Adopted Adults

I was just curious, how many of us are adults who have been adopted as babies, and then where unsuccessful at finding our "natural" parents, and hence a lot of our unending searching?????

I was just wondering if that could be part of the reason I dig so much deeper than most?

because Since I was about 3 years old, and my "adopted" mother told me I wasn't her kid, I feel I had been searching for some connection ever since... like a search I just can't let go....

I know my real mother died in 1983, before I had a chance to find her, so I felt even more ripped off, but...anyways, I was just wondering how many others have this in common and feel the same, as this extended searching may be somehow connected???

I was never adopted, but my first wife was. She was Lebanese by birth who was adopted by American (Christian) parents.

Wanting to know about her birth parents was important to her during her teens. Her Adopted Parents catered to this by sharing everything they knew and allowing her to explore the culture of her parents. She insisted on dressing Lebanese, eating Lebanese, learning the Lebanese language, and studying Lebanese history.

The opportunity arose when she was 18 to meet her birth parents. I was utterly shocked, along with her Adopted Parents, when she declined.

The blanks had already been filled in for her. She knew who she was and where she came from. She didn't need to meet two absolute strangers to make her feel whole. She ultimately decided that the parents who cared for her for all of her life were her parents, for better or for worse. Her biological parents were just an abstract that were better off remaining part of a personal mythology rather than being ruined by facing them in reality.

15 years later and she's never questioned her own decision to not meet or talk with her birth parents. She still has no desire to.

I certainly can understand your desire to search for who your parents are though.

my mother knew my biological father for only one night.

....sometimes i am a cheeky little bastard, but make no mistake, the guy who stepped in when i was two took that role on and did a great job.

The odd time i wonder what it would be like to talk to him (I know i'm not adopted but i think i know how you feel), as i know he was a carpenter, or at least, in construction as well, just to see how similiar we are in other areas. It's almost purely scientific at the least, and maybe he'd get somethin' out of it, as i'm very independent.

I've never searched, but maybe one day. either or, what'll happen'll happen.

A friend of mine was adopted. A few years ago she was having medical problems and her doctors told her it would have been very useful if they had an idea of what her family medical history was like. She decided to find her biological parents because of this because of this practical reason.