Connection to conspiracies possible NWO link

I just wanted to attach an ending speech. I felt honored to consider being apart of something larger than life, I know I was disgraceful at times toward something beautiful, I just had to sacrifice a lot of normal development from 13-26. I dont know if it was an accident targeted cause of some untangible service contract or whatever but I used to remember head smashed cloudy or foggy and seperated from all of humanity for a long time. At times it would frustrate or piss me off of why did this have to happen and now broken down destroyed with nothing left and future unclear and attached to spiral out or wreck or collapse (repeatedly). (Breakfast Club) Gather round children (idiots) we are all going to listen to Sweet Tooth talk again. Messed up politics, music, he is so lucky, revolt, or he controls the world (megalomaniac I guess) or we hate him. I dont know what the corporations are doing, I am just a kid in my house (whole time) and me and my family have to put up with what they have done. A lot of people who cared or showed concern endlessly aggrivated by their nonsense. So many different points of view, just a kid , ripped apart at times by immature attitudes of children or musicians or whatever. I wanted to be a part of this at times, ran the course, in the almost infinite internet it kinda sorta happened somewhere for those who know where to look. An observer on the sidelines my whole life and trying to recognize the good and evil in the hearts of man? Jesus gave his life cause he cared, my son, considering all possibilities of what Revelations could of meant if it was talking about him sort of destroying evil and or also famine , pestilence, disease and death. Trying to imagine what the world was like back then, no cops. Savior or all the people he saved, what his coming meant. I am just a kid , but I am going to research and study this for the rest of my life. Feels like the only thing that mattered or of any importance of my normal life , on the sidelines. OK I gotta take off, I didnt care towards the end if cops or mental illness people showed up my neighbors are really doing something and they are really annoying. I will deal with them , OK idiots gather round time to listen to Sweet Tooth (Twisted Metal). No youre gay, no you are...
P.S. I just wanted to add I was listening to the song praise you by fatboy slim in the car today before I wrote this and sometimes reading through the Aethists and Christian or Catholics and I would think of all the people I used to know and their beliefs. At different ages and dont really talk about it, I had just been wondering around without any formal training , but there is so much culture over the years. I dont really know that much about certain things. I was sort of out of touch with things a little fried and talking to myself a lot sometimes people would intervene and say something on my threads. I dont know just a little freaked out and hopefully things will pass in time get back to normal. Religion is a beautiful thing that helped a lot of people and a lot of strong values and traditions and I just sort of looked at it from an outsiders perspective. Hopefully I didnt cause any problems with not getting my words right or whatever , I know I used to mess up a lot. Just for a long time trying to consider if something was going on and over time maybe masons or illluminati or something I dont know. Cant even begin to grasp the whole thing if certain things might make sense or... I dont know I just wanted to put this here and not have to post on this thread again . And I was thinking of a twilight zone episode after I did the first time with this thread about an airplane in the sky if you look up and see them sometime the lost crew just trying to get home. I dont know felt good coming here and I mess up a lot and had a head injury so you shouldnt put too much thought into something I might have said taken out of context. I dont know I am sorry for any problems I may have caused. Just felt alive and trying to consider conspiracies.
[edit on 28-11-2009 by P. O. W.]

[edit on 28-11-2009 by P. O. W.]

[edit on 28-11-2009 by P. O. W.]

I put an edit that got deleted hopefully its late and I wont cause probloems. Today I was arguing with my mom about train "accident" and said I know what happened if it was a drug fueled accident or whatever and the whole thing at graduation , yeah why do we have to pretend that doesnt exist and 3 years with the neighbors (I know its real) why cant I call the cops , you know I am not a slave. I said in edit that I erased horrible chronic history with women or lack of and a lot of my life has been a disaster like cursed. Reading messed up quotes from politicians here George Washington and Jefferson freemasons I think that sound messed up. Give me a job or service maybe where I almost die and destroyed half my life. I was sorry talking about sweet tooth I meant if thats how the world saw me or they used to see me or the fire on head head injury or represent the bad equation. I was trying to proclaim my innocence and no one had to get back to me so I sought asylum here. No future here and horrible history with women sorry if I tried to consider maybe getting out of this in the past or dreaming of starting over in vegas. Saw one hit wonders on mtv today maybe doing derogatory things yeah I dont care I hate some of you people. Watched Chaos Experiment today great movie he locks 6 different people in a stream room and increases temperature and says global warming and mayan phophecy 2012 predicted this and an experiment. Said experiment worked out exactly as planned some people will kill themselves kill others go completely insane and the strong will survive. This guy says being a part of your experiment and seeing chaos in human nature was the most incredible experience in my life. Really good movie if anyone saw it sorry I just wanted to include what I left out cause if my neighbors or anyone thinks I am an elist or something just try to reason and say I dont really have anything and now I am finally all better and got screwed over completely by some of these things. Eight years as O.J. trial unfolds on MTV maybe here or there and I get drugged and institutionalized and they say I dont even have freedom of speech. Why did we even do this, or did we if it s all pretend. Run and hide in the fuure or avoid people things are a little messed up maybe they will get better with time.

