Why is it that when you make eye contact with certain people they leave you feeling really scared?

This first started happening to me when i was ten.I had gone to do my papere round and was asked to cover for a guy who was off.I delivered to an address with no letterbox so I knocked on the door to gain access.An old lady came to the door and as soon as our eyes met i felt complete and utter fear,i got goosebumps,the hair on the back of my neck stood up,my bladder felt weak and i was petrified.The feeling left me drained and when asked to come in against all my better judgement i followed.The lady who was old but appeared normal looking except for the eyes which were not different but had this scare factor to them went on to offer me some sweets.I ttok them and got the hell out of there.I looked at the sweets and they were strange,not a brand i recognised,something told me not to eat them and they were promptly thrown over my shoulder and on i went but couldnt stop thinkin about what had just happened and also feeling totally drained!

Since then i have had this phenomenen happen with six or seven other people and each time in ordinary circumstances.Another example was when walkin through my town centre i caught the gaze of an average lookin,quite pretty middle aged woman,when our eyes locked the same feeling of absolute terror washed over me and i looked away quickly,i had to stop at the nearest bench,sit down and gather my thoughts and recharge my batteries as again i felt wiped out!

This brings me to a couple of weeks ago,now this hasnt happened for a good five or six years and to be honest id forgotten all about it so it came as a bit of a shock.I was in my shop and a customer came in,an oldish guy with a beard but nothing remarkable about him,I greeted him and when our eyes locked the terrible feeling id experienced before once again came to the fore,I couldnt wait to get rid of him.my heart was beatin ten to the dozen and i just wanted him to go.I answered his enquiries with one word answers and was as unhelpful as possible really but he still went on to order.

What i now want to no is if anyone can explain this or if anyone else as had a similar experience as i have to deliver to this guy in a couple of weeks and am dreading it,being inside his home.I dont no if im being paranoid but im sure once he saw the revulsion on my face a sly smirk appeared and he seemed to actually be enjoyin my discomfort.Ive had a lot of paranormal events occur throughout my life and il go on to post about them eventually,im sort of drip feedin them at the minute so people dont think its a new member making things up if i posted everything all at once but this as been on my mind since it happened and i could sure do with some advice before going to this guys home address!!

[edit on 15/9/2008 by dooleysleftleg]

[edit on 15/9/2008 by dooleysleftleg]

Yes i can totally empathize with you there friend. Often when i lock eyes with some people they turn around in disgust ( am i really that ugly :puz
I know it seems sad but i try to avoid eye contact.

There is only one time that I felt something close to that. I was sitting opposite a guy in a train when I was living in Holland. I put my cup on the table, but pushed it over by mistake. It didn't spill though. But when I looked up. This guy was staring at me with hate and fear filled eyes. I was amazed by it, because I have never seen those emotions come out of someone's eyes. Dude had lots of issues, I'm sure of that. I hate to say it, but it could be because of my skin color as well. But oh well, I shrugged it off because I knew he couldn't hurt me in anyway.

Btw.. a tip. Learn to strengthen your mind through focus and concentration, and eliminating irrational fears. Whenever people get you scared of them (in any way) without using violence on you, you're allowing them to do it. When you're strong enough (mentally), you will be able to stare back at them and make them cringe or crap their pants.

i sure would not try to 'turn off' that survival mechanism...

it might be explained as a psychic warning, or as reading body language...
but whatever brings about those feelings of dread or loathing fear of the individual... i would not label it as being irrational or paronia.


on 2 seperate occasions, several years and distances apart, i too had that deep psyche 'shuddering' in the presence of another person...
both individuals just had the aura, smell, lingering presence of 'Death' all around them, whether anyone was a murderer or serial killer I will never know.

in my memory, one person out in Phoenix AZ in 1996, looked exactly like the picture of Mohammad Atta...
the other person i immediately averted my eyes from, was seen in myrtle beach in the late 1980s, and had the aura of cannibalism dripping all over him.

I know how your feel... ive been told that im an empath if you believe in that kinda thing. this type of thing has happened to me since i was about 12 or 13. for me the best thing to do has been to avoid eye contact and touching or just brushing up against people i don't know. I have heard about people doing what the bandit was saying but i was told that some one had to teach you and i haven't found anyone yet. They say that the eyes are the windows to the soul so it would make sense that there are some windows that you just don't want to see whats on the other side.

Don't forget.....we are nothing but mammals.
Humans try so hard to tell ourselves that we are "higher beings" when we are just another animal that has senses. You know sight, hearing, touch....etc. Another one of them being our body is able to tell us when we are in danger.
Good thread OP. Star and flag...

Dooley,
I don't recall this ever happening to me. I have felt the energy of other people and some people are just stronger and more aggressive then others, but I never felt it from looking at their eyes. You may have some type of rare ability. It appears that they are not aware that you sense something is odd about them except for the one guy you mentioned. Can you give any more details?

