Sperm Donor Ordered to Pay Child Support for 18-Year-Old

Sperm Donor Ordered to Pay Child Support for 18-Year-Old

www.foxnews.com

A New York doctor who donated his sperm to help a gay colleague conceive has been ordered to pay child support for the boy, now an 18-year-old living in Oregon, the New York Post reported Sunday.

The donor was a married doctor at a Long Island hospital in the late 1980s when he donated his sperm to a female hospital resident who was trying to have a baby with her lesbian partner, the Post reported. Although the donor gave up all claims and rights to the child, he allowed his name to be put on the birth certificate.

(visit the link for the full news article)

This is absolutely unreal. A guy tries to do a nice thing for a lesbian couple, and 18 years later he is on the hook for child support and college costs. Crap like this makes me sick, sick, sick. Why would any guy in his right mind donate his sperm if stuff like this is going to happen.

www.foxnews.com
(visit the link for the full news article)

reply to post by traderonwallst


I find that as completely strange. If he gave up all rights would that not mean that he gave up his financial responsibility as well? What is the judge’s deal not to mention the parents of the teen?

I wonder if this will not be a new stepping stone for those who have sought out sperm/egg donation. Think about the repercussions throughout the world of sperm egg donation. There would most certainly be additional paper work or it might be that you could end up being financially responsible for your “kids”.

I wonder if it does not have to do with the fact that he had contact with the child for such a long time and provided gifts and money before. Maybe the parents of the boy missed the “extra” help and are looking for a free ride.
Somehow I think we are missing a great big portion of this storey in the way that someone must have really ticked someone off at some point and this is just retaliation.

You would think that donation would be safe from this sort of thing. Maybe the paperwork had a loophole or flaw in it somewhere because I just cannot see how this ruling is possible. I will admit though I’m somewhat ignorant on the laws surrounding donation but there has got to be some sort of protection from this type or robbery which is what I see this as.
Raist

Ok the best I can get from here is that he “blurred the lines of donor and father with the gifts and money” and the “rulings over paternal rights from artificial insemination remain murky”.

I would guess that the mothers had not problem with the guy so long as he was willingly giving things that they did not have to pay for but as soon as he stopped they became upset. This is I will speculate because the kid might be wanting some very expensive education or they just want some easy cash.

The child support it seems will be based on the mother’s income, the father’s income, and the mother’s partner (who is also a doctor). This looks like it might be a very expensive choice on his part so much for being a nice guy and trying to do something good in someone’s life.

I still think it’s is wrong but though I guess I can see where the loop hole to follow through with legal action lies. If he had donated and left it at that I do not see that he could have been touched for child support. It still leaves a sour taste on ones mouth though to think that this can happen.

Raist

That was one expensive rechargable flashlight job.

reply to post by traderonwallst


Ridiculous. I'm sorry this is just a case of women/gay's rights trump all. Who cares if the guy sent gifts and cards signed "dad." The child was only 0-3 years old. I bet the child was a good student but not exceptional. The mother (and her partner) aren't poor enough for the child to get grants and they aren't wealthy enough to pay college tuition. So they turn to the doctor because he's got money. Have the kid take out loans. He'll probably go to class more if he knows he's paying for his own education

In my opinion if your considering being a sperm donor you should do it expecting responsibilty, I mean in the end it will still truly be your gentic son or daughter, and thats a great responsibilty, not something that someone should do without much thought.

[edit on 3-12-2007 by _Phoenix_]

reply to post by _Phoenix_


WHAT?

So does the same apply if I donate blood or an organ?

"Hey! It's your blood/kidney in me pal!!! You should have expected SOME responsibility in taking care of it! You would have had to if it were still in you!!!"


Craziness!


The purpose of sperm donation (and egg donation) is to HELP infertile (and, sadly, gay couples) have children. It is supposed to be an act of goodwill and compassion to those who wouldn't otherwise experience having children of their own.

To say that someone who donated an egg or sperm should be financially responsible for what that egg/sperm created through the efforts of others to have children is LUDICROUS!! If anything, the judge should have ordered the couple that had the child to pay the donor for enabling them to experience the beauty of having children.


Jasn


Edit to add: ANY real parent will tell you that a sperm deposit or the spreading of one's legs are NOT all it takes to be a parent.

