Antar= Yes/No?

The reason for this thread is to find out if I should stay on the forum because even though I am a bit 'different' even for ATS/BTS standards, I have been feeling a bit out of the loop recently.

Seems like very few ever resonate with my comments on others threads and yet if you look a few posts later someone else will reword a bit of what I just said, and get rave stars and comments.

I am not saying that I post or attempt to dialog with stars in mind, its just become an interesting pattern.

I have to admit, some of my comments have caused me in the past few days to gain 2 new foes, that in it's self is not necessarily a bad thing, but they were from people I do not even know.

The other thing bothering me, is that people that I thought I had connected with here will suddenly and without explanation stop corresponding with me.

Also I would love to be a good thread starter and have discussions about many levels of situations past present and future, however just learning how to operate a computer I always seem to have trouble getting the info out in an interesting manner. That and of the 99 threads I have started, they just seem to fizzle and go no where, then a few months later someone else brings it out and its a huge hit with the forum. The Iran Pictures You decide thread for example. I made SO many enemies and was for the most part completely misunderstood in my intent.

I have to say that it was that thread that sealed the deal on some of my most respected friends here on the forum. I did find some true knight and shinning armours.

Problem is, I have not followed through with P.M.'s or appreciations, and lack in general with a lot of the skills that make people want to get to know me better.

Interesting how I have grown to without a doubt love some of the people here and several have even moved on to become MOds. What was curious to me is that once they became MOds, our connection ended.

How I came to be here was through one of administrators invite. I was friends with him for years before coming here, and even he seemed to disappear from my life. It never went to the next level which bothered me greatly.

I suppose I am perhaps a bit delusional about the reality of online relationships, and even people in the real world, but that was the main reason I resonated with the forum. It was an opportunity for me to dive into a pool of a diverse and wide range of individuals, to learn about how to connect on a unhindered level with others that had nothing to loose by saying what they really thought.

As much as I have loved being part of this community, I am at the point where I have to ask, am I welcome here? Do I actually have people who care in the least bit about my existence? Or am I just falling through the cracks and becoming a problem?

Well, taking the family to go pick peaches today, and will check back later.

Thanks for reading, and I hope that I am wanted, and not just a burr in the saddle of everyone here. This is really not self pity, I just need to know if I fit in or are just a reject.

I don't have an account on BTS, but my account on ATS is ben420. I added you as one of my foes yesterday I think it was. I probably did it too hastily, but a couple of your posts on a particular thread just struck a nerve. It was on that thread about the guy who works for google apparently received an alien signal (which consisted of alt symbols from the keyboard). It was just your undying belief that the OP was telling the truth when it was such a blatant inflammatory hoax. I do apologize for acting so rashly, I was just having a bad day. Disagreeing with someones post/opinion is no reason to do something childish like that.

And no, don't leave the board. Just because your different is no reason to feel isolated.

I love you!
You always are so kind and peaceful!
I think a lot of older members left and maybe the camaraderie has dwindled.
I notice many older ones don't post as much and some don't seem as passionate.
Keep your hopes up and remember some are on here at different time zones and maybe while you're asleep, they post.
Things come in cycles.

My answer is Antar = YES!
Antar, I think very highly of you. You've always been a great member, and a great friend.

ANTAR = YES!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well, all I can say Antar is that in my limited dealings with you I have always found you respectful, thought provoking and questioning, even though there have been times when I didn't agree with you.
Top attributes in my book.

As for buliding relationships, that's never been my purpose for visiting ATS, however, at times I think it would be good to have some friends, but I ain't that bothered really.

My threads? Well they are a dismal failure, but again, I ain't that arsed, generally they have either been an opportunity to vent or for information purposes. Still I suppose it would be ok to start a really successful and popular thread.

My advise to you would be to stick with it.
You are a good and honest member who has the respect of most ATS members.

I like you, Antar.

Hello, Antar. I don't believe we have ever spoken but I have noticed you around the board before and you seem very polite, pleasant, and thoughtful. You also seem to be one of the site 'mainstays' so I would like to give you a little bit of encouragement.

