I Want BOTH!!!!!!

This is in relation to the threads I want IN!!!!!! and I Want OUT!!!!!! and is my spin on the subject of humans and society, as well as the secret societies which control both.

As you will see, my beliefs drift in to both Darkerside's and XcLuciFer's line of thinking, yet maintain distinct differences.

As time has gone on, and I have grown, I have begun to change as a person. If you ask anyone that knows me what type of person I am, they will say an intelligent, observant, quiet person with a good personality and a drive to do good and help others. I feel like that is the person, or the image, I am meant to maintain. But the truth is, that is not who I am deep down.

Recently I have found a deep interest, and agreement, with authoritarian control over society. I have begun to have the belief that the weak, mentally, physically and spiritually, the ignorant, willfully or not, the hopeless, whom cannot better themselves nor take care of themselves and whom will never accomplish a thing, and the uneducated, whom cannot and have not educated themselves, and instead, rely on others to educate them on the important subjects in life and society, are not worthy of remaining in a highly advanced society, and only slow or reverse the advancement of humans.

I have begun to look around at people, wherever in public that I happen to be, and create a snap judgment of the type of person I believe they are. I have begun to lump these people in to one of those four categories, unless I feel they are an educated, worthy and noble human being.

I do not discriminate people based on religion, race, nationality, gender, political beliefs or sexual orientation. I personally believe these are traits which are exploited for diversionary and divisionary purposes, and do not explain the person, which is what my four categories of worthlessness are based on.

For the longest time, I did not enjoy reading. For the longest time, I did not enjoy control and power. For the longest time, I was a calm, peaceful person.

Lately, within the last few months, I have begun reading up on topics that normally I would not find appealing. Lately, within the last few months, I have begun wanting control and power, to change society. Lately, within the last few months, I have not been a calm peaceful person, but an annoyed, irritated and angry person who often has thoughts that would be considered criminal about people in general.

These are just a few examples of how I have changed.

What is happening to me? Why is this happening to me? Nothing has happened to me for this sudden change. I am not one to become radicalized by text in a book or on a web page. I am not one to be influenced by anyone. I am my own person, with strong personal beliefs and ideologies, which I have never allowed to be challenged or changed by anyone.

Why is this happening to me? It feels as if there is some phantom entity radically shifting my beliefs in a direction that may or may not be what is in store for me, and I have no other choice but to follow "what feels right", whether, socially, it is considered "right" or not.

Here is where my beliefs dip in to the line of thinking of both Darkerside and XcLuciFer. I want IN - in to a position of control, in to shape my own destiny as I see fit, in to rid society of those who only hold back the human advancements. I want OUT - out of the society I am currently a part of, out of the status quo which banks on, and encourages this social retardation that I see as weak, out of what seems to be a miserable version of the supposed wonders of life.

I do agree with some of Darkerside's views of humanity and of the weak, but I do not sympathize with his attempts to gain entry in to the elitists' circles. I find his attempts misguided. I find his ideas narrow minded and uncreative.

I do agree with some of XcLuciFer's views of humanity and of the ignorant, but I do not sympathize with his attempts to spread a vision of peace where all are equal. I find his attempts illogical. I find his ideas impossible and unacceptable.

I do not see the elite as the answer. I see them as weak. Any who cower in the shadows behind puppets and cannot face the destruction they have committed, and who would perish if their grand lifestyles were ever ripped from them and replaced with a low class lifestyle, is weak in my mind and deserves the same destruction they bring upon others.

At the same time, I do not see peace as the answer. I see it as impossible. Humans, if allowed to roam free, become disassociated with nature and instincts. They become ignorant and weak. They cannot survive on their own, they cannot educate themselves and they cannot better themselves. They are allowed to create their own needs and wants, and along the way, develop a selfishness which holds those around them accountable and obligated to meet those needs and wants. Rather than bettering themselves, they rely on others. This holds down social and human progress.

I have spoke out against "the establishment" and the status quo for quite some time, and will continue to do so. My beliefs are it is being done wrong, for the wrong purposes and by the wrong people. In that sense, my beliefs have not changed.

What has changed, in recent times, is my view of society and freedom. My warm views that every human is created equal are no more. My righteous views that every human has a right to life and liberty, without contributing a thing to the progression of humans are no more. My views that no human is superior to another, which I used as my argument against Darkerside, are no more.

I am writing this to clear my mind, at your expense. I am writing this to show that there are more diverse and hidden thoughts that many seemingly "normal" individuals possess, whom do not share these diverse and hidden thoughts for fear of social banishment.

This is not meant to upset or offend anyone. This is meant to be a legitimate argument against the two common beliefs associated with 'wanting in' and 'wanting out', and I expect it to be treated as such.

EDIT: I have edited out much of my post. I think I have overestimated people's attention spans when reading more than a few lines of text.

[edit on 7/25/08 by NovusOrdoMundi]

Just wanted to add that you're not alone. I've been experiencing identical changes in my behaviour towards others. Ecspecially towards stupidity.

Interesting to see more people having these feelings.
Wonder if this will show up more often. Actually the mentally change we need to get something done in this world. Take back our power.

the thing is

you cant have both, one day you will be forced to choose