I am sorry I am just angry cant sleep, if you want to play heiroglyphics and no one says a word and people tell my parents I am gay CUT OFF SOMEONE ELSE S PENIS AND REATTACH IT and ask them how their doing after 10 years almost of being locked up on false charges and given heavy tranquilizers and youth and looks like whole life is gone or nothing to come back to, and they can use me in whatever way they want if they want to go against minor attempted murder or sexual abuse , who am I to stop them. Thats it I am done and I wont come back. Everyone else can do whatever they want but I cant.

I am sorry for lashing out its late so if I post this it will just be on my threads if anyone wants to see it. My head was all messed up I couldnt really function around women or know how to approach I jotted down a lot of nonsense and maybe said f it I still got other problems of uncertainty or exhausted delirious coming back from complete amnesia and 3 strokes with I dont know where I stand . Now I am sterile probably disgusting nonsense happened and my neighbors have been illegally flanking me for 3 years and I guess this cant reach anyone who can do something about it. Yeah they may have each have been paid 50,000 dollars because of some connection to me and me and my family didnt get any money out of this whole arrangement, I know what they would say why would be have to pay you, exactly. If I didnt get framed brought to court after I thought a police sting was in my house and refused meds then ordered and thought it was a national problem or on tv. You know an email wouldve helped anyone? Listened to 6 hours of music today and people are just people and I didnt mean to cause problems or ruin something good i f anything across the board. Maybe cause my heads all better from heavy tranquilers or telepathic powers or injuries can maybe make up for lost time at the dating scene, Yeah Right. I just turned 26 almost 30 when do you think its going to happen , set aside some time from daily nightmare. Watch mtv , thanks for having to put me in for front or around for so long or maybe include me in any way yeah it might work out, so youre not going to pay me then what did I get out of this, and why was I framed in high school for a columbine copycat and maybe targeted for severe head injury. Sorry if I messed up in past or was frustrated at neighbors and tried to voice or put something online where it could be read. I think my neighbor still thinks I am the devil or evil and she doesnt take into consideration all the problems she helped out with or my life and its all just really ridiculous. I used to be just a person , now maybe nowhere to go and caused lots of problems for me and people I know.

[edit on 1-12-2009 by P. O. W.]

