Me again

I've written about this before but now through my own personal research and studies I have more information about what's going on. Please feel free to comment with whatever but I would prefer more constuctive help than just critizism. Thank you for your time.

Look, this is going to sound kind of stupid or maybe not. This ‘haunting’ or whatever is following me from place to place. I researched my experiences and found what is happening has to do with an Incubus. I’ve sought psychological help and found no explanation. I even tried going to church and reforming my life and nothing happened….actually it got worse. Since I was a child I would see things that no one else would and this never bothered me. I actually felt kind of special. The attacks with in Incubus, (if that’s what it truly is) started after I had been molested when I was 8 or 9. At this time there was never any pain or discomfort just the feeling of a presence and some touching. As I grew older, at about 21, (I’m thirty now) the physical pain came. I can describe it as a squeezing in my stomach that pulsates. It never goes anywhere else. It’s always in the same spot. I’ve had CAT scans, MRI’s and X-ray to look for the cause and found nothing. I’ve been told it’s all in my head. I never feel this during a complete conscious state, only in that space between awake and asleep. I have done somethings to make sure I wasn’t dreaming like, leaving the TV on a recording whatever is on to see if I can remember it and having someone watch me. When I was watched, I was told that my eyes were open and moving and I was wincing in pain. The person who was watching me then said they feel asleep but don’t remember falling asleep. I don’t like talking about the sexual aspect of it cause it’s weird but here goes. It feels like actual intercourse except the…phallus is cold and heavy or hot. I never actually feel a body on me but right before it happens, as I begin to drift off, I feel as if im floating. I know what’s about to happen and try to ‘wake’ myself. This process is very exhausting and I eventually give up. I recite every prayer I can remember over and over but this does little if anything at all. I’m them spun around in a 360 angle a couple of times them rested back on the bed. My heart rate speeds up and I try to talk but no words come out. I’ve ruled out sleep paralysis only because I never have that heavy feeling or the feeling that I can breathe. Also I can move, (at least in my mind I can) and people with this disorder claim they cannot. Anyway, the more I pray the more severe the squeezing gets…it’s quite painful and would send me to the ER had I been ‘awake’. I believe there are two entities visiting me, one more evil and dangerous than the other. The one that causes me pain only causes me pain and tries to scare me. The other is the one who has ‘sex’ with me and besides the act itself there is no pain. This one actually communicates through telepathy at times. The other never speaks.



This is a long story so let me point out some important facts that I’ve found:



1. If I have sex, I’m not bothered that night at all.

2. Alcohol, anti-anxiety medicines or sleep medication do not matter. I experience this if I take them and I experienced it the 7 months I went without anything.

3. Anyone that is in my home when this happens, mysteriously falls asleep.

4. I always know when it’s going to happen.

5. I’m partially conscious when it does because as soon as it’s over I’m able to sit up with the pain radiating through my stomach until it fades within 5 minutes.

6. I have a cat that stares at a particular wall at night and is not disturbed by outside noises as he usually is (very skittish)

7. I’ve had a pit bull that would run around the house as if chasing something (barking) and would suddenly run under a bed and hide, whimpering.

8. I used to play with Ouiija boards and witchcraft a

I had a issue with a succubus once, very freaky let me tell you. I am positive I didn't have sleep paralysis because I was thinking to much during the attack. Feeling the bed move, hair brush over my arm and my mind was racing a mile a minute!


Like you I dabbled in the occult. Tends to make it easier for them to affect you.

Well, don't take me as patronizing you but I would enjoy this I think...Unless the pain is that bad, I don't see the problem.

Maybe it's a guy thing, again not trying to be rude but I just never saw the problem.

I rarely comment on such cases - but in saying that, I have had experiences of my own over the years. Some were petrifying! I found the more I feared the phenomena, or let it dominate my thoughts (ruminate over it) the worse it got.

Then I started to consider that it was me who was giving power to this 'thing' - whatever it was. That perhaps I was giving it power over my life. In some ways, it reminds of the movie "Forbidden Planet" and the monsters of the ID'. That perhaps we are in some way responsible for their manifestations.

Slowly I started to mock 'it' in my thoughts and look for prosaic answers that could explain it away. I used every method I could to take away it's power, it's mystery, turn it into nothing... and with that, the phenomena went away.

In short, I think I closed all the doorways it may have tried to exploit into my life and I'm no longer bothered by it (whatever it is). It stays away from me and hasn't bothered me in years.

Hope this helps!

IRM

reply to post by Mr Headshot


It's something different when your body is not under your control. I like a little kink but that was above my accepted dose! Especially when you know that nobody is supposed to be in the room with you.

reply to post by hangedman13


I suppose I can understand the whole freaking you out thing, that might actually be one thing above my accepted level as well, but, on the other hand, I did enjoy Hubert Breast: Repenetrator.