What the heck has been up with me lately?

I have been in school, but something has been going wrong. I have began looking into certain peoples eyes. I began to get a weird feeling, it felt like they had no souls. Why is it like that? I just get a extreme feeling of emptiness. What is going on with me?


Mod Edit: title

[edit on 20-5-2006 by kinglizard]

Arkham,

Do you feel the emptiness is because of you, or because of the people you are talking about?

When did you start feeling you were looking at people with no souls? Did something happen to cause that?

occasion. I think it happens when we slow down a bit in our own chaos and observe the chaos of others

I'ts not that they have no souls, persay it's just they are likely very self absorbed and what you're picking up is the void. I find that connections with others really suffer at certain times of the year.

You're in school and it's probably a really busy time for eveyone.

Not sure what methods of relax or meditation you're into but I'd say try some of them and see if it helps ober the course of a couple days.

I, as well as everyone else, have just recently had a massive amount of tension released. (My school had all of the hectic stuff done with a month ago). My chaos has just begun. For self-realization has begun. I don't know why people appear to have no souls. It is just normally, I can look into someones eyes and see hopes, fears, goals, dreams, in essence, humanity. But a few I have seen as of late, I see nothing in them, it is like they are dolls. In a religious sense, just a massive collection of mathimatical algorithums (Spelling?) instead of an actual person. It has happened ever since I first met these people. Nothing happened. They just are beginning to look as I do. Hollow, nothing more than the shell of an existence, trying to continuously exist because it cannot understand that it is no longer a prison for a soul. But I realize it, they don't.

Maybe your looking into those people's eyes that have no spirituality? Just my theory when I first read this thread.

You are either having an eye opening spiritual experience or a
psychological disturbance. It's impossible to tell which from a
distance.

I suggest you go to a very spiritual person for discernment as
well as a psychologist, perhaps the school psychologist can help
you out.

That's not a dig. There is nothing wrong with checking to be sure
you aren't suffering from a disorder. If you get a clean bill from
the psychologist then you can know for sure it's something
spiritual.

I know what you mean Arkham - and you're experiencing something that I experienced - and it's a sad thing.

You're not actually peering into their minds though, nor are you able to observe if a person has a soul or not (or indeed what those souls are doing).

You have realized though, just how alone you are.

My realization began late one night (graveyard shift - aka, 7pm to 7am) at about 12am - the time of night where if I'm up, I always get philosophical. I can get philosophical at other times, but at that hour of the wolf, I can't help it.

I started to talk to my work-mate about God, the afterlife... things that were important to me. Every time I asked him a question though, he would respond with only the shortest of answers. Eventually, after one particular question which I expected him to answer with something long and thought-out, he couldn't think of anything. I was like, "Man, don't you ever think about this stuff?"

"No... do you?"

"Yeah, all the time."

"Jeez... most of the time I'm just thinking about girls."

My heart plummeted 50 feet.

I realized that I was essentially alone up there in Timmins... no one that I was working with there had any spirit to them - they didn't question things in life, just went about doing things in a genetically pre-described pattern. Sickening to me really. If you looked into their eyes, Arkham, you would say they had no soul.

But the people at home that I know - the scarce few that DO think about those kinds of things, and that have dreams of the future and such... there is something different about them, but you only come to realize it after talking with them, or at least seeing the way they act.

You've come to realize now that a LOT of people at your school, like at mine, don't care about things that are important. They care about having money, having sex. Anything else is just there. They don't think about God, or about spirituality, or about philosophical right or wrongs. They don't think about politics (which is not so bad... but certainly not a good thing).

When you look at these people, now that you've realized this, your mind pierces the clouds of their actions and sees their intents, and you've seen that many have no intents. They're living their lives with only themselves in mind. You, and a few people you know, are living for others - a truly righteous reason to live for. I have seen disabled people with more spirit and dreams and ambitions than some of those people.

I hope you do well, good luck in seeing through this time.

Something tells me Yarium hit the spot, and that is praise coming from me

I remember having that hollowness actually. It was back when I was talking to guy over MSN. He had problems with girls like I did. He told me he soon wanted to have sex with someone and it was gonna be good.

A few times later he was telling me, that he had gotten phone numbers from girls at a party all night, and he rubbed it in my face. It sort of pierced me to be honest.

Next morning I woke up with the feeling of emptiness in my heart and I looked out the window to see rain, and I thought the rain was beautiful. I started to think of rain and darkness as light. One thing lead to another and I started thinking about cutting my wrist, and I almost did. But each time I stood in the bathroom with the razor or a bottle of pain killers, I would realize I didne't have the guts to do it. As well as small things at school would put me down and depress me. If people would yell at me, I would feel really depressed when I came home.

