new and out of denial

Hi everyone. I am new here. I have been learking for a few days reading on some stuff. Lots to read for sure!
I guess i'm here for some kind of support or answers. I have memories as far back as a little girl. I can't remember exact ages but what i recall is very vivid for what short periods of time it happened in. I want to know i'm not crazy of course. Or possible my mother didn't put it all in my head. (she spoke often of us being abducted and my mother and i have a few of our scars that are exact in location and looks)
My first memory is when i was very little I could guess are 3-5 years old. I woke up in the middle of the night and there was a green form in my room. It was hazy as if he didn't want me to completely see him but gave me enough to see that he was not human. I was not afraid. He came to my bed and told me my mother was busy with his friends and she could not see me at the moment but she would be back soon. He then asked me if I was thirsty. I told him yes. He gave me a clear liquid in a very imaculate drinking glass that was not from our house. It was so clear you could hardly tell there was a glass there at all the liquid to for that matter. I then drank the liquid but only a sip becuase it prickled my lips. As if it had tiny little needles all over the rim of the glass. There was no taste to the drink just the very weird prickle. He then told me to go back to sleep and he carressed my hair back as if he was my mother trying to get me to sleep. (she did that when i was feeling ill)
I didn't have any memories again until i was 19. But frequently i would get scared at night and felt the feelings of being watched. I would often get the feeling of some one in the hallway to the bedrooms.
When i was 19 i then had a child of my own. I already had her about a year. her father and i were splitting up becuase he started to beet me on a frequent basis. I was at my mothers house after he beet me and there were 23 seperate bruises on my body (my mother took pictures so i knew how many there were and to report to the cops). I went to bed that night feeling pretty sorry for myself and my daughter. Alot of paranormal things had happened that day as well. I meen really weird stuff. After being in bed for a while i finally dozed off. I woke up in the middle of the night to get a drink. when i was in the kitchen i got a weird urge to go out the front door and onto the beginning of the stairs (staying at the top we lived in a condo and we were on 2nd floor) I was then confronted by a extremely skinny taller then me being (i am 5'6) I was informed i needed to hurry and come with him before the "bad ones" got there. I was told my daughter will be waiting for me. I was not afraid of this tall being but all of the sudden fear struck me solid thinking of the "bad ones" getting me first that night. I knew in my heart I didn't want that whoever the bad ones were. So i went with him. I think i might have had my memory tampered with on the trip to whatever it was i was going. I get memory back when i am in a blinding white room that is circular in shape. My X was there sitting on a bench taht encirlced completely teh cirlce room. My X was highly confused and looked at me as if I was the devil. We were told by the beings to carress. We didn't want that. I especially didnt' want that. But they were being insistant on us getting along. It was the whole reason we were there. They wanted us to be happy and not fight. They were a little testy with my X you could tell they were not at all pleased with him (drugs found him and turned him evil) They urged us the whole time to be friendly towards eachother. Memory is gone after whatever lesson we had here. I woke up the next morning with my body aching as if my X and i had done something : /. I was 3 weeks late on my period that month. Never took a test to see if maybe. I sure hope not
This is all hard for me maybe more later.

First, welcome to ATS !! Much to explore, here.
Second, paragraph's are our friends. Reading a block of text like that can be taxing on some.
Third...interesting story. Might oughta go see a Dr., just to be safe.

Anyway, welcome aboard.

Lex

Welcome to ATS, CruelCat.

I understand your concern regarding what may have happened to you. Don't dwell too much on something you most likely won't have answers to right away.

That is my advise. If you are meant to know, you will know.

It's good to have an opportunity to welcome a new member. Plenty of help available to answer any technical questions you may have. I have been here for about a year and still can't quote properly! I need someone to literally draw me a picture!

Hope to see more posts from you.

Hi CruelCat. Don't worry what people say. You know what you experienced and that's all that matters.

Originally posted by interestedalways
Welcome to ATS, CruelCat.

I have been here for about a year and still can't quote properly! I need someone to literally draw me a picture!

First you click the quote icon





Then you add your text to the box that pops up, although I've found it only lets you add a few words and skips the rest so I have to add the rest after I click 'ok'



When you click 'ok' this code will be added to your message. Just cut out the text I circled and add anything you want.



The same goes for 'EX' (external quote)

Wow I did it

Testing Testing Testing

Thank you Probedbygreys!

Maybe CruelCat can use this helpful info, also!

