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(DOR) The Threat

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posted on Jun, 9 2009 @ 03:51 PM
Not to be considered as a submission to the contest


Donny: Hey Bruce. Looking kinda tired today, aren't you?

Bruce: '...'

Donny: What's the matter? Cat got your tongue?

Bruce: '...'

Donny: (chuckles) You're getting old, Bruce. You look like a sack of potatoes and smell like one too. In fact, I'd say you're turning into sad sack. (laugh)

Bruce: (softly) Leave me alone. You're bugging me, Donny.

Donny: Ah!!! It spoke! Wow, I'm honoured to be recognized.

Bruce: (whispered) I mean it, Donny. Shut up.

Donny: (spoken in a baby voice) Now is that any way to talk to your best friend, Brucey-baby? Sucky-Brucey. Sucky sack of potatoes Brucey-baby.

Bruce: (raises voice) Would you PLEASE get off my back?

Donny: You can't just tell me to go away. You know you can't and I won't neither. I'm your bestest friend ever and I'm going to stay right here and tell you what I think. You can't stop me.

Bruce: Just shut up, Donny. Please?

Donny: What are ya gonna do, Brucey-baby? Huh? I'm right here and what are you gonna do to shut me up? YOU CAN'T! You're getting old now and you got pimples and girls don't like you and you're ugly and you're a chicken and...

Bruce: SHUT UP!!!

Donny: ... you suck at school and nobody likes you and...

Bruce: I mean it, Donny. Go away. I don't like you any more and I want you to go away and not come back ever again.

Donny: No way you're gonna get rid of me that easy, Brucey-boy. I've been your pal ever since you were old enough to walk and talk. I been there when you go to bed and I been there when you wake up in the morning. Your mom and dad think I'm just your imaginary friend, but we know better, don't we? (laughs) Yeah!

Bruce: I can get rid of you just fine, Donny. So I'm warning you to shut up.

Donny: Ooooo, yer scarin' me, big fella. (laughs) You can't do nothing, ya big weird smelly sack of potatoes. I'm here for good and there's not a damn thing you can do about it. Suck it up, nerd. Loser. Dick. Idiot. I know you're sweet on that Linda at school and, you know what(?), you ain't got a snowballs chance in hell cuz you're a coward and no girls like cowards. I saw the way she looked at you behind your back. She was laughing at you! Besides, she likes George Apopolis better than you anyways.

Bruce: '...'

Donny: Loo-oo-oooo-ser. George and Linda look good together. She's nice and you're not and you stink, loser.

Bruce: Donny, I'm warning you. I know how to get shut of you forever and I'll do it if you don't GO AWAY!!!

Donny: (laughs)

Bruce: Think I can't? Yeah?!? I can, you know. I figured out how to shut you up for good. So shut up and go away or I will do it.

Donny: What can you do, Bruce? (serious now) I'm in your head and you can't get rid of me ever.

Bruce: Oh, yeah?

Donny: '...'

Bruce: I know where dad hides his gun and bullets.

[edit on 9/6/09 by masqua]

posted on Jun, 9 2009 @ 04:59 PM
The dark side of humor.
Maybe I should not of found it funny but I luaghed.

posted on Jun, 9 2009 @ 05:53 PM
reply to post by titorite

the whole point was to make the reader feel uncomfortable. If you didn't know whether it was right to laugh or not, then I think I've accomplished what I intended to do.

Nothing like psychology for a good story.

posted on Jun, 9 2009 @ 05:59 PM
WOW! I really enjoyed your story. It was more than discomfort...... it was a juxtaposition between both characters as to who was the protagonist....

Really powerful, and it resonates to me like the freako thoughts that jangled in my head just after puberty ........ there were mastodons then; I had one for a pet.

This could almost be the teenage male athem. Well done!

posted on Jun, 9 2009 @ 06:07 PM

Originally posted by argentus
This could almost be the teenage male athem. Well done!

Thanks, argentus. I picked that awful time I still remember, but not all that fondly. Puberty is a troublesome time when the demons in our heads play rough. For some it's bad enough, but for the rest it's plain hell.

I never had an imaginary friend before puberty, so I have no real idea what it must be like to part with it. I'd sure like to hear some stories from those who did. What was it like and how real did they become over the early years?

And, what if that doppelganger actually started becoming verbally abusive during those tough times between being a boy and a man?


[edit on 9/6/09 by masqua]

posted on Jun, 9 2009 @ 06:56 PM
reply to post by masqua

I grew up on the edge of the Selway-Bitterroot wilderness area in Idaho and I was an only child. Nearest house was well over two miles away, and friends even further. I didn't have an imaginary friend that I thought was real, but occasionally 'heard' thoughts that were opposed to who I thought I was.

As I crossed into adulthood, I wondered about those that did, and wondered who eventually ........ won, for dominance of the personality. I think I sensed at an early age that Tigres Be Thar. Fortunately for me, I had a horse, who was my best friend......... until I discovered the wonder of .. girls.

I think your story will remind many of those jangled times. I think it's wonderful.

posted on Jun, 9 2009 @ 07:33 PM
A horse can be a wonderful friend. Intelligent and trusting, they are an amazing creature. Where I have lived for most of my life is in Mennonite country and horses here are as normal a sight as rusty old pickup trucks.

They're a joy to see whether working the fields or pulling a buggy.

My early years were always transitory and my parents never stayed put longer than a couple of years, so I can understand how not having friends can be a trial. We moved from country to country and farms to towns on a regular basis. No wonder that when I finally grew up I stayed in one town for most of my life.

Getting back to my nomadic existence as a child, it was that awful feeling one gets in a community when forced to go to a school for the first time. Always the outsider, I naturally had to either stick up for myself or become some bullies plaything. Put that kind of adventure beside puberty issues and you've got a real issue to deal with, especially when we moved from the farm into town just as I was to go into highschool. Gone were all my hard won friends who baled hay, tended cattle and did hours of chores daily to be replaced by the well-dressed, savvy socialites of the town.

My best advantage was all the farm work I'd done. I could handle the guys alright, but the girls... well, THEY were another matter. Most didn't have the time of day for hicks.

It all worked out for the best, though... playing highschool football put me in the sights of a particular cheerleader who I wound up marrying a few years later. Lucky me.

But I'll never forget that first year and the gut wrenching hell I went through then.

When I go for a walk today and see some gangly kid between 12 and 14, walking all hunched over, looking out of place, I remember myself back then, smile, and wish him well.

[edit on 9/6/09 by masqua]

posted on Jun, 24 2009 @ 05:50 PM
Wow, impressive! Really strikes a nerve once you realize exactly what is going on.

posted on Jun, 29 2009 @ 12:46 PM
I must admit, I wasn't sure whether to laugh or cry in several places while reading the story. Puberty is an ugly and awkward time, and you took me back to it quite well. This was well done my friend, a pure psychological egads!

I wish you could have entered it in the contest, I know you would have done well. As is, thank you for sharing it with us.


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