Challenge - Make me laugh

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posted on Jan, 29 2007 @ 04:39 AM
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I got more if you want




posted on Jan, 29 2007 @ 04:54 AM
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Ok this isn't a joke either but it made me laugh.



Course I am familiar with half life 2.

G Man Becomes a Pokemon Trainer

[edit on 29-1-2007 by whatukno]



posted on Jan, 29 2007 @ 11:12 AM
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You may have seen this because I made a thead for it a while back, but here goes.

Mental Patient Joke!!!

A man is taken to a mental home, a docter takes him into a room with a bath tub and say's to the man
"we usually do a test to see if a patient is crazy or not, we fill up this bath tub and ask the patient what would he would like to use to empty it,
a teaspoon, a table spoon or a bucket".

"Oh" the man say's "if their normal they pick the bucket"

"No" say's the docter "If their normal they just pull the plug out, now theres a room for you down the corridor"...



posted on Jan, 29 2007 @ 11:41 AM
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I always thought this one was almost funny, but what makes it hysterical to me is that my neighbor guy can't say "Barbitchuate" and that's when the joke gets really funny, because he laughs so hard trying to spit that word out, it makes everyone laugh & his wife ends up finishing the joke for him because he gets so tickled he can't talk. Sorry for the run on sentence.

A bear walks into a bar obviously hungry and thirsty.
He asks the bartender for a beer.
The bartender says " Sorry, but we can't serve bears beer in this bar"
Rather irritated, the bear looks over and sees a rather skanky looking woman who has had a few drinks. The bear is so hungry he devours her right in front of the bartender and other patrons.
The nervous bartender asks the bear if he would like a beer, but the bear replyed that the heavy meal had made him too sleepy.
The bartender replyed, "of course your sleepy, that was a barbitchuate."


Edit* type o

[edit on 1/29/2007 by jensouth31]



posted on Jan, 29 2007 @ 03:38 PM
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Wow, lots to reply to, the great thing about being in Aus is that I come to work to find these jokes and posts waiting for me. Gets the day off to a great start, so thanks once again for taking the time to post.

Nicotine:

Sorry, I wasn't trying to belittle your joke, it was a good one. I've heard a lot of jokes, so duplication isn't unusual. Even my current leading joke I've heard before, but some just hit the spot at the right time and make you laugh out loud.

Selmer:

Yes please! More is good. Being a military man myself, I really enjoyed your pictures.

Lysergic:

Brave move posting your old home movies my friend!
64 is now ingrained in my brain, similar to the word "armageddon". And I'm sure you know what I'm talking about...

Ubermunche:

Originality 1/10
Laughter 2/10

Ah, the old bar jokes. Good for a chuckle. Like the horse who walked into a bar, and the bartender said "Hey, why the long face?".

Whatukno:

Half-Life 2 was cool, but I ironically lost interest half way through.

Jen:

Originality 5/10
Laughter 4/10 (6/10 with the lead in)

Good one! The lead in made it even funnier. I have a friend who has a similar problem with his favourite joke, fluffing the punch line everytime (especially after a beer or ten). Just makes it that much funnier. And is that a new avatar? Very nice!

Thanks again everyone. I have a meeting that is going to be death by powerpoint, but at least I have some jokes to keep me going. Cheers!



posted on Jan, 29 2007 @ 03:47 PM
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Originally posted by Willard856
Jen:

And is that a new avatar? Very nice!



Thanks, but no...it's a few months old. I like it too



posted on Jan, 29 2007 @ 06:19 PM
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A few months is new by my books. I haven't changed avatars since day one, but I like it, and it sums me up pretty well.



posted on Jan, 29 2007 @ 06:29 PM
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The ever popular Afro Ninja




posted on Jan, 29 2007 @ 06:37 PM
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You really need to give the dude credit for getting back on his feet, and having a go at doing his routine.



posted on Jan, 29 2007 @ 06:41 PM
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lol thats the best part, swangin them nunchucks!



posted on Jan, 29 2007 @ 06:52 PM
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Here's one I think you'll appreciate, and in keeping with the martial arts theme:




posted on Jan, 29 2007 @ 07:00 PM
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OOOOOHHHH a peanut sat on a railway track

It's heart was all in a flutter

Allong came the midnight railway express

Bango! Peanut butter.



posted on Jan, 30 2007 @ 07:47 AM
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Has anyone seen Kat Deely's show "So you think you can dance"?
I'm trying to find a vid of a man who falls on his face trying to dance(Kinda like the nunchuck man messing up), if you saw it you know what I mean but I cant find the vid anywhere, maybe someone here can.

Anyway on my search for it I found this, I apologise for anyone who finds this painfull to watch...



[edit on 30-1-2007 by chris01621]



posted on Jan, 30 2007 @ 12:28 PM
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Two nuns are driving through a transylvanian forest on a dark and stormy night.

Suddenly Dracula leaps out in front of the car and bares his fangs menacingly.

'Quick,' says the first nun. 'Show him your cross!'

The second nun jumps out of the car and shouts. 'Get out of the f***ing road, you stupid F***er.



posted on Jan, 31 2007 @ 08:49 PM
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Try this one.

[edit on 1/31/2007 by Infra_red]

[edit on 1/31/2007 by Infra_red]



posted on Jan, 31 2007 @ 11:27 PM
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posted on Jan, 31 2007 @ 11:56 PM
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This rich Hollywood producer has a huge party and invites all the A list celebrities. He also invites a few B list celebs for a laugh. Halfway through the night while standing next to his massive swimming pool he announces,
" In this pool i have a man eating crocodile, anyone that can swim from one side to the other i will give 1 million dollars too".
Before he'd even finished there was a massive splash and there's crocodile dundee in the middle of the pool wrestling with the croc. He's got fingers in it's eye's gouging, then he's got it in a strangle hold while it goes into a death roll trying to shake him off, last of all as they both sink under the water he latches onto it's throat with his teeth and rips a huge hole in it's jugular. As the pool slowly fill's with blood and the croc sinks to the bottom crocodile dundee climbs out the other side of the pool.
The Producer runs over to him and say's,
"Man that was amazing, i guess i owe you a million dollars".
" Nah you dont owe me a thing"
"Cmon i have to give you something, that was just out of this world"
"Tell me the name of the p...k who pushed me in and i'll call it even".



posted on Feb, 2 2007 @ 03:42 AM
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posted on Feb, 3 2007 @ 10:23 PM
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A test of sympathy, How sympathetic are you???



Now do you feel sorry for him, or do you laugh because he's a complete idiot. He must have opened the door and he wasn't wearing his seat belt.

I personally find it hilarious!!!



posted on Feb, 4 2007 @ 06:37 AM
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A crusty old man walks into a bank and says to the
woman at the window, "I want to open a damn checking
account."

The astonished woman replies, "I beg your pardon, sir.
I must have misunderstood you. What did you say?"

"Listen up, damn it." I said, "I want to open a damn
checking account now!"

"I'm very sorry sir, but that kind of language is not
tolerated in this bank."

The teller leaves the window and goes over to the bank
manager to inform him of her situation. The manager
agrees that the teller does not have to listen to that
foul language. They both return to the window and the
manager asks the old geezer, "Sir, what seems to be
the problem here?"

"There is no damn problem." the man says. "I just won
$200 million bucks in the damn lottery and I want to
put my damn money in this damn bank"

"I see," says the manager, "and is this the b**ch
who's giving you a hard time?"






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