I suffered this feeling for about a year, and I started talking to myself. I felt I was talking to another part of me, one that had not heard me for a long time.

I began to discuss the pain with myself, and I began to feel better... It lead to me talking about spirituality with myself, and that lead to meditation. From meditation I wanted to learn how to get into posture, thus; Yoga. But the pain was still there.

One day I read about Buddha, and began to talk to myself about it. Something made me think though; Buddha had no girlfriend in approximatingly 40 years. And after that I began telling myself, that I had no need for a girlfriend, but I had need for spirituality as I would set spirituality higher than love. Shortly after that I remember reading a famous Buddhist quote saying:

"You can search the entire universe looking for someone worth more than your love for yourself, and you will find none" and my pain was gone.

I believe it to be my karma at some point, and every time I stood in the bathroom with a bottle of pills or a razor, it would be the part I was talking to that was holding me back from doing it. Today, I find still find myself talking to my other half, of course it resembles the path of a psycho, but I don't really care what others call me.

Oh, and well... Don't fall deeper than nessesary my friend.

Everything that's been said in this topic I agree with, and what's scarier is that I've had these ideas before as well....

About the girl thing though, you will find a girl who has the same interest as you if you just let them come to you. I can't really explain it but the girl I'm dating now basically fell into my lap and shes my counterpart in a girl. She thinks the same way, has the same kind of spirituality (that Christians aren't living the way they should be etc) about us all being a part of God, something along those lines.

Yarium/Volatile I feel the two of you always have something worthwhile to comment on and this discussion is no exception...

I too have looked into people's eyes and felt like they had no soul. I went to a baseball game last night and I felt everytime I looked at people they had a blank stare back at me. Yes like there was nothing behind them, but a few people looked back and I could see a little light. Again though, this is a scary thing because 95% of the people in our world will look like that to a semi-spiritually awakened person. I am not claiming to be enlightened, but I definately am open to new ideas etc.

I hope we have helped you on your journey.

I've had this happen to me before, too-- and frankly, it's almost scary the first time you experience it.

For me, the first time I felt that way, I didn't automatically think, "This person has no soul." I came to that conclusion later. The first thing I thought, was actually that that person was just lacking something, but couldn't tell what.


Also, I found myself looking into someone's eyes and thinking, "This person has a very young soul." I've thought this way even before I started believing in reincarnation-- when I still considered myself "christian."


It's a very curious thing to experience-- almost like an epiphany. I don't know why one would feel this, nor if it's even accurate... I just wanted to add in that I know what you're going through....

i don't think those people are souless, they probably don't think too much, but there's no harm in that, i find it certainly insulates you against a lot of depression, anyway i wouldn't dwell on it too long, i've enough troble with my own soul to worry about people that show little enough interest, i did at one stage, but that way leads to insanity.

as for girl trouble, i alway's find it's only hard to find good ones when you want to, once you stop giving a crap they find you.

Originally posted by pieman
as for girl trouble, i alway's find it's only hard to find good ones when you want to, once you stop giving a crap they find you.

exactly my point...she found me and i couldnt be happier. take a step back from the dating world and let things happen on their own. that is of course if you believe in fate and/or destiny.

It sounds like a lot of you are going through the same thing as I have.

I have spoken to both a psychiatrist and many spiritual elders. The psychiatrist said it could be mild depression (total bs i think), so i spoke to some spiritual poeple, for a different opinion.

They told me it was a spiritual growth. The first step to "enightenment" as they put it is the shredding of your human ego, when you spot worrying about self-absorbed problem and begin to focus on the real problems in life. You see the world in a different way, you see the real problems in life, and want to find solutions that will help humanity as a whole. You begin to question the status quo.

Thats you my view, hope it helps any of you

I have already, as of late, put my thoughts of relations of happiness with humans to rest. Some of the peole that I see no souls in, I have never spoke to them before. It just feels like they are pawns. Whether I dwell on it or not doesn't affect it. I have been diagnosed with depression.But I have been that way for 10 years. Why would the souless appear now? Just how do I make it stop? Or is it that they are merely like me, who wish to seperate themselves from the civilized world. And wish for the next level of enlightenment in the world?

How... to... make... it... stop...

The best way is to try to get to know some of these people, to find out what it is they want to do, and how they do it. If they still can't pull themselves out of their base instincts, then you are under no obligations to be friends with them. Simply go about your life. You will forget them... and they won't forget you.