I got into an argument today with my mother was reffering to slavery and why everyone has to pretend imaginary , my life is destroyed and my youth was spent behind a glass window disabled or on house arrest. Three years with my neighbors next door I am sterile now they tried to kill me and win the lotto in the hospital I was saying my life is destroyed cause of retarted children. The letter I am tired dizzy confused and my head hurts. My mom was saying I cant take this anymore the stress I am going to get sick ,10 years ago just drop it. And a plant she took care of since it was young and other people just throw crap on it. I have to keep music playing 24 hours a day every day or they can hear my thoughts even when I sleep been sort of paralzed and if I was able to try to get a job no one wants me around anyway. I lived in a house like any other and yesterday listening to music after 95 and looking for subliminals or the map I used to build years ago before 06 when I got sick. Hear terms like Chelsea (new eminem, this is for normal people everybody living normal lives) or Monica Lowinsky, it was a house like any other house. I was almost killed when barely 13 probably cause of this. Then severly disabled and I wrote some non sense anti-establishment manifesto cause I couldnt speak and out of my mind and didnt really know how to act around women. They threw some sort of parade at graduation framed me and my family then certain people came after me for being set up . I dealed with authority and the courts for over 2 years got institutionalized several times. And everyone wantsed to pretend nothing happened but it might have been on tv so I asked some questions. No one got back to me like usual and left me in this floaty intangible place where I just kept getting pissed off. Considering now through possible subliminals I might have won a million dollars if I didnt say anything or if thats imaginary. There are hundreds of houses in my town and if they each got 50,000$ and they have been doing this for 15 years , 15 years of my life I got to sacrifice not choose. So the freemasons and illuminati and young drug addict musicians can laugh at me and make me a laughing stock. Its never going to work out with women and it never really did in the first place. So I just keep coming back here and thanking everyone . I used to be a person just live a normal life as a person. They had to use me for their stupid crazy politics game I just wanted to live a normal life. If no one knew about this and things just ran there course or lived a normal life things would have been better , you know yeah right normal house just like any other if their was some check for having to be truman whole life some limo is gonna drive up and publishers clearing house. This whole thing officially does not exist. Maybe imaginary speculation. Someone told me the proof is in the music . Yeah maybe that can be used as evidence if I ever try writing that book. Its great watching the Meaning of Life by monty python though and other things "She s a witch , burn her burn her, I am not a witch they dressed me like this, well we did do the nose and the hat and the hat." Read in a video game magazine might have been talking about playing rapture olyimpics and "its amazing 5 of a kind cant play yatzee". I hate my life and I cant go outside and deal with people , I have been doing this go in circles with at first "I thought my tv talked to me" but I was young and nieve and didnt understand the system or everything you say you can verbally describe symptoms cause thats how they treat mental illness and misquoted. And have been sitting in groups listening to other people talk for years. For some nonsense retarted letter I scribbled really quick in high school with head injuries and amnesia and forever, I want to be marketed and plastered everywhere so it destroys my life causes my neighbors 3 years of harrassing me and trying to force me to move and has to be a topic of discussion for a decade for no reason, maybe here or there or imaginary. Everyone else has their hand out getting paid and I seem to be doing all the grunt work , great situation. I wish they would just leave me here and its gonna take me 5 or 10 years to move out of their waste a decade for no reason, thanks. Maybe I am a criminal or shouldnt get to live my life even more.

[edit on 1-12-2009 by P. O. W.]

I dont know , just if their was a chance however imaginary it can be to win money might have read too much into something on tv or newspaper or misinteruppeted but if their is anything going on and I have to build a county club get everyone money while they spend 3 years every day trying to drive me crazy and force me out of neighborhood. I wish I never had to do this and couldve just lived my life with my family , then nerves for 8 years cause of some stupid childish musicians , yeah man great. Now I cant have children wasted my life away and have spent last 3 years in a nightmare, you want any more ideas man or was this just on the radar for some reason or reading too much into everything. Sorry, I just had to clear that up and all day today.

I am sorry , I saw this commercial that was at a wedding and they said the singles can sit at the childs table. And I used to get made fun of a lot and sometimes infuriating. I am sorry if some thing s fit in a pattern and some dont , drop all the rest. I dont really know whats going on usually and I dont relly know anything about religion. The other day I played a song for my neighbors from system of a down, I want you to see from behind those walls that you killed my family in the video these kids are playing war games in a ball pit and showing a guy in the military having a servicemens burial. I am gonna have to run from this all my life , and everyone around me is like that movie Fallen with denzel washington everyone keep changing into same person talking to him. I am sorry for causing prob lems I wont post no more. This is embarressing, (sigh) it was fun talking with all the adults and I dont usually do that online and considering conspiracies. The musicians I grew up listening to might not be the most responsible people or be voice of a generation or rebellious?

Serge Tankian has this other video where he is doing brush strokes with his hands, throws a brick threw a window and it says "Civilization is Over" in clouds in the sky. I might have done something that resembled throwing a brick in a window in 05 , angry at the system. I know everyone has problems, I have just been isolated and going thru hazing for awhile and its like as a kid thinking about girls forever and now cant have a family going nowhere and just crush my dreams why dont you for no reason or some massive conspiracy or schizophrenia. Just a shell of a person. Sorry I didnt mean to be like a cancer out of my mind or descent into madness after 8 years I am sorry.

[edit on 2-12-2009 by P. O. W.]

[edit on 2-12-2009 by P. O. W.]

