Right and Wrong choices -- how do you know??

How do you know when the choices that you've made, are making, are about to make.. are right or wrong? (or, at least, more right or more wrong than your current position...)

I've been feeling a push for change, and I'm not sure whether to listen or not. (My problem is that I think too much.. so I'm totally confused over whether it's just my brain messin' with me, or if it's something that I really need to pay attention to..)

I know that this isn't a question that anyone can answer for me, (which is frustrating in and of itself... when will my mother get her Book of Answers or the Magic Wand that just 'poof!' makes everything all better!?!), but I'm confused to the point of absolute indecision... which is no good, and only more frustrating/confusing, because the urge for change doesn't subside - just my will to follow thru. (What if I'm wrong?)


Me and Hamlet... I totally understand his issue! (I'm not contemplating avenging anyone's death.. just referring to the 'he thinks to much' argument..)

:bnghd:

I'm the one banging my head..
and I'm the wall at the same time.

I don't know about the specifics of your dilemma, but here's my two cents on the matter.

Listen to your heart. What would 'feel' right for you to do? Every one is different, and as such will see things in different ways.

Use common sense, first of all. Then consider the pros and cons of the choices you are about to make.

Balancing pros and cons is always a fool proof way of trying to solve an issue.

Another trick is to measure the issue to something on a grander scale. Try to view the situation from a different view and maybe realize that its not as big of an issue as previously thought. Now you don't want to exactly down play everything, but understand that things probably could be worse.

Not very often you can be in a situation and say, "Ya know what, it doesn't get any worse than this!"

The choices you make will lead you to the lessons you need to learn. None will be 100% good and none 100% bad. Make the decisions you feel comfortable with and expect to get run over by a truckload of crap. If that doesn't happen you will still have lots to learn from the decision.

We all make very good and very bad decisions. What we learn from them is whats important.

wupy

As mrwupy and others have stated or alluded to, we only realize the "right/wrong" of a choice or decision after such has been made and acted upon.

Our response to the "results" of said choice/decision is what determines "a lesson learned" or "a choice well made". ?

In my opinion such is Life, and from experience it's a never-ending quest to attain a better understanding of ourselves and, hopefully, to become that which we aspire to be.




$.02


[edit on 7/20/2006 by 12m8keall2c]

This might sound silly, but I use my tummy.

I think about the options/choices I have and whichever one upsets my stomach the least is the one I go with.

* "Love your neighbor as yourself" - Moses (ca. 1525-1405 BCE) in the Torah, Leviticus
* "Hurt no one so that no one may hurt you" — Muhammad, The Farewell Sermon.
* "What you do not want others to do to you, do not do to others." -Confucius (ca. 551–479 BCE)
* "What is hateful to you, do not to your fellow man." - Hillel (ca. 50 BCE-10 CE)
* "Do to others as you would have them do to you." - Jesus (ca. 5 BCE—33 CE) in the Gospels,Luke 6:31;Luke 10:27 (affirming of Moses);Matthew 7:12;
*You don't like it done to you, don't do it to others - Me, belowtopsecret.com

Originally posted by Umbrax
*You don't like it done to you, don't do it to others - Me, belowtopsecret.com

Priceless!


lol

Thank you one and all.

I know on the grander scale of life, what I choose to do wouldn't make a dang bit of difference. And, yes, it could always be worse.. that's become my mantra, which kinda sorta almost makes me feel better sometimes. I've been in worse spots than this.. and I've managed to deal, so I know I can deal with just about anything.

I hate hurting people, be it physically, mentally, anything-ly. Oftentimes, I care more for someone else than myself. That, right now, is the rub.. I feel like I need to learn to like myself again. (never made it to love.. just like) I feel like I've forgotten about me.. forgot what it was that *I* wanted. Sounds odd, but I feel like I hafta learn how to be selfish... (sounds sooo friggin' backwards!)

But, my personal dilemna has only partly to do with the trying to realize the 'only me' complex, if you will. Part of me feels like I need my own space, a place that is truly *mine*.. but I can't have that without hurting someone.. and the guilt of hurting them would, well, hurt me. (And in that respect alone, I feel quasi okay, because I know that I'd be causing more pain for myself than for anyone else.. which, I think it was Ghandi, would approve of..)

