Protecting the guilty....

In sacrifice of the innocent.....

I am beyond dissapointed by the legal system here..... it is too easy to take rights from the innocent, and grant them to the guilty, because of human corruption and lies....

people band together in a lie, and your hands are tied...

I tried to protect my child from being around someone who drinks all day, plays Halo and other violent games in front of him 24/7 and swears like a truck driver, is constantly angry and agressive, occasionally violent, etc, etc, etc.....

BUT, his mommy (who wears rose coloured glasses) and him, went on a search for every drunk or druggy I have ever kicked out of my house (again because I don't want people like that around my child) and banned together signing afidavid, after afidavid after afidavid against me to try and take my child away....from ME the health freak who dosen't even watch TV and teaches him gardening and music and to loove animals and nature...

After 4 months in court, they gave up, yet still got shared custody etc...

Meanwhile as soon as the leagal battle was over, the father moved away, and abandoned his "visitation" days he was granted, yet still comes to town once a month or so for a week of re-corruption.....

We go from playing in the sunshine with other kids, happy healthy, loving activities, to heres the drunk guy sitting on the couch, swearing, being belligerent, and playing violent video games in front of my child all day....

I feel like I have failed my child, but really the system or mabey my lawyer, failed me.... I didn't even need a lawyer, I did all my own talking, and filled out every paper in my defence, and gathered all of my own proof etc...

I guess the point is, I still feel like we live in the middle agaes where those wiling to lie and cheat and bully, get their way....

I actually can't wait for this entire system to go down and change.....

So sick of the bad guys getting away with murder whilst opressing and mocking the good guys...... SICK of it....

I believe every word in your post for one reason only. Personal experience. I'm sorry that you had to go through this kind of crap that goes on every day in every way.

There is no justice in the law. There is only the law.

My personal experience was similar to yours in many ways, with a group of people bent on lies to defame and demoralize me all working together to take my child from me. Legally, I won every single court case brought against me for four years by proving all accusations against me were false. Illegally manipulating the system and brainwashing my child worked to their advantage in the end because they were willing to convince my child that her mother was something I'm not. She was tricked into saying something that was an outright lie and without going into specifics, the end of my story and hers is that viscious people have no problem whatsoever telling lies under oath which ruin lives.

The best thing you can do for your child (and the hardest) is to never ever say a negative word about the other parent to your child. As hard as it is to do, it is imperative that you do not duplicate the terrible behavior they inflicted on you and your baby. Yes, you have to go along with court orders, even against your will and against the best interest of your child.

You must rise above, take the high road and suffer in silence for the benefit of your child. In time, your child will grow old enough to understand the clear difference between you and its father's kind. Your child will see for him/herself without being "brainwashed" by you.

It will almost (I repeat, almost) kill you but you have no choice now. The right do not always come out on top. It is up to you now to make 100% sure that you are a positive influence in every way.

I'm so very sorry for you. ♥

reply to post by mellisamouse


Well, I hope you are open minded. I mean no disrespect. If the kid's father cared enough to get many signed affidavits. And if he comes for a good portion of the visits. And if he is not beating him or you. Then I say the kid is better off with the father in their life!

Playing Halo and swearing and driving aggressively do not constitute a bad father. If their is alcoholism, that is certainly a concern, especially if it involves the child and driving. I am sure the police would be more than happy to step in and assist you if the father is trying to drive while intoxicated, especially with a child.

It sounds like you are a wonderful mother, but don't forget that "well-rounded" is very important also. It is never fun for a kid to get picked on because they have never heard of "Halo" or never heard certain cursewords. They are going to be exposed to these things at some point whether you like it or not, so it is better to happen now, with the supervision of parents. The kid will grow up just fine!

reply to post by Hazelnut


Thank you Hazelnut very much for sharing.

I agree 100% about not putting down the other parent etc.....afetrall, that is a large part of a child identity and self esteem, so I do my best to just point out the positive.

It really does kill me sometimes though...you are right there..... after 4 days in a row of his father drinking all day in front of a minor, playing Halo and Halo wars, and barely awknwoleging his child..... I woke up in tears feeling like a falure.

Thank you so much, and I will definatly try to keep it in the front of my mind 24/7 to STAY PROACTIVE....

thank you again, and I am sorry for youe situation as well.....

I wish for a day when truth reins.

reply to post by getreadyalready


You have some good points about the "well rounded"..... gave me yet another tear of relief...

He has finally in the last few weeks gotten convicted of drinking and driving, and it really is the drunkness that scares me because he does become violent on occasion, out of the blue without warning...it really is the drinking and drugs that bother me.

I DO want him to have his father in his life, and my goal was never to exclude him....

For the first 4 years of his life he never really even awknowleged his own child though, and to see a child go from happy and confident, to frustrated and having tantrums breaks my heart....after a few days on our own we get back on track though...

Oh well, I guess the point was how cheated I felt by people so willing to lie in court out of pride and ego, instead of looking at what was in the best interest of the child....

They all admit out of court now that they were wrong etc, and either got bullied into it or bribed, or threatened to be exposed themselves etc....but that dosen't help me now, and I wouldn't trust them to go admit now that they pretty much all lied....

Even though I proved them as exaggerating, slandering, and taking things out of context and twisting the truth, it is still such a feeling of helplessness when the LAW helps the LAWLESS rather than the law abiding...

reply to post by mellisamouse


mellisamouse, you are welcome. I'm proud of you for doing the right thing. Legally, you are limited as to options depending on your financial status. If you have enough money, you will prevail. If not, its nothing more than a gamble and play on luck.

I have reams of court documents and judicial proclamations in my favor but the fact remains, my daughter was brainwashed into telling terrible lies. The judge in my domestic relations case was appalled at the behavior displayed by my adversaries and pointedly told me that I have legal grounds for filing a civil suit against every individual involved.

I didn't file a civil suit against any of them. Why? Because they had nothing of financial value. It would have cost me another large sum of cash to bring the suit and nothing to gain except the restoration of my pride. More losses and no gains.

It does seem that those with little or no financial stability are the ones who are quickest to lie, they already know they have nothing to lose. Proving liable is another exercize in futility as the punishment for defamation of character and liable are negligible.

Hang in there! You're doing fine.

reply to post by Hazelnut


Thank you...it is sooo true, why waiste more money and time on restoring my pride towards those people who i have no respect for now anyways.

I know myself, I have a TON of friends who know and respect me ( NONE of who I dragged into this embarrasing mess for that reason)...

Goin to court anymore past this point, would just to be adding nothing...

My pride was not actually hurt because they all know they lied against an innocent person...they are the ones walking with their heads down, so I have nothing to prove.....

I also feel like Karma is working things out...like I said , he just got convicted of drinking and driving....

He has lost his license for 60 days now, could also loose it for a year or more, and also could face jail time for it...so if I just do the best I can on my part, things will work out how they need to I guess.

I am not happy about it, it sucks, but I guess the universe hopefully can wake him up some other way....

The weird part is I feel sorry for him, that he is missing out oin joy and love in life tby being so drunk and bitter all the time...some bad things in his past must have put him in that state, but I don't want HIM to be a bad thing in my SONS past that could ever put my SON into that state....

I am confident enough love on my end has already got the little guy in a good headspace that way though. he has already, at 4 1/2 told his dad to leave me alone and stop arguing at me all the time...sweet muffin.