Monogomy? is it becoming outdated and old fashioned???

For those who dont know Monogamy is being exclusive to one partner, whether sexually, emotionally or anything else...

I have noticed a trend lately where monogamy seems to be becoming a thing of the past. The reason humans are monogomous is religious beliefs which may now be becoming old fashioned.

I personally am of the opinion that its good to have one partner whom your emotionally attached to but have the freedom to date, sleep with, or just be romantic with others as well... i just feel that if you have the longing (lust) for another human other than your partner you should let instinct prevail and go for it.

I however dont do this as my girlfriend has always been adamant we have to be exclusive with each other... but recently she;s been dropping hints that maybe we should still be together but not in an entirely exclusive way... this may have saved our relationship coz the urge to 'play' has been building up in me, and i'm not one to do things behind her back so the only way to quell the urge would have been to be single again... maybe she;s notcied something different about me and brought it up which excites me... the only problem is she feels society would frown down upon such a relationship...

But i have noticed in many mens and womens magazines that monogomy seems to be a thing of the past... having many partners seems to be quite normal... obviously you would have to take measures against STD's if being sexual with more than one partner but what do people think? I know the religious types would disagree but i want to hear everyones opinions (and hopefully lets keep it unoffensive and please dont attack other peoples opinions)

Me and mine have been "exclusive to one partner" For about 25 years now. Dont have to worry about aids, etc

But I grew up in the 60s and she in the 70s and we pretty much got all that out of our system back then

[Edited on 15-2-2004 by Amuk]

Originally posted by Amuk
Me and mine have been "exclusive to one partner" For about 25 years now. Dont have to worry about aids, etc

With marriage and stuff i agree when you make a life commitment it should be just that. But i guess it comes down to each individuals personality... how do feel about other people in non-exclusive relationships (obviously taking precautions against HIV and what not)

Marcel Marceau, Silent Movie...

"Non".

how do feel about other people in non-exclusive relationships (obviously taking precautions against HIV and what not)

Whatever floats your boat but I have known several couples that tried that route and it NEVER worked out. I am not saying it cant I am just saying I have never seen it happen.

I'm twice married. My first wife and I both fooled around on each other, that lasted 3 years. My current relationship is 16 years and kicking, in the bedroom as well. I think that it's youth, get that out of the way before you commit.

Originally posted by intrepid
I'm twice married. My first wife and I both fooled around on each other, that lasted 3 years. My current relationship is 16 years and kicking, in the bedroom as well. I think that it's youth, get that out of the way before you commit.

Thats exaclt what we were thinking when we discussed it, we're both 19 and the thought of not being a teenager anymore is kinda daunting... we want to stay together but we also want to do all the things you can do while young... or in your words get it out of our systems... the funny thing is her best friend is a strict catholic so this could be interesting to see her reaction

Originally posted by specialasianX
Monogomy? is it becoming outdated and old fashioned???

I agree with you. At 100 %. But my wife doesn't agree with you & I.

Seriously, monogamy is good for me, so I won't change. Also, as I've a wife, I know that being in touch with a woman is already a problem, so I don't dare to think about the problems if I was in touch with more than 1.

I was married at 20, she was 18, that's too young most of the time. As for what you are talking about, that would seldom work with people older than you. Jealousy creeps in. You may think that your girlfriend could become jealous of you and her but the truth is you may become jealous of her and her. Commitment is a long way off if you are even thinking about this.

Commitment is a long way off if you are even thinking about this.

I agree it would be better just to go your own way and be done with it, if you wanted to get back togather later so be it.

We are creatures with the urge to procreate. There is no such thing as monogamy. However, there is one thing that forms the basis of all of our relationships. This is key. If you're putting it in the context of social practices (monogamy, polygamy) you're missing the point. That one thing is trust.

Which is why additional partners do work for a few, not usually. Monogamy is not unknown in the animal world. See doves, If their mate dies they do not even seek another, and probably die.

Monogamy is not natural in the animal world (Dateline NBC did a report a week or so ago about this), so why should it be natural for us? After all, we are all animals.
Its been shown that the animals that we have been told to be monogamous, are not. They may have a mate, but when that mate isn't around, they were found to be banging someone else secretly, lol. And this was equal for both sexes. Reminds you of "humans" doesn't it?

This not true of ALL animal. Like I said doves, love birds, popuise, many animals are monogamous. And were at the top, why shouldn't we be better.

I think we have developed alot of trust in the last few months... she knows i get urges to pursue other intersts but have held back...

We also realise that this (if we decide to try) will either strenghten our relationship or destroy it... its a risk. I'm all up for it but i'm letting her decide as she is a little more conservative than me (she's only ever been with 3 guys all long term commiting relationships, me i've been with countless chicks all eithero ne nighters or short term kinda thing) but she does want to get out there and do things while she's young... if she decided against it though i would respect that and stay exclusive.

A note though we have decided there would be certain rules (like dont get with people we both know, dont be with nyone else in each others presence, tell each other about each one (not the details just i was with her), and definately do not let our friends know as her friend is catholic and my friends would never let me or her hear the end of it, or might one to get in the action) but i'm all up for it coz if it works it could save what is the first long term relationship i've been in but then again ti could # things up big time

Well with Barbie and Ken in splitsville, and Barbie w/ a new Bo 9 months later, ..

What do kids learn,...that people split, remain freinds, and find a new.

It is rare I believe in the mammal world to remain monogamous, most of the time the male is around only as long as the woman needs him to get food and protect the new child, and sometimes only around to make the child.

I heard somewhere that humans have a three/seven year cycle, between child bearing, and divorce, based on the animal needs inborn. (the seven year itch?)

Dude, I don't think you are 1 in a hundred. Even if you were, is she? Listening to you I think that you should have fun, but don't expect there to be a relationship with this woman at the end. At least not yet.

Sorry, I just caught your name. If you live in Asia I recomend that you talk to a person you trust about this as the views on sexuallity are different in this part of the world.

Nah i was born in malaysia but live in AUS... so social/casual relationships (no-exclusive) are quite normal...

Maybe we need a topic are here at ATS on: relationships? I guess BTS is better for that, Oh they do have one already.