Advice By Loki

Originally posted by ktprktpr
MA I think you leading married men astray.

Loki- Here's a question for you:

I'm thinking of starting a business. I know a large number of business fail, but I still think I can succeed. What kind of things should I watch out for?

I just started a business and I can tell you from personal experiance, depending on if you are providing a service, they expect it for free to gain your reputation with them. I have had trouble charging people for even 50% of what other business's of the same field would charge because I am new. They want me to consult them for free. Be careful and have business relations set up in advance and make sure you stand by your business theory 100%.

Originally posted by Dreamz

Originally posted by Loki

Originally posted by Dreamz
Ok I have been single for over a year now and have met many women who are interested in a relationship. But none have tickled my fancy. Why is it so hard to meet a girl who is personable, intellectual and beautiful? Am I being to picky?

The thing about women, is that to find the woman right for you, you first must be honest with yourself. Are you really looking for a woman that will challenge you? Or are you looking for a woman cut from the female version of your mold? The real question here is, do you want a woman so close to your own personality that you can predict here every move? I'd highly doubt that if you found a woman like that, you'd stay with her for too long. No, my advice is to seek someone different enough from you, that they make you think. They make you adapt, and you make them adapt. I think that if you find a woman whom has to adapt to your personality, and you to hers, you'll know each other as well as you can know another, and you'll both be much happier than if she was your exact copy.

Hope that helps.

I am completely honest with every girl I meet. I tell them what i want and they say they are that person, then wether they are opposite of me or not end up being complete boneheads. Don't you think someone interested in the same areas I am interested in would be better suited for my personality?

I can tell you from experience that my last girlfriend was the most wonderful woman i ever met. She was beautiful, funny, Smart, honest, and get this.... she actually liked the same stuff that I did. We were connected. The time we were together was wonderful. And had we stayed together I would have married her. We broke up because she went away to school. She wanted to stay with me but I decided to brake it off so she could pursue her dream. I think My problem is that I compare every girl I go out with to her and not one of them come even close.

Originally posted by ktprktpr
Loki- Here's a question for you:

I'm thinking of starting a business. I know a large number of business fail, but I still think I can succeed. What kind of things should I watch out for?

Good for you, Ktprktpr.

I like to see entrepreneurship. The first thing I'd like to address is that you need to, before doing anything else, analyze your target market. What do they need? How would they prefer to get it. Get this all on paper. Then, you need to decide how you'd go about getting your supplies, cheaper than anyone else. If you're in the west, and need office supplies, i'd recommend Corporate Express. they're cheaper than office depot, or staples, and they have quality.

If not, I'd recommend looking around, and prebuying. get quotes from several different companies for paper supplies, etc.

Some of the things you need to look out for are poor employees, and extrraneous costs, which would eat at your profits. obviously, if it's a small business, you won't need a company car.

If you're going to be getting a loan(which you probably will), find a loan that has a stable rate on it, not just a low initial rate. It may seem like it costs more, but if your business hits it off big, you can pay it off quickly. If not, that other loan will come back and bite you.

Other than that, I'd just say make sure you know what you're getting into. I can't say that enough. It is of the utmost importance that you at least have a rough Idea of how you're company will do, and I don't just mean projections. Whenever you see people, ask them questions...

"Would you buy..?"
"Do you feel the need for?"
"If you could get it cheaper, would you?"

Those sorts of things. That's about all I can say on that.

Hope this helps.

Originally posted by Dreamz

I am completely honest with every girl I meet. I tell them what i want and they say they are that person, then wether they are opposite of me or not end up being complete boneheads. Don't you think someone interested in the same areas I am interested in would be better suited for my personality?

Did you ever think that you need to talk with yourself before you talk to the woman? because that's what I'm hearing. You're doing all the telling. Maybe you need to listen to what they want from a man. I can guarantee that what you're saying is.."I'll tell them what I want, and become what they need".

That doesn't work. You need to tell yourself what you are, before you try to tell a woman. So, once you find out what you can be for someone else, then you can start figuring out what someone else can be for you.

I hope that helps.

Originally posted by Ocelot:

I can tell you from experience that my last girlfriend was the most wonderful woman i ever met. She was beautiful, funny, Smart, honest, and get this.... she actually liked the same stuff that I did. We were connected. The time we were together was wonderful. And had we stayed together I would have married her. We broke up because she went away to school. She wanted to stay with me but I decided to brake it off so she could pursue her dream. I think My problem is that I compare every girl I go out with to her and not one of them come even close

That's quite possible, Ocelot. I'd reccommend trying this, I know it sounds weird, but try this.

Just go out one night, with your buddies, and tell them to hook you up with someone. Then, on the blind date, push your old g/f out of mind, and see if this person sparks your interest, even a little. Chances are that you haven't put your g/f out of your subconscious, and you should think about pursuing something with this new girl. obviously, with your G/F still on your mind, you were able to be interested, and maybe that's a sign of something more than interest. Give it a try.

Hope that helps.