I am sorry everything I do is wrong or comes out wrong or everything I say. Everybody hates me everybody around me I am sorry for being out of it. I was talking to my dad today and saying if no body saw me and called the cops would I have died and I am not sure whats real or dillusional. And thinking of Saw "I want to play a game, I never killed anyone I always gave them a chance to escape" and the Cell 2 where this serial killer would keep killing people and reviving them like 6 times and one girl got away and at the end he was in her head saying I am going to take away all your memories except right before you die in pain and her first birthday senior prom and he sad he studied freud and read about the mind light and dark and subconcoius and she liked the dark and he was afraid of it and she trapped him in the dark. I am sorry I shoulod have never came to this site and made a spectacle of myself and a lot of people around me know things about me. Maybe this happened on purpose cause of songs on a CD. Today after a bus refused to pick me up I waited for the next one and saw written in the cement "Rob Price is gayd". Thought of whatever real people are doing and artist or musicians or TV people. I am sorry, had a massive head injury dont know whats going on. Tool Aenima 96 "hooker with a penis" and "aenima" -I had a dream about the end of the world.

OK I woke up in the hospital in a bed unable to talk with my right side of my body paralyzed in a wheelchair then crutches learning how to walk and talk again. With less than 2 months left in high school I was pissed off frustrated examining my problems and questioning things and was strung out and tired thought I was causing problems for women. After high school I went on with my life till I got sent to instititution , if people want to come after me for something I didnt do and trivial pursuit in music their business while destroying my life you know great. After my neighbors trying to covertly force me out of the neighborhood after maybe getting money cause they dont like watching mtv or think I am a columbiner pisses me off. Stupid high school mentality youre a loser or youre gay , great I dont care , destroyed my life. I have rights and I am really F in tired of pointless things I have to do for no reason, go deep undercover and pretend everything is imaginary. I dont know I used to try to build a map cause I thought everyone was lying to me cause they thought I was retarted, I havent watched mtv in 4 years and I really dont care I am not leaving my house and family, they left breadcrumbs all around and I will build a case. I will not come back to do this again post I am trying to stop I know no one wanted to hear this or whatever.

I am sorry for anyone I know in real life for coming online and doing this and frailing out of control. My neighbors make fun of me a lot and I am critizied everywhere I go. I had all mental problems over the years considering what might be going on I am just sorry. Some of the music I used to listen to was just strange, I tried to avoid it and hoped it would go away if anything was real. I had hyperventilating problems avoided people and didnt want to go anywhere. I am sorry I know I might have caused a big problem in other peoples lives. And just tryied to destroy myself or get to what happened to prove I wasnt special or anything, I am just really sorry.

You know I have been a problem to all the people I know spiralling out of control and my head has been all messed up. My neighbors call me evil the devil so tired and exhausted make fun of me and protest outside of my house. Any spy equipment on credit cards ? Any clues on your hard drive or AOL account that can be confisicated? Any records of seeing a private psychiatrist? Mental illness might deminish my credibility but I still have freedom of speech and rights. Tear my life apart or make me look like a fool in front of anyone I used to know, I dont care whats on mtv ideas or concepts or art something beautiful , So strug out and tired frailing around and messing up here I am never going to live this down, and yesterday "what makes him think he can stay here , with us". I dont know what makes them think I gotta leave , already cleared my name, at great expense, I dont know I am strung out and tired and sorry.
[edit on 4-12-2009 by P. O. W.]

[edit on 4-12-2009 by P. O. W.]

I am sorry about my train of thought while posting, or my demeaner I think. Today heard "get out of our town " "sniveling weakling" or the gay trying to walk around town getting white castle. I didnt want to exist outside this alias if practicully everyone knows who I am or recognizes me when I go outside. I guess trying to fight injustice and after high school what turned into about the only thing I have done since and go in circles. I was never mentally ill to begin with , the drugs make me sick cause I already have brain damage and nervous system damage and a lot of people have been making fun of me certain places or what I assumed on mtv. When I was still a juvenile delinquint of sorts after court order ended with cops and case workers and therapist and psych doctors I was pissed off wanted to get out of this , maybe pardon or make them stop if it was real on tv cause I could get killed over this. I was trying to get out of things after tremendous backlash here and personally all around me when I kept apologizing and whatever maybe freemasons may be doing trying to make money if it was really disgraceful or whatever , I was just speculating. I have to try to disappear 2 or 3 years probably before I could get work or move and start over. In my personal life it is endlessly ridiculous to the stuff I have to deal with or maybe being connected , left behind or head injuries or all my life for awhile having to go back and forth with being mentally healthy and causing problems for a lot of people and havent been able to move on with my life. I have been strung out exhausted and delirious cause my neighbors are a pain just out of touch with reality but has left my real life or so called real life in shambles just like a cancer to the those around me cause of whatever they want to dance around on stage or say in their lyrics (maybe). Going into late twenties of a sort of no future or last 8 years going in phases of mental problems or nervous breakdowns or physically self destructive spirals or trying to deal with everyone elses perspective like---why did we do this?

