libelous aspersion

Slander

I've lived in the same city for 20 years. I have no criminal record, but my ex husband has been slandering me since I divorced him in 1985. He didn't pay for food or rent, he didn't help move furniture into the apartment, my father had paid it. My father was my friend in the family, he died of cancer in 94, after losing everything trying to recoup on the stock market. I moved everything the first day. The ex stole money from his students and cheated on the results for his masters. The day we married, he said husbands can cheat and wives can't. I filed for divorce after a year. That's when he started calling me a names.

He didn't want to pay child support. He moved out of the city while his daughter was an infant and slandered us long distance. He never even lived in the same city as his child. We had both been students when we divorced. He went on to obtain his PhD. I only managed a BA. He got tenure. I got raped and murdered. After our daughter was a teenager, he started calling her a prostitute as well, saying I was her madam. That was when we had filed for support. She was twelve, he finally had tenure.

When she was twelve, after I'd filed for support, he went to her school for the first time in her life and told them I was pimping her. The police investigated and found nothing. It didn't look good because he's a PhD who calls himself Doctor. Being slandered by a Doctor, is extra libelous.

After he obtained tenure and our daughter was twelve, I filed for support. He counter sued for custody and lost. We won support and he left the country two weeks later with no forwarding address. I called his old employer and found out where he had went. His wages were garnished. He continues to slander the daughter he refused to support. He tells everyone, I pimp her out. It was a story on the news where he lives. A mother, daughter prostitution team. That's must be where he got the idea.

He took advantage of a kid, he's 13 years older, and then slandered her for 20 years. He's a Romanian immigrant who obtained his PhD on Canadian student loans. He declared bankruptcy on them while employed as a research scientist at McGill. The Canadian government was good to him. Gave him a PhD and raised his daughter for him. I subsidized our meagre income with family benefits allowance. That's what it was there for. The conservatives dismantled it. I know a few women who lost their homes and children. I was lucky and already had a job.

Unfortunately shortly after the whole suit was settled, I was raped and murdered and ended up on disability. Shortly after the assault and after his wages had already been garnished, he came to town with one of his new girlfriends. He hooks up with 300 pound ones and takes them for money. He said to our daughter at that time - Now he could murder me and no one would care, like Picton.

Didn't look good, the doctor and the welfare mother. Didn't seem to matter I had a BA and a job - the world judges a man and woman by the size of their purse. He is a pathological liar and a psychopath. The world respects his title. I probably ended up with an abuser because of the abuse in my childhood.

My ex husband never even sent his own daughter a birthday card.

I lived for years with the shame that he's projected. Now, I don't care what people think. I know, they'll think whatever pleases them regardless of the truth. God preserved me and sent me an angel, because He knows I'm a hero.

The man who drugged and tried to kill me also called me a prostitute in order to justify his actions. Even though I had a job, it must have worked. He got 25 hours community service.

To the courts, single mother appears synonymous to prostitute. I don't know why it's alright to murder prostitutes. He pled guilty, it never went to court. Then the federal government gave him a gold watch for his contribution in their employ.

I have no criminal record. The courts, like society treat single mothers, especially ones who look like children, like dirt.

I'd been a victim of libelous aspersions for years. I won all the court cases by taking the high road and speaking only the truth. I know insulting a parent is an attack on a child's self worth, so I always only told her, he was confused and we should pray for him.

I suppose I went crazy, and wanted to see what's it's like to fight dirty and call names back just once in my life, when I lost it on the Inquisitor. Not worth it.

That's why God sent me the angel.

There are no prostitutes, only PIMPS.

I'm going to beat them all. I've raised children alone in adversity. Been hungry, murdered, and lost. A year after the assault, I started having night sweats. I needed to sleep every night from 8pm until 8am. I would wake at 3am every night drenched in sweat.

I thought it was early menopause. Went for bloodwork, nothing showed up. After the assault, I'd gone for blood work twice. Nothing had showed up. The sweats went on for a year and then stopped.

A year later, because of all the tainted blood scandals. I decided to get the twinrix vaccine. Antibodies for hep c showed up in my bloodstream. I had to wait a few months to find out from the specialist that I was immune and would not get sick. I'm not contagious. I beat hep c.

Science says genetics. I thank my rosary.

Not bad for an old girl and a lifetime of trouble, thank you God, I'm ready for the good stuff.




[edit on 10-6-2007 by clearwater]

That is quite a story. I'm sorry your ex is such a dirtbag. Mine is too. One of the things I've learned in my domestic violence research and support groups is that men in positions of power, such as professors and police officers, have a higher incidence of this sort of abuse of their wives/girlfriends and children. Being a doctor does not make one immune from being scum.

