Last to Post Wins!

Is this on there? Or anything do to with any of this lol I can't see

Im not as familiar with Firefox as IE, but if it operates under the same I would say Run a disc clean up and clean out the Temp and Prefetch Files.

Start -- All Programs -- Accessories -- System Tools -- Disc Clean up

&

Start -- My Computer -- C: -- WINDOWS -- Temp

Delete everything in this file

Start -- My Computer -- C: -- WINDOWS -- Prefetch

Delete everything in this file

Restart your Computer

Can not guarantee this will work as Firefox may function differently than IE, but its worth a shot.

Originally posted by chissler
What time is it where your located CB?

Almost 5PM here. At work, its a slow day. Looking to get off early.

What do you do?

I provide phone support for different companies on a technical level. Its just a job to pay the bills for me for now. Im in the process of becoming a teacher or Youth Worker at the moment.

Ugh. Any good stories of idiots calling you up?

On a regular basis. It can be so frustrating talking to somebody that is a moron but thinks they are a know it all. Some lady was screaming at me one day for all these porn popups she was having and going off the deep end. So I said exactly how old is your son? Shes like excuse me? I was like odds are you have a teenage son, she responds with Yes. I was like theirs your problem, your son is getting some exercise while on the internet.

She didn't take that too well.

Hahaha. I can't believe she thought they were just popping up all of a sudden for no reason!

I gotta add some funny tech support stuff to this thread. *Goes to google*

"Ah. Here we are."

Customer: I need help unpacking my new PC
Tech Support: What exactly is the problem?
Customer: I can't open the box. I don't even know where to start.
Tech Support: Well, I'd remove the tape holding the box closed and go from there.
Customer: Uhhhh...ok, thanks.

Tech Support: I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop.
Customer: Ok.
Tech Support: Did you get a pop-up menu?
Customer: No.
Tech Support: Ok. Right-click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?
Customer: Not at all.
Tech Support: Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?
Customer: Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I wrote down 'click'
Tech Support: Ok, did you type 'click' with the keyboard?
Customer: Yes. Oh man! I've done something stupid, huh?

Customer: I get an 'Access Denied' message every time I log in.
Tech Support: Ok. Please, make sure you have typed your username and password correctly.
Customer: Yeah, they are correct.
Tech Support: Ok. Type them again. (pause) What did you get?
Customer: 'Access Denied' again.
Tech Support: OK, let's try once more, but now use lower case letters.
Customer: But, I only have capital letters on my keyboard.

You know what I don't understand, is how can the guy that started what is and will probably always be the biggest thread to hit BTS/ATS history only has 8000 + points from this genius?

What gives anyways?

3708 posts x 2 points per post = 7416


superego,

one time I had a customer I would say please click on the Start Menu. What happens? Damn computer shut off He'd say. Ok boot it back up, Please click on the Start Menu and look for Control Panel. What happened? Shut off again, after about 30 minutes of ignoring the guy and in this loop he said why do you have me turning my computer off so much. I asked him to explain.

Here instead of clicking on the start button, he was powering his computer down every time. Probably did more damage to his computer with this than the initial problem he called in about.

I say that guy should be banned from computers for life!

I don't even remember what I said to him. He felt like a moron though. I mean common sence has to kick in at some point.

Heading to my lunch break soon, hoping they tell me to take the rest of the night off.

Computer Illiterate Support Call

'Hello, Support Desk, may I help you?'

'Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect.'

'What sort of trouble?'

'Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.'

'Went away?'

'They disappeared.'

'Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?'

'Nothing.'

'Nothing?'

'It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type.'

'Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?'

'How do I tell?'

[Uh-oh. Well, let's give it a try anyway.] 'Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?'

'What's a sea-prompt?'

[Uh-huh, thought so. Let's try a different tack.] 'Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?'

'There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type.'

[Ah--at least s/he knows what a cursor is. Sounds like a hardware problem. I wonder if s/he's kicked out his/her monitor's power plug.] 'Does your monitor have a power indicator?'

'What's a monitor?'

[SIGH] 'It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?'

'I don't know.'

'Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?'

[sound of rustling and jostling] [muffled] 'Yes, I think so.'

'Great! Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall.'

[pause] 'Yes, it is.'

[Hmm. Well, that's interesting. I doubt s/he would have accidentally turned it off, and I don't want to send him/her hunting for the power switch because I don't know what kind of monitor s/he has and it's bound to have more than one switch on it. Maybe the video cable is loose or something.]

'When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?'

'No.'

'Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable.'

[muffled] 'Okay, here it is.'

'Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer.'

[still muffled] 'I can't reach.'

'Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?'

[clear again] 'No.'

'Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?'

'Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle--it's because it's dark.'

'Dark?'

'Yes--the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window.'

'Well, turn on the office light then.'

'I can't.'

'No? Why not?'

'Because there's a power outage.'

'A power--!?!' ...[AAAAAAARGH!]

'A power outage? Aha! Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?'

'Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.'

'Good! Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from.'

