3 Months to Live.

I'm going to manipulate the context of this thread, so it cannot be related to a 'wondering person' whom I may be speaking of, or for non identifiable reasons.

I'm just going to put this out there, and see what comes back.

Personally speaking this is you...

You've met a person.

Their fundamental foundations, their core, and their being, isn't but shaken, it is broken.

They, are in a constant mental anguish.

Their family, is deceased, or absent in their life.

They were just diagnosed, with terminal cancer, they only have three months left to live.

They aren't bed ridden, but can go out.

Chemo- yes.

Pain- Extreme.

Friends- None.

The constant acknowledgment of death, creeping closer, by each day, each hour, each minute, each second, and each moment.

Now you've met...

Under, extreme coincidental circumstances (everything, fit like a puzzle coincidentally)

Now, say you've felt the enormous feeling to help, or make that person have the greatest last days of their life.

Since there is no one else.

Now what would you want the last, three months of your life to be like?

And what would you do for a person, a near mere stranger who had three months to live?

More so, if you were to be pronounced dead in three months.

And you were in the situation announced above, what would your ideal last three months be like.

Saying said duties could only come from a near mere stranger, with ambition.

Great question, as usual Republican. S&F for making me really think about something this evening.

S&F for ya. although, I cant answer yet, because its going to take a little more time. Will get back to ya later on this.

g.

reply to post by Republican08


Strange you came up with this topic.

I might be facing this reality with my partner, ill find out very shortly and I dont know how I will cope with it if the news is bad.

I knew I was going to be tested at some point and I have a bad feeling it might just happen.

I hope im wrong.

As for what would I do?

Im still thinking about this one.

I would have a lot of anger in me to be honest if I get bad news, I think anyone would but I know that is not the answer. You know my beliefs of course.

I honestly dont know how I could cope with my life being ripped apart like this.

Does anyone really?



Edit to add: Your a pain in my butt Republican
Really got me borderline upset with this topic dont mean that in a bad way but in a perspective way.

In a way part of me would probably sell everything I have to take her around the world if possible and make everyday an adventure.
The rational side of me says it might not work like that however.

[edit on 6-10-2009 by XXXN3O]

Originally posted by grantbeed
Great question, as usual Republican. S&F for making me really think about something this evening.

S&F for ya. although, I cant answer yet, because its going to take a little more time. Will get back to ya later on this.

g.

Glad you'll give it thought, it's pretty real to me....

I would really like to know your take of an answer on it.

Thanks for the appreciation.

reply to post by XXXN3O


I but merely met this said person.

And have spent about the whole day, ManCrying.

A manly form of crying.

Very manly....

It's tough, and there is a need to take something and fix it.

Also read U2U....

I dunno. At the moment I couldn't really care about living so I'd probably just count down the 3 months and happily depart onto another world.

Originally posted by Whine Flu
I dunno. At the moment I couldn't really care about living so I'd probably just count down the 3 months and happily depart onto another world.

Hey!

Cheer up chief, hang in there, things will get better.



Hope that gives you a bit more fight to go on.



[edit on 6-10-2009 by XXXN3O]

very interesting question , as I've had to ask the question more often than one would ever wish to.
In 2007 my brain tumor returned as the most aggressive form. My parents were told I only had month's to live. At the time I was planning funerals and writing my will, even though I knew deep down I was gonna live longer.

All I wanted was to be with those closest to me. Friends and family. Now seeing as your friend has little in the way of Family and friends, you need to find out what's important in their life.

I love spending days by the sea, even if its cold. I love being in the countryside. All possible external stresses need to be removed.
3 month's can go very quickly so make sure you don't waist any time on trivialities.

Republican08 this is going to be a balancing act. if your friend is on chemo and in pain, there are certain things your not going to be able to do. we have a charity here in the UK that provides experiences for terminally ill people. I took my family whale watching in Scotland, or you can organise to go to a football game and meet the players. go for a flight in a glider. basically they do their best to make sure you have an amazing day

Maybe you have similar charities that you could take advantage of. If your going to help your going to need to be the proactive one and sort all these things out.

It would be an amazing thing for you to do! 3 months is a short time,but you can cram some real joy and happiness in there. just imagine how important that will be for your friend.

Originally posted by Whine Flu
I dunno. At the moment I couldn't really care about living so I'd probably just count down the 3 months and happily depart onto another world.

I honestly don't believe that, sorry.

Even as a atheist, I fear death. I don't want to, not be.

And for christians, all they have is hope, but still they Don't want to die.

No one wants to die, albeit we, including myself have tried suicide.

But dying from a cause other then your own terms, is a whole nother obstacle.

I don't think, you could honestly spend 3 months, day for day, hour for hour, and be happy death was coming.

That as far as was known, was you'd miss out on everything.

The thoughts, would be a burden I wouldn't wish on my worst enemies.

reply to post by Republican08


Oh yeah, for sure, it'd be difficult. Sitting around waiting to die would be painful for sure. I'd rather go through it than have to put up with watching it happen to someone else. I'm just sayin', it's sickening spending day in day out with the feeling of burden. An uneasy feeling that never leaves. Just saying that at least I'd know that I have a time span to know when I can be rid of said burden.

As an atheist, I'd kinda expect you to fear death. It makes sense. I just think that we go on afterward so everything'll be fine. Just as long as you believe.

reply to post by woodwardjnr


That's kind of what all my priorities have turned to.

All these little things I've thought about, and obsessed over.

Like girls, strength, chugging abilities, friend problems, law problems.

Have all disappeared....

I immediately, felt but for a moment, what their shoes were like, and cringed in horror, (no offense).