Are you taking Haldol by any chance?
I mean I used to have it prescribed, so....

Also head injuries take time to heal with therapy and good vitamins.
I think its an inch of nerve repair a year.

I am not taking it now I used to be forced on A.ssisted O.utpatient T.reatment when I was taking like 75% or 85% of the meds cause they made me sick and told a doctor then ordered to go to 2 month institutionalization to go to court and over 2 years with the court order and mandated stuff by the state or I wouldnt be allowed out - patient , montly injections therapy, program , a case worker , therapists , drug tests , psychiatrists , and the police. I am sorry about my rantings just venting I guess, there are some people who might now what I am talking about or rage against the machine I guess, I was just misguided in the past and trying to get out of stuff.

I am sorry I frail around out of control talking about concepts or emotions or feelings I get when I watch certain movies or songs , just maybe nostalgia or dejavu . Now I wish I didnt say anything ever on online in the past and just tryied to focus on my life. I tried to speculate or make a map of what might be going on and lost touch with what was important. Didnt really live my everyday life with my family or career outside , I kept considering horrendous possibilities of how everyone hates me or something terrible was going on. I have just maybe instinct s or intution or just feelings I get of paranoia or uncertainty. I didnt really try to become trained or knowledgeable in several subjects, just would stay in some circles or vegetating and I didnt trust what was presented to me . A little like "I know why you live alone, spent all your time on the computer, youre looking for him, did you ever feel something just wasnt right with the world, something that got under your skin kept pulling at you, you dont know what it is but you have always felt it". In my life something like that would be alienation from society or humanity or considering something is going on when everyone around you tells you it s not. I am sorry for spiraling out and being disgraceful at times, sometimes talking about peoples ideas or concepts or work sort of nievely and from my point of view been very disgraceful or been a negativity source towards a lot of great and beautiful things you know in America. Or culture or pop culture just destroyed myself was sort of really out of it at times posting , head was swimming and I couldve carelessly made a mockery of myself. I am sorry I was trying to just add stuff at night sometimjes or stay off radar and I figured some local people might follow me writings and just apologize or try to explain what I meant, I dont realize at times what it must be like subjecting this on society. Just frustrated or angry at the way my life might have turned out being mocked by people I used to go to high school with who were trying to say I couldnt live in my house anymore. When I had my head injury in the first few weeks or months I could look back and feel like my head was repairing itself in being able to grasp things or awareness and the first year I think thing s were going OK. Thank you for your concern or taking an interest in my train wreck of a story.

What you're saying reminded me of a quote from Lamentations 1:20,

"See,O Lord,how distressed I am! I am in torment within,and in my heart I am disturbed,for I have been most rebellious. Outside,the sword bereaves; inside,there is only death."

On a lighter note... It also reminded me of this: "One man's Schizophrenia is is another man's Enlightenment"!

It sounds to me like you're searching for peace in a maddening world. You want forgiveness. You want understanding.

I think you know where to find it,because you already alluded to devoting your life to searching and studying it more!

I wish you well.