What else do you want to know? All i can say is the absolute fear they invoke is extreme and ive never had the fear when seeing what i believed to be a ghost in the past or when getting set upon by five youths when i was younger.Its very physical to.left me feeling drained of energy as if id had to battle with them to not faint there and then.I dont no if they are not of this world(alien,ghosts?),whether they are pure evil and i and certain others can sense them or whether its just some kind of short circuit in my brain? I do believe tho that this latest guy sensed me sensing him and enjoyed the fact that i was struggling in his prescence.I really dont want to go on this delivery,but im not goin to wimp out as i may find some clues to all this within his home,ie books,paintings,photographs. As i said earlier there is no defining factor about any of these people other than the repulsion and fear looking at them gives you.If you want to no more just ask and Il answer whatever i can whilst not answering questions i dont no or am unsure of so i can keep my integrity in place.Thanks for all the suggestions though.

Originally posted by TheBandit795
Btw.. a tip. Learn to strengthen your mind through focus and concentration, and eliminating irrational fears. Whenever people get you scared of them (in any way) without using violence on you, you're allowing them to do it. When you're strong enough (mentally), you will be able to stare back at them and make them cringe or crap their pants.

I can do this, but I only do it when I get really annoyed. I dont like to scare people usually, but some people really deserve it.

I feel uncomfortable making eye contact with most people in general. I'll usually look away, or at least at another part of their face except their eyes.

reply to post by dooleysleftleg


If you can keep us posted on how it goes with him I'd like to know some more about it and you sound like a willing guinea pig(lol no offense)

could luck and stay safe... if you can feel it in your bones that somethings not right leave right then dont stick around to see what happens..

Peace,

Justice

The duration of someones gaze is simply psychological, its an demonstration of dominance.

If you want to example, next time your chatting up a toddler, pay attention to how often they look away compared with how often you look away.

Then try the same experiment with someone older than yourself. Whoever is psychologically dominant will end up winning the competition.

Also, police officers are trained that when interrogating someone if they stare directly into the officers eyes without breaking then they maybe pychotic or on drugs, and should be considered a risk.

I am at the other end of the spectrum. Most people will not hold my gaze. I've had a lot of women say to me "I do not like looking you in the eye. It's like you are seeing into my soul". I still have no idea what THAT'S about.

But, I will say this: if you instinct says to "run!", then do it. Over reacting to a situation rarely results in danger, maybe just some embarrassment. Under reacting, however, frequently results in harm or death.

Great thread!!

I am empathic to a great degree (see auras and can get very accurate readings from people just being near them) and I have experienced this for many many years.

Psychic baggage. People carry it with them and some of us are very in tune to it.

Making eye contact is a very confident form of greeting and acknowledgment for nearly all species on the planet. Most animals greet this way initially and then rely on body language, sound, smell and "vibe" to know if the greeting is receptive or not. Humans are really no different.

When you make eye contact with someone carrying a lot of "baggage" you will undoubtedly pick up on some of it.

I have had experiences meeting people for the first time and instantly know they are "wrong" in some way. The worst was a man on the bus.

He got on at the front and casually glanced around for a seat, making eye contact with several people. I could see most of the people stiffen in response, look away quickly and put their heads down or turn away entirely. He looked at the seat beside me( on the inside) and then at me watching him, grinned and started to walk toward me. Every hair on my head was standing up and I felt absolutely sickened. I couldn't help but notice his aura (what I see is not colors - it's a whitish film of sorts around people) and his was just...disgusting. He got to where I was and motioned to sit on the seat next to me.

I looked up into his face and truly thought I was going to vomit. I said no. I said it as flatly as I could, but I have no doubt he knew he was creeping me out.

He stood for a second and his whole face changed into the most horrible scowl...and I said "There are a lot of free seats please take one of those."

I put my purse on the seat next to me to make the point.

He looked up to the front of the bus again (still many free seats open) and all of the people he had made eye contact with were watching.

He looked back at me (I was still watching him and thinking "you are NOT welcome here") smiled and got off the bus at the next stop, barely took his eyes off me as he got off.

This man was dressed very well. Hair neatly combed, nothing outward that anyone would consider to be a "wrong". He smelled of aftershave, nails clipped....

After that all I wanted to do was shower and wash off whatever residual he left behind.

I rode that bus everyday, same time...never saw him prior to that never saw him after that.

I think all people have the ability to "see" into another person. Intuition, empathy, physical clues, facial expressions, scent, gestures etc etc etc....it's a HUGE list of information we process in the space of a second when first meeting someone.

If you are having this happen regularly you really should learn to protect yourself. Took me about 7 years to get the auras under control...the empathy can be controlled as well....practice distraction and deflection.