[edit on 3-12-2007 by SimiusDei]

reply to post by _Phoenix_


What about when one places a child up for adoption should they also be held accountable down the line for child support? If so should it be the mother or the father or both?

To me donating sperm is not much different than donating egg or putting a child up for adoption. The sperm/egg come together to start the formation of a child so putting one up for adoption cannot be seen as much different.
I know that many adopted children try to search out their parents as they grow up some for money others because they are looking for their biological heritage. It seems many of those parents are much better protected from this sort of legal action though I may be wrong.

I think it is more of a free money issue than an actual child support issue. This is just one more example of a system that gives hand outs to those who do not deserve it while screwing over the person who had good intentions at heart.

Raist

reply to post by traderonwallst

The father broke the 'oral agreement' and started sending the kid prezzies with "from dad" so obviously he's had more emotional investment than the official heavily biased atypical of fox media story lets on. imo there's alot more behind this.. say.. a respectable upstanding married doctor has a fling with a bisexual co-worker and they call the resulting pregnancy 'donated' as to not damage reputations and piss his wife off. The 'lesbian' sueing for child support? sounds like the actions of a scorned ex. What kind of married man donates sperm to a co-worker just to be nice? yeah right.. I doubt there were test tubes involved in that conception.

[edit on 3-12-2007 by riley]

Originally posted by SimiusDei
reply to post by _Phoenix_

 

WHAT?

So does the same apply if I donate blood or an organ?

"Hey! It's your blood/kidney in me pal!!! You should have expected SOME responsibility in taking care of it! You would have had to if it were still in you!!!"

Yep. If you donate a liver lobe, you are obligated to provide free taxi service from the bar to the guys house...for LIFE!

Better check your Driver's license. If you checked the box, expect a knock on the coffin lid.

I laugh, but, seriously, if you have your name put on the birth certificate, (and/or send gifts) I can see how that would make it 'murky'.

OTOH, this guy could probably still be denied visitation rights if the custodial parents get pissy, dontcha know. (guessing).

Guess the doc should have visited a lawyer before doing it...

When you think about it, is an 'anonymous' sperm donation still really anonymous? The court could supoena the sealed records.

It may have a chilling effect on donations of any kind.

Is the judge really too st00pid to realize that?

The Doc prob. could have it reversed on appeal, but oft times you need a procedural error to get an appeal. (I'm no lawyer)

(pinches self) I'm heading to bed, unless I'm already dreaming.

reply to post by Raist


Though, typically with adoptions there are papers signed regarding said matters... not oral agreements.

There was a similar case a while back where a man had donated to a friend so that she and her partner could conceive. When the women's relationship soured the "friend" came back seeking child support. Actually there were similarities regarding gift giving and such as well.

One of the women in this scenario is also a doctor, so I'd have to wonder if it's truly a money issue or simply a money grab. (?) Though, I would bet this guy is wishing he'd kept those "birthday cards" to himself, right about now.


 

reply to post by 12m8keall2c


I agree about the adoption thing not being so much an oral deal. He did have some legal paperwork of signing away his rights to the child at the start. I’m not sure how this type of paperwork works but I would have thought it would protect him from this sort of thing. Maybe it is simply that he had contact that voided his protection from this though.

You’re probably right about the guy wishing he had kept the cards to himself. He might be wishing even more that he had put more thought into the whole agreement or sought out (more) legal instruction to begin with.

I can see where things got murky and how he ended up with the results that came about. But I think he got a lot more than was bargained for in the beginning that I really am not sure I agree with. A part of me thinks they allowed such interaction to hook him into paying at some point and time, I guess that would be the conspiracy theorist in me though

Raist

Outrageous!!!!
Perhaps he should have kept his 'donation'
Helping out a lesbian friend in this way and then having to pay'CHILD SUPPORT' for that child, a child he helped the otherwise unable couple to concieve/create -he shouldn't be held responsible!
Would donating my egg's hold me accountable for creating another life for another couple unable to produce eggs for themselves??
No wonder there is such a shortage of donations!!

The kid's 18. How do you pay child support for an adult?

