The nerve

I have a side of my family I just don't associate with and haven't seen them for about 20 years. The reason for this is because they're thieves and liars. They'll try to talk you out of anything if they think they can. "Sketchy" doesn't even begin to describe these folks.

For instance, my Dad died about 20 years ago and had a garage full of tools he'd bought over the years. This bunch, ON THE DAY OF THE FUNERAL told my Mom she should just let them have all that because she won't need them anymore. They didn't need them, they would just sell them for whatever they could get. It's what they do and things sometimes just disappear when they're around. My main rule when they were around is just lock everything up. I warned my wife before the funeral, leave your purse in the car and lock it. I saw 2 of them walk past the car a couple of times, looking in and trying the handle. I bluntly told them "It's locked, you can't steal anything".

Needless to say, we don't get along, so imagine my surprise when at about 7:30 last night I get a call from one of them. I have no idea how he got my number.

I'm instantly on guard and when he started asking "how ya doin' haven't seen you in a long time" I knew something was up. I just told him "I'm fine, what do you want because I know you're not calling just to see how I'm doing". He starts giving me this sob story about how he's behind on his car and house payments, going to lose everything and needs money. He'd heard through the family grapevine that I'm doing alright, had a good retirement account and wondered how much I could pull out at one time. I flat out told him "No, I'm not doing that". The sob story continues and goes on to tell me his wife is sick and medical bills have taken all their money.

She's not - I checked.

I'm thinking he's going to hit me up for a couple of thousand, but he's thinking big. He says $25,000 will give him some breathing room and he'll pay me back "as soon as I can". I told him "You can't pay your bills now, much less have enough to pay me back". Then he starts in on "We're family, we're supposed to help each other blahblahblah ". I just told him "No, not happening, find someone else to scam" and hung up.

Even though they all know how these people are, an hour later I hear from my Mom that the grapevine now says I'm a greedy, money grubbing tight ass that won't help family.

smh.

Have you asked him if is willing to donate eleventeen pints of blood and or plasma.

Maybe have someone give him a bonified g-spot semen donation from a thick-fingered guy named Butch?

Just a thought. The nerve indeed.

Stick to your guns David.

Enjoy your Thanksgiving with your fam. Not him though.

a reply to: DAVID64

Your only mistake is not being the wrong number.

Next time when someone you know calls but should not have the number, be a government safe house that has codes to get past you. Push them for how they got the number and insist they don't call again or they will get a visit from some unnamed government agency along with all phone privileges being removed for life.

And ask them to verify that their name is their name. Go ahead and say their name after some computer like clicking. That usually shakes them up.

a reply to: DAVID64

Hehe I tell people to call 211. Honestly though money means zero to me and I helped this person I know who lost a lot in a fire and helped them get an RV to stay in and oh wow. The gossip in my family over that was INSANE. I helped with a down-payment for a used RV for someone who had to rebuild from scratch and was really down on their luck and my family acted like I was Richie Rich or Oprah or something. Its not their money, it's mine and they don't decide how I spend it. Yeah a lot of them got cut out of my life totally because of that incident. Nothing I dislike more than fake Christians.

a reply to: DAVID64

I had about the same happen to me, but from a old flame that I rarely hear from these days. She called last week and we had a long, hour-long decent conversation about the death of her mother and my friend's handling of the pretty healthy estate. Okay. That was that. Just a refreshing of our relationship, nothing implied or suggested.

Three hours later she calls again and shortly asked me to loan her $3500 because of various problems of cash flow. I had little guilt in saying "no," without hesitation. The first call had been a prep call to set me up, and the second was the bite call that I repelled.

I hate to lose her as a friend, and she sorta is still that, but one that I won't answer any more calls from. Oh, I forgot to mention that about ten years ago she got $500 out of me that I never saw a nickel of come back. Ha!

a reply to: DAVID64

This story sounds all too familiar. My condolences you've got a branch of them in your family too.

Even though they all know how these people are, an hour later I hear from my Mom that the grapevine now says I'm a greedy, money grubbing tight ass that won't help family.

Let them think that from now on. At least they won't be calling you.

a reply to: DAVID64

Yeah, I have family that would "borrow" something from me..
Eventually I would just say,,, you know the word borrow implies you'll give it back right?

I had to finally cut them off.
They of course act all butt hurt..🤣

There are just people in the world that could have a hundred dollars or a million dollars and would still live in the hole.

originally posted by: DAVID64
Even though they all know how these people are, an hour later I hear from my Mom that the grapevine now says I'm a greedy, money grubbing tight ass that won't help family.

You can't choose your family but you can disown them.

Worked for me. No longer am I a source to childish materialistic Narcissists expecting to bat their moans and gripes in my direction to have them absorbed and exchanged for shiny stuff.

Good luck.

a reply to: DAVID64

That means your mom will help them now, and won't tell you about it.

a reply to: CosmicFocus

Yeah, the thing about money is, if one decides to help, is to simply gift it without expectation of repayment. When one expects repayment, then all sorts of psychological factors gear up in the recipient, many of which are designed to justify to them why they don't "really" have to pay it back.

I've helped people like that a couple of times; the realization up front that one won't be repaid makes the decision to do so subject to more thought (in my experience).

Cheers

You've had an unpleasant experience that I can empathize with friend.
It's a hard choice to make but I would offer that you did as I would have done. Have done.
I mean, you don't really help someone by giving them money when they're like that, they're a fraud...many of us I suspect know the type..
Grifters shouldn't be countenanced, and if I can't afford never see the money again I will not "loan" it to someone.
Still, it chafes doesn't it.
We expect better of people, especially family.

Good health, Peace, to you and yours.