posted on Mar, 30 2008 @ 07:53 AM
To help me makes sense of my experience!
I'm not sure if this is the appropriate forum but here goes.
I encountered a demon. I realize that sounds silly to most, and of course I have no proof beyond my testimony. but in my heart and mind I cannot
deny my experience, just as none of you can prove, or deny, that you love you mothers, or dogs. So dismiss or engage as you will.
I had a girlfriend. Extremely intelligent, also extrememly emotionally stunted. Her childhood dog died and she didnt, or couldn't shed a tear.
But I knew by looking into her eyes that there was a deep well of untapped emotional and spiritual potential inside her, as it is with all of us
So in encouraged her to *feel*. I taught her to laugh, and to cry. Slowly she emerged from her shell that she had walled up against the world; she
was able to finally feel the emotions she had suppressed for so long in self defense.
But it spilled out too quickly, it seems. It exploded out of her, she wasn't able to deal with her newfound feelings that she had ignored for so
long. Once she began to feel she didn't know how to deal with her percived 'weakness', she couldn't deal with actually caring. It burst out of
her, finally bubbling to the surface, unstoppable, in the form of a nervous breakdown.
Unrelenting anxiety. Panic attacks every hour or so. I cradled her as she rocked back and fourth, screaming into a pillow, if I was lucky. Non
functional. Totally fu*ked up, a literal basket case. She told me every day that she couldn't stand being herself.
Seems like the only thing that would subdue the pain would be when she cut herself witha razor. Imagine your loved one with bleeding wounds on her
arms everytime she went to the bathroom; imagine wondering how far she would go. Imagine seeing her in so much pain that you actually contemplated
giving her that razor that was her only release.
Bottom line she asked me to commit her, but the thought of her strapped to a bed in a white room freaked me out, so I told her we would get through it
Turns out we did.
We went to sleep side by side one night after a herrendous bout of panic, Adivan the only escape for her. I watched her sleep and wished her an out
from her peronal hell. I lied down beside her and slept.
I woke up in a state of sleep paralyisis, which I get from time to time, enough to know what's happening when I do wake up to it. I couldn't move,
but I knew not to panic and moved my eyes to my alarm clock; it read 6:15am. My poor lady slept to my left.
*As soon* as I moved my eyes towards the clock, and evil presence entered my feild of vision. It was preceeded by an awful WOOSHING sound, like that
out of a horror film. WOOOOSH! I got louder and louder as the demon moved infront of my face. WOOOOOSH! Louder and louder.
This was literally the most terrifying moment of my life. From my left, a disembodied head floated over my face. It was gortesque - something purely
out of the most horrific nightmare, but I was fully aware of my situation. This was no dream at least to me. WOOOOOSH!
It was cyclopitc; it had a giant pit where it's eye should have been, in the middle of its face. The lights were low in the room, and the sun had
just begun to peek its way through the light curtains. Its face was shrouded in darkness, but I could make out its eye and mouth, rotted and
disfigured. The mouth wasn't a mouth at all, but a *pit*, and flaps of dangling flesh hung around it sickeningly. I was as if the mouth was
*ripped* into it's face.
The demon emenated pure evil. 3 inches from my face, it sat menacingly, and I could feel it's pure negativity feeding off my terror. I survived on
my fear, I realized even in my state of mind numbing horror. It literally emenated all things evil and vile, like corrupted sun rays. Pure evil and
fear personified. It hovered in my face and tormented me.
I was paralyzed not only...
[edit on 30-3-2008 by Neo_Serf]