Originally posted by Lexion
First, welcome to ATS !! Much to explore, here.

Second, paragraph's are our friends. Reading a block of text like that can be taxing on some.
Third...interesting story. Might oughta go see a Dr., just to be safe.

Anyway, welcome aboard.

Lex

Well i thought i might like this place but it seems its not a very good one for me. I came with a concern and instead i got a lesson in English / writing. I did that becuase i was only allowed so many characters and i was running out of time in fear my fiance would see me write. He has had experiences since we have been together in the last 6 years so I don't think i need a doctor. I also dont' know how he would feel about me voicing my concerns on this to other strangers.
I understand paragraphs are our friends. But i didn't come here to write a fiction novel and have every piece perfectand pretty.
Also I'm a bit freaked out and i have troubles communicating myself in these situations.
Sorry you think i need a doc. I really didn't want anything but to get it out of my concious to some people that don't know me but understand my anxiety in the matter.
Sorry I wasted ya'lls time. Sorry if you think i'm being to sensitive. Just can't call a forum home if i get lessons in english right off the bat. Trust me i'm kind of laughing my butt of cuzz goodness thats just a little OC.
I saw on sesame street once a song and dance, they were singing "you do it your way I'll do it mine, get the funky rythm and we'll both do fine" heh.

Originally posted by cruelcat
I was running out of time in fear my fiance would see me write.

Goodbye CruelCat. Your story truly moved me and I'll never forget it. I'm forever indebted to you for coming here and sharing it. Good luck and best wishes on your travels.

Please come back soon and just click the 'ignore' tab below the names of the people who are annoying. It makes life heavenly when you can just switch off the negativity with one click!!

Take care

Thank you for the kind words Probedbygrays. I decided to go ahead and do what you suggested. User ignored. I wish i could have just done that to begin with (didn't know i had that power : P).
I really do want to get alot of this stuff off my chest. With people that already at least some what acknowledge that there is a possibility that they exist. I have a hard time talking these things out with my group of friends. I am very afraid to be thought of as crazy. This is also the only site i have found so far where i can go. I do enjoy forums for things i am interested in and to seek more knowledge. If these things are real I want to be a little better prepared next time.
My very last experience is what scared me the most. I am truly frightened. I am frightened for my 3 daughters.
Which by the way, I do not speak to my daughters about this. In case my mother did put all this in my head when i was little and its all false. I don't want them to come up with stories. If they have any experiences its going to come fresh from them without any subliminal help from me. hehe

With that I will tell more about what has happened to me.

After I was 19 I didn't have any more problems that I remember except feeling that something was gonna happen that night. I would get anxiety, stay awake until i was literally falling asleep in my chair. I would often have to check under beds and in closets before i went bed on these certain nights i would "feel" the anxiety of just knowing they were comming. The dog was a good clue for me as well. She would bark at something in a corner of the room. One time she barked at a painting on the wall (or at least that direction) that has been there for years now. My dog is a normal dog, just like any other. She is very cool headed and only barks when needed.

After my fiance and i got together 6 years ago I started to get more then just creepy feelings. Now they were involving him and i both. I never saw another "being" though. Here is an example.

We were in bed. He gets a little narcaleptic in bed sometimes hehe. I was still awake but getting the dozies. He woke up freeking out and I gues i had started dozing but just as he woke up and screamed i came to and saw the end of a bright flash. Its hard to explain. If i had not opened my eyes a second later i would have compeltely missed it. He said that he had been stuck to the bed and couldn't move and then there was a flash of light. He said it was all he could do just to breath. I didn't tell him i saw the flash first. he told me first. I thought i was just seeing things being woken up so hastely. He was really upset at this. So bad he asked me to leave the room for a little while. : /

One night we were in bed and both just falling asleep again. We both wake up at teh same time becuase something in our heads clicked. Once again i was just falling asleep and i heard a loud "click" in my head in the back towards the neck. It was like something had turned on a switch. It felt electric and had a slight buzz to the noise. He told me he heard a click as well. I wasn't able to stay awake either. Usually i can just wake up after something like that. But it felt as if I was being told to not get out of bed. I felt like i had just been drugged before surgery and your counting and can't make it to 4. I was very afraid. I managed to get closer to my fiance and felt a little safer but that took alot of will power to do.

