why? why? why?!!!!!!

My bf and I broke up last month after he didnt call me on my birthday and honestly I was kind of over a lot of crap from him months ago. I tried and it was like a one way street, I did all the work and he did nothing.....Well now he calls and texts all the time. I mean why the hell couldnt he have done this when we were together. He is acting the way I wanted him to when we were together only we arent together now. Is it because he knows I'm interested in someone else??? He knows this person very well too and he even gave me advice on what this person likes and doesnt like. Very weird if you ask me. I mean my ex seems to forget he hurt me and wants to act like nothing happened and it bothers me. He tells me things that would have been great to hear months ago but now it's just too late. I dont give second chances!! I love him and I always will but he will never change, he may for a bit to please me but then he would be back to the same old crap and I dont want that. I am not a doormat! He knew what I wanted and I am pretty damn easy to please and he couldnt do the little things that matter....the little things are what matter!!! He called me yesterday and has been texting some odd things this morning and I said to him "did you forget you broke my heart" and he responded with some weird off the wall answer. Its like he is trying to apologize or say he misses me in a round about way and its confusing as hell!!

reply to post by mblahnikluver


Does "why" really matter?

reply to post by schrodingers dog


If it didnt I wouldnt be asking!!:

reply to post by mblahnikluver


I understand that ... but what I'm trying to gleam from your post is, what possible variation of an answer to that question would be in any way satisfactory?

Is there a justifiable reason for someone treating you and your feelings like crap?

He could be emotionally immature, a plain jackass, or a million other things ... none of which would justify either his behavior or be a good enough reason for you to tolerate it no?

Personally in all relationships, I go with the default:

"I can be perfectly miserable without you, your assistance isn't required."


happy xmas btw.

reply to post by mblahnikluver


Because alot of people take others for granted and don't realize what they've got until it's gone... Then they want it back! It may take some time, but eventually he will just have to realize that it's too little, too late. Maybe he will learn a valuable life lesson out of this!

Also, make sure it doesn't go all 'Fear' on you! There is truly a fine line between Love and Hate, and an even finer line between Devotion and Obsession!

Originally posted by JaxonRoberts
Because alot of people take others for granted and don't realize what they've got until it's gone... Then they want it back! It may take some time, but eventually he will just have to realize that it's too little, too late. Maybe he will learn a valuable life lesson out of this!

You beat me to it. This is exactly what I was going to say. It's like a child that has 10 toys. Pick one up and start playing with it and the child wants that one. Change toys and get the same results.

Some never grow up from this stage.

He had his chance Mblah, .....move on.

Honey, I'm gonna agree with the guys here...
seriously PAY NO ATTENTION TO THE GUY BEHIND THE CURTAIN..and keep going forward as you were. You were starting to be happy..no?
He is trying to be an anchor to drag you down.

*HUGS honey...
DO WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY..nobody else.
You are the only person who really cares about what you want.Go after it.

[edit on 26-12-2009 by AccessDenied]

Yep, you dont know what you got til its gone.

Honmestly its not worth the effort. I had this happen to me twice in previous relationships and never took them back. If hye really was serious about you two, he wouldve changed and stayed that way when you were together.

Just tell him its time to move on

Indeed, just move on, keep in mind change is a positive response to a negative reaction.

sorry about your ex being such a jerk to you. please sister find a carying man,dont go out with someone who will be the same.
i usualy isolate/ban/foreverignore people who i find out dont care about me.
they will just use u to chat with you,to bring you down.
sometimes the best way is to not forgive mistakes,but you know best

reply to post by mblahnikluver

...He is acting the way I wanted him to when we were together only we arent together now...

often - people don't act the way we want them to - often

you're here in the Rant section - ranting - to anyone who will listen - because why? Because you like this guy (I assume like - at the very least) and his behavior makes no sense to you - so you want to understand it

:-)

Here's one idea - sometimes (sometimes) the behavior of others is directly tied to our own. We just don't see it that way because, more or less, we make sense to our own selves. Maybe you don't make sense to him.

He called me yesterday and has been texting some odd things this morning and I said to him "did you forget you broke my heart" and he responded with some weird off the wall answer.

seems like his weird, off the wall answer might be a genuine response - I don't need to know what it is - I assume it's personal - just sayin' :-)

Its like he is trying to apologize or say he misses me in a round about way and its confusing as hell!!

yes it does - yes it is

I understand all the advice you've been given up to this point - I've been there myself - more than once - we all have. The temptation to raze all the fields and burn the bridges behind us is great. The other advice may all be on target - he's an unappreciative jerk who deserves to be let go

or, could be a very basic communication problem. A problem involving different expectations. Could be about fear.

you suggest you've moved on - and maybe you have. How much does he mean to you? Could you give it another try - knowing ahead of time that you might end up at the exact same point you're at right now?

life is short - how strong are you?

if you think about it that way - you'll figure out for yourself pretty quickly whether or not it's really over - or if you think it's worth another shot

Ask yourself...were you clear in communicating the things he needed to do, but didn't, that led to the breakup?

If you were, and he simply ignored it....I'd agree with the move on advice....

If not, then sounds like he just didn't know, and wants a second chance. At least this time, you're fore-armed and forewarned.....if you decide to give it another shot.

Join the fricken club luv!! I have just broke up with a guy of whom I have sold my house for, paid £2500 on immigration lawyers/visa apllication/medicals/criminal records checks, put a deposit on a place in australia and am in the process of selling my business to be with the sh"""head, however he became soo paranoid that he hacked my email accounts, pretended to be me here a few times, constantly checking up on me blah blah, so i ended it because i wasnt going to take his crap!!

Stick to your gunns luv; dont answer his texts or emails, change the sim on your mobile, and eventually he will get the messsage.. However if you keep answering his calls etc; all that does is give him that one scrap of hope to cling to.. You are encouraging him... Break all and any contact with him and move on sweety...

[edit on 053131p://f44Monday by Selahobed]

reply to post by mblahnikluver



In my humble opinion...

SCREW IT AND SCREW HIM

He is just mad as he finally realized what he lost. Forget about him, don't let this dude hold back your life my friend. Hang in there and just let it go as I am sure you mostly have.

reply to post by Selahobed



Do not loose faith, you just never know who may come knocking at your door.

Originally posted by Gazrok
Ask yourself...were you clear in communicating the things he needed to do, but didn't, that led to the breakup?

If you were, and he simply ignored it....I'd agree with the move on advice....

If not, then sounds like he just didn't know, and wants a second chance. At least this time, you're fore-armed and forewarned.....if you decide to give it another shot.

The individual went beyond communication and decided to backtrack accounts. A similar thing occurred to me about 4 or + odd years ago....to this day, that individual cannot even take a loan for 1k....i wonder why....

Its Russian roulette, if your ready willing and able...if am..so let the games begin..btw..it does not matter which county your reside in, its all digital to me.