I decided to quit smoking because of it, it's an atrocity for me to smoke a cigarette, while watching someone die from lung cancer....

An atrocity, and an insult.

I figure the more I know of said person, the more I can do, not worry about the little things. But worry only about happiness.

Make them live the last moments, in a

No one wants to go out

The only way I found out, was through asking the question "How are you?"

And not accepting the usual, 'Fine'.

I just simply through the good will hunting method, got to know a person.

I can't help but wonder, how many people I could've interrogated as well, and come up with similar cries for help.......

reply to post by XXXN3O




I usually prefer my cheese crackers.

Originally posted by Whine Flu
reply to post by Republican08

 

Oh yeah, for sure, it'd be difficult. Sitting around waiting to die would be painful for sure. I'd rather go through it than have to put up with watching it happen to someone else. I'm just sayin', it's sickening spending day in day out with the feeling of burden. An uneasy feeling that never leaves. Just saying that at least I'd know that I have a time span to know when I can be rid of said burden.

As an atheist, I'd kinda expect you to fear death. It makes sense. I just think that we go on afterward so everything'll be fine. Just as long as you believe.

As an atheist, I don't want to die, but i'd suppose if I was anything else, i'd feel a bit of comfort, but would still feel the same way.

No one wants to miss their kids growing up.

or to not see them finally finish that #in highway!

Or to see their brother claim a nobel prize.

I just wonder since we agree, it's a great suffering, what could alleviate it, in any way, what would you do for said person, with limited means.

Originally posted by Whine Flu
reply to post by XXXN3O

 

I usually prefer my cheese crackers.

I prefer vodka, ive just tanned a bottle of it now. Nah joking of course.

Ill stick to some dry cured parma ham.

Mmmm

reply to post by Republican08


well it sounds like your gonna get an experience, that no one really wants in their lives, but the thing is, this is life. it's not all about girls and chugging beer, life throws up so many curve balls and this is one for you. you will learn from this experience, grow and become a better human being as a result. it's gonna be tough, but youve made a commitment now and you should stick with it. Even going to the cinema to watch a funny movie helps your friend for a few hours. there's plenty you can do.

fair play to you my friend, and you an atheist of all people

Originally posted by woodwardjnr
reply to post by Republican08

 

well it sounds like your gonna get an experience, that no one really wants in their lives, but the thing is, this is life. it's not all about girls and chugging beer, life throws up so many curve balls and this is one for you. you will learn from this experience, grow and become a better human being as a result. it's gonna be tough, but youve made a commitment now and you should stick with it. Even going to the cinema to watch a funny movie helps your friend for a few hours. there's plenty you can do.

fair play to you my friend, and you an atheist of all people

Well I strictly believe, if you say something, you live up to it.

Along with friends, friends never go away, once a friend, always a friend, you give your life for them.

I'm big on loyalty.

Don't say anything and not back it up through actions I suppose would be it.

I don't think we ever get what we want in life?

But sometimes, until we have it, is the moment we realize that we do want it.

reply to post by Republican08


For what it’s worth, I would say that if this person can still go out, maybe find out if there is something they have always wanted to do and couldn’t, and see if that is possible to fulfil for them. Or take them for that special meal, film, theatre, outing or just a drive to get them away from it all for a while.
But really what will be more precious is for you to just be there, just to BE with them and allow them to be. For you to hold their fears and hold their pain, literally. For you to be that shoulder, that crutch that holds their spirit up. For you to listen and hear. For you to brush away the tears and make them smile. For you to sit in silence and watch the sun go down with them. For you to be the light as it starts to wane. For you to be the constant in a lonely world. For you to be the one who takes them for chemo and brings them home again. For you to be the one who takes the stress of the practicalities for them. For you to be their strength, their smile, their light, their hope, their comfort and their witness. That will all be priceless and treasured.

Bahhh!

This hits a little too close to home for me. I lost may father to cancer when I was 17 then my mom about 6 years ago to it and then my favorite brother inlaw 2 years ago.

From what I've experienced first hand about them was once they reached a certain point they accepted their fate and they were at peace with themselves and others. Nothing bothered them anymore. I wish I could be that serene and at grace everyday but that's just me.

Slay

[edit on 6-10-2009 by SLAYER69]

reply to post by oneclickaway


That sounds really well.

I just assume it should be something fantastically amazing!

Maybe it's just all about, someone just being there, just being someone to talk to, rely on, call at 4 am, saying 'hey im scared'.....

Maybe its just that.

Originally posted by SLAYER69
Bahhh!

This hits a little too close to home for me. I lost may father to cancer when I was 17 then my mom about 6 years ago to it and then my favorite brother inlaw 2 years ago.

From what I've experienced first hand about them was once they reached a certain point they accepted their fate and they were at peace with themselves and others. Nothing bothered them anymore. I wish I could be that serene and at grace everyday but that's just me.

Slay

[edit on 6-10-2009 by SLAYER69]

Back to the subject though.

If it's not to close.

What do you think they'd like to experience in their last days, and moments.

What would bring them the most joy, according to the OP guidelines, as it is.

Because in all honesty....

This, that I'm speaking of, ISN'T A LOST CAUSE.

He/She is still breathing, and speaking, and more importantly, is reaching out, acknowledging that they are truly afraid.

THERE IS NO COMFORT FOR THEM!!!!

I will stress that, as I have seen it first hand.

Said person is still alive, and reachable, and a fairly nice timing, disregarding the disease.

I want to be sure, that I can make life, the best possible one.

Then again, I must realize, how I can change my life, because my timeline says unknown, which can possibly mean tomorrow.

Extensions are plausible, tomorrow, isn't.

Just like to know, what would make those last few months, the greatest of all