And I don't know if my own space is what I really need, or if it just seems like the easiest possible solution.. (Did I mention that I hate confrontations?)

'sometimes you just hafta take a leap of faith' someone told me.. (as I've been talking to people irl about this very question). It turns around again, faith in whom? in what direction? ...and how far does faith go before becoming silly, rather than virtuous? (anyone ever read 'The Tale of Griselda'?)


ever see the moths at the end of their life.. they fly so hard and so fast, but end up going in circles, crash, and get up and start flying again.. I feel just like that. I'm so determined to get someplace (to a decision), that I'm flying, heading in some direction or another.. but I fly in circles because I don't really have a destination (in fact, I'm still looking for one). So I crash, look around for a moment, restless, then fly again.. in circles..
It's not the right way to go about things.
But it's not any more correct to sit and ponder forever which direction is the best..
What's the point in drying one's wings if you never fly anywhere?

I'm a writer with no stories of my own to tell because I've never really done anything.. besides think.. and those stories aren't very good.
Only in emails/letters and bts can you get away with stream-of-consciousness..

So thank you again..
I shall let all the thoughts and advice float in my universe with me. (Thank you!) Something hasta make sense eventually..
(And I'm gonna try the tummy thing.. altho right now, he's just hungry! )

[edit on 20-7-2006 by Diseria]

[edit on 20-7-2006 by Diseria]

[edit on 21-7-2006 by Diseria]

That sounds very similar to a question I asked my tummy several years ago.

Imagine yourself 5 years from now, there and not there. The stomach doesn't lie. It made the right choice for me, because deep down, I already knew the answer to my question.

So, I asked my tummy.. I said, option A? thought about it for awhile, it got upset. Okay, clear the head, now, option B? thought about it, and my tummy's still upset.
So I said fine, screw it, I won't think about it anymore. I can't figure out an answer, so obviously I'm asking the wrong question. Been on this kick for about a week..
My tummy was okay for about a day, then became upset because of stress.. the stress of not thinking about the situation, of denying myself the confusion.. because I still don't know and I'm at a point where I'd really like to figure it out (beyond the frustration of just figuring out an answer..)..

My current situation does not feel wrong. It just doesn't feel right, right now. (in fact, it's a very good situation, one that I feel lucky in being in..) And yet, I feel too comfortable... and that confuses me as well. I cannot remember ever having a moment where I was uncomfortable with comfort. I mean, the bed's comfy, then I have a good night's sleep. The chair's comfy, so I can sit peacefully.. Comfort, up until this point, has been a *good* thing...

And I hate drama, so why introduce it? (The very thought of starting drama upsets my stomach..)
Then again, maybe the introduction's already been made in my head, and all I'd be doing is making it tangible...

In short, I don't know if the tummy thing worked. I might not be asking the correct question, or I might not be able (willing?) to hear the answer....

ARG!!!!

In my opinion such is Life, and from experience it's a never-ending quest to attain a better understanding of ourselves and, hopefully, to become that which we aspire to be.

This is half of my dilemna.. I don't know if I understand myself, or even know my self.. (I thought I did, but I'm never too sure... about anything, really..) I know what I am at this very moment, and have recently decided not to rely on tomorrow (as, technically, tomorrow doesn't really exist..). I learned to lean on the idea of tomorrow being better than today, the hope that something will work itself out. And that works, to a point. .. ish.
But the idea of 'tomorrow' doesn't really solve anything. It just puts it off..
No, I'm not expecting a package that explains myself.. gave up on that too.
But I'm also not a big risk taker.. too much could go wrong, and I might not be able to fix it. Is that just 'life' as well? ...seems to me that it'd only teach me not to take risks.. to think about everything until I'm certain what's necessary. That's what I'm doing, and instead of walking my path, I feel like I'm sitting and pondering. I don't know where my origin really is, or, rather, when I was there I didn't realize it.. so I'm unsure of where to return to in order to find my path, my self, again..

And the more I think about it, the more uncertain I get about even thinking about it.. but I hate rash decisions..

[edit on 3-8-2006 by Diseria]