posted on Nov, 1 2008 @ 12:37 PM
Hi OP .. a well-expressed post
As to your enquiries, well, I'm a lot older than you, and I still grapple with it.
Like you, I've had 'memories' which cannot be from this lifetime. Began having them at around age four or five and it's still happening.
Some are of far-ancient times. Another I think is from the 1920s or 1930s (and is not located in any country I've ever lived in or visited).
They're brief. But what interests me is the fact I can still remember, in detail, the first one, which occurred when I was 4 or 5 (the first one I
can 'remember' in this life, if that makes sense). They're indelible .. at least as strong as real-life memories. And they're always the same ..
they don't change or alter or gain or lose, the way some real-life memories sometimes do.
They also carry with them a 'feeling' or atmosphere that's distinctive .. almost have a 'mental flavour'. Hard to describe. For example, one of
them just 'arrived' ... I don't know precisely when, maybe ten years or so ago. Not sure what triggered it. Could have been a bit of music ..
don't know. What I 'saw' was this: the back of an obviously old house. Shabby old place. Very overgrown garden. House had been painted white
but that was now wearing away. One level. Made of planks of wood. Specific windows in the back .. set higher than normal and longer than normal.
Heat. Insect noises. And the overgrown bushes and trees closing in on the place. Some had a few flowers. Overgrown grasses as well. But non of the
vegetation close to the house was over-tall, although further to the back there were dense trees. Deserted feeling. No one lived there now.
Sunlight and shade. Humidity. Warmth/heat.
What I was 'seeing' was the back of the house .. an annexe or addition. Low roof, shallow pitch to it. I know this beyond any doubt, but of course
cannot justify my certainty. I strongly suspect (but am not certain about this element) that the house is/was located in the United States. I've
never been there, although people in the family emigrated there in the 1700s and more went over in the mid-1800s. But I didn't know they had until
after I started 'seeing' the house (only learned about the American branches of the family a few years ago).
The house 'feels familiar'. Ridiculous. Shouldn't happen. But it does.
There's an element of trepidation when I 'see' the house in my mind for an instant. Although I never know when it's going to happen. I could be
engaged in normal activities, thinking of this or that when suddenly ... I 'see' the back of that house. Might not happen for a year. Then I
'see' it. And I think to myself again, 'Where did that come from? What is it about ? '. Then it's gone. Until next time. Always takes me by
surprise. Have no idea what it means. It's not associated with anything that's happened in my real life.
It all comes in a 'package': the sight of the house -- the atmosphere -- the mixture of homesickness and longing -- the trepidation (sort of an
'oh no ..' feeling ( with some dread, some nervousness) -- the heat, humidity, insect sounds combined with strong 'stillness'. And reluctance
-- my mind both pulls me towards the house and into its 'atmosphere'. And at the same time my mind tries to escape being drawn in. There's
definitely some fear/nervousness involved. But the 'homesickness' wins. And I allow myself to 'savour' the image. But only for an instant. I
push it away, I think.
Then there's another bit which started quite a while after my first 'seeing' of the back of the house. The other bit first came when I was resting
during the daytime. Suddenly I could see the inside of a house. Not much to see. Basically, an empty room. Painted white inside, all except the
floor. Old fashioned. Tall ceiling. I see one room, but there are others leading off to each side and there's another behind .. something like a
sunroom. So this room I'm seeing is close to the back of the house because there's sunlight coming through. It's not scary, but definitely has an
atmosphere to it.
I see the room from higher than my normal height/eyes, for some reason. The atmosphere when I'm 'seeing' it feels similar to 'homesickness'. I
don't recognise the room in the sense of normal 'recognition' .. yet it feels somehow familar and at the time I'm seeing it, I feel homesick.
Difficult to explain these things, especially as while I'm trying to explain, I realise how ridiculous it must sound. Sounds ridiculous to my
'inner ear', which is as sceptical as the next person.
As much as I 'long' to be 'back' in the room --- I also want to get away from it and push it all from my (conscious) mind. There's a sense or
atmosphere of sadness about it. There's a feeling of people talking, chattering, being busy and even happy. But I don't hear them of course.
So it's in layers: the real-life me suddenly 'sees' an unknown room -- the room is empty, feels long deserted -- and at the same time, this room
carries 'memories' of its own, of a time when it was occupied. So my real life mind tries to grapple with all this, much of it subtle and all of it
The room's 'memories' contain one girl for certain, and she invokes memories of other girls .. sisters, cousins, perhaps. They are young .. in
their teens or some in their early 20s. They're quite happy .. they live there, they're happy there. They have long hair, medium brown. Don't
know how I know that. Don't know when or how the 'sadness' came or what it consisted of. It's all gone now, anyway .. long gone.
The room is connected to the 'back of white house' image. It's the same place. I think it's in America and I think the time-frame is the first
few decades of the 20th century.
I have absolutely no explanation and know it sounds like rubbish. It began pretty late in my life and I have no frame of reference for it.
It floats into my mind .. the room comes at different times to the back of the house -- I never 'see' them together. I don't know what it's about
nor do I know what triggers it.
They're not from a movie or television, or I should say that to the very best of my knowledge, they are not a place I've seen in any sense in this
my real life.
There is no continuity, none. All I get is the back of the house and associated 'atmosphere', sounds, temperature and 'feelings'. It never
progresses. For example, I never move further around the house, or see it from a different perspective or at different times of day or season. It's
always the same. I can never put people into the scene. In other words, I cannot alter it consciously, using imagination. It seems to be fixed.
But I can say in all honesty that these 'memories' or whatever they are, are as clear and unchanging as normal, 'real' memories from my real
There are quite a few more of these Out of Place Memories which have arisen or emerged at different ages in my real life. They are not connected to
each other in time or locality. Some I know are triggered by a particular type of daylight .. I've learned that much over the years. Others are
triggered by music, as I've learned from experience. One of them I really, really love. It's of a distant view of buildings which overlook a sort
of sea-wall and flat water. I suspect it's in France, but I don't reall know. I used to experience it more often when I was quite young. Don't
experience it all that often any more. It's unchanging, always the same. It's stayed the same through all these years. When I try to 'extend'
this 'memory' I'm unable to do so, much as I want to because I enjoy it so much. On the rare occasions I 'see' it these days, I think, ' Oh,
the lovely place ' and I want to be 'back' there more than anything. But even though I try to prolong it in my mind, it's only momentary and then
it's gone. When I try to 'replay' this Out of Place memory in my conscious mind, it doesn't work properly and doesn't feel the same .. a sad
disappointment. I would think that if my conscious imagination was creating it, I should be able to summon it at will. But I can't.
So difficult isn't it, trying to explain this in words ? Makes it sound so trivial and even ridiculous. Impossible to put into words the emotional
effect .. often quite profound and moving .. which these Out of Place and Time memories can have.