It is my hope that the psychological specialists in the membership will check this one out, or anyone who can relate.

When I was quite young (Elementary School) I attended, at the behest of my Father, what was described to me as a university study. I with my family went to a location somewhere in Houston Texas where this study was conducted and my father told me that the family was being compensated for our participation. The two things I "most" remember involved a mock argument in which I had brought home a failing grade on my report card and we were supposed to as a family feign a huge argument over the grade. We did not do well - we kept laughing. I think we had one good 2 minute argument but mainly just laughed alot. My household was generally a happy one. The experiment which I remember most however involved me by myself. Mom and Dad might have done it separately I do not remember. This experiment involved a comfortable dentist type chair, a dark room - very hot -, a bucket of ice in which I placed my right hand, headphones playing rock music - very loud -, a large video screen projecting quickly changing images and if memory serves a button to push when I saw the color red. This went on for many weeks at least, perhaps a couple of times a week. And that was that.

Is any of the followig related - you tell me. Details aside. I ended up in a military mental facility about 4 years into my service. I was there about a week. We had daily meetings in which everyone was telling how they were doing. We also had personal meetings with military psychologists in which we shared more deeply how things were going. I - at the time - felt as though I was evil (suprised I got out in a week) I felt as though I was meant to do great evil. what was their answer to this. They had me meet with the regional head of psychology later that day and get this "He asked me if i had ever considered working for the CIA - specifically in "wetworks" (I swear its true). When I was discharged (honorably) I was told specifically that no organization would ever obtain information relating to my past condition (again I swear its true).

I worked in Protective Services for the Federal Reserve Bank (I guess he was right about my past) After my divorce I went into cable install and was recruited by Blackwater (again no mention of my past) for the Katrina Op in which I made a lot of money. I worked in leadership for every contractor regarding security of the FEMA parks and then went into executive protection travelling the country. In the midst of all of this I confided in my colleague regarding "America Freedom to Fascism" He "feigned interest and agreed to check it out. When in private he identified himself as a grandson of Woodrow Wilson and stated that he was aware of my past actions and "That when the time came I would instinctively do that which I had been trained to do" - creepy. The last EP job I took I was approached about manhandling the public - I told them to take a leap. they stated that if things got out of hand that countermeasures could be utilized on the public. I had been in this field my entire adult life of course I knew about available countermeasures my argument was why in Gods name would you want to provoke their use. So I quit, was out of work for six months and now operate a front end loader - happily making a paltry $12,000 this year as opposed to the hundreds of thousands made in the "biz". At least I have my soul.

So sorry for rambling but suddenly my life seemed pretty curious to me. Oh and for whats its worth my Grandfather was a member of the American Socialist party (American Nazi) My mother never let me meet him. Thats the highlights any analysis appreciated - maybe I'm just another messed up pup.

Perhaps you need to sit down with your parents and have a very long discussion. Maybe they know more than you know about, concerning your past.

For some reason, this reminds me of, "A Clockwork Orange."

When you were told you were meant for great evil, what does that mean to you? Are you supposed to be mean to puppies and kittens, or what?

How are your personal relationships with people?

Are you filled with bouts of rage? Do you want to shoot people in traffic jams?

I don't quite get what you are asking here.

Starred and flagged.

I find your story very interesting, what excactly were they subliminally showing you or planting in your head during that test? You said your household was generally a happy one? Well I believe will is stronger than anything anyone can put in your head. I'm definitely no expert in this field but you also said your parents got paid for this. So I guess if I were you I would investigate into what this test was all about back then. You know more details as to where and when so I imagine you might be able to get more info on it. BUT thank you for sharing and good luck, that is some interesting story you have there, and I think there's something to it. Nobody is evil for no reason I believe, unless thier will is not strong enough to overcome. Hope to hear more man.

This experiment involved a comfortable dentist type chair, a dark room - very hot -, a bucket of ice in which I placed my right hand, headphones playing rock music - very loud -, a large video screen projecting quickly changing images and if memory serves a button to push when I saw the color red.

They provided comfort in the form of ice and a chair, but everything else were stressors, and most likely used to gauge how often you pressed the button when you saw the color red. Why did you place your right hand in the ice? Did you listen to the music?

Details aside. I ended up in a military mental facility about 4 years into my service.