Instead of responding to everything you bring up on a point by point basis, to sum it up, it seems like 'popularity issues.' I mean no offense whatsoever but that is pretty much what every issue you bring up relates to. Stars, foes, thread replies, correspondence, staff friends, etc. Some perspective in this case might be needed. I have noticed the way some things are set up it appears to be a popularity contest at times but it really shouldn't be and it certainly shouldn't have any bearing on whether or not a member stays or goes.

I'm not trying to invalidate your feelings or kick you when you are down. That isn't my intention at all. Just trying to help you put some things in perspective. Participate on ATS for your own 'therapy' and enjoyment and don't worry about how others interact with you either positively through starring or negatively through adding you as a foe. Those are such petty issues on which to base one's 'membership worth' because so many members abuse both of those features.

You seem very sweet to let such things get to you. It shows me you are very concerned with how you come across to other people. And I do not mean as an insecurity issue but as in you want to be polite and not be a nuisance to anyone. All I can suggest is that you stick around. Don't worry about acclaim or rebuke. Just do it because you want to.

Edit to add: I keep rereading this post and am wondering if it will come across as harsh or too direct. It is not my intention at all if it does. Instead of just begging you to stay or answering 'Yes' to your thread title, I was hoping to help you work through the specific issues you mentioned that are making you question/doubt your worth here instead of simply having you bury them and staying in spite of them. Hope this post helps you let go of such unimportant issues and convinces you that you are a valuable member who should stick around.

Best of luck.

[edit on 7/22/2008 by AshleyD]

Don't be mad!

ANTAR = YES!!!!!

You are a valued member here, and a lot of people I know on here and whom I speak personally think you are great.

I also think you are a wonderful , truly spiritual and gracious person.

With love and positive karma.

Oni

I say.

Post because you want to not because you want to be noticed.
Anyways this is only a website not real life so why would it matter if someone you dont really know doesnt notice you on a site.

And if you find that this is causeing stress then I say just take a break.

I know nobody notices my post or threads but I really dont care.
I just keep on posting.

Now, yes it would be nice if I had a thread with a lot of replies.
But I wouldnt only write a thread just cause I wanted replies.

Well those are my thoughts anyway.

reply to post by antar


Antar, you know I hold you in high regard. I know what you mean about the ignoring issue, but don't let that put you off. If someone pays no attention to you, its their loss quite frankly. I also remind you of that conversation you and I had in our recent meeting in Chat.

Remember always: if you speak the truth, people will declare you an enemy because they don't want to hear what you say. Again, their loss.

Just know there are poeple here who value your thoughts and opinions. I know in particular that I am lousy about keeping in touch, but that doesn't mean there is no connection, and I would hope that would be the same for others who dont chat with you regularly.

reply to post by antar


I've always liked your positive input on threads which are normally full of negative assumptions. You may not realize it, but your words have nudged me in the right direction a few times... something I can say about few others.

I won't vote yes/no. That's your decision, and no one should make it for you. The decision should be whatever makes YOU happy.

(and if you find a better forum, let me know)

Antar, you are one of the few posters on this forum that I constantly recognize by screen name and make sure to read.

I loved your stories that I read on the creative writing forum and I think you are a valuable member of the community.

Don't let the stars/flags and all that cloud your judgment, they are meaningless. I don't post much, but if I did it would be mostly to agree with posters like you!

Don't fret Antar, you've got friends in high places.

Your positive energy would most definitely be missed.

Peace

I second Dr. Love on that. You've got a much needed place here at A/BTS.

As many people say, they may not agree with you 100%, but you are always so unbelievably nice to people, that I friended you months ago. You may be a little less skeptical than me, but I am always sure to read your thought-provoking threads..

So Antar= Definite yes from me... And hey! respond to my wall post, I am still wondering what you meant by the "same soul" thing

I know how you feel. I often think I am a bit unnoticed and I try to figure out what is wrong with my posts and threads. A big problem here at the moment is that there are so many thoughtless OP's and posts that we drown in them, and its hard to find the good ones to throw a lifeline to.