Originally posted by TheBandit795
There is only one time that I felt something close to that. I was sitting opposite a guy in a train when I was living in Holland. I put my cup on the table, but pushed it over by mistake. It didn't spill though. But when I looked up. This guy was staring at me with hate and fear filled eyes. I was amazed by it, because I have never seen those emotions come out of someone's eyes. Dude had lots of issues, I'm sure of that. I hate to say it, but it could be because of my skin color as well.

Wow what's your skin colour? Purple!?

Haha just kidding, but if that was one of the reasons then it's quite stupid.

reply to post by justgeneric


could you tell me more about empathy please? I could really use some help... I've been trying to deal with it but what i was doing before isnt working any more and its gotten to the point that I'm afraid to meet new people.

For the OP - before going to this person's house I'd first spend a bit of time being nice to yourself.

Sleep in one day, eat a favorite meal, buy something you've wanted, catch a movie you've wanted to see. This will help boost your esteem and get you grounded within yourself.

You need to be confident when you go in to his home. I firmly believe there are people out there who can read people extremely well and DO enjoy causing discomfort.

It starts with you not him.

Don't make the delivery personal. It's your job. He is merely a customer. Be pleasant and in control and don't feel a need to chit chat...really it's not required to make your delivery and get out. You don't even have to be overly nice. Be courteous and civil.

You may have to override your need to provide exceptional customer service Some people are worth the extra effort and some...well they aren't.

Be good to yourself in ways that are important to you prior to going there. It really will boost your immunity to whatever he's putting out there.

Mentally stand up for yourself. It may sound hokey but if this man is a creeper and knows that is...he'll pick up on whatever vibe you put out.

Be confident in thought and your outward action will follow. Fear is normal but don't let it guide you.

It's hard to put into words what I' do...fear is for the most part NOT something we're born with. The feeling of anxiety is there from birth, but the MEANINGS behind the anxiety are learned and conditioned.

Example: a baby cries out of hunger...one mother reacts immediately and consistently. No fear, no anxiety. Another mother is a bit slow or just plain negligent...anxiety becomes fear...where's the food? Is it coming? When?

Our entire lives are spent learning what and when to be afraid and HOW to react to the fear in order to prevent pain, injury etc etc even if it's a supposed pain or injury and not a factual possibility.

Originally posted by ...and justice for some
CUT... avoid eye contact and touching or just brushing up against people i don't know.CUT...

Eye contact is not a problem.... it's when "they" touch me that I feel sick. Are you a "child of God"? If so... then the "children of the Devil" will always know who you are and let you know who "they" are. There are different "gifts/talents"...
1 Cor. 12:7 "But the manifestation of the Spirit is given to each one for the profit of all: ... 12:10... to another discerning of spirits...
Does the above "gift" describe what is being discussed here?

reply to post by Choronzon


"next time your chatting up a toddler" hahaha


now that made me laugh out loud!

Well, I agree with bandit, sometimes you can look at a persons eyes and just see all of their insecurities and pathologies. the eyes are a window to the human soul.

However, For primates (hominids included) direct eye contact is considered a threat. When I see somebody staring at me on the street and I'm not doing anything odd I stare back and give the "what the hell are you looking at glare" it's not cause I'm insecure but nobdy like somebody seemingly judging them unfairly. plus humans being predatory (partially) we don't like another predator staring back at us. sizing us up and figuring out how to eat us. You never stare a predator animal down. it's considered very hostile. You don't stare down primates either even the peaceful ones. try staring down a gorilla and see what happens. or a self sovereign dog for that matter. Wanna really attempt to stare down a rottweiler? didn't think so.

So direct eye contact, although in intimate setting (even formal settings) a sign of interest and paying attention. of not being dismissive. but a random stranger not being dismissive and keeping a close eye on you does develop a reaction from the person being stared at. usually a protective posturing (returning the threat so to speak)

But all that aside, I think that society especially in the US right now is very on edge and feeling insecure. You can see it in the way people drive (usually a good barometer of the general populations stress levels) and you can see it in their eyes. people right now are especially fearful and you'll see it in the their eyes, even when the perceive the smallest threat like knocking over an empty cup on accident.

also, I'd like to add that the OP could also be a little paranoid, misreading others gestures, etc. I used to be like that. I was very insecure and perceived everything as a threat as a kid. If some girl was looking at me I thought she was looking at me in disgust. I totally mis interpredited he body language and what that eye contact meant. turned out she liked me, alot, and she was hot, and I was too freaked out to figure it out and many years later she told me that she was hot for me back then and that I should have asked her out. Man I screwed up bad by mis interpeting her gestures and turning them into something to fear that were in fact neutral or benign. so it can go both ways. she's now making a great living in NY as a publisher, and every time I see her when she comes to LA I think man was I an idiot. should of been less judgmental and more open to other possibilities and meanings behind the eye contact.

something to think about.

[edit on 15-9-2008 by BASSPLYR]