of you are cheating on each other as well?

If you drink and party together you'll probably be faithful.

If you're partying away from each other....

She probably knows my wife.

We dumped the satellite.
Have you ever SEEN broadcast television?

I have a theory that cable owners bought broadcast networks and made the fare so pathetic that everyone would *need* premium tv.

One particularly egregious network is called THIS. You know B-movies. This is a Z network. "Friends of actors before they were stars" would be a good description, although nowhere near as painful. Their slogan should be "When you're between kidney stones and miss the pain, watch THIS!"

I think it is time to get some hobbies together.

My fiance' and I watch movies mostly, but we like CSI also. However, we only watch at night before going to bed.

Mostly, because we are out doing stuff the rest of the time!

Originally posted by silent thunder


Any time I mention it to her she counters that I'm always glued to the computer reading sketchy stuff about global conspiracies and far-out religious theories so is that necessarily any less unhealthy? Yes, to my mind at least, because I'm denying ignorance and not wallowing in it. But in another sense she has a point.

We've got to get out more by hook or by crook I guess.

Anyway thanks for all the good advice.



[edit on 2/22/10 by silent thunder]

Which is what I was going to say. If she thinks you are addicted to the computer she counters it by watching tv.

Somehow you have to meet in the middle. Perhaps you could step away and set the example and she will follow..

Here it comes.. get ready.

First of all.. WUK there is a reason you no longer have a woman and it is largely because of the attitude you have which is greatly reflected in the reply you made to this post which was totally domineering and would result most likely in this poor guy getting a divorce too.

TO the OP.

Your wife's choice of how she spends her free time is still her own. You do need to respect her personal choice as an idividual human being as she respects yours to be on a computer most of the time.

Now.. if you want to spend more time with her and perhaps both of you spend LESS time with your vices then maybe you should find out what makes her happy and try to find a way to do something with her that would make her happy.

For example.. many women love being taken OUT. Movie, dinner and yes even dancing.

Most people watch tv BECAUSE they feel their lives are boring and repetitive and it is an escape from the stress of real life... this is also the reason people play video games or sit on the computer for hours.

The solution.. break the monotony. Give her something enjoyable to do WITH you that will put the bond back between you both.

Don't lecture her about the tv.. when you are doing the same thing she is only with a computer.
that wont help and it will put her in a defensive position and make your situation worse.

Take her out. Join a club together.. there are soo many things you can do.
Just talk to her in passing and find out some things she might like to do that would get you both out of the house TOGETHER.

If you do this... I guarantee you will have your wife back and your relationship will be stronger for it.

If you listen to divorcee's you will end up one.

Just my 2 cents.. been married 17 years now.. still happy and we still go out together all the time. Whos advice do you think is more sound?

reply to post by NephraTari

First of all.. WUK there is a reason you no longer have a woman and it is largely because of the attitude you have which is greatly reflected in the reply you made to this post which was totally domineering and would result most likely in this poor guy getting a divorce too.

If unscrewing the cable results in the op getting a divorce, then there are way more problems in this marriage than TV.

What would be the end result of unscrewing the cable? Well, likely the OP's internet access runs on that cable as well, so he would be out the internet. What to do? Well, without the TV or internet, they both would be forced to look to each other for company, and therefore they may reconnect.

reply to post by whatukno


Unscrewing the cable is a control freak tactic that says this is what I want and I am going to do it how I want because thats just what I feel like doing.
There is no consideration for the other person.

reply to post by NephraTari

Unscrewing the cable is a control freak tactic that says this is what I want and I am going to do it how I want because thats just what I feel like doing.

I see, so the passive aggressive nature of the spouse who sits on the couch and just watches the TV (and note, just programming that she wants) all day long is fine because it's not controlling either right?

The fact that she has no consideration for silent thunder's want to spend time with her watching something that they both might enjoy, but instead, she is watching programming that only interests her.

So instead of taking my post for what it was actually meant to be (more of a joke and a silly over the top act to try and get two people talking) You took that opportunity to take a stab at my own failed marriage, something that you scarcely know anything about, and twist that information into a scathing analogy into relationship advice.

Originally posted by tribewilder
reply to post by silent thunder

 

It's not the shows that would bother me but the commercials. They are designed to change ones way of thinking and what's "in" and whatnot. Perhaps you could suggest a hobby of some sort.

Kudos. I'll download a few shows here or there, but commercial free. I hate commercials with a passion.

Originally posted by silent thunder
I'd like to chainsaw the TV in two while laughing manaially or something but that's just not going to happen.

You and me both, buddy.


...really haven't much else to add..guess ya don't really have to on bts...

Oh yeah, has anyone else who doesn't regularly watch t.v. noticed that people are generally stuck to the commercials? I rarely watch t.v. (don't own one), but over at a friends place when the commercials come on, I automatically look away and notice everyone else is straight up hypnotized by the ads. It really, really bothers me, and makes me feel like I'm living in some sort of bizarro world. I dunno...maybe just looking into it a bit too much...

It must be a sympton of being a ATS/BTSer... I too have
a strong dislike of the TV.
I find that a lot of people struggle to see what is factual
and what is spin.... and dare I say, what is real!!

They see news items as 'that happened today because
it's on the news today'
This isn't true... a lot of the 'news' is generic, rounded off,
non-time sensitive and placed to antagonise or cheer up.

The shows... well, they leave me wide-eyed with their
stereotyping, the shallowness of plots and the idea that
materialism is the only way to happiness and success.

The TV is a box in the corner that shows bright colors
and makes funny noises... that's it for me.

Unless the programme is about dresses.

AND... as said in that epic movie 'Lost Boys'
"read the TV guide, yer' don't need a TV"

[edit on 25-2-2010 by A boy in a dress]