Challenge - Make me laugh

Ok, I'm in dire need of a laugh. But I see the same jokes getting recycled time and time again these days. So I thought I would issue a challenge to the community here - make me laugh. I'll respond to each joke posted here with two scores out of ten:

Originality - how original the joke was (ie how many times have I heard it before).

Laughter - how side-splittingly funny the joke was. Did it cause tears to stream down my face, or did only the barest hint of a smile cross my lips?

I'll also provide some commentary. While I obviously can't award points, the current top ranked joke (in my opinion) will be linked in my sig block, so the rest of the community can enjoy the best of the best (well, as I call it anyway). Good luck, hopefully someone will take up the challenge!

I cant think of many jokes right now but I posted this in "the best worst jokes thread".



There is a man who loves tractors,
he loves tractors so much that when he is at work all he does is look on the net at tractor websites,
His boss gets really annoyed because he doesn't do much actual work and fires him,
When he goes home all he does is read tractor magazines and his wife gets really annoyed and leaves him and says when you can get your life together and stop obsessing over tractors, maybe i'll come back.
So the guy decides it's time to get his life together and gets all of his tractor magazines, all posters and books and burns them in his yard.
After a tough night burning his passion away he goes to the bar.

He walks into the bar and it is so smokey he can barely see anything,
he asks the barman how he can work in conditions like this and the barman says "I know it's really hard on my chest sometimes"
So the guy who used to love tractors so much says"I know, hold on a minute"


So he takes in a huge breath and sucks up all the smoke in the bar, runs outside and breaths it all out, he walks back into the now much clearer bar and the barman says "how on earth did you do that?"














The man say's "I'm an ex-tractor fan"




[edit on 15-1-2007 by chris01621]

Hi Chris, thanks for participating.

I can genuinely say I haven't heard that one before, so kudos off the bat. The joke uses the time tested double meaning punchline, similar to the "I'm a frayed knot" joke, but I liked the build up a lot. Sometimes the joke can seem funnier with a good build up, and you did good there. So, in summary:

Originality 7/10 Well crafted, good premise.

Laughter 3/10 Got a chuckle out of me, which is more than I have produced for a while.

Thanks again Chris, as the first poster, you are obviously number one at this stage. Wish I had a cool trophy or something, but you'll have to do with the warm feeling of knowing that you are currently the best joke in this thread. Cheers!

I know it's not a joke as such but i'm challenging you not to laugh...

Look.

politicalhumor.about.com...

Anything involving Dick Cheney always makes me laugh, even if i've seen it before...

Seriously though, how many of us have shot our friend in the face, like really in the face?

Thanks both for the laugh. Very timely too, back at work Mondays always suck.

There really is something wrong with Bert, isn't there? Even as a kid I though he had a look in his eye that --- well, I don't know. Evil Bert indeed!

Thanks again.

Willard

try this on for size: how did burger king get dairy queen pregnant?
he forgot to wrap his whopper!!!!!!

watch this.

Burning Banana Man

[edit on 28-1-2007 by Lysergic]

does the youtube vid stuff work?
cause that link right there is hilarious

Burning Banana man! What an idiot, that is funny but OMG.
Your other link has been removed from youtube, What was it???

Wow. Burning Bannana Man huh? Classic. Proof positive that natural selection exists.

Now, to Conspiracy Master's joke.

Originality - 8/10. Haven't heard it before, and that's certainly something I'm looking for in this thread.

Laughter - 2/10. I always find words that have rude connatations amusing, and this one got a smile.

Chris's joke still stands as number one at this time. Thanks for taking part, it was nice to come to work on a Monday morning to find some humour waiting!

Two chaps walking down the sidewalk.

They pass a dog licking "itself".

One says to the other, "Boy, I sure wish I could do that."

His buddy responds, "Well, you might want to try petting him first."

:shk:

[edit on 28-1-2007 by 12m8keall2c]

Ding Ding! We have a new leader!

Currently have fellow workers looking at me funny due to my sudden burst of laughter. To the joke:

Originality 5/10 Not real original, there are a few jokes like it out there...

Laughter 6/10 ...but the delivery was spot on, and a genuine, laugh out loud resulted.

The delivery really does make a difference to any joke. The ex-tractor fan needed a long, slow build up, and Chris did it well. 12m8keall2c nailed the last one. Quick delivery, but you can picture exactly what is going on. Brilliant. Thanks!

Willard856,

British Special Forces!


and this is ironic



[edit on 28-1-2007 by Selmer2]

OMG! British Special forces was one of the funniest things I've ever seen! And that song...

I've seen that other one before, and that guy pisses me off too much for me to laugh at it. What a douche.

Willard,

"There was this old man who was trying to raise his two grandkids alone. They were pretty good kids for the most part, but they had a really bad swearing problem. Every other word they said was a swear word. So one day, the old man decides he's going to bring a stop to this once and for all.

He gets up early that morning, and wakes the children for school. He waits for them in the kitchen and when they come in he asks the oldest one, "So, what do you want for breakfast today?"

The oldest son replies, "I want some of those G*dd*mned son-of-a-B*tchin' Cornflakes."

The old man smacks the son so hard he flies across the room. Then he looks over at the younger son, and feeling confident that he got the message across, asks him "Now then, what do YOU want for breakfast?"

"Well I know one thing, I sure don't want any of those G*dd*mned son-of-a-B*tchin' Cornflakes."

the code doesnt work

but check this

www.youtube.com...


tenaciousD


explicit lyrics noobs beware!

Selmer,

Cheers! Both very funny. Have seen the Brit one before, the life vests activating are a classic though!

Nicotine,

Originality 4/10

Laughter 2/10

Nice joke, heard it a few times already though. Got a smile post lunch. Thanks for trying!

Lysergic,

Great Tenacious D vid, haven't heard much of their new stuff. Loved their first album, Tribute to me is still a classic. Explosivio and Dio also remain in the head well after the final track. Loved it! Dave Grohl still the Devil?

Nice joke, heard it a few times already though.

Well thats disappointing, My Grandpa is the only one I've ever heard tell that joke.

SIXTY FOOOOUUUUR!

A man walks into a bar..............it hurt!