Originally posted by Loki

Originally posted by Dreamz

I am completely honest with every girl I meet. I tell them what i want and they say they are that person, then wether they are opposite of me or not end up being complete boneheads. Don't you think someone interested in the same areas I am interested in would be better suited for my personality?

Did you ever think that you need to talk with yourself before you talk to the woman? because that's what I'm hearing. You're doing all the telling. Maybe you need to listen to what they want from a man. I can guarantee that what you're saying is.."I'll tell them what I want, and become what they need".

That doesn't work. You need to tell yourself what you are, before you try to tell a woman. So, once you find out what you can be for someone else, then you can start figuring out what someone else can be for you.

I hope that helps.

No No No.....when a girl asks, so what do you want pr expect from us? I explain. Then I ask the same question in return. It happens to usually be what I want to hear, which isnt what I really want to hear. Does that make sense. Alot of the relationships I get into are strictly sexual because I have no interest outside of that after I know them .......Am I shallow?

No No No.....when a girl asks, so what do you want pr expect from us? I explain. Then I ask the same question in return. It happens to usually be what I want to hear, which isnt what I really want to hear. Does that make sense. Alot of the relationships I get into are strictly sexual because I have no interest outside of that after I know them .......Am I shallow?

You have to decide what you really want, then, Dreamz. If you're having this sort of trouble finding what you want from a relationship, then you really need to figure out what you need from life, first. Where do you intend to go with it? Once you figure out where you want to end up, you can find someone who wants to end up in a situation complimentary. Please understand, I'm not trying to contradict my earlier advice, but maybe finding someone with similar goals that you can both work together on, will be beneficial. And I really can't offer any more help on this subject. I don't profess to be a professional, but I have experience. I can merely try my hardest to help. Thanks for asking, though.

Hope this helps.

Loki,

I am experiencing middle age angst, that inner conflict between expectations of self and one's innermost unmet needs.

Should I continue the ruthless battle to accumulate more 'stuff' or spend more of my time posting at ATS fighting left wing teenagers?

Should I exist in the dream of a perfect world that I know can never exist but continue the 'good fight' or become a self absorbed greedy average person?

What should I do Loki, why entire future rests in your hands (maybe even my soul too)?

Originally posted by THENEO
Loki,

I am experiencing middle age angst, that inner conflict between expectations of self and one's innermost unmet needs.

Should I continue the ruthless battle to accumulate more 'stuff' or spend more of my time posting at ATS fighting left wing teenagers?

Should I exist in the dream of a perfect world that I know can never exist but continue the 'good fight' or become a self absorbed greedy average person?

What should I do Loki, why entire future rests in your hands (maybe even my soul too)?

Well, I'd say that if you can recognize it, then you are halfway to the solution on your own. What you need to do firstly, is make a list of these unmet needs, rather than running around with your checkbook. Then, you need to figure out WHY you have these unmet desires. Once you can pinpoint the reason WHY, you'll know how to go about making sure that they are met, in a responsible manner. I really don't think that divorcing your wife, buying a ferarri, and taking on the role of 'sugar daddy' is the best solution to anything, let alone mid-life crisis. However, I'd recommend looking for more healthy ways to process your grief at the feeling of 'OH NO! I've wasted half my life.'
Think things through, and let me know if I can help some more.

Hope this helps.

Loki, I realize your no professional but others advice is always another point of view which is always respected.

Ok I want to be married, I have a 4 year old daughter which makes relationships hard sometimes. I know now at 25 what I want more than I have ever knew what I wanted in the past. The problem is, I think I attract immature people who I dont want anything to do with. If this explains things better, than good, if not, I guess my point is moot.

Originally posted by Dreamz
Loki, I realize your no professional but others advice is always another point of view which is always respected.

Ok I want to be married, I have a 4 year old daughter which makes relationships hard sometimes. I know now at 25 what I want more than I have ever knew what I wanted in the past. The problem is, I think I attract immature people who I dont want anything to do with. If this explains things better, than good, if not, I guess my point is moot.

If you're attracting immature people, which you want nothing to do with, then perhaps you need to act more mature. It's a fact that more often then not, immature women are attracted to mature men. What you need to do, is know the difference, because mature women are also attracted to mature men. I think that what you may want to look for is a woman with a child. Seek the single mom. It's most likely that they've had to mature, facing the same issues you have. Good luck, Dreamz.

Hope this helps.

Seriously, guys. I'm here to heal....

For real, though. I'll try my best to help.

I bet my 'patients' are out using my advice already...LOL! I'd like to hear back from you guys, though. let me know how things turn out.

Dear Loki

I'm in a bit of an awkward position. My best friends boyfriend has recently been acting cold and distant towards her. She's not sure why , and I wasnt either until tonight.

I went to the movies and who did I spot walking into the cinema but ......yes you guessed it ....... but he wasnt alone. He was with my COUSIN of all people ( I live in a city of over 5 million people what are the odds of THIS happening) ..... and they sat about 2 rows in front of me and I could see nearly everything they were doing during the movie. I almost screamed out " GET A ROOM" at one point but managed to restrain myself.

