my friend is dying of cancer she needs help in beleiving

reply to post by idle_rocker


why is everyone making me out to be some sort of bad guy on here? i'm simply stating to follow the friends wishes.

if she wants help with believing, by all means, extend it

i'm just a neutral participant in this thread, that's all. i'm trying to make peace and yet all others seek is conflict.

Ah yes, the conflict issue and the poor little me syndrome. I seek no conflict with you, hun. You just seem to naturally draw it to yourself. I just don't know what it is about you...but it's true. For some reason, we just can't help ourselves. (Please note sarcasm in typing)


But since I'm a psych major, I'll see if I can figure it out from just the few posts I've contributed to with you. Not that you'll really care, so I'll keep my findings to myself. Makes for good study anyway.

I will contribute to this thread in just a little bit because I have a lot to say about death and dying.




[edit on 4/5/08 by idle_rocker]

reply to post by meremortal


I am so very sorry for your friend and what you are going through. I cannot even imagine how difficult this must be. I offer my thoughts and prayers for you both in this time and keep vigil space in your honors.

This member is awesome I speak with her all the time and she really does "it" for me as far as believing:

www.belowtopsecret.com...

MM, I sent you a link in U2U to help your friend. I think you will find it helps very much with dying, knowing what life is and what the purpose of dying is.

Please feel free to u2u me if you need any help with it as it is a little difficult to read.

I_R

reply to post by idle_rocker


wow, more personal attacks against me, not saying that i'm surprised

the point is that people here are misconstruing my post as if i'm being argumentative. i'm simply saying that mm should help out, regardless of what the help requested is.

right now it's help with finding faith, but it might switch to not wanting to hear about it anymore.

i'm offering sound advice and you're questioning why i'm even here, "this isn't poor little me" syndrome, it's my pointing out someone trying to pick a fight.

Since this person did not build a life of faith, by continously hearing God's Word.
Her trial is greatly increased.
Be willing to show her, you are with her in her trial. Spend as much time with her as you can. Share as much of God's word with her as she will allow. Especially the Psalms. Which are the words of comfort that got many others through their, life and death trials.
As Job said. "though he slay me, yet will
I trust him".

Don't think of your friend dying of cancer, don't even think she's going to die. If she is battling cancer the least you can be is supportive and optimistic that she will get through it. You need to create a stress-free and loving environment for her. I've always believe that a person will live as long as the have the will to live, and in order to have the will to live have to first believe you will. And all talk about her dying isn't going to help much.

But lets talk faith now. I'm just going to say having a little faith doesn't hurt. I believe faith gives people something to cling on to, it brings reassurance and comfort, and thats what people needs from time to time. But, I don't think having faith alone will solve everything, we already heard about the diabetic girl. A little of determination and effort from the individual is required as well.

But like I said before, try to create a warm and loving environment for her battle her illness. I believe she can over come it, if she doesn't have faith in God, she should at least have faith in herself that she will survive, in faith that those around her still love her and are trying to help me. And you need to have faith in her, regardless of her religious standing.

Trust me. Positive Reinforcement and thinking is key!! Best of wish to your friend!!! with Love from a far!

[edit on 5-4-2008 by skyblueff0]

Meremortal, allow me to apologize on behalf of a certain member on here. It is a shame that a thread dealing with a topic this momentous had to be partly derailed.

I guess some people hold nothing in life sacred.

Now please, let the thread move on.

Meremortal

Basically, we all want to just encourage you. Nothing we can say or do actually creates faith, but the things we do can be the means of fanning the flame, so many of us want to share little things that we have found helpful.

So come on, people, lets bring out a few gems worthy of the situation.

Before I was a Christian there was more swearing and blaspheming that came out of my mouth than you can imagine, and I was dreadfully violent. When I look back, then look at the Son of God on the cross, paying my debt, I find it difficult to express what I feel.

Thank goodness for hymns, though. They help the soul express its gratitude, and God himself rejoices to hear the love of his child.

Here's one that I've been singing all day while thinking about your friend:

My Jesus, I love Thee, I know Thou art mine
For Thee all the follies of sin I resign
My gracious Redeemer, my saviour art Thou
If ever I loved Thee, my Jesus, 'tis now.

I love Thee because Thou hast first loved me
And purchased my pardon on Calvary's tree
I love thee for wearing the thorns on Thy brow
If ever I loved Thee, my Jesus 'tis now

I will love Thee in life, I will love Thee in death
And praise Thee as long as Thou lendest me breath
And say, when the death-dew lies cold on my brow
If ever I loved Thee, my Jesus, 'tis now

In mansions of glory and endless delight
I'll ever adore Thee in Heaven so bright
I'll sing with the glittering crown on my brow
If ever I loved Thee, my Jesus, 'tis now.

Source: Christian Hymns


Here's a link to the hymn in case you don't know the tune:

www.youtube.com...

