Strict parents

We'll here are my grades

1st 9weeks /2nd 9weeks /Midterm Exam /Semester
IB Precalc/ A A A A
IB French II/ A B+ B+ A
AP Stat/ A A B A
AP Euro Hist./ A A A A
IB Chem./ A A A A
AP English/ A A B+ A

WHY am I telling you this? We'll lets see, my parents just got pissed because I have 3 B's in my semester exams which does not matter as colleges only look at my semester grade, Im in my sophomore year, and school isn't easy, however they cannot understand how hard I am trying to acheive as high as I can. Those classes are not easy in my point of view, but all my parents say is that "You're Chinese, you need to do 10 times as better as Americans, US Schools are easy, so why the hell did you get B's? From now on you cannot play video games anymore."

I AM SICK AND TIRED OF THIS #, SERIOUSLY.

By the way, they accused me of giving it late to them because they think that I will be too afraid to show them my grades.

[edit on 1/30/2008 by die_another_day]

Well, youve made it this long, you can make it another two years till your off to college..
btw, what video games do you play?

From a Mom:

1. First and foremost, do not let this get "inside you". You have to decide that what you are doing and who you are is far above what can be said or done to you...even when it is your parents. (And believe me, I know what it feels like to have your parents not see the person you are.) SO...first task is - next semester (or any interim report cards between then) you hand that report to them with your head held high and then you turn on that defense mechanism that we all have that stops the flow of information from your ears to your heart. Just shut it off.

You're doing awesome girlfriend...and remember that. You will be what you want to be. You will enjoy life and you will find a career you will excell at and love. So this distractive business with the discrepancy between who you are and what bar your parents' have set - it's a temporary, ineffectual irritation. Treat it as such (but continue to show them their respect).

2. U.S. vs China - yeah whatever. Wish I could say that to them.

3. Continue to apply yourself at the level that is apparent through your grades. You are working for YOU and YOUR FUTURE. See the goal in your mind (which has nothing to do with your parents' expectations) and work daily for it.

And u2u if you need to talk.

I am proud of your success...you go girl!

[edit on 1-30-2008 by Valhall]

reply to post by die_another_day

Very good grades. Keep up the excellent work.

Believe it or not it's your parents job to push you to be and do the very best you can. I had the same problem in school. I never came up to the standards my parents set for me even though I always made at least the A/B honor roll. Their words cut me to the core when they told me I was capable of much better. I thought I was doing a good job but it was never good enough for them.

I am thankful now that they cared enough to push me to do better. The spirit of always trying to be the best I can be has carried me far in my life.

May your wishes and dreams come true.

Rigel can give you french private lessons if you're as much pretty as your non-chinese avatar.

More seriousl -,and to not be bannished - please look at some Victor Hugo's poems and while you'll understand that he wrote in the most beautiful langage in the entire world, your parents won't blast you anymore as you'll find the way to get only "A"'s - except for the last one i let you manage - as you're obviously sensible enough to understand the meaning of this very phrase.

Get it ?

Don't forget to vote Ron Paul however.

Originally posted by die_another_day
We'll here are my grades

1st 9weeks /2nd 9weeks /Midterm Exam /Semester
IB Precalc/ A A A A
IB French II/ A B+ B+ A
AP Stat/ A A B A
AP Euro Hist./ A A A A
IB Chem./ A A A A
AP English/ A A B+ A

WHY am I telling you this? We'll lets see, my parents just got pissed because I have 3 B's in my semester exams which does not matter as colleges only look at my semester grade, Im in my sophomore year, and school isn't easy, however they cannot understand how hard I am trying to acheive as high as I can. Those classes are not easy in my point of view, but all my parents say is that "You're Chinese, you need to do 10 times as better as Americans, US Schools are easy, so why the hell did you get B's? From now on you cannot play video games anymore."

I AM SICK AND TIRED OF THIS #, SERIOUSLY.

By the way, they accused me of giving it late to them because they think that I will be too afraid to show them my grades.

[edit on 1/30/2008 by die_another_day]

Well man, I have had my fair share of friends who have been under the rule of strict parents. Sometimes this has a completely horrible effect. Because the children feel they can never please their parents, they make unreasonable demands on themselves...the end result is unhappiness throughout life....chasing things that you can never capture.

(perhaps a description of many people who are interested in alot of the stuff that is posted on these boards) not meant as an insult.

I used to get A's and B's almost all of the time. My parents wanted straight A's. Though, eventually I stopped trying, never was good enough to make perfect A's.

Livre I Aurore, 3

MES DEUX FILLES

Dans le frais clair-obscur du soir charmant qui tombe,
L'une pareille au cygne et l'autre à la colombe,
Belles, et toutes deux joyeuses, ô douceur !
Voyez, la grande soeur et la petite soeur
Sont assises au seuil du jardin, et sur elles
Un bouquet d'oeillets blancs aux longues tiges frêles,
Dans une urne de marbre agité par le vent,
Se penche, et les regarde, immobile et vivant,
Et frissonne dans l'ombre, et semble, au bord du vase,
Un vol de papillons arrêté dans l'extase.



La Terrasse, près Enghien, juin 1842.


Victor Hugo, Les Contemplations

(copyleft)



[edit on 30-1-2008 by Rigel]

[edit on 30-1-2008 by Rigel]

I understand, I think it's because you parents probably did not go to an american school, they assume that it's easy, they might think that your lucky and it's easy for you to get education get good job, unlike when they were young, they think life here is easy, but they are not you, they don't truly know how easy it is for you. Good luck.

