Sorry, my American friends...

I found this lost somewhere in my computer. its a good read, written during that famous election when America got confused

hope you enjoy.

*stammers* b-b-but remember i d-didn't write this!!!

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

NOTICE OF REVOCATION OF INDEPENDENCE

To the citizens of the United States of America, In the light of your failure to elect a President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective today.
Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories. Except Utah, which she does not fancy. Your new Prime Minister (The Rt. Hon. Tony Blair, MP for the 97.85% of you who have until now been unaware that there is a world outside your borders) will appoint a minister for America without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire will be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed.
To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:

1.You should look up �revocation� in the Oxford English Dictionary.

Then look up �aluminium�. Check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it. Generally, you should raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels.
Look up �vocabulary�. Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with
filler noises such as �like� and �you know� is an unacceptable and
inefficient form of communication. Look up �interspersed�
2.There is no such thing as �US English�. We will let Microsoft know on your behalf.
3.You should learn to distinguish the English and Australian accents. It really isn�t that hard.
4.Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as the good guys.
5.You should relearn your original national anthem, God Save The Queen, but only after fully carrying out task 1. We would not want you to get confused and give up half way through.
6.You should stop playing American football. There is only one kind of football. What you refer to as American football is not a very good game. The 2.15% of you who are aware that there is a world outside your borders may have noticed that no one else plays "American� football. You will no longer be allowed to play it, and should instead play proper football. Initially, it would be best if you played with the girls. It is a difficult game. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which is similar to American football, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like nancies). We are hoping to get together at least a US rugby sevens side by 2005.
7.You should declare war on Quebec and France, using nuclear weapons if they give you any merde. The 98.85% of you who were not aware that there is a world outside your borders should count yourselves lucky. The Russians have never been the bad guys. Merde is French for �shyte�.
8.July 4th is no longer a public holiday. November 8th will be a new national holiday, but only in England. It will be called Indecisive Day.
9.All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and it is for your own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean.
10.Please tell us who killed JFK. It�s been driving us crazy.

Thank you for your co-operation.

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

i expect to be declared axis of evil, and to be invaded by monday

*packs suitcase*

More like Axis of willing..

Funny post, thanks.

i am glad you appreciate it fulcrum

i dont think that bush would

Well, lets not ask from him what he thinks.. cause i really dont give a flying #!

Like i said, it was funny.

Originally posted by Daystar
i am glad you appreciate it fulcrum

i dont think that bush would

I think Bush just thinks of the UK as the 51st State or a very big Aircraft Carrier

Originally posted by trinityschild

Originally posted by Daystar
i am glad you appreciate it fulcrum

i dont think that bush would

I think Bush just thinks of the UK as the 51st State or a very big Aircraft Carrier

Really? I think that Bush isnt going to be in office for much longer.. either he is voted out or killed.. we shall see..

Originally posted by FULCRUM

Originally posted by trinityschild

Originally posted by Daystar
i am glad you appreciate it fulcrum

i dont think that bush would

I think Bush just thinks of the UK as the 51st State or a very big Aircraft Carrier

Really? I think that Bush isnt going to be in office for much longer.. either he is voted out or killed.. we shall see..

Or maybe impeached (or is it inpreached), I can just see his face when he gets allocated his cell in a federal prison (Let Daddy get him out of that)

[Edited on 12-9-2003 by trinityschild]

Dont be so harsh to Bush, he is just misunderestimated

Very funny post, Daystar

Bah! We elected a president...but somehow, the one we didn't elect got into office!

Haha nice try you fog breathers, you had your chance! If you couldn't handle governing us back when "the sun never set on the British Empire" what makes you think you can now that your just a little cloud covered rock again. Next thing ya know you'll be demanding Australia and India back as well.

Britain should take control of america again i think it would be better we would improve there army.

This whole thread should be labeled: "talking out your azz....!

regards
seekerof

Originally posted by ID
Haha nice try you fog breathers, you had your chance! If you couldn't handle governing us back when "the sun never set on the British Empire" what makes you think you can now that your just a little cloud covered rock again. Next thing ya know you'll be demanding Australia and India back as well.

