Autism - It's Hit My Home.

Autism. It is said that it effects 1 out of every 150 children. Staggering.
My entire world, my 4 year old son, has just been diagnosed as Autistic. I don't want this as a boo-hoo, poor lombozo thread. He is fully functioning. Highly intelligent, I mean off the charts intelligent. His vocabulary is astounding for a four year old. He's just wired a little differently. It would be impossible to love him any more than I already do.

OK, I've done ALOT of research, but I would just like to get some feedback from any of you that are actually living through it.

I look forward to sharing with everyone on this.

[edit on 13-4-2007 by lombozo]


[edit on 13-4-2007 by lombozo]

I don't have autism, so I apologize if this is out of line, me commenting on it.

Since I was 5 (when I started school) a chap in my class was autistic. He was really smart, but I found him a bit shut off. He kept to himself and got very agitated when people tried to make contact with him.

Throughout school, he seemed to get better and started to make friends, talk to people and join in on our games.

By the time he was about 10 or 11, he was no different than anyone else. I know that sounds terrible, ''different'', but I couldn't think of another word for it. Sorry.

Not a personal experience per-say, but I grew up with the guy and I saw how his autism developed throughout childhood.

I hope that helps a little bit mate.

That's awesome Zanz! No offense taken at all with the "different" referance. He is different. Shut off is a actually a very good description.
My son is lacking in social skills. Routines have to be maintained or else! With people he knows, he's fine, but amongst people he doesn't know he is very quiet and withdrawn. His motor skills are off. He walks, and runs fine. He's learning to catch. (thata Boy!) When he tries to color or write, he starts off fine, then there's almost like a disconnect, and his writing instrument just goes all over the page.
He does have friends, and plays with them well, but on a playground he's completely lost and frightened. I am so worried that he will become a "target" for the other kids.
Since he was 2, he has been using the computer. By 3 he could surf the internet like you wouldn't believe. Not just clicking around, but actually surfing to specific sites. Now at 4 he can draw in Illustrator, and retouch in Photoshop. I am so proud that he's my son.

Thanks - I appreciate it Zanz!

[edit on 13-4-2007 by lombozo]

I used to teach a boy with Autism, he was at the time unable to talk,

After intense teaching things like eye contact and opening and closing doors he started to respond very well,

It was hard to get him to interact with other children, and he like to do the same activities over and over again,

He also never liked being hugged this upset him alot,

Have you thought about looking in to some programs or help centres so that you can be kept up to date with all the latest things?

I really really do suggest getting together with other parents there are so many things out there to help your child live a fulfilling life,


heres a link to sites that are pretty much parents
www.unlockingautism.org...

may help you find some just like yourself,

[edit on 13-4-2007 by asala]

He Lombozo,

I have no personal experience with autism, so I hope you don't mind my commenting here. But if you're not familiar with autistic savant Daniel T. you, and your son, may find his story and abilities inspiring.

Optimnem: The Official Site of Daniel Tammet

Some of his accomplishments and abilities from the Daniel T. wikipedia entry:

en.wikipedia.org...

Tammet's mental imagery of numbers is unique. In his mind, he says, each number up to 10,000 has its own unique shape and feel, that he can "see" results of calculations as landscapes, and that he can "sense" whether a number is prime or composite.

[...]

Tammet holds the European record for memorising and recounting pi to 22,514 digits in just over five hours.

[...]

Tammet is creating a new language called Mänti. Mänti has many features related to Finnish and Estonian, both of which are Finno-ugric languages. Some sources credit Tammet as creating the Uusisuom and Lapsi languages as well.[6]

[...]

Tammet was challenged to learn Icelandic in one week, a language with a popular reputation as one of the world's most difficult languages to learn.[7][8] Seven days later he appeared on Icelandic television conversing in Icelandic, with his Icelandic language instructor saying it was "not human."

[...]

Tammet created and operates the online e-learning company, Optimnem.

If you don't mind me asking, what particular type of autism has your son been diagnosed with? Seems, based on what you wrote, that he's a functional autistic which is a good sign, I believe.

Regards and God Bless,
-Rob

[edit on 13-4-2007 by Rren]

Originally posted by asala
I used to teach a boy with Autism, he was at the time unable to talk,

After intense teaching things like eye contact and opening and closing doors he started to respond very well,

It was hard to get him to interact with other children, and he like to do the same activities over and over again,

He also never liked being hugged this upset him alot,

Have you thought about looking in to some programs or help centres so that you can be kept up to date with all the latest things?

I really really do suggest getting together with other parents there are so many things out there to help your child live a fulfilling life,

Trust me, he has no trouble talking! I can literally hold a conversation with him like an adult. Unbelievable vocabulary. His sentences aren't fractured at all. Also no troubles with doors, or stairs.
He too has trouble interacting with other children. He's always the one playing by himself. Repetition of activities is constant with him. Over and over, and always in the same spots. Same chair, same table, same spot on the floor or bed every time.
He likes his hugs. Before i leave, and as soon as I get home, he and i do the "Big Super Squeezy Hug".

