Home Again

Sometimes it's hard to go home when you've deviated far from the path that you set out on.

I came to ATS looking for answers related to a personal experience I was never able to reconcile. I was a metaphysical seeker, paranormal hunter, a high-strangeness weaver.

I am still all these things. I am a fighter of demons, both internal and external.

For reasons I won't get into, I was forced to take a step back from my vantage and see a wider picture.

I came here originally and put a lot of thought and effort into my threads back in the day. They weren't all 'page-turners' exactly, but I'm proud of some of the unique content I've brought to ATS. If anything, I've always tried to bring something of a little different flavor with each new OP.

To be blunt, the site has seen many changes in tone in the last 10 years, and so have I.

In 2019 I realized I was running full speed in a wrong direction. I didn't like where my life was going, and I noticed my posting behavior became something I wasn't proud of anymore. No longer was I doing the research, thought exercises, and material gathering needed to produce quality threads/ posts.

Instead, I found all I had to offer was the occasional dumb joke, snippy insult, or emotional outburst.

I took several months away from the site to be a reader again. I read as a guest, ignoring the need for usernames and avatars. I absorbed the information in the posts, instead of focusing on the reputation behind the poster or their particular slant. I tell you it was very refreshing!

My admiration and respect for the contributors had been greatly renewed, my memory of why I originally joined ATS had been restored, and I felt the increasing urge to participate and learn once again, even if from the sidelines.

While I don't think I'll soon be returning to my original thread style, I will continue to show my support for ATS as a reader. As much as I'd like to present some of the more detailed and in-depth threads like I used to, I continuously find the time in the day running shorter, my focus...more fleeting, and my drowsiness is ever-present

But I am here, I am home again. It's great to be back in my community. I am reading your posts and threads daily. Have a few stars and flags on me, friends.

See. you. in. the. threads!

a reply to: NarcolepticBuddha

You'll have to crash on the couch, your room is now the foosball stadium.



Welcome back.

Your OP's would demonstrate a well rounded set of interests. Interest seems to shift here with the phases of the moon..

The whole world has felt a ferocious convulsion and lots of people are reeling. Hope it passes
....sooner than later.
I have always been fond of your posts

originally posted by: Ksihkehe
a reply to: NarcolepticBuddha

your room is now the foosball stadium.

I've slept in stranger places bro!

originally posted by: Plotus

I have always been fond of your posts

Thank you, Plotus.

Fun fact: I often see your posts just sitting there ignored and it displeases me. If you ever notice a post of yours with a solitary star, now you know where it came from

a reply to: NarcolepticBuddha
The problem you described is a problem every member had or will have too.

a reply to: NarcolepticBuddha

In 2019 I realized I was running full speed in a wrong direction. I didn't like where my life was going, and I noticed my posting behavior became something I wasn't proud of anymore. No longer was I doing the research, thought exercises, and material gathering needed to produce quality threads/ posts.

Same here, in fact this is my first post in probably over a year. At some point it becomes tiresome, all the research, all the well thought out arguments. Only for others to lie and ignore and twist your words. There are some things that I know I am right about. So the need for debate is not there anymore.
At this point arguing is unnecessary. Because you know that the arguments will never change, you will just be left yelling into the wind.

a reply to: NarcolepticBuddha

Good to hear from you again NB.

Looking forward to you gracing the boards once more.

Kind regards,

Bally

Narcoleptic it is so good to see you back again here mate.

As you already know I am one of those members that you interacted with but am no longer allowed to talk about because of T and Cs. (Remember the Pig Poo thread "wink"

I only came on here today to welcome you back and hope that many old timers can come back to ATS to Make This Place great again (MTPGA) as the political knob heads are back for a couple of months and the moderation staff will be shortly be overwhelmed in the USA...

Should have more European staff in my opinion...

Shame on ATS if this post is banned but WE KNOW WELL that political posts bring the cash in and mine didn't.

Hugs n snot

Lags

a reply to: NarcolepticBuddha

Welcome back..

Peace

a reply to: NarcolepticBuddha

I missed you when you were gone!

I have enjoyed your posts over the years and your sense of humor.

So welcome back.

Haven't seen ya for a while!

Welcome back!

Like the grains of sand through an hour glass, so too are the days of our lives.

...or sumthin' like that. S&F

Glad your back NB!
Look forward to your posts.

originally posted by: NarcolepticBuddha
. No longer was I doing the research, thought exercises, and material gathering needed to produce quality threads/ posts.

Instead, I found all I had to offer was the occasional dumb joke, snippy insult, or emotional outburst.

Same here nb.
Same here.
Welcome back, you've already inspired me to become better

a reply to: NarcolepticBuddha

Hey man! I was thinking about ya the other day. I was worried something bad had happened to ya.

Welcome back!

a reply to: NarcolepticBuddha

Good to see you back man.

Thanks for sharing that with us as well... And since you did, I will as well.

Even before COVID I had learned some horrible news. It compounded with other things happening at the time, and it was truly life altering. I was keeping my head high, but I was just surviving and complacent. That is no way to live, that is just existing.

Then COVID happened and I lost my job, and really horrible things just kept going on in quick succession. Luckily I had at least decided to be productive, get more active, and sober up for the most part so I could have my whits about me. Once it all hit a point, the weirdest thing happened. I desensitized to a degree in a good way. I started almost laughing when bad things happened and almost expected it. I just tried at things with no expectations and more importantly no fear. