Intelligent falling will replace gravity theory in schools

Yes indeed, the theory of gravity has been loosing its adherents for years as disillusioned scientists strive for an alternative explanation of the process.

The dissonance experienced by scientists as they try to reconcile the flawed theories of gravity with what they know is their hearts as the truth, has led to many scientists renouncing their profession and seeking enlightenment on lonely mountains instead.

This new theory was immediatly accepted in the scientific community with warm acceptance and schools will introduce the theory of "Intelligent Falling" as soon as possible.

The Theory of Intelligent Falling states that objects fall, not because of the mysterious and unknown force of gravity, but because God pushes them down, and represents a new breakthrough in the understanding of the world around us.

TOPEKA, KS—As the debate over the teaching of evolution in public schools continues, a new controversy over the science curriculum arose Monday in this embattled Midwestern state. Scientists from the Evangelical Center For Faith-Based Reasoning are now asserting that the long-held "theory of gravity" is flawed, and they have responded to it with a new theory of Intelligent Falling.

said Gabriel Burdett, who holds degrees in education, applied Scripture, and physics from Oral Roberts University.

Burdett added: "Gravity—which is taught to our children as a law—is founded on great gaps in understanding. The laws predict the mutual force between all bodies of mass, but they cannot explain that force. Isaac Newton himself said, 'I suspect that my theories may all depend upon a force for which philosophers have searched all of nature in vain.' Of course, he is alluding to a higher power."


[edit on 23-8-2005 by Netchicken]

I saw a thread on here earlyer about the Muslim world being in its own Dark Ages. Someone even mentioned science and general knowledge being suppressed by the religion to keep the people under control.

Now, I'm asking myself, are the people that say that, totaly blind of whats happening around them?

The US Christianity groups are pushing the US itself, the supposed most advanced nation in the world, back to the frigin stoneages, let alone the Dark Ages.

What will they come up with next? Exorsizing and executing disabled people because they are possesed by demons? Witchhunts? Relying purely on prayer to solve medical problems? Calling for math being removed from school teaching because at some point it comes across the number 666?

How far and rediculous will they get with this nonsense??

This has to be a joke, right?? Next they will start teaching that the sun revolves around the earth.

As an early adopter of the "Intelligent Falling," I can assure you that all my falls have been "created" by only the most ingenious "design" (usually a Bordeaux or a Burgundy, but Super Tuscans and the occasional Napa also factor into my need to commune with a "higher power"). Make no mistake, the application of this "understanding" is not dependent on the sublime works of "Him," but can be replicated by the most users.vnet.net..." target="_blank" class="postlink">profane among us. God may have designed the fruit of the vine, but man invented the screw cap, and thus "equality" in falling. Whether the cathedral of the cellar, or the church of the alley, all may find solace in “His” newly found stretch of ground.

Wine Snob Monkeys, not just for setting science back 500 years anymore...

I wonder who these "disilliusioned" scientists may be and how they explain the rotten breadfruit from its branch or the dead leaf losing its abiilty to hold on to its precarious perch.

It's absolutely true as is evidence from this classified NASA photograph which was extracted from a slow motion video of God's hand moving at great speed around the earth. A cleric from the church of holy moly who is employed by NASA remarked that God only requires a single finger to establish gravity, not an entire hand as many believe.





[edit on 23-8-2005 by df1]

I also heard of the religious fundamentalist challenge of the laws of thermodynamics. Their new, Second Law of Intelligent Energy states that "in all energy exchanges, if no energy enters or leaves the system, an unseen all-powerful intelligent force is removing just the right amount of energy to preserve the system's degradation." Some are also calling this divine entropy. Other provided examples are a watchspring-driven watch will run until the potential energy in the spring is removed by an unseen all-powerful intelligent force, and not again until energy is reapplied to the spring to rewind it; or a car that has run out of gas because an unseen all-powerful intelligent force burned it in the car engine will not run again until you refuel the car.

I just can’t tell you how thrilled I am to hear this good news!! All this time, I’ve thought I was just clumsy or that my feet didn’t work right, when the Truth is that God wants me on the ground!

I could never explain transcendental meditation, the flying yogis or David Blaine’s levitation. Now, it’s all clear! God doesn’t want them on the ground!

I know this is just the beginning of the revelation of new laws and that a spontaneous human combustion explanation is just around the corner! I’m betting that has to do with some sort of burning bush!

DEAR LORD PLEASE SAVE US FROM THE EVANGELISTS!