Thank you for your kind words. I will write them down to better remember. Today I went to go get dinner and heard in the backround ohh britney and the hot tub.. em I need more singles .. and this guy might have said Iraq out of context on the line or connected to something I didnt hear. Its like this everywhere I go. I assumed years ago if there were any reprocutions like columbiner if people found out about it somehow it would go away if they kept making fun of me or calling me gay. Sometimes its like what more do you want from me I almost died handicapped might have been taken advantage of by the "in crowd" and then got to deal with authority and mental illness and they still might be coming after me or going for the jugular. I dont want to listen to the eminem cd and jump to conclusions , by the way their is no real proof anywhere just some young musicians writing songs for mtv ideas or concepts, saying all gay or cross dresser and after wasting 10 years on house arrest or institutions just saying can you please cease and desist you know my life isnt his property or business. I made a britney reference before about the blonde thing or virgin in high school or 18. I was set up for the copycat and already served my debt to society or whatever, I got framed. I am sorry if it might have caused problems for people who make music or the rest of the normal people , music is a beautiful thing just sometimes like what the he--.
I am sorry for continued posting I know I was really out of it made such a mess or embarrassment of myself just sometimes feel like a nervous breakdown or anxiety through the roof. I heard this girl blast christmas music while I was waiting for a bus and people here and there being upset about neo or one or religion , and I am just sorry just sorry really strung out my neighbors were bothering me for over a year with surveilance and acting like a haunted house before I came to this site. I just wish I could go back to normal life with my family , I have been such a problem for them almost a decade going in and out of the system.

[edit on 6-12-2009 by P. O. W.]

On a last note I just wanted to apologize for sometimes being out of line or spiraling out my neighbors game is exhausting sometimes. Its just frustrateing like they stole my life or something looking back if it could of been seen cause of messed up politics or covertly planned and covered up massive head injury and amnesia. They came after me after high school and I am not really mentally ill, no investigation nothing they lost an hour ceremony someone else messed up and I got a lifetime in the system or over 2 years court order, which turned into going in circles 8 years. Then I asked please can someone tell me whats going on and nothing, put on knew really powerful head drug then my neighbors start marching 2 years later and I was rebelling against no rights or injustice in institutions and now late twenties this will be over and nothings left. I know everyone has problems , but I just get frustrated why did this have to happen to me. I used to move around a lot single mother and homeless living in a car then rented out this lady s basement for 3 1/2 years and longest stayed in one place before 9th grade got left back from generation or missing social skills or whatever. I am sorry for spiraling out all over the place in the past and anything maybe taken out of context. I dont know maybe try to disappear or wait for things to blow over and try to survive, still really appreciate to be alive and try to just fade away and go back to normal. I am sorry for causing any problems or leading to any while I was here.

[edit on 9-12-2009 by P. O. W.]

OK this will be the last post. I dont know sort of got caught up in this if people blame me for ruining music and maybe I shouldnt of been exploited if anything is real but on the broader scale. Today someone might have said celebrites in the front or something I dont know. And if people are angry with me or know who I am or recognize me , I didnt do anything just got caught up in whatever everybody else is doing. I dont even remember all of my previous posts I know sometimes floaty or strung out and tired not thinking clearly. I dont know sort of caused problems for me and a lot of people I know, sort of strategically destroyed my life for several different ways , I wont get into that over again. My neighbors are still being a pain and they refuse to stop they think all this wasted time will eventually lead to primary objective. Broken down and a cancer to everybody around me and why did we even do this again. I dont know I am sorry dont think how this might be read or if anyone would read it just sorry for all this.