I've been told "whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger," a few times during my court proceedings with my abusive ex. It's true, but it's not something anybody wants to hear about when you're going through the crap. I know all I want to hear is that he's gone from our lives.

Good for you for staying strong and pulling through it. I hope your daughter is OK. Hearing garbage like this from your father has got to be the worst thing, even worse than your husband doing it to you.

Can I ask, in retrospect, were there warning signs that he was not the man he pretended to be? There were with mine, if only I'd listened. I have learned a saying recently, that I think about frequently. "When someone shows you who they are believe them. My ex let slip the real him in our early days, and I talked myself out of seeing what was right in front of me because he was such a good actor, and hid the real him most of the time under false projections of a loving, decent man.

Older but wiser. Too bad people like our exes are allowed to wander around the world hurting people. Not 30 years ago, it was acceptable to beat your wife, it's not so acceptable in the West now. But mental and psychological abuse is still accepted and condoned, and the authorities who could help put a stop to it are still behind the times and say it's too hard to prove so they don't bother protecting women and children who need it.

I'm so tiny, I had to have cesareans. I was so small, it disfigured my stomach. After our daughter was born, my ex pointed to my abdomen and said, "Now, no one will want you."

I want plastic surgery, so I can feel like the person I was before my life was sidetracked. I have a consultation on Monday. I sent pictures and the surgeon agrees abdominoplasty is the correct diagnosis.

I've never wanted to be perfect. It's reconstructive. I need it psychologically at this point, more than physically. The assault pushed me passed my breaking point. I know what it is to fall apart and rebuild. I need to feel triumph.

I don't have the money, it will come - if it's meant to be.

Don't judge people who want plastic surgery. I used to. It used to not bother me so much.

Now I never want to hear my ex husband's statement again when I look in the mirror.

I need it.

Thank you for your comment, I hadn't even seen it when I posted.

Yes, I've met a number of women who've gone through similar experiences and they are the rocks.

Good for you. I have a friend whose ex was a military officer. When she left him after years of battery, he had her committed.

He never was accountable for all the abuse.

During all this time, my father has died of cancer. He was my friend. My mother was dying of alzheimers when it happened. Last November my eldest brother dropped dead before he hit the ground of a heart attack. Died the way he always said he would. Nine years older.

I was on the gymnastics team in high school. Alan Hobson, a motivational speaker and Olympic medalist, he's climbed mount Everest and beat leukemia, was on the boy's gymnastics team.

I had such a crush on him all year, grade 9, before we moved to Spain. I used to phone him up and be too afraid to say anything. I was friends with my English teacher, Mr Peacock. He knew about it and arranged for me to meet Alan at the end of the year. He told me to come to his classroom after school and there was Alan!

Thank you Mr Peacock, I have an English degree.

At the Awards Ceremony at the end of the year. I was surprised by a Most Improved Gymnast award. Alan Hobson, presented it, I believe.

I wrote him out of the blue recently and sent him some Pink pictures. That's what made me think of it.

I'd like to be pretty enough for Alan Hobson. I know we're all equal under God, but I'm his Most Improved Gymnast.

You've had it rough, clearwater, and we all are here for you through it all. Remember his words were from an insecure little wretched trapped in a mans body. He was only putting you down because he felt inadaquate. None of it is true, no matter how much he said it was.

Your not a prositute, your not the abuser. You are a wonderful woman that a jerk found and took advantage of. Put him from your mind and know... he will always reap what he sowed. Karma is always a bitch.

I've noticed that in my life... men who hurt me, later on, got demolished in every way possible by karma. The more they hurt me, the worse it was... so keep your eyes open and watch with him, i can guarantee the show will be spectacular.

I know, it's ridiculous. Look at Kobe Bryant or Mike Tyson and their wreckage. In many countries of the world, women are murdered by the justice system for getting raped.

In North America they're slandered. Why should it be legal to rape a prostitute? Even if a person is one, why should someone have the legal right to rape them.

My ex husband just didn't want to pay child support. By the time we got it, I was dependent of government subsidy. They deducted every last cent off the check, I never benefited. They even over deducted, and I lost money.

He was leaving me alone, more or less, when I didn't bother him for money. He'd say disparaging things to anyone who would listen, but it was only during the divorce and the support/custody hearings that he would get really dirty.

The fool even asked me to remarry him, after he completed his PhD.. I almost threw up.

What is a prostitute anyway. I've had boyfriends who helped me out financially and they treated me better than the deadbeats. Verily I say unto you, that until reproduction is financially rewarded all women are prostitutes.