You just don't end up in a military mental facility. Were you suicidal, did you make threats? I mean it's hard to tell where this is going when you're vague in this area. I understand this ordeal may be personal, but you posted it, and I'm asking because more info may shed light on the subject.

We had daily meetings in which everyone was telling how they were doing. We also had personal meetings with military psychologists in which we shared more deeply how things were going. I - at the time - felt as though I was evil (suprised I got out in a week) I felt as though I was meant to do great evil. what was their answer to this.

There are many branches of psychology, what were their fields of expertise? Also, what did they tell you about yourself? Did they perform any studies/questionaires within the short time you saw them?

They had me meet with the regional head of psychology later that day and get this "He asked me if i had ever considered working for the CIA - specifically in "wetworks" (I swear its true). When I was discharged (honorably) I was told specifically that no organization would ever obtain information relating to my past condition (again I swear its true).

What is this past condition and how exactly was it treated? Also, what brance of psych did he specialize in?

I worked in Protective Services for the Federal Reserve Bank (I guess he was right about my past) After my divorce I went into cable install and was recruited by Blackwater (again no mention of my past) for the Katrina Op in which I made a lot of money.

How were you recruited by Blackwater? Did they contact you out of the blue, or did you contact them because you heard about a job offering?

In the midst of all of this I confided in my colleague regarding "America Freedom to Fascism" He "feigned interest and agreed to check it out. When in private he identified himself as a grandson of Woodrow Wilson and stated that he was aware of my past actions and "That when the time came I would instinctively do that which I had been trained to do" - creepy.

Did he tell you how the revelation that he was the grandson of WW important? Did he say why he had to reveal this information in private? Moreover, did he provide details about your past actions, and did he tell you what he meant by "the time" and what you were "trained to do"?

Ultimately, you're asking "Am I a sleeper or am I capable of doing great destruction?" I don't know, but what type of treatment are you currently recieving?

not to sound wierd, but i had a similar experience.

my parents and i moved to council grove kansas when i was in the second grade. i attended school there in a normal environment, but i also did what my mom and dad said was "home study".

we drove a short'ish distance to an army base there and i was taken in to a metal building... inside i took a test, i remember it was timed and that i had finished early because my dad got mad at me for not taking my time. after that we went back a little later and i can remember setting in a room while a man in office dress talked to my parents but i couldnt over hear what was being said. then i started going every so often to this building, i had what i know now to be physicals, i too had the chair with the screen, but i dont recall a button. there were several tests that were similar to hearing tests (where you set in a booth with head phones and a thing in each hand and push the button when the sounds go off in your ear). after the end of the school year, maybe a month or so, it was a long time ago (1987) i went in for a final timed test. after that we moved back to arkansas and i never heard about it again...

funny thing is i havent thought about all that happening until i just read this thread. odd how much we forget as a child.

what the hell did you quit for? now you got no money and you got no chance to be on the winning team. who cares about if you feel its right or wrong. that just shows you do not see the big picture. theres alot going on in the world we are never taught.

its part of growing as a species to take control of the natural order of things and doing your way for awhile.

nature has a way of maintaining itself in harmony with its surrounding for as long as time keeps going. some entities do not agree with this and take over the natural ways and make it the way they want it to turn out.

Do you have any immediate, emotional reactions to the color red? Or anything else (the music played, being to hot, etc). Alternatively, it could have simply been some sort of concentration test. Make you miserable (giving your body contrary heat cues), blaring music, etc, to see if you could still pick out the color when seen.

As for doing what you are trained to do, could he have been referring to your armed forces training and assumed oath to the country? Just a thought.

Along the lines of deliberate conditioning, you might find the Derren Brown special "the Heist" (avail. by torrent and youtube). I won't give away the ending, but given your concerns, you might find it interesting. Compare his methods to your memories, you might find something there...

First and foremost, I apologize for hi-jacking this thread, however, I feel that I am in dire need of help. I am unable to start a thread due to my low post count, unfortunately. Again, my apologies. I posted this thread ( what you're about to read ) earlier on a spiritual forum, but to my avail, haven't received any answers as of yet. I truly feel like something is trying to " blast " out of my third eye. The power is so immense and, at times, very uncomfortable. I almost feel like I'm going insane ( and, to be clear, I have no family history ( that I am aware of ) of mental illness of any sort ). I thank you for your time.


