posted on May, 20 2008 @ 01:33 PM
I sent this off to a Christian web site a couple of weeks ago at their request but i would like to put it here
The reason is that its Good for Christians to share what God is doing in our lives IMHO anyway
Up until very recently i have been living with the specter of depression. Now at the age of 37 i had begun to accept that this was a life long
I say symbiotic as we fed and depended on each other, it could not exist without me, nor could i, exist without it. The problem, apart from the
obvious, with depression is that it makes you feel special and insulated in a negative way. It becomes your shield of excuse, inaction and bad
behaviour. You will always find yourself saying things such as
"sorry, I was really down when....."
It's a very broken record. replayed over and over again. At the time you feel it is true, but what you do not realise or admit to yourself is that
you inaction, and in my opinion a lack of faith in the Lord, compounds the problem, it feeds your situation. When i say a lack of faith, what do i
mean? I do not mean you throw caution to the wind, go cold turkey and assume that is that. No! what i mean by lack of faith, is that we do not take
this problem to the lord with full expectation that he will help us. We expect our version of the solution and in within our time frame. When we do
not get it, we despair. We give up, when we should continue and increase our prayer time with the Lord and more time studying his word.
I can say most assuredly, that when the Holy Spirit Guides us and the Lord reveals the smallest detail to us, no antidepressant can compare. The
first time this happens, its like a drop of water falling on to a sponge. Our spirit soaks up Gods spiritual truths until we are saturated with it.
Although, like anything that is saturated, it will dry out if i does not receive a constant supply.
I have been a Christian since October 2000. since this time i have asked God to cure me of depression many times. However on reflection, i know that
those petitions went along with my own expectations. I wasn't really asking God. I believe that i felt it was expected to ask and that i was not
genuine of heart in prayer. I couldn't have been. I know this because i was slack in prayer and study, if trusted and was genuine of heart i would
have done this so much more.
Now i come to the last couple of years. I got drunk a couple of years ago and very nearly ended with a prosecution, i would have ended up with a
custodial sentence for sure. This is a disgrace! I am supposed to be an ambassador for Christ! my actions influence others in the way i speak and
act. The process afterwards was one of shear fright and regret. Heather and I had just moved into our house after spending 18 months at her parents
house, We could have lost the house due to lack of income, i could have lost the love and respect of my wife but most of all i had insulted and let
I don't think i have prayed so much for forgiveness, but as i prayed the more i studied and as i studied, Gods word became clearer and the lighter my
overall mood became. Heather and I began to pray and study together, where as before i was embarrassed to this. I took myself away from temptation of
pubs and stopped drinking and during this period i realised that i wanted God and trusted God to take away my depression. This time prayer was
different, it was heart felt and genuine. The feeling was like closing door. The feeling was my prayer had been heard and i could leave this with the
lord. I can't describe it any better than that. I gradually lowered my medication and the stopped completely.
During this time i told a long time friend, that was like a brother to me, that i did not want us to socialise any more. I did not like who i was
with this person and always ended up drunk with him. I found it very hard to say no whenever he asked to me to go for a drink. Telling him was hard,
i had tried to witness to him to no avail over the years. I believed that i had to cut ties with this person. It was a strong impression and I am sure
the Lord wanted me to take this step for my friend wanted the world and i wanted the Lord. The two do not mix, i know from experience.
Since all this happened my wife and I have grown so much in our walk with the Lord God. We no longer watch tv and have thrown out music and video
that we feel would cause offence to the Lord. This gives us so much more time together, both as a couple and with the Lord. Its amazing!
Looking back, my depression was the symptom of guilt for my sin. Satan likes us to wallow in all this as we become ineffectual for Christ whilst we
are. The Lord gave me a long hard lesson and praise him for that. Hindsight is great, i can see why i went through all the troubles i have had. The
lord put me through the furnace when i did not listen and did not trust him.
It has been a long couple of years, but at last i am free in Christ from my depression. The Lord is wise, Heather and Have prayed for a baby, but up
until recently i really was in no state to be a good Christian dad. The Lord now feels that I am as we have found out Heather is pregnant. It's
only been a few weeks, God willing the baby will be born and it will be normal and healthy.
With all things you can ask the Lord for more faith, he will give it to you if your our genuine in heart. I have done and he moved in a massive way.
Have youever heard of a vicious circle? Through prayer and study you can replace this with a wonderful circle of Gods love.
All the best
Never give up in prayer as the Lord truely rewards
[edit on 20/5/2008 by drevill]