You mean the sun DON'T revolve around the earth?!?!?!

Just joking......

Yeah, Im a Chrisitian and Ill admit...this Intelligent Gravity thing is taking it too far. There is a good explanation for gravity....the space and time one explains it pretty good...why not use that one, it's the most accepted, I think.

Anyways, the Lord works in mysterious ways....maybe Gravity is some unexplainable force that we will never understand and only divine intervention keeps us on the ground

sporty

[edit on 23/8/2005 by SportyMB]

Paise the LORD!

This is great news!!

At last the children will be freed from the satanic bonds of evolutionism. They will be free to study God's world as He intended it.

Science can only take us so far, it still doesn't even understand the speed of light. I read that it changes and is not constant.

But our God is bigger than science, not only does HE understand the speed of light, he even understands the speed of dark, which is much more difficult to measure.

Praise the LORD its about time we bought back the horse and cart as well, when the oil is gone.


[edit on 23-8-2005 by webweevil]

For those of you haven't followed the link you might want to before you ask "is this true?". You might notice that the headline story from the site is Rumsfeld Makes Surprise Visit...

This might have some basis in truth (it was apparently an "in and out" operation), however you have to be a bit suspect.

The ever fantastic The Onion has really hit the nail on the head with this one, as only satire can do sometimes.

The reason some people might think the story is true is because claiming Intelligent Falling is a science is no more or less silly than claiming Intelligent Design is one. Just like ID, IF has no actual theory to back it up it just relies on finding problems with existing scientific theories.

The theories of gravity have all sorts of significant problems (the very fact that there is more than one is a problem), but does that mean we should just abandon trying to crack those problems as a waste of time and say that "God did it"? Most people would say of course not. Exactly the the same argument applies to the theory of evolution, just because it can't currently explain everything about life on this planet should we just throw our hands up and say "ah well, looks like an intelligent designer (ie God) must have done it"? Everyone is free to do this, however to somehow claim that this approach is scientific is laughable.

EDIT shorten title of source

[edit on 24-8-2005 by DontTreadOnMe]

Tell me who was most surprised, his wife or the troops at that location?

edit to shorten source title
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[edit on 24-8-2005 by DontTreadOnMe]

This may sound funny coming from the “onion” link but is very true, In another thread that I started of books to be use to teach ID this topic of gravity will fall under the “The Design Inference” written by William Dembski.



Now since Mr. Bush has given his verbal approval to teaching ID in US schools, has been an array of books already been suggested for the teaching of everything that has to do with science.

Remember that the goal is not to promote “other theories” of origins but to take over science altogether.

I bet is more books to come as the pushing of ID in schools becomes a reality.

www.abovetopsecret.com...

The things we laugh about today become tomorrow's realities.

Never take for granted that the "general public" (who are these guys, anyway?) won't be so stupid as to either advocate for it or sit idly by and watch it happen.

I know it's a joke, a spoof, a goof, whatever...I just don't think it's impossible.

Anyone in Europe willing to take a frightened American in? I fear what will become of my country with these people. 2+2=1 4-5=99039854.432 and a half, George Washington was the first Black president, and iron weighs less then air, anything I got wrong?

They've found evidence that the sun's rays have reached only 6000 lightyears away, so that means that the sun is exactly 6000 years old. Btw... Jesus was burn on the 4000th anniversary of the sun.

I'm sure you guys know that this is a hoax/spoof...yes? Anyways here's an actual ID proponent talking about gravity theory seeing how this is the new anti-ID topic as of late. "Leave evolution alone we'd rather debate gravity" not sure where this comes from or where it's going but ok, to each his own.

The Scientific Status of Intelligent Design:


Seems like these guys are cool with gravity theory as is, maybe i'm missing something




Marge care to elaborate on how this quote, or Dembski's book in general will be used to teach the brilliant new "intelligent falling theory".




Paranoid much? "take over science altogether" ok, if you say so

w0w...

just w0w...

if the scientists say that God is pushing them down, then doesn't this mean that they are saying that He exists???

how can they say He exists without scientific proof???

i am confused

A spoof? I assure that the design of all my falls (not to be confused with all my base) were founded in faith, tried and true... I never cottoned to the heresy of Darwin and Galileo... Equal and opposite my non evolutionized monkey butt. Falling is grace most divine... Intelligently designed by a higher power, devoid of equation or earthly bounds.

Plummeting Monkeys, not just for terminal velocity anymore...