Why UFO's Rarely Land in the USA

With all the UFO craziness lately I thought I'd post something to give everyone a laugh.

After reading this you'll have no wonder why UFO's don't ever land. lol.

There has been considerable speculation as to what recently caused concern to thousands of Arizonans. As reported by the media, a strange lighted object was seen to hover and float across the skies of practically the entire state. Even Arizona's Governor was calling for an investigation into this mass sighting, which clearly had to be classified as an Unidentified Flying Object. I conducted my own investigation into what caused this eerie occurrence, and am now able to report what really happened that night in Arizona (assuming my sources are to be trusted). This truly is something that will be swept into the X- Files. Because of the actions of a certain government employee, our destiny has been changed forever. Had it not been for my investigation, what you are about to read would never have made its way to the public's eyes.
That which was seen by so many was actually an alien craft visiting us from a far off universe. On board were emissaries of advanced civilizations, willing to meet with us earthlings, and share their valuable secrets. Had their mission gone as they had hoped, human beings would have benefitted from scientific advances I cannot even begin to describe. Unfortunately for the human race, the first person to board the alien ship when it touched down on the outskirts of Phoenix, was an inspector from the FAA's Phoenix Flight Standards District Office.


" Please come aboard - you are welcome," said the ship's commander, communicating through a voice translation computer, capable of interpreting over ten billion languages and dialects.

" Are you aware that you just violated Phoenix Class B airspace?" queried the FSDO inspector. "You apparently have no functioning transponder, no two-way voice communications, and certainly had no clearance to operate within Class B airspace. Further, you violated Class C and D airspace. Our office has received hundreds of calls from irate citizens complaining of your cruising over populated areas at less than 1,000' AGL. I, myself, witnessed your aircraft conduct an aerobatic flight maneuver, and I dare say that I see no parachutes on board. I am afraid you are in violation of numerous sections of the Federal Aviation Regulations!"

" Perhaps you don't understand," the alien tried to explain. "We are here to help you."

" I've heard that before," replied the inspector.

Another alien stepped forward and spoke. "Allow me to provide an explanation. We have come trillions of miles, traveled more light years than you can image, just to meet with earthlings. We come in peace, and want to share our scientific secrets with your people in an effort to prevent you from destroying your planet."

" Who are you, his attorney? I'm afraid that is no excuse for violating Class B airspace," said the inspector, as he thumbed through his copy of the FARs, trying to see what other regulations had been busted. "And don't bother filing a NASA report, I consider these violations intentional and reckless. I would like to see the pilot's medical certificate and license. I also want to see his log book. This aircraft looks unairworthy to me, and I'm going to ground it. And by the way," the inspector now was staring at the commander, "you don't look very well. Your skin is green and scaly. You have three eyes, and your brain appears to be bulging out of your skin. I'm going to have to write you up for operating an aircraft with a known medical deficiency."

The aliens were clearly upset, and counseled amongst themselves.

" Apparently you folks are not being very cooperative. You have yet to show me your license and log book, despite my having made a reasonable request. Nor have you provided a reasonable explanation for violating so many FARs. Therefore, I shall exercise my emergency revocation powers."

The aliens had heard enough. Clearly, the human race was not ready to benefit from the scientific advances the aliens had to offer. Perhaps it was better if the earthlings remained on their path of global destruction. The Commander politely ushered the FSDO inspector off the ship, closed its door, and charted a course far from the Milky Way.

" Well I'll be," uttered the stunned inspector to himself. "As long as I am with the FAA, that pilot will never get his license back, no matter how many times he re-applies."


[edit on 5-8-2008 by grey580]

the scarey part about it, its probably exactly what has/would happen star from me i think

These things happen all the time

www.youtube.com...

Im tellin you man make this thing into an animation. It is just too damned funny.

Do you think the FAA inspectoor would have gone soo far as to threaten to have them all detained for failure to cooperate?

This is a great funny story and probably true, except that the visitors would have actually been shot at for entering the atmosphere without approval from the galactic empire. ...Then charged for crash landing, on fire, in a no-parking zone.

Airease

I thought this was going to be the story about the UFO in the Southern U.S. that was afraid to land. It appeared to two hunters at dusk and it went something like this.

Joe: Whats that up there in the sky? Is that one of them UFo's?
come on down here and get some of this double aught. (raising rifle)

Jim: Yeah, come on down I want to try some of that green chicken.

Anyway, long tale but the moral of the story was: Not all meat taste like chicken and is safe to eat.

Or something like that was on the tombstones.

That sounds about right

Sounds kind of like the department of transportation here. Some of these people are so stupid here in the US the story could actually be true.