There's a difference between being a woman and a man. I don't care what anyone says.

[edit on 10-6-2007 by clearwater]

Jessica said

You've had it rough, clearwater, and we all are here for you through it all.

Thank you Jessica, that means a lot to me. It actually has helped to vent my conflicts and the response here has been gracious.

Gossip is murder in the heart. It's the same thing, in spirit. People do it as a form of escapism. There is enough in everyone's own life to work on without having to focus on others. Wise to discern, foolish to judge.

Gossip is murder in spirit.

I knew the Inquisitor would be tough enough to take it all out on. It was hairy there for a while too.

Now, we're even.

Kind of a Joke...



Around the same time my brother died, my ex husband took a heart attack as well. He survived to enjoy bypass surgery. He has his girlfriend as the beneficiary on his life insurance. Not his daughter. She's his only child. I gave him his only child and he's so pathological, he can't even help her now that she is independent.

He goes to the opera every week. He weighs 300 pounds and so does his girlfriend.

I've got more than that at least.



His whole family was deranged. They were refugees who got out of Romania through Israel. His father had lost his first family in the camps. During his escape, he claims to have had a vision of the virgin.

He converted. Later remarried, I married their son. Romanian children live in the sewers not only because of Ceseascu's horrible enforced child birth laws, but because of their sexist culture.

He looked like Michael Caine, when I met him. That was the kicker.

Now he looks like a bloated Nosferatu.

[edit on 10-6-2007 by clearwater]

I wasn't the only one they slandered. His brother had married and divorced already. When he separated from his wife, they had an infant son. Before she had established interim custody, he took the baby for a visit and never brought him back.

The whole family trotted into court and perjured themselves. They called her a child molester who had abused her own infant boy.

They had called and insulted her on the phone, taping the calls. In court they played her vociferous expletives. They won the case. His brother took custody, and gave the baby to his parents to raise.

The boy grew up to deal drugs at 17 with a pregnant girlfriend. The brother impregnated another woman he never supported, whom the family also slandered.

He married a woman with money. He now makes over 100,000 a year working for immigration.

His ex wife was labeled a child molester, prostitutes not so bad. She remarried successfully and had more children. She got her boy back in the teens.

This is not gossip, this is the truth. I walk with my head up.

They tried the same thing on me, with the phone. Soon after I'd kicked him out, I started receiving calls a voice would sneer "You are a prostitute." In a thick Romanian accent.

I would just hang up.

I established interim custody before I let him see the baby after we split up.







[edit on 10-6-2007 by clearwater]

The angels gave me a purple heart.

That's why I fell in love with Patton when I was a kid.

I had to be just like him.

Im a four star General, Inquisitor, and I command an armada....

It's all a matter of court record. Can prove it. No one is really interested. The scariest thing is that when the system breaks down, people rush by instead of try to patch it up.

People conspire to make each other look good. Corruption is endemic. Unless there is vigilance and even then, imperfection sets in, the only solution is humor.

All the world's a stage and we're but players, other tides have tolls as karma suggests.

I kept the company of angels and children, what more could I have asked.

My kids have done ok. The daughter will be finished her undergraduate degree this fall. The son spends a lot of time with his father who is a carpenter. There is five years between them. The man never asked me to marry him, and never dated another woman. We broke up in 89. I don't think he's gay, I'm beginning to suspect he's a eunuch. He's a holy man....seriously, he's my best friend. Well, when, I'm not imperious. No he's not waiting for me.

In spite of being a summa cum laude athlete, my daughter still gets into trouble. My son, is dyslexic, but he's well adapted and in the best school in town.








[edit on 10-6-2007 by clearwater]

The surgery for me, is re-constructive. Every time I look at myself in the mirror I see the battery that man put me through.

When asked which would he choose, physical or mental torture, Senator McCain chose physical.

I went through 20 years of mental torture at the hands of this man. He doesn't know where I live now, but his legacy lingers. When you come from a early childhood trauma, you find what hurt you and try to make it treat you right. Prey animals keeping an eye on the prey; repeating the trauma as though it could be gotten right. It distorts psyches and makes them more vulnerable to attack.

I know God wants me to feel whole again. It's not covered under universal medicare in Canada. In Brazil it is, beach culture. I love the beach. People think it's natural, but it's not. Not all women get disfigured from childbirth. I was too small.

I'm going to try to get a psychological deferral. I want to feel whole again. They should be covered, I'd be more likely to remarry. I haven't dated in five years. I'm tired of feeling second rate once I take my clothes off.

It's not right. If it was a burn, they'd cover it.