Note: 'mansions' comes from Jesus' own words: "In My Father's house are many mansions... I am going away to prepare a place for you" (John 14:2)

The 'crown' is something like a garland that Christ presents to his children in Heaven. (Revelation 2:10 & Revelation 4:10)

And now something for you, meremortal, as you testify to God's love:

www.youtube.com...

reply to post by thehumbleone


thank you for apologizing on behalf of yourself. i threw in my two cents regarding treatment of a person on their deathbed, treatment that in no way contradicted this thread and you attacked me

i hold something in life sacred, personal determination. that was what i was trying to protect.


anyway, meremortal, just be there as a good friend above all else. that's the best thing you can do. a good friend is there in whatever way needed, so do what you can to make her last bit of time as comfortable for her. help her with her crisis of faith, but make sure that you're also just there as a person to share a good laugh with.

i just want to emphasize friendship here, it's something very important to all of us. maybe helping her realize that you're there for her will help her with her struggle to believe, as it would make believing that god is there for her easier.

[edit on 4/6/08 by madnessinmysoul]

I do have to wonder why you thought thehumbleone was apologizing based on your post...he/she could as easily have been apologizing for me. Or did I misunderstand what you were saying? It happens.

However, I find this last post of yours very uplifting and nice of you. I must commend you on your ability to be sympathetic in time of sorrow. Those were very kind words.

MM, I hope you got my u2u and find that information helpful.

Originally posted by madnessinmysoul


thank you for apologizing on behalf of yourself. i threw in my two cents regarding treatment of a person on their deathbed, treatment that in no way contradicted this thread and you attacked me

You're welcome.

i hold something in life sacred, personal determination. that was what i was trying to protect.

Wow, that is noble.

Madness I know we've always disagreed, but deep down I can sense that you actually love me so I'll excuse whatever you do.

Can we please get back to the thread now.

What I think is pretty sad?

Is the fact that there are those who are emotionally oblivious to other's plights, and that they must think it their civic duty of some sorts, to come in and provide a callous synopsis that blankets all their statements/beliefs, in one feld swoop, in order to satisfy their own insecurities, or a general faximile thereof.

When the sensitivites of others are swept aside to include only words - that project encyclopedias/dictionaries and blunt statements, we have lost our loving humanity - an inate nature that should prevail amongst everything else.

A dear soul came forward, and expressed a dire concern.

(paraphrasing) "If a man comes forward and ask for a fish...Do we throw him a stone?" NO/

A member of our ATS community came forward and asked for more than a stone.

~Ducky~

Dear OP,

reply to post by TheDuckster


Emotional intelligence is a painful thing to lack.

reply to post by thehumbleone

Emotional intelligence is a painful thing to lack.

The very idea of melding our 'emotional' with the 'intellibence' may be painful to some

We will become truely human, when we acknowledge and take responsibility for ALL THAT WE ARE -as one.

Until then, I espect no more, from our brothers and sisters.

~Ducky~

Originally posted by meremortal
my friend is dying and she has not long to live.

she asked me how does she have faith or really beleive in God? Like the faith i have in God! she has a doubt in her mind, she is frightened that she won't go to heaven/the afterlife because of this doubt!

I'm an atheist now but my impression of Jesus [growing up] was that ultimately it was actions that mattered most.. [message thats important] otherwise heaven would be full of greedy fat cats who were very strong believers but not very nice people. It's the beliefs she lives by that are most important.. not her doubts while dieing.

I hope she finds some peace with this.

[edit on 6-4-2008 by riley]

MM, everyone has doubts about their faith...even the most devout of us. That's why it's called faith. It's something we can't touch, or feel, or smell. We can have a very strong feeling as new Christians, but soon that feeling fades, just like in a long-time marriage.

She need not worry that her faith is not strong enough for her to live with God in eternity. God knows what she is going through and his love is big enough for both of them. He won't forget her even if she feels like he has.

Feelings are just that...feelings. They come and go. Some days are better than others. But God knows if she belongs to him, or even if she wants to be one of his, and he won't let her down.

I hope this helped, but I think the information I sent you in U2U will help even more.

Take care, and God Bless.

reply to post by riley


Wow, that was a very good post. Gotta agree with you.

Hope I don't die anytime soon or I'm mucked lol.

edit: good post too idle_rocker.

[edit on 6-4-2008 by thehumbleone]

reply to post by idle_rocker

everyone has doubts about their faith...even the most devout of us. That's why it's called faith. It's something we can't touch, or feel, or smell.

Exactly!

There is much more than the physcial around us (and much more than the neurons firing up when we breathe our last.

I would think that if I was on my deathbed, I would want my loved ones around me, talking to me/with me, about everything. I would want my last days to be comforting; not only to myself, but others.

If I wasn't on my deathbed, and am striving to heal, I would still want others to be around; no matter what.

I would want the best thoughts and prayers about me. I wouldn't want to hear someone reciting from a textbook about other stuffs. (Crinkling my nose now?)

~Ducky~

Tell your friend that it's not the strength of their faith that matters. It's the strength of what they have faith in that really counts.

You could be deathly afraid of walking across a bridge but the bridge doesn't care if you're afraid. All that matters is that you took a step out on to bridge. You don't have to have strong faith for the bridge to work.