I've been in a similar situation before. An ex girlfriend of mine got "married" to her girlfriend and they "wanted my DNA." I knew what was really going on and wisely declined. She was just looking for a way to get out of the relationship and get back with me. Sure enough a year later I got a phone call. Little psycho.

This isn't the first time cases like this have gone to court and the father has lost. Normal donor services provide anonymity. When there is none, what can one expect?

Personally I don't think gay couples should have children just as I don't think people should receive fertility treatments. They're the mules of our species. If nature has built someone in a fashion that shouldn't be able to breed, I think there's a reason. Their genes should not be passed. Adopt.

Originally posted by SimiusDei
reply to post by _Phoenix_

 

WHAT?

So does the same apply if I donate blood or an organ?

"Hey! It's your blood/kidney in me pal!!! You should have expected SOME responsibility in taking care of it! You would have had to if it were still in you!!!"

Craziness!
[edit on 3-12-2007 by SimiusDei]

Ok first of all I dont agree/disagree over the story of this thread, all I was stating is the obvious, that it IS a big responsibilty, and it IS the persons biological son/daughter, therefore you cannot do something like this without excpeting big responsibility and consequences.

LOL you cannot compare donating blood to this, thats just
Craziness! hahaha


[edit on 3-12-2007 by _Phoenix_]

Originally posted by _Phoenix_
In my opinion if your considering being a sperm donor you should do it expecting responsibilty, I mean in the end it will still truly be your gentic son or daughter, and thats a great responsibilty, not something that someone should do without much thought.

[edit on 3-12-2007 by _Phoenix_]

Your missing the point. You are now telling MEN they can no longer donate sperm (without recourse), and ruining the lives of many couples who can not coneive on their own. I knwo many people who have utilized sperm donors for one reason or another. For some reason, working in NY CIty, I hear way too often about problems like this. Surprised no study has ever been done about this and working in NY CIty, although it could just be stress related.

I know no matter how much of a good thing, I would never consider it myself (NOW)

[edit on 3-12-2007 by traderonwallst]

reply to post by Raist


Actually Raist, you bring up another point. The whole adoption thing. Here in NY, the adoptiove parents have little rights. Did you know that a few years after giving up a baby, a mother can still go to court to get that baby back?

Can you imagine raising a child for 4 years and then having the courts decide the baby should go back? Can you imagine having love ripped away from you like that? They say its in the best interest of the child, but how can taking a child away from the only parents they have known be in their best interest? I know 2 couples who have lost children this way, 1 was after 11 months and the other was after 19 months.

It ruined their lives and 1 couple ended up divorcing over the stress. Now who's lives were ruined?????

Originally posted by riley
reply to post by traderonwallst

 

The father broke the 'oral agreement' and started sending the kid prezzies with "from dad" so obviously he's had more emotional investment than the official heavily biased atypical of fox media story lets on. imo there's alot more behind this.. say.. a respectable upstanding married doctor has a fling with a bisexual co-worker and they call the resulting pregnancy 'donated' as to not damage reputations and piss his wife off. The 'lesbian' sueing for child support? sounds like the actions of a scorned ex. What kind of married man donates sperm to a co-worker just to be nice? yeah right.. I doubt there were test tubes involved in that conception.

[edit on 3-12-2007 by riley]

That a whole lot of assumptions. Didn't anyone ever tell you when you assume...you make an "ass" out of "u" and "me". Please don't include me in your assumptions.

Originally posted by traderonwallst


Your missing the point. You are now telling MEN they can no longer donate sperm (without recourse), and ruining the lives of many couples who can not coneive on their own.

Well yeah im not telling, im just stating the truth, its not something that can be done, then you can move on like nothing happened, its something VERY important not something you would forget and ignore about. Ofcourse men can donate their sperm, just that they should realise its not something to be taken lightly.
Donate is a odd word, they are giving their sperm, sex or not, they are STILL the true father, in the real world giving sperm the sex way, then going about and forgetting about the baby, as if it dont excist, not having responsibilty over the baby, well thats what some like to call a bad man.

Ofcourse he doesnt have to be involved at all, but he does have to realise that he has a son/daughter, and that there can be consequences.
Basically you cant go do this thinking you would be free the rest of your life without maybe something happening one day.

[edit on 3-12-2007 by _Phoenix_]