'Really? Is it that bad?'

'Yes, I'm afraid it is.'

'Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?'

'Tell them you're TOO STUPID TO OWN A COMPUTER!' [slam]


--------------------------------

After experiencing difficulties with his computer, a poor, incognizant user called the system maker's technical support line for assistance...

Technician: Hello. How can I help you today?

Customer: There's smoke coming from the power supply on my computer...

Technician: Looks like you need a new power supply...

Customer: No, I don't! I just need to change the startup files...

Technician: Sir, what you described is a faulty power supply. You need to replace it...

Customer: No way! Someone told me that I just had to change the system startup files to fix the problem! All I need is for you to tell me the right command...

For the next ten minutes, in spite of the technician's efforts to explain the problem and its solution, the customer adamantly insisted that he was right. So, in frustration, the technician responded...

Technician: I'm sorry. We don't normally tell our customers this, but there's an undocumented DOS command that will fix the problem...

Customer: I knew it!

Technician: Just add the line 'LOAD NOSMOKE.COM' at the end of the CONFIG.SYS file and everything should work fine. Let me know how it goes...

About ten minutes later, the technician received a call back from the customer...

Customer: It didn't work. The power supply is still smoking...

Technician: Well, what version of DOS are you using?

Customer: MS-DOS 6.22... Technician: Well, that's your problem. That version of DOS doesn't include NOSMOKE. You'll need to contact Microsoft and ask them for a patch. Let me know how it all works out...

When nearly an hour had passed, the phone rang again...

Customer: I need a new power supply...

Technician: How did you come to that conclusion?

Customer: Well, I called Microsoft and told the technician what you said, and he started asking me questions about the make of the power supply...

Technician: What did he tell you?

Customer: He said my power supply isn't compatible with NOSMOKE...

[edit on 4/8/2006 by supergeo]

I remember reading about that. The guy got canned; I probably would of said the same thing.

chissler....you may take the rest of the night off. Just tell 'em "NotClever said so"...don't worry, everything will be cool.

I too work with fools and computers.

:bnghd:

NC

Oh, I have the perfect joke for you. Kind of goes along with what you wanted to do!


There is a dangerous virus being passed electronically, orally and by hand.This virus is called Worm-Overload-Recreational-Killer (WORK). If you receive WORK from any of your colleagues, your boss or anyone else via any means DO NOT TOUCH IT.

This virus will wipe out your private life completely. If you should come into contact with WORK put your jacket on and take two good friends to the nearest pub. Purchase the antidote known as Work-Isolator-Neutralizer-Extractor (WINE). Alternate products include Bridge-Environoment-Eradication-Resolution (BEER) and Benign-Orderly-Overload-System-Enhancer (BOOSE). Administer the antidote repeatedly until WORK has been completely eliminated from your system.

You should forward this warning to 5 friends. If you do not have 5 friends, you have already been infected and WORK is controlling your life.

Update: After extensive testing it has been concluded that Best-Equivalent-Extractor-Remedy (BEER) may be substituted for WINE but may require a more generous application.

go read this link.

The city of Tuttle, OK should be proud.

NC

Computer Jokes - How to Keep the IT Guy Happy

When you call us to have your computer moved, be sure to leave it buried under half a ton of postcards, baby pictures, stuffed animals, dried flowers, bowling trophies and children's art. We don't have a life, and we find it deeply moving to catch a fleeting glimpse of yours.

Don't write anything down. Ever. We can play back the error messages from here.

When an I.T. person says he's coming right over, go for coffee. That way you won't be there when we need your password. It's nothing for us to remember 700 screen saver passwords.

When you call the help desk, state what you want, not what's keeping you from getting it. We don't need to know that you can't get into your mail because your computer won't power on at all.

When I.T. support sends you an E-Mail with high importance, delete it at once. We're just testing.

When an I.T. person is eating lunch at his desk, walk right in and spill your guts right out. We exist only to serve.

Send urgent email all in uppercase. The mail server picks it up and flags it as a rush delivery.

When the photocopier doesn't work, call computer support. There's electronics in it.

When something's wrong with your home PC, dump it on an I.T. person's chair with no name, no phone number and no description of the problem. We love a puzzle.

When an I.T. person tells you that computer screens don't have cartridges in them, argue. We love a good argument.

When an I.T. person tells you that he'll be there shortly, reply in a scathing tone of voice: "And just how many weeks do you mean by shortly?" That motivates us.

When the printer won't print, re-send the job at least 20 times. Print jobs frequently get sucked into black holes.

When the printer still won't print after 20 tries, send the job to all 68 printers in the company. One of them is bound to work.

Don't learn the proper term for anything technical. We know exactly what you mean by "My thingy blew up".

Don't use on-line help. On-line help is for wimps.

Actually, Blue, go to Tools>Clear Private Data instead of going to your temp file

I hate this thread. I HATE IT SO MUCH!!! close it! i win!!!! DAMMIT!!! lol