I always found that interesting. Everyone I have ever met seems to remember me - even ones that haven't seen me for over almost a decade. Why? Because the life I live, and the warmth I radiate, people cling to that. It's something they don't have. They don't have it, because they haven't searched their own souls in whatever way they do. They haven't come face to face with their beliefs, and don't know how to think deep. They think their lives are drama TV, and build their belief structure singularily on what's handed out to them.

In time, given that you don't get yourself down too much, that soulless feeling will pass. Try to find perhaps just a few friends you really like, and stick with them. I think that out of everyone I know, I've only ever really kept 3 very close friends.

I don't know.

You have to find your own way, your own path.

But let me tell you all one thing about suicide. Me and my very best friend long ago decided this. Suicide is the coward's way out. You may think you are "not brave enough" to do it - but now, it's because you are proud of your life that you're not doing it. The coward looks for an easy solution to their problems, and suicide is the simplest. You are brave, heroic even, if you stand up to those problems and either change things to make things better (even if it hurts you), or even if you just weather the storm.

Good luck Arkham.

@Biggie Smalls

It is the universal law of attraction, look up on google.

@Arkham

I see every unnatural feeling, like pain and depression as the oppotunity to get stronger. It feeds on your resources, and affects your chakras. It does indeed (to me) seem like we are all enlightened by these pains. It is common karma.

Originally posted by Arkham
Why would the souless appear now? Just how do I make it stop? Or is it that they are merely like me, who wish to seperate themselves from the civilized world. And wish for the next level of enlightenment in the world?

I really don't think these people have no souls, I believe those peopel are just people who are so wrapped up in their own lives, that their ego's have taken over their lives. Whetehr it be over themselves, monitary possessions, pursuit of $, they only see what they wanna see.

I thought that through, about them being wrapped up in tangible greed. But the range of people are so wide on the spectrum. It goes to my justification that all humans are evil. But 1 question remains, why do I see no soul in me. I am actually a loner, so I try to disassociate myself with humans as much as possible. Throughout my entire life. I have kept the same 7 friends, and had no one else. Well not so much that I picked them, as much as the people just won't go away. I only try to get stronger. To reach the next platform on my way to perfection, to be truly, inhuman. I have no idea what chakras or anything pertaining to that sect of belief is. Not seeing souls wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't for something that happened to me when I was a child. One friend I used to have was always very happy. I had no idea that I was depressed. The girl was having a good time at her birthday party. For some reason, our eyes connected. She immediatly started crying. At the same moment, I realized how much I hate life/humans. I later went to console her. And when I looked in her eyes, she appeared different. She looked hollow. A child, deprived of the tainted ways of humanity and greed. And she looked hollow. She said, "I feel empty inside". I felt as though I stole her soul. And the memories that are attached to that time are deeply horrifing. They all have the same look she had that day. P.S. she, as of recent, has ran away.

Most interesting...

Even I have no theory to why people appear to have this emptiness. My utmost best guess would be they are all without spirituality.

Sit and wait for something better, but they have long realised that they won't find it where they sit. Though their fear holds them down with 7 chains linked to that chair they sit upon. Only so few of us ever break free. And to be correct; I haven't yet :/

But I hope you do, and lets hope Yarium actually has a theory or fact about what is happening with you.

[edit on 20-5-2006 by Volatile]

But one thing still confuses me. Why can I not see the soul in my own eyes? I question everything in life. I even question life itself. Often I state that I wonder if I am awake or in a dream I will never wake up from. I understand that humans are blind. But I mostly see souls in those who don't have a care in the world. I live not the paradox of human life in this world. But follow a nearly opposite path. So why do I not see a person in myself? Is it because even though I realize I am greedy, I am still greedy. That is the key to solving this. I can't see the chains that bind me here. The chains still hold them. My theory is that they have just given up. They have decided to live vicariously through those who have broken free. But it still doesn't explain why I am what I am, to appear empty. But I might just be living the life I accuse the others of living and just not know it. To never be happy with what I have. But there unhappiness is of this world, but mine is of mental and spiritual completion. An angry soul can never be satisfied, but still searches blindly for attainment of those who they, unfortunatly, share the same existence with. Hence my curse. Or is it my gift. To see the foolishness of others and blindly strive for the same thing. To have experience for my search for the chalice that holds the liquid that will quench the burning of my anguish. (I know I am sounding far off right now, but for some reason, my thought pattern isn't working as good as normal.