I've cleaned over 15,000 toilets!

That's alot of thrones!

I own and operate my own residential cleaning business. You name it; I've seen and cleaned it all.

There are alot of custom made ones out there, as not everyones' bottom is the same. There are those who needed to raise the toilet up a few inches off the floor. The standard-sized ones today don't cut it. My taller clients complained that when they sat down, their knees were up to their chests! Hence the modifications.

Is this one a "Pee for two, and two for pee":

Two-seater

I've cleaned a few homes that were 4000 sq. ft.! Took me a whole day to do, and when I got home, it was time to flop. ZZzzzzzzzz

One thing I've learned is that you can never have ENOUGH toilets, as you will all agree.



Remember: "How much time you spend in the bathroom depends on which side of the door you are".

World's Biggest Ubercrapper!

[edit on 9-8-2007 by TheDuckster]

[edit on 9-8-2007 by TheDuckster]

[edit on 9-8-2007 by TheDuckster]

Haha, classic Ducky. It takes a special person to clean someone elses crapper i reckon, i sure couldnt do it. Much much much respect!!

Being as i've got 4 kids under 11 at home the toilet is my retreat, to read the paper and think and.....well you get the picture.

How many different names are there for the toilet worldwide. Here's a few aussie names,

The dunny
The bog or boghouse
The loo
The crapper

Crappy thread duckster.

Awww ya dear heart Mojo!

Yes my friend, this is the Ultimate CRAPPY Thread!

I don't toot my horn too much, but I have to say that this is the top of the heap pile...lololol

I found these nicknames from HERE

The John #1
The Crapper #2
The Little Boys Room #3
The Little Girls Room #4
The Can #5
The Potty #6
"The Best Reading Chair!" #7
The Office Chair #8
The Outhouse #9
The S**t Hole #10
The Throne #11
Lavatory #12
Comfort Station #13
Chamber Pot #14
Biffy #15
Restroom #16
Watercloset #17
The Pot #18
Commode #19
Latrine #20
Porcelin Hugger #21


[edit on 9-8-2007 by TheDuckster]

must be a great job cleaning
toilets

no offence

[edit on 9-8-2007 by bodrul]

bodrul,

It's all 'part and parcel' when I clean peoples homes.

The worst part of cleaning toilets is when someone leaves me a 'little gift.

Now I know that none of my customers have a vendetta against me, so I can only assume that they forgot to flush.

This is no consolation whatsoever. After the gagging and retching I do myself, I'll wipe my tear-filled eyes, then get down to business of making their loving little waste disposal all clean and shiny.

Originally posted by TheDuckster
This is no consolation whatsoever. After the gagging and retching I do myself, I'll wipe my tear-filled eyes, then get down to business of making their loving little waste disposal all clean and shiny.

You deserve a medal.
A shiny little porcelain one. On a chain.

Ohh boy i'm gunna love this thread, hehe toilet humour.

Medal? Nah...no need hon.

I do however, like poetic justice.

One time in the not too distant ducky past, one of my clients teenagers left his calling card in le toilet and walked about the house in his usual manner. He came upstairs and farted around in his bedroom, cranking tunes. I just finished cleaning the toilet (previous to that, I had to plunge, as the little darlings were stubborn as ol' hell) when the kid walked by the bathroom, I walked over to him, put my hand out and said "Congradulations". He looked at me weirdly, but took my hand and said, "Um...what for"?.. I let go his hand and said that he should have been in the Guiness book of records for creating the biggest log, and that I had to put my gloved hand down into the toilet to break open the beaver dam!"

He looked at me with horror, looked at my hand and his , then walked away. Needless to say, the kid never left a gift for me again.

[edit on 9-8-2007 by TheDuckster]

I had a teacher back in elementary school, who called it the
"Thundercloset"

I suppose her's would not have been a good one to clean.

Spacedoubt,
I cleaned a 'panic room' closet-sized bathroom once. Pretty interesting things in that place. Wow!

This was a couple of years ago, and my clients at the time wanted me to constantly spruce up their little hide-a-way every once in awhile.

The room was hidden behind one of their bookcases in the master bedroom, and talk about 'camera city'. They may as well have had a direct line to God, because if the main power was cut off in the mansion, there was a private line that booted up in the panic room. There were so many gadgets/supplies/cameras and other goodies. They had a police-dial line that would inform the station of their status; as well as 2-way talking.

Hey! If someone broke into my home, and I had to hole-up somewhere for an extended period of time, Darn tootin, I'd want a toilet installed!