( I apologize if this is posted in the place. Perhaps it could be moved, Mods ? )


" Hello. As the title of this thread states, I TRULY am honored to be here. I don't know any of you ... but I love you all. And I really mean that.

I have something of importance that I'd like to share with all of you ... something that's been bothering me for a couple of weeks now. Perhaps ( it is my hope, anyways ) you can help me. I've never meditated before ... up until a couple of weeks ago. Let's begin. As I was meditating ( not knowing much about it other than to listen to the " silence " ) I heard, what seemed to be, very high pitched noises coming from inside my head. Now, I should state that I hear these noises all the time, but not at the volume it was coming in at. Anyways, about 5 minutes into this meditation the noises start to get louder ... and louder. I feel myself being drawn to them as a matter of fact. A couple more minutes pass then I start to feel vibrations ! This is when I stop and call it a day ! LOL ! Freaked me out !


The second time I meditated ( roughly a few days later ) I felt the same thing ( again, about 5 minutes into it ) accompanied, this time, by a sense of " pulling out of myself ". I felt as if something ( and I feel it now as I'm typing ) is trying to pull out of my head. I've never felt this before. And this is where I am in need of help. Ever since I meditated the 2nd time I've felt ( almost everyday ) extreme pressure on my 3rd eye as well as my crown. Sometimes it feels as if there is ants walking around on my brain, to put it lightly. Again, as I type this I feel it. I also feel very joyous ... very, very happy ( which is somewhat rare for me ... not to say that I am an agree person ). I have felt at times in the last two weeks when in conversation with my co-workers as if I'm not really there ... that I'm looking at them outside of my body. That I am observing myself observing them ? The other day someone had made fun of the fact that I blink so much ( something I've been doing since I was a child ) and I just let it go one ear out the other. Something I've never been able to do ! It's hard to describe ( and I apologize if this post is all over the place ... writing is not one of my talents ) but my mind feels empty almost ... I feel like a child again. I have no judgements whatsoever. I feel completely oblivous as to what's going on around me ... I wish I could put it into words. There are no thoughts in my head at times ... sometimes I feel as if everything is alien, if this makes sense. I don't really feel like I exist in the " here and now ". I am deeply, deeply sorry for all the confusion. I saw a psychic once a few years back ( something that was strongly suggested by quite a few people I worked with at the time due to their experiences with him ) and I'll never forget what he said. He said, " Don't let this go to your head, but in all my years of meeting people I've never met anyone like you before. You have a very strange energy. " Now, I'm not sharing this with you to say, " Wow, I must be special ! " What he said scared me ... what I'm sharing with you right now is scaring me. I don't know what to think as I've never experienced these type of " sensations " before ... I don't know. I'm still functioning though it seems. Do any of you have any ideas ?


And, again, I apologize for the way this was typed ( spelling, grammar, etc. ). I speak much better than I can write ! LOL ! Love you all and have a great rest of the week and weekend. "


- James

wooooowwww...
leaving all that mess was your greatest decision ....i think they used you real bad...i know some will say you shouldn't left all that but that was a great decision,a little late but still...
i wonder is there a chance they will contact you again???

hope somebody explain you everything one day.....

Originally posted by DeathTribble
Do you have any immediate, emotional reactions to the color red? Or anything else (the music played, being to hot, etc). Alternatively, it could have simply been some sort of concentration test. Make you miserable (giving your body contrary heat cues), blaring music, etc, to see if you could still pick out the color when seen.

As for doing what you are trained to do, could he have been referring to your armed forces training and assumed oath to the country? Just a thought.

Along the lines of deliberate conditioning, you might find the Derren Brown special "the Heist" (avail. by torrent and youtube). I won't give away the ending, but given your concerns, you might find it interesting. Compare his methods to your memories, you might find something there...

I finally got to see "The Heist". what can I say other than thanks. It was fascinating. It was mind blowing to see 3 people conditioned to a point of being mild mannered business people to being capable of conducting an armed robbery. The part that really stuck with me was the electroshock experiment - creepy. So thanks again it was very cool and it really shows just how plausible extreme mind manipulation is. Lets here it for free will. Guard you minds people.