The Blonsky Device, A Spinning Machine Invented To Fling Babies Out Of Pregnant People

allthatsinteresting.com...
Ran across this article this morning and had to put it up for ATS.
This is wild..

The Blonsky device promised to revolutionize childbirth with the power of centrifugal force.

How did the Blonsky device work? The expectant mother would lie down on a circular table. To prevent harm, doctors would strap the woman to the device.

“The apparatus is provided with several straps to assure the safe, steady and comfortable positioning of the woman on the stretcher,” the eight-page patent application reported. These included a neck strap, body straps, and thigh straps.

Then the table would begin rotating at a high speed.

I was wondering if they had someone who catches the flying baby..

inventors explained, “the operator gradually speeds up the machine to the predetermined force which is expected to produce the birth of the child, and if such force does not accomplish this, he does not exceed it, unless the physician decides to go to the higher gs.”

The Blonsky device, of course, came with critical safety features. In addition to the straps holding down the woman, the spinning table featured a net meant to snatch up the newborn baby

What a sight that would have been.

The device would stop immediately after the “pocket-shaped reception net made of strong, elastic material” caught the infant.

The device was patented in 1965 but no evidence it was ever used.

Weird weird stuff. I got a kick out of this. Thought you all might too.

Patented in 1965 It conjures up an image in my mind of a woman who now has scrambled eggs for brains.

I don't even need to look up the patent to know it was submitted by a man; a man short on critical thinking.

a reply to: AOx6179

Christ, the images coming into my head early morning 🤣👍🏽 Spin Launch that baby!
youtu.be...

a reply to: AOx6179
Sounds like a great way to produce a new generation of super pilots/astronauts..
Start them young on a high G regime,followed by a very short first flight across the room.

Did anyone think about the cord though?

It would be like that game kids play where they stand in a circle and jump or duck the spinning rope,but with a baby attached.

Hospitals and insurance companies make literally billions every year off of C=sections, epidurals, other drugs and more off of the complications that they create themselves in the process they put women through going into labor. It’s a cash cow. So unfortunately, this device was destined to be hidden away. Possibility that it might mitigate a ton of their own created risk was too high.

How will it fling a baby out of a penis?

We now are told, and it is why you used the term pregnant people, that men can have babies. Men do have babies and we are not allowed to say otherwise without extreme censure.

We are actually sometimes severely punished if we say men can't have babies in public circles, fired, doxed, ridiculed.

So how are babies supposed to be flung out of a penis?

For some reason I frigging laughed out loud reading this.

This is an artist rendering of the kid coming out.

a reply to: AOx6179

OMG it's a real life baby cannon! HAHAHAHAHA! Thanks for the laugh! This is utter garbage, and completely unsafe XD.. All it would do is send the baby flying out a (now broken window) after the woman pushed it out of her.. My god let a woman give birth in peace people..

Quick question though, is/was that the same guy who thinks men can get pregnant(naturally w/o a womb, harvested from some poor child that got manipulated into a transgender surgery: Because a developed womens wombs are incompatible with male transplant techiques and their only other options is baby pig wombs(used because they mature faster) or lab created ones) and have periods? If so he seriously needs an STD screening and a Brain Scan.

Interestingly enough I think I heard about this years ago though.

originally posted by: Quauhtli
Hospitals and insurance companies make literally billions every year off of C=sections, epidurals, other drugs and more off of the complications that they create themselves in the process they put women through going into labor. It’s a cash cow. So unfortunately, this device was destined to be hidden away. Possibility that it might mitigate a ton of their own created risk was too high.

I take it you've never given birth yourself?

Those epidurals and C-sections are necessary. The C-section is done when there's a medical emergency with the baby OR (as in my case) when the woman's pelvis is too narrow for the baby's head to fit through. If this happens and the woman goes into labor, the baby's head gets stuck in the birth canal and you have the horrific choice of what to do next (no, you can't push it back. You have to either kill the baby or allow both to die.) I'll spare you the details but it's gut-wrenching.

Epidurals are because the perineum does tear and stretch during a normal labor and the docs will either cut the area (and stitch it back up) to make the birth easier or (If it was just stretched) use the epidural to make the whole exit procedure much less painful.

And labor can be very painful for most women (and lasts for hours or, in my case, for more than a day.) Drugs ease the process. I think that most women who've gone through labor and delivery will tell you that the choice to have drugs (not forced on the woman) was something that really helped.