I will have to write my last experience in another post. I am running out of characters again. So more in a sec

My last memory experience is what brought me here to begin with. Up until now i have never felt threatened by them. As a matter of fact my first 2 memories felt very calm and ok. I felt as if i was in no harm. I also remember acting like they were familiar to me when i was with them. So maybe i had seen them several times with just no memories??? I felt as if i was having some coffee witha friend at brunch or something. Never stared or gawked i acted compeltely at ease with them.
But this last time I was definately not at ease. I had been restless this night. My fiance was even awake late feeling anxious. I dont' even remember getting to bed this night. My last thing i remember was being in the living room fully awake with a cofee and playing video games. (yes i loves my video games : P) Next thing i know i'm waking up on my bed glued to it completely head to toe. I heard voices and opened my eyes. I could not get them to move however. They were glued to a shadow on the wall that is never there becuase there is not a light source to cast a shadow for this part of my bedroom wall. The shadow itself was tall and skinny. They were talking about me. I hear my fiance as well. He is asking if I'm going to be ok. My breathing was difficult, i felt as if all gravity of earth was on my chest.
I managed after several minutes to get my head to align with my body ( i was on my back) And there it was standing over me and trying to calm me. I never got a word out of it but i could feel it trying to sympathize with me and calm me down. He then nods his head and I'm out. I wake up with the usual aches in my neck and torso that seems to happen to me after these memories. I can't forget aches like these. They aren't the same as other aches of every day life and routine. I also at this point have a weird wound in the crease of where my leg meets my torso. The skin was torn but clean cut and looked like the wound had begun healing as if I had done it a week ago. Its hard to explain this wound. It looked as if I had been cleanly cut but with no bleeding and new skin was there already. It took 3 weeks to compeletey heal back to normal and it was only about an inch long. Seemed weird to me that i had this wound that was already healed as far as oozing and blood goes but yet took so long to heal to normal... There is no scar but it looked like something that would have required stitches if it were under other circumstances.

But this is the last experience i have had. Its been about 3 months. It has been eating me up ever since that night. I really dont' think i would be so bothered by this if I was asked to come along. And since i am comming along I really wish they could explain things to me or show me some cool stuff. I would love to see space. Gimme some payment for this crap. Its all i ask. I give you what ever gimme something awe inspiring. But at this point I feel as if I'm being used. It just seem so unfair to wander around wondering if it really happened. I hate being kept in the dark and it seems as if I'm just going to stay there.

If any of you have had similar experiences i would love to hear it. Especially the electrical click switch in my head. That really made me angry. I do hear that paralasis is normal in these experiences though and can even be written off as sleep paralasis. Which i am not discounting at all. Who knows. I am torn between what i feel is happening and what a sceptic would say. I want proof for myself. I can't afford a regressionist, I wish i could. But maybe even though I say i want to know when it comes down to it, I might not want to know what they have done to me.

I think they have started on my 12 year old as well. She has been late on her TOM 3 times now in the last 2 years that she started. ( could be becuase she has only had it for 2 years) But during these times she is neausious, breasts are tender and a BIG B word.

When the alien beings first started appearing in my life I was single and I decided straight away to do everything I could to get close to the beings and find out all I could. What I found was mind numbing. They are around us all the time . Humans only see three dimensions out of about twelve. There are masses of them like a swarming hive and there are different types just like hives have different size ants for different tasks.

After a few years of being with them I got over the shock and hurt and I started telling people on the net it was OK and they won't hurt you. But people don't want anything to do with such beings. And in cases like yours where you have been injured by them it is no wonder. I found that whenever they injured me it was by accident and they were highly apologetic afterwards, but if people are not communicating with them then there is no way for the people to receive an apology or explanation about what has happened.

Some of them are very loving and kind while others are like robots. One night they put an implant behind my ear which really hurt and then the next night they put one in my five year old son's ear. He woke up in a lot of pain the next day and yet there was nothing I could do.

I live at the beach and many women wear bikinis to the shopping mall and I noticed one day that every woman had small pressure bruises on the same spot on their hips. I had been held by the aliens in that spot and had bruises there also so I was stunned to see that they had done the same to everyone.

Truly they are all over us and if we could see them all the time we would go out of our minds or not be able to focus on our lives.

Your story has a unique human touch to it and you make me realize how frightening these beings truly must be. I was so obsessed with getting close to them and finding out more that I lost touch with my human side almost. I tell people not to worry and the beings are harmless but really they do hurt some people at times and that isn't nice.