[edit on 9-8-2007 by TheDuckster]

Hey Ducky! In reference to "Poetic Justice" LMFAO. You truly have my admiration for what you endure on a daily basis. I cringe at the thought of cleaning my own bathroom weekly, let alone someone else's .Oh my gosh, thanks for the good laugh, and Ducky if you ever want a day off, come up to the Bay and we'll have a good laugh. OK?

You beat me, I figured 4k for me when working at the state park service. Now there I have some interesting stories for you. People can be amazingly disgusting when it is not their own home.

Now, the first question I always get asked is: who is neater, men or women?

Do you get that?

Originally posted by AccessDenied
Hey Ducky! In reference to "Poetic Justice" LMFAO. You truly have my admiration for what you endure on a daily basis. I cringe at the thought of cleaning my own bathroom weekly, let alone someone else's .Oh my gosh, thanks for the good laugh, and Ducky if you ever want a day off, come up to the Bay and we'll have a good laugh. OK?

lolol Access! Believe it or not, I actually enjoy residential cleaning!

The toilets are a small part of the job. The best part is my customers They come 1st. Seriously. They are my bread and butter and I treat them like GOLD.

I'm looking over at my safety box (contains customers keys)right now, and thinking: "Wow, that's alot of trust these people put in me"! I have a few key rings filled with customers' keys. Each key ring literally holds MILLIONS of dollars on them. The contents of their home, the home, etc. These customers trust that I'm going to clean their homes, and not 'take them to the cleaners'.

Sometimes there is thousands of dollars left out! And when the customer returns home after a long days work, they will find each and every penny left in its original place. People have asked me if I ever felt tempted to take any? Yes. I did feel tempted, but not anymore, I'm what you say 'de-sensitized now'..and even when I was down to almost my last dime, wondering how I was going to get a jug of milk for the fam, I remember the words: "Do unto others, as you would have done to you."

I don't think I could hold my head high in public if I went on a 'thiefing binge'. From time to time I see my customers in stores and am so glad to see them. And you know what? These people actually give me a pat on the back and thank me. Literally.

I have long term customers. I've seen their kids grow up. I'm a ghost that's part of the family. What I mean is, these people have allowed me into their lives, and in some respect, I AM a part of the family.

I remember this one couple that used to fight like cats and dogs. They both worked their arses to the bone, and when they came home they were dead tired. Cleaning their home was probably far from their mind. After they hired me, it was about 1 month later that, the wife told me that I was a life-saver. I looked at her with a perplexed look and asked, "How come?" She said, "It was because of the fact we are both tired, and don't have time to clean, and stuff piled up, is why we fought...and about who was going to do 'which chore'. I pretty much freed up their time schedule, and haven't heard one cross word from either of them.

So much love between those two, they just had a baby a month ago, and now I look after the 3 of them. Probably will get to see the baby grow up too.
*****

All my cleaning is customized around different households. Man oh man, that's ALOT of homes to take care of. But no worries though, Ducky has loads of love to go around.


Life arrives in stages. I don't want to miss a beat.

Toilets are the least of my worries.

Did you ever clean a toilet?

Quite a HUMBLING experience.

Nice stories there Ducky! Well at least life for you isn't: Same shi7 different day. I bet the crap is always diferent.

Ever wondered why Sweetcorn always looks the same on the way out?

Back in the day, when I lived with 3 other guys we all had our names our bedroom door's and the toilet was "Bradley's Office" So you could pop in and have a chat with Brad Pitt.

Sorry - but we thought we were the height of toilet humour!

Other names I've heard; Ze Crappenhouzen, stink box, gas chamber and Hammers house of horror. It starts going down hil fast from there!

MonKey

Ducky,

Very unfortunenate that we lost our cleaning lady last week. She passed way before her time. Been cleaning for my husbands family for 20 years.Her and I used to have nice chats.
She wasn't just our cleaning lady, she was also our friend.

I applaud you, and all people who do the jobs we won't. Who do the jobs we hate, who keep the world running.

On behalf of all of us THANK YOU

What a great thread!

I gave you a star because the title cracked me up.

The crapper is my best friend.

Peace

I warned you Ducky.

Toilet humour, dont shake hands with these guy's.



Graham Norton Show - Ultimate Toilet Humour, Roflmao.



I seriously had tears rolling down my face with that last one.

I've cleaned a number of bathrooms in my life and have come to the conclusion that the female gender are by far nastier than the male gender. Im not just talking about feminine hygiene, im talking about the things that some of them seem to do out of pure spite. Would you have come to any such conclusion in your line of work?