I actually think life is harder now, I mean in the old days you could just get any job, and go on from there, now you need a paper with special words on it to even get an interview, they don't want to even see you face or who you are, just some paper with words.

[edit on 30-1-2008 by _Phoenix_]

The only thing that I ask of my son is that he does what he knows that hes capable of doing AND that he does his best. He pretty much makes all A's but usually a couple of 6 weeks, every year, he will make mid Bs in at least one subject.
When that happens, I dont tell him that I'm disappointed, even if I secretly am, I tell him that Im still proud of him and ask him if hes having issues with the teacher, the subject matter or if he just got lazy lol..
His usual reply is that he just let his guard down, got wrapped up with his friends or girls and hell do better the rest of the year, which he usually does..

My Dad was a cop when I was growing up and he ran our or as he would remind me, (his) home, like a military boot camp, including busting our butts lol.
I always said I would never have kids but if I did I would not just be a father, I would also be a friend to them and never lay a finger on them.
Thats exactly the kind of relationship that I have with my son and despite all of the criticism from just about everyone about having this type of (loose) relationship with your kids, it has worked out great so far and he is 14, well mannered and well behaved..
Positive reinforcement works 10 THOUSAND times better than grilling them down or busting their butts..

btw, I dont claim to be the best parent or to have the "holy grail" of parenting skills, my way has worked for me, it may not work for everyone though.

Those are good grades.

I know how annoying parents can be, you're almost going to college so I'm sure you can last two more years.

Good luck and don't let them get on your nerves too bad.

(Removed Inappropriate Text)

Mod Note: Courtesy is Mandatory - Please Review

[edit on 31-1-2008 by chissler]

We'll here is my question.
Who is to blame?
I blame myself all the time but it doesn't help.
Teacher? Parents? Culture? Race? Genetics? Economic status? Adolescence?

Yes, if you say I should take all the blame then I will.

reply to post by die_another_day


Grades are important, but they're not the whole ticket. I actually think the biggest reason I got acceptance was because I had good, but not great grades, and that I participated in other school activities.

In addition they also look for improvement. Lots of kids are smart enough that they can get good grades, but since I played in the marching band, orchestra and jazz band, and went from last chair to first chair by the time I was a senior, that shows dedication, sticking to it and actual talent.

The students that succeed at College are the 'solid, well-rounded students'. The Valedictorian of my class flunked out the first year at University, by the way. (He just went wild when away from his restrictive parents).

Are you doing any clubs or other activities?

PS - I don't want to undermine the goals your parents have set for you, though. Try to hang in there and do your best for the next couple years! Good luck!

Hah, I play instruments but not in the school band. I'm trying out for tennis. And I'm pretty sure that I will volunteer somewhat "more".

This has nothing to do with a conspiracy. Next time atleast give it some spin, if you will.

reply to post by die_another_day


As long as your doing your best, noone can demand more of you!

I hate it when people equals grades with knowledge and intelligence.

It should be though off for what it is...namely a guideline for you to see how well you have understood the material teached, compared to the standards!

I notised you got B's mostly in language...well I have learned several language without ever having used them in any jobrelated context!

Parents need to support their kids to be the best they can be, and not "slamming" them for getting only almost top grades! com on...

Ask your parents to see their grade books, if they havent burned them in shame allready

Your parents mean well and want what is best for you. You should keep in mind your high school grades, SAT scores, etc. will not make or break you as an adult. There are plenty fo successful people out there who had mediocre SAT scores, and plenty of losers out there who had high SAT scores. (I am almost 30 years old and got a near perfect SAT score and had straight A's in high school, and I drive a shabby car and live in a shabby home.)

You should still however work hard for the next few years of your life while you are in high school, college, and graduate school. Try and learn from your classes rather than do only what is necessary to do well on exams. Enjoy school because even though it is stressful for you on account of your parents, a day at school is a heck of a lot better than a day at some lousy job. You may not get straight A's, but you will do well. If you do well in school, you will have more opportunities available to you.

You may not want to be a doctor, lawyer, or banker. You may be happier doing something else that pays less or is less prestigious. Nevertheless it is good to be in a position when you can turn down some opportunities in favor of others, rather than getting stuck in some dead end job that you have to take because you have no better choice.

Originally posted by Zenskeptical
This has nothing to do with a conspiracy. Next time atleast give it some spin, if you will.

Maybe we should give the kid a break. The kid needs an outlet to vent. Of course, we can give it a spin. The kid and her parents seem highly preoccupied with grades, SAT scores, and other "numbers." There are large industries out there that capitalize on his preoccupation. Parents will spend hundreds, sometimes thousands of dollars on tutors, counselors, so they can get higher SAT scores, better grades, or turn in a college admission application that somehow rises above the rest.

Originally posted by Valhall
From a Mom:

1. First and foremost, do not let this get "inside you". You have to decide that what you are doing and who you are is far above what can be said or done to you...even when it is your parents. (And believe me, I know what it feels like to have your parents not see the person you are.) SO...first task is - next semester (or any interim report cards between then) you hand that report to them with your head held high and then you turn on that defense mechanism that we all have that stops the flow of information from your ears to your heart. Just shut it off.

You're doing awesome girlfriend...and remember that. You will be what you want to be. You will enjoy life and you will find a career you will excell at and love. So this distractive business with the discrepancy between who you are and what bar your parents' have set - it's a temporary, ineffectual irritation. Treat it as such (but continue to show them their respect).

I have to agree with Valhall, but I'd like to add LOVE your parents despite their faults. They want what is best for you because they love you. They wont be around forever, so do as Val suggests when you need to, but open your heart for all of the other times... You'll be glad you did later when they are gone.