You know, I am sorry, I havent been to church in 15 or so years I might have nievely talked about it. My neighbor used to say evil or the devil and I found out last summer what a scratch on inside of wrist or head injury could be reference to. I was barely 13 had 3 strokes and right side of body paralyzed, and my parents were told I gave an oral presentation of being gay and gang molested . In twelveth grade I never had a girlfriend and had panic or anxiety/guilt trips cause of an unability to communicate with women and things spiraling out of control and couldnt sleep. I was framed by this football player who put a gun in a trash can and have had mental problems ever since and the first time I was in a hospital a ancor from CNN was there said "I know more about you than you do" and later found out he told everyone in the hospital I was a satanist. I had 3 sequences of time where I contemplated suicide one about 5 times. I tried to get information and get out of whatever happened if it was on TV news or if someone got hurt. No one got back to me and I avoided people to try to stay in my house playing video games or drawing pictures and block out if anything was going on(stop watching tv). My neighbors I think left a sound gun on 24 hours a day I think since April 2007 trying to push me off the edge of sanity and relocate me out of town. They would say things like retart, baby, faggot, girl , hermaphrodite, make monkey sounds , say just leave, we hate you, die and that about sums it up. After 14 months I came here cause I never was crazy and just needed to try to talk to someone who might hear me out. After 16 months I woke up with a big purple bruise on my arm and passing out at night and I think I am sterile, they put me in psych when I took an ambulance to the hospital. I tried ratting out Mabus the other day to mental health officials and saying , I used to be in hospital I had a scratch on my hand these kids didnt like me in high school and caused problems for me and my family then I went online tried to call the whole thing off or admit innocence and I dont know if she thinks its the apocolapse or revelations but she destroyed my life and is really annoying. When I found out what happened when I was 13 people said "is he the last one? and are you KISS knights in satanic service. I didnt know what to think read some of revelations couldnt really understand it but thought some things might be code. Never read most of the bible I can understand comics and movies sometimes my mom has to explain who certain people are. I was strung out exhausted and bothered by neighbors maybe a little delirious , I might have taken certain passages out of context or looked for patterns that arent there, a near slain goat with a head injury will be the only one to see the way. I couldnt really understand most of how it is written and listened to stange things in music and my head was a mess. When my neighbors call me satan or the devil or evil sometimes I want to make the face Elaine made from Seinfeld with fingers like horns and sticking tongue out. I am just a kid who hit his head in the hospital talk about maybe opening pandoras box. They bother me for about 2 2/3 years know still trying to acheive primary objective and they are just a bunch of stupid kids from high school younger than me. Princess Mabus maybe you should read about ethical or moral rights or human rights or even rights animals or robots have. And stop watching MTV you obviously have some sort of problem with that possibly "psychiatric"? You think?
False rapture angels by satan, fake friends have will to allow bs to reach mind of satan, bit by bit whole by whole , remember that thread you titled to Mr. Legion?
I have nothing against religion, I dont know that much about it, pieces I am sorry everybody hates me ,a lot of people. I am sorry for not writing appropriately.
[edit on 11-12-2009 by P. O. W.]

[edit on 11-12-2009 by P. O. W.]

[edit on 11-12-2009 by P. O. W.]

I wanted to write something that I was thinking of and knew I shouldnt of sent it to her: it might fit into cycle of self destruction through NWO or freemasons or illuminati imaginary politics:

I guess it doesnt matter if I live or die anymore , everyday will be exactly the same stuck in solitary or pacing aimlessly for little purpose outside, I want to be alive but the circles are always the same, persecuted for talking delirious child-like mind if anyone stopped those against me wouldve changed the time space continueum, whats it been over 5 years or more since you really kissed a woman felt soft tender lips, HA HA never again, get pissed off show them your cancer , middle finger raised and cursing, you need foundation for stucture not broken pieces , need to be on a path, not in darkness, run and hide disappear, run and hide disappear, double life takes its toll madness consumes you, surrounded surrounded - do we look like the enemy to you, intangible unfightable ungraspable unfathomable shadowy conspiracies, left you broken down should of never have come here to rat out neighbors, nothing left nowhere to go nothing to do job career purpose to go outside not annonamous anyway carnival sideshow the phantom of the opera, tell them about the circles circles of life of death of love of hate, say you never wanted any of this and couldnt help things spiraling out of control couldnt keep up with the tide being swept away with impossible, probably last chance ever let it drift away and keep fumbling going to be a fun maybe 40 years after get out, get out of trapped get out of the place where you were put, tell her there is just life all kinds of life and she is beautiful and had to get out of terrible position you put her, daily waste of time what are you gonna regret all your life, get paralyzed handicap hijacked try to keep sanity, when you ask yourself what really matters or what done with your life what are you going to say, ruined something beautiful someones art gift of all humanity or poetry and just get angry and throw a brick through a wall , rebell revolt, no longer part of society never were, lone sickly wolf, this is were you stay, impossibilities all my life 1 in 300,000,000 , tell her whatever it is that is bothering her she shouldnt let it get to her, there is just life help one another just supposed to be normalcy life everyday life, tell her she shouldnt over-analyze the timeline of events the map and how everything fell apart, tell her just 2 fish swimming in a fishbowl or something Pink Floyd (-the guy with schizophrenia)I think, tell her the changing of emotions and the recollection, tell her she doesnt have to call your phone sarcasticly with energy or lightness or prettyness stay in frustration or laughter, tell her she is beautiful and deserves better and sorry for bothering her. Been detacted from the real life that was left behind so many years ago and no way back and caused problems on different levels for people with the "conspiracies".