Nah both Australia and India speak the Queens English.

Anyway they are both Democracies, the people they elected their leader(s) are in power

Originally posted by Daystar

I found this lost somewhere in my computer. its a good read, written during that famous election when America got confused

hope you enjoy.

*stammers* b-b-but remember i d-didn't write this!!!

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

NOTICE OF REVOCATION OF INDEPENDENCE

To the citizens of the United States of America, In the light of your failure to elect a President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective today.
Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories. Except Utah, which she does not fancy. Your new Prime Minister (The Rt. Hon. Tony Blair, MP for the 97.85% of you who have until now been unaware that there is a world outside your borders) will appoint a minister for America without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire will be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed.
To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:

1.You should look up �revocation� in the Oxford English Dictionary.

Then look up �aluminium�. Check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it. Generally, you should raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels.
Look up �vocabulary�. Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with
filler noises such as �like� and �you know� is an unacceptable and
inefficient form of communication. Look up �interspersed�
2.There is no such thing as �US English�. We will let Microsoft know on your behalf.
3.You should learn to distinguish the English and Australian accents. It really isn�t that hard.
4.Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as the good guys.
5.You should relearn your original national anthem, God Save The Queen, but only after fully carrying out task 1. We would not want you to get confused and give up half way through.
6.You should stop playing American football. There is only one kind of football. What you refer to as American football is not a very good game. The 2.15% of you who are aware that there is a world outside your borders may have noticed that no one else plays "American� football. You will no longer be allowed to play it, and should instead play proper football. Initially, it would be best if you played with the girls. It is a difficult game. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which is similar to American football, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like nancies). We are hoping to get together at least a US rugby sevens side by 2005.
7.You should declare war on Quebec and France, using nuclear weapons if they give you any merde. The 98.85% of you who were not aware that there is a world outside your borders should count yourselves lucky. The Russians have never been the bad guys. Merde is French for �shyte�.
8.July 4th is no longer a public holiday. November 8th will be a new national holiday, but only in England. It will be called Indecisive Day.
9.All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and it is for your own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean.
10.Please tell us who killed JFK. It�s been driving us crazy.

Thank you for your co-operation.

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

i expect to be declared axis of evil, and to be invaded by monday

*packs suitcase*

Brilliant......It wouldn't be so funny if it didn't make so much sense. But I have to say there are worse things - like calling chips fries and calling crisps chips (:puz.......

Yeah, or smoking a "fag"...

Britain should take control of america again i think it would be better we would improve there army.

Yeah, after all, it worked so well in 1776, and then in 1812, ....

Where can I start here anyways?

what makes any of you think that the party system anywhere puts forth people to lead that are not in the hands of the elites even before a single citizen votes for them?

regarding elections they are all corrupted anyways.

what about polls?

and media trying to shape the vote?

then there is the electoral system itself designed by each party to favour them while they are in power.

then there is lies by parties in power like this one:

Clinton did a good job on the economy?

really? but he didn't do anything? yeah that's right he was a restrained democrat he just rode on the back of the good conditions set up by Reagan,

or how about,

Bush is poor on the economy and he is a war monger?

but didn't the US have strong growth for 10 or more years in a row? wasn't a recession likely due?

didn't Clinton's lax foreign policies after elder Bush's assertiveness cause many American enemies to be emboldened again?

was this just the natural thing for the Bush republicans to do?

there are always two sides to any story I think.

Actually, we only took 13 colonies from you. The other 37 were ...uh.....acquired....from someone else.

I don't live in any one of those 13 so knock yourselves out...........J/K

Actually....on the serious side there is something I'm curious about. In U.S. history classes it's referred to as the Revolutionary War or sometimes as the War for Independence. How is it referred to in the U.K. history classes? Just something I was wondering about.

That is an interesting question...perhaps "The American Revolutionary War"???

'Fog Breathers'

(just dont say something like 'smog breathers' when you talk to somebody from LA)