You have a lovely family, and should be very proud. To call a woman a prostitute for making love to a man she fell in love with, I think should be a hate crime. How can it be ok to say a woman who has had sex, to call her a prostitute.. but a man who has had the same or more partners be considered a man about town? You must hold women to the same standard as men. We were all created to be equals.

Your not a prostitute for sleeping men you love, even if they offered financial support, or help. If it was done in a partnership, then it shouldn't matter where the money came in from.

A prostitute has sex with a man she does not love or care about for money or financial favors. If you at some point actually thought you loved anyone you've lived with and/or made love to.. then you can't be a prostitute.

Love is really a form of insanity, I discovered that because I'm one of those people who falls in love on first sight...

Back in ancient times, some evidence suggests the first priests were females who sold sex as part of spiritual communion.

In some places, women were worshiped for the power to have babies. They had rituals and caves. I don't judge what or why people have sex.

All transactions in life have an economic dimension, nothing is without it other than the spiritual. Even so, the spiritual is highly effected by economic condition and requires negotiation. Rich or poor, each has challenges.

In the pecking order of the world's hen house, women are at a disadvantage and that's the only reason they're called prostitutes. Who owned her sex in the first place.

It's ridiculous.

General Patton saw me through it, when I lost my head. He said, "That's OK kid, battle fatigue." He never called me a coward.

Both my daughter and I could read before starting school, I knew, there was something wrong when my son couldn't read by the end of grade one.

It took me four years but he can read. The psychologist who tested him said some children with that handicap can't tell time by sixteen years of age. He's seventeen and can't tell time on a face clock with hands, only digital.

In his assessments now, he's reading at comprehension two levels above his school grade.

I have no criminal record...but there was that time for bus tickets...



Just kidding, really - it's just such a hypocritical judgment.

Happens to pretty girls all the time, women living alone. I read one story of a single mom in the middle East. She had a bad reputation and the neighbors didn't like her developmentally delayed son.

They called her a prostitute because she was alone. One night a group of neighborhood men took it upon themselves to clean up the block. They raped her and murdered her son.

Here in Canuckistan, though at times the neighbor's were provincial, when it would get to court, the ex was only getting dirty looks.

That's why I believe in due process.

Under Ceseascu and Patriot Act type rules, those who throw crap first, win.

I pity my ex husband.

I have no record...and I lived at my last apartment 15 years, the one before, for 5. Prostitutes move around alot.
He said I denied him custody after I applied for support for his daughter.

But he always knew where she was, he never bothered contacting her.

After he got served, he called and asked her if she would join him for his birthday. I believe she received a fruit basket for christmas that year.

In addition to the embarrassment at her school. One of the student counselors had the hots for the 'doctor' and I was forced to go in and explain the situation to the vice principal.

That year in the mail, I received an anonymous gift certificate from her school for christmas.


[edit on 10-6-2007 by clearwater]

He is a monster.

When I had the nervous breakdown, I was praying in my chair, saying the rosary. I felt a cold river rush over my left arm. I heard the agonizing cries of terrified souls. I heard him in there, he said Goddess, forgive me, I didn't know.

Which kind of surprised me, even though I've read Mary Daly those formative years are entrenched, besides, I was Daddy's girl.

He still visits me, my dad. When I'm sleeping. He helps me out. Showed me the office I would work in for five years, two years before I started.

Thought about it yesterday.

That's why I tried to kill myself, two years ago. People can be horrible, who wants to hang around for more. But it wasn't just that. I'd been through that crap for years with him and never considered it. I fell apart, wasn't in my right mind. All you people with enough to live on, you're in the minority. A small minority. If the world was only 100 people, and you have a roof over your head and a bank account, you're one of the richest 30 people.

I don't watch TV anymore. It doesn't talk to me. I can't relate.


[edit on 10-6-2007 by clearwater]

Who will save their souls?

I wasn't even a slut....it's the beast. I'm no angel, but the Hep C is the only STD I've ever had. It's not even transmitted easily through sex. I was a bloody pulp.

The specialist asked me how I thought I got it. I know it was the assault that infected me, because of the year of sweats and sleeping 12 hours a night.

I'd had regular tests over the years, to be sure and nothing had ever shown up.

I told the specialist, I'd never been in jail, not a prostitute, don't engage in sododmy, not an IV drug user. I told him, I'd been raped and murdered and that's when I was infected.

He wrote down Sexual Encounter. It's not that he didn't believe me, it's just that's what men think sex is. The virus was transmitted sexually.
It was transmitted murderously.

When I had the nervous breakdown two years ago, I was invested with the scapular.

Men think they can do anything to women, they can't.


[edit on 11-6-2007 by clearwater]