Way ahead of you on the programs and centers. Yes we are.
I've known that something was a little different since before he was one. But the diagnosis officialy came in just a couple days ago. I do want to get together with other parents, and will. It may seem strange, but this is actually one attempt to do just that. But I assure you, not the only attempt!

Thanx Asala

Children with autism do tend to be quite intelligent. Autistic children are loners to the extreme, and like most loners, they tend to be intelligent, contemplative and secretive.

As for what causes the ailment I really don't know. I suspect that there may be a direct link between the hormones and preservatives that are being put into our food and autism. However, this is very much a matter that is up for debate.

[edit on 13-4-2007 by SpeakerofTruth]

Support groups are of incredible help. If for no other reason than to let you know your not alone. Though from the sounds of it you're on top of things, my freind. I looked up autism before I posted and I really had no idea there were so many different types and characteristics of autism.

Lombozo

I too have very little personal experience of autistic children but I hope you don't mind my comments.

From my reading, there are a whole spectrum of symptons of autism but the common theme seems to be social skills or rather awareness of others feelings, this can mean withdrawal or over-enthusiasm. They can have a very small sense of personal space or adversely, be invasive of others because they are unaware of those boundaries.

I believe it is useful to use faces (photos, pictures etc) to 'teach' the recognition of emotions. You can get some really good toys and teaching aids to support autism.

My little boy is very intelligent and I have sometimes suspected autism, he took a long time to adjust to other children, listening skills aren't good and eye contact can be a problem. If he is he'd be very low on the spectrum I suspect.

I think its the intelligence thats a key. The amount of information that children have to process is astounding, you can literally see their brains working sometimes. I think that the highly intelligent get a little overloaded and miss out on some of the basics. Just my opinion.

All the best.

Originally posted by KilgoreTrout
I think that the highly intelligent get a little overloaded and miss out on some of the basics. Just my opinion.

I tend to agree. Intelligent people often find basic rather menial tasks difficult. Also, there experiences usually are much different from most others. They don't always experience some of the things, usually due to their general lack of sociability,that are common to most.

Of course, I am generalizing. However, that does indeed seem rather typical of the highly intelligent in my experience.

[edit on 13-4-2007 by SpeakerofTruth]

There would seem to be alot to the notion that the really, really intelligent sometimes seem to miss out on some things. It wouldn't suprise me if that were the case.

I've noticed that the extremely intelligent often lack common sense. My Uncle In Law (Is there such a word?) My wifes Uncle, is a genius - truly a genius. His thing is astronomy. He builds his own telescopes - and not from kits. He built 2 machines, which allowed him to grind his own lenses, and mirrors. After grinding the 18" mirror he sent it out to have the cotaing put on it which made it a mirror. He built a worm gear drive, and wrote the program on his laptop which allows it to track. You should see the pictures of Nebulas and other heavenly bodies he gets off of this thing. When you compliment him on what he did, he acts like everybody can do it, no big deal.
That being said, he has absolutely no common sense.

I think the difficulty of dealing with autistic children, even high-functioning Asperger's kids, is that we as adults often map our emotions on to them.

If we do something special for them, we expect them to be happier...if we punish, we expect them to be remorseful...if they fall, we expect them to feel pain and come to us for comfort...

I've seen many parents of autistic children take it PERSONALLY when their child seems distant, blaming themselves for the disconnect and torturing themselves with the thought that "if they just do something different" they can unlock the mystery. This is a sadly natural reaction...it's impossible to turn off emotion.

It breaks my heart.

lombozo, it is obvious to everyone on this thread that your heart BEATS with your son. It's also clear that you've done plenty to educate yourself on the situation.

Just always be sure to take care of YOURSELF.

Being a parent under the best of conditions is tiring...but you have been enrolled in the ADVANCED COURSE...PhD Parenting...don't forget to take a minute and do what you need to do to fill your tank.

Autistic parents never run out of love, but they can run out of energy.

Originally posted by lombozo
When you compliment him on what he did, he acts like everybody can do it, no big deal.
That being said, he has absolutely no common sense.

Lombozo, part of the reason why many very intelligent people do not succeed in life is due to self doubt. Most really intelligent people do not take compliments very well. You say, "Wow, that is truly amazing. Damn you're smart." An intelligent person is apt to reply, "Ah, it's nothing and I am not that smart." You are correct that they do lack common sense. Many never get married or even have any relationships because they cannot "read" people. They don't know how to detect when someone likes them or finds them attractive. Hence, they often live a life by themselves.