I have realized something about my threads that perhaps might give you solace. I think that either they are not quite "out there" enough, or they are issues that people have not given much thought to. I posted a thread a week or so ago and the only responses I really got were from Karlhungis, but I learned to be happy with that because that's at least someone who's opinion I respect.

Sorry for the rant, I'm just saying, its quality over quantity when it comes to responses to your posts. Anyone can respond, but how much do they have to offer your opinion?

ANTAR..Leave this board and I will virtually KICK YOUR BUTT!

I've had days like this, trust me..and I have been talked out of it.
If you feel you need a break..by all means..take one.
But no leaving for good.
We'd miss you too much.

Maybe just take a break for a few days ma'am. I enjoy having you here and appreciate your input.

Worried about threads and replies? Don't be. Start the thread because it is important to you. If others don't reply, oh well. You put the information out there and thats what is important. Look at my thread list. About a dozen of mine garnered most of my replies. The rest fizzled.

You have also got 64 applause at the time of this post so the staff obviously appreciates your input. Three staff members have replied saying we'd like you to stay. That says something too, I believe.

I'd miss ya around here if you left. Nobody wears the naughty angel avatar as well.

Antar, my dear friend!

AccessDenied beat me to it, I was going to also say that if you leave this site I will personally make a trip to your wonderful home and kick that beautiful arse of yours!!!

Sometimes we don't get the desired feedback we hope for or expect, and like in the real world people do let us down, but you contribution here is excellent and I for one look forward to reading the things you post and remark on.

Your kind and open invitation to members for a summer get together was so generous and unassuming and even groundbreaking, you are one of a kind and an asset not only to this site, but to everyone you touch.

I am sorry you feel to be in a valley of sorts, but it's all good, girl.

Life is full of Joy and sometimes we even feel rejected, but it's all in a day.

You can't leave you know.......................

Edit to add:

Another member that knows I am cool with you spotted this thread and alerted me to it or I would have missed it. A special thanks to those who have eyes and pass the word that a friend might be in need of a boost or a kind word. Thanks and you know who you are!

I love you Jules..................

[edit on 22-7-2008 by interestedalways]

Antar = Yes

Always keep your own opinion. No matter what people think, a different opinion is always a great thing. Even if people disagree that disagreement is what makes this site good. It's members like you that make this site worth coming to on a daily basis.

Don't give up the fight. Not all of us make threads that carry on page after page. (believe me I know, heck most of my threads never see past the first page)

So again, stay Antar, if not for the agreements but for the disagreements.

reply to post by antar


Hello antar,

In short, no, you shouldn't leave.

I haven't been in too many threads where you have posted. I'm not sure if we just post in different subject areas or what. But when I have seen you around, I always get the sense that you're a very sound minded, intelligent, critically thinking person.

And you know what? ATS doesn't have enough of those people. There's a bumbling mass of ignorance polluting ATS with bias, hypocrisy and baseless assumptions, who's posts contain about as much truth and intelligence as the Weekly World News.

When that becomes the norm, it is always good to see contributions from members like you, no matter how infrequent I come across topics you have posted in.

Based on what you have said in your post, I am very similar to you. I feel its a lost cause to post knowledgeable, informative content that contains information I have gathered through personal research because its becoming noticeable that there is an increasing number of individuals on ATS who don't want to think or read. They'd rather stick to the reptilian threads and watch YouTube videos.

But I still post what I think, no matter what.

I say post what and how you feel, no matter if anyone listens. Voice your opinion, speak your mind, keep yourself up to date, do your research and you will benefit. In the end, all that matters is that you benefit. If people fail to relate to your reasoning, thats their loss.

Stay. Don't let others get you down.

[edit on 7/22/08 by NovusOrdoMundi]

please dont leave, whenever a member leaves ats/bts, a kitten gets killed, horribly, DONT LET ANOTHER KITTEN DIE.