posted on Jul, 22 2008 @ 11:33 AM
The reason for this thread is to find out if I should stay on the forum because even though I am a bit 'different' even for ATS/BTS standards, I
have been feeling a bit out of the loop recently.
Seems like very few ever resonate with my comments on others threads and yet if you look a few posts later someone else will reword a bit of what I
just said, and get rave stars and comments.
I am not saying that I post or attempt to dialog with stars in mind, its just become an interesting pattern.
I have to admit, some of my comments have caused me in the past few days to gain 2 new foes, that in it's self is not necessarily a bad thing, but
they were from people I do not even know.
The other thing bothering me, is that people that I thought I had connected with here will suddenly and without explanation stop corresponding with
Also I would love to be a good thread starter and have discussions about many levels of situations past present and future, however just learning how
to operate a computer I always seem to have trouble getting the info out in an interesting manner. That and of the 99 threads I have started, they
just seem to fizzle and go no where, then a few months later someone else brings it out and its a huge hit with the forum. The Iran Pictures You
decide thread for example. I made SO many enemies and was for the most part completely misunderstood in my intent.
I have to say that it was that thread that sealed the deal on some of my most respected friends here on the forum. I did find some true knight and
Problem is, I have not followed through with P.M.'s or appreciations, and lack in general with a lot of the skills that make people want to get to
know me better.
Interesting how I have grown to without a doubt love some of the people here and several have even moved on to become MOds. What was curious to me is
that once they became MOds, our connection ended.
How I came to be here was through one of administrators invite. I was friends with him for years before coming here, and even he seemed to disappear
from my life. It never went to the next level which bothered me greatly.
I suppose I am perhaps a bit delusional about the reality of online relationships, and even people in the real world, but that was the main reason I
resonated with the forum. It was an opportunity for me to dive into a pool of a diverse and wide range of individuals, to learn about how to connect
on a unhindered level with others that had nothing to loose by saying what they really thought.
As much as I have loved being part of this community, I am at the point where I have to ask, am I welcome here? Do I actually have people who care in
the least bit about my existence? Or am I just falling through the cracks and becoming a problem?
Well, taking the family to go pick peaches today, and will check back later.
Thanks for reading, and I hope that I am wanted, and not just a burr in the saddle of everyone here. This is really not self pity, I just need to know
if I fit in or are just a reject.