Now if this doesnt make my life nymore complicated........ by best friend is female, her bf is male ( obviously) ..... but my cousin is also male. SO now I have a double problem. My cousin , who I've always suspected of being a raging queen and the best friends boyfriend have now been outed without their knowledge. The best friend doesnt know what's going on with her relationship. And I'm sitting on a powder keg.

Do I light the fuse and tell everyone what I know? Or do I shut the hell up.

ANd no I'm NOT making any of this up!!!!!

any advice is greatly appreciated.

Originally posted by mulberryblueshimmer
Dear Loki

I'm in a bit of an awkward position. My best friends boyfriend has recently been acting cold and distant towards her. She's not sure why , and I wasnt either until tonight.

I went to the movies and who did I spot walking into the cinema but ......yes you guessed it ....... but he wasnt alone. He was with my COUSIN of all people ( I live in a city of over 5 million people what are the odds of THIS happening) ..... and they sat about 2 rows in front of me and I could see nearly everything they were doing during the movie. I almost screamed out " GET A ROOM" at one point but managed to restrain myself.

Now if this doesnt make my life nymore complicated........ by best friend is female, her bf is male ( obviously) ..... but my cousin is also male. SO now I have a double problem. My cousin , who I've always suspected of being a raging queen and the best friends boyfriend have now been outed without their knowledge. The best friend doesnt know what's going on with her relationship. And I'm sitting on a powder keg.

Do I light the fuse and tell everyone what I know? Or do I shut the hell up.

ANd no I'm NOT making any of this up!!!!!

any advice is greatly appreciated.

This is one of those few situations in which I have no experience...but what the hell, I'll take a rip at it anyhow.

I think that the first thing you need to do, is confront the two-timing 'Raging queen'(as you put it) cheating boyfriend. Tell him that if he doesn't tell your friend what's happening, you will. I'm sure that he'll listen to reason. Then, you need to be there to support your friend, for moral support.

Your last step would be to have a conversation with your cousin. I don't know what prompted this little escapade, but i'm sure that the ole' cousin was near the top of the list. I don't want to say this, but put your cousin through the guilt trip of his life. Make sure he knows what he has done.

That's what I'd do, but that's just me. If you think this will get you killed, then by all means find another solution. However, in my opinion, this is the best idea.

Hope this helps.

Dear Loki:

I graduated from high school a few years back. I attended college for 2 yrs (Math Degree for actuaria science) but have dropped out at the moment until I sort things out. One of the main reasons was because I was having difficulty with my Calculus courses. I have always been GREAT at Math among other things (I did graduate as Salutatorian). In my Calc classes I didn't seem to get a grasp of it even if I did study for hours! It was & still is a really confusing subject to me since I am more of a numerical person & not 3-d etc!!! Okay..so my point is this...are there any Mathematical careers that don't involve much Calculus. I have completed up to Calc III but barely passing with a C. I don't remember much, if anything at all. I would like to become a Math teacher but my problem with this is that this job doesn't pay very well!!! Are there any other careers you think I would be good at (I am very Good at numerical mathematics, e.g. Algebra). Also, I love helping others!!!

Thanks & Hope to hear from you soon,

P.S. I hope u can help a confused WOMAN!!! :shk::shk::shk:

[edit on 17-3-2005 by LaNena_24]

Originally posted by LaNena_24

Dear Loki:

I graduated from high school a few years back. I attended college for 2 yrs (Math Degree for actuaria science) but have dropped out at the moment until I sort things out. One of the main reasons was because I was having difficulty with my Calculus courses. I have always been GREAT at Math among other things (I did graduate as Salutatorian). In my Calc classes I didn't seem to get a grasp of it even if I did study for hours! It was & still is a really confusing subject to me since I am more of a numerical person & not 3-d etc!!! Okay..so my point is this...are there any Mathematical careers that don't involve much Calculus. I have completed up to Calc III but barely passing with a C. I don't remember much, if anything at all. I would like to become a Math teacher but my problem with this is that this job doesn't pay very well!!! Are there any other careers you think I would be good at (I am very Good at numerical mathematics, e.g. Algebra). Also, I love helping others!!!

Thanks & Hope to hear from you soon,

P.S. I hope u can help a confused WOMAN!!! :shk::shk::shk:

[edit on 17-3-2005 by LaNena_24]

Hm....

Well it seems to me like you were maybe going into that career for someone else...an old teacher, parent, what have you...regardless of the reason, and be it good or bad, it's something that you're doubting now. My Philosophy is, don't go into anything so serious as a career, if you're doubting it, especially when you're still in college.

Now, that being said, I could tell you about some other careers that use the same skillset as that.

Now, Computer Aided Drafing might be nice, you could get into some nice engineering work. If you have a mind for physics, that could also be something to look into.

But I can't stress this enough: You need to relax. Take life slow. I don't know if you like to meditate or not, but I find it's a good exercise to help me cope with stress.

This is kinda a tough situation for me to advise on, but...I think you should definitely reconsider what you're wanting to do with your life. Your career shouldn't be about the paychecks. Do it for the love. And that's what's making the difference for me.

Let me know how it goes, and I hope this helps.