Again, I am generalizing. However, it does seem to be the case. Well, maybe not for the majority of intellignet people, but for a large percentage of them.

[edit on 13-4-2007 by SpeakerofTruth]

Originally posted by Essedarius
I think the difficulty of dealing with autistic children, even high-functioning Asperger's kids, is that we as adults often map our emotions on to them.

It has been said that Albert Einstein suffered from Asperger's syndrome.

We have autism in our family, though none of my kids (or grandkid) has it.

Let me show you a bright spot, though: Dr. Temple Grandin:
www.metafilter.com...

She's one of the leading animal behavior researchers AND she's autistic. She's written books, one of which is about being autistic. Start there and I think you'll get an excellent insider's view of what's going on.

Since it's only now being diagnosed, I suspect he'll be a little "odd" but he'll manage in society just fine. Heck, I was always considered a "little odd" (and I bet most of us were) but I turned out reasonably okay.

You're doing the RIGHT thing! An educated parent is the best advocate, buddy, and helper that any one with a problem can have. I'd say "watch the labeling"... don't turn him (in your mind) into a "poor handicapped child" but rather treat it as if he'd been clobbered with a diagnosis of ADHD or depression -- he has a condition but he will grow up to fit right into society.

And hugs and sympathies to you and your family. I know how emotionally hard these diagnoses can be!

I am not sold that it is actually a "problem" social interaction can be taught, he can learn how to express and experience emotions and to develop sympathy.

You can not teach intelligence.

Do not worry, but as his parent you MUST provide him with an enviroment where he is forced to interact with other kids, it might take a while to find the right sport or activity but once you do and he begins to feel that the other people are of equal capacity to him he will begin to build the social interaction skills he is missing.

People with High IQ as children can regard those people that they feel are not as smart as them with a sort of distain and almost treat them like they do not exist.

This is why IMO Autistic children with High IQ's are viewed as withdrawn. It is not that they do not know how to interact, its that they feel it is not required or not vital or even important to their current activity to then turn their attention to interact with someone else.

Its a type of self only personality shell that you as a parent have to break open by giving the child a compelling reason to interact with another person. Yet it must be done in an enviroment where the child feels it was his personal choice to interact with another person.

Whatever you do, do not shelter the child and do not allow them to alienate themselves from playmates. There should be an agreement that he can have X number of hours as alone play time, but that he must spend X number of hours in a group activity. As long as it is fun for him over time he will begin to want more "group" time vs alone time.

Hey Essedarius,
Very cool. Thank you.
He is an absolute handful. He has 2 speeds. 200 miles an hour, and zero. I joke about my wife on here alot, but in all honesty she is SUPER MOM. She's a stay at home Mom, so she's with him 24/7, and she deals with everything exceptionally well. When I get home she is burned out and frazzled, and she always does what needs to be done to "Get there from here."

You are correct when you said that we feel like what could we have done differently? He has Aspergers which is highly functioning, in fact we've been told that some people with this are just considered eccentric by their peers who don't know of the disease.

I can't tell you how much I appreciate everyone chiming in. I absolutely know, and thank god that if I were forced to choose an illness, this is the one I'd pick. It's not life threatening, and he is such a great kid. It just hurts that "something is wrong" with my little guy. He's never known anything but love. You know, it doesn't matter how bad a day I had, and in my line of work I've had more than my share of doozies, when I get home, and he comes running up to me with his arms held out screaming "Daddy I love you! You're home" and we do our Super squeezy hug, funny, but nothing else matters. All is good with the world.

Originally posted by robertfenix
... he can learn how to express and experience emotions and to develop sympathy.

This is a DANGEROUS DANGEROUS line of thinking that can lead to SEVERE depression in parents and educators.

If my child were deaf, would you say that I could TEACH him to hear?

Lombozo, I have had family and friends that have had to deal with autism but have never had to deal with it personally. In my opinion I believe that you have taken a very positive step for your child already, in the fact that you recognize that your child is autistic and have sought help. I have seen it personally where parents can’t or won’t accept that their child could have a problem and never seek help. These children end up going through life suffering immensely due to limited or non existent social skills. I have a cousin in his early twenties that is going through this right now. He is what you could call an extreme loner. He is a good looking kid and very intelligent but has absolutely no social network and has never had a girlfriend. He is just happy to be on his own. My aunt would never accept that he had a problem when young so he never received any kind of help. I don’t blame her though, because lets face it, your child is your life so it is sometimes hard to accept that there might be something wrong. We all knew that there was something slightly different with him but how do you approach a family member with that concern? I strongly believe that with just a little work he could have grown to have a perfectly fine social life and a great career as he is simply brilliant.
So as you can see, in my opinion, embracing this diagnosis is half the battle. With a little training and work your child will be perfectly fine, as he matures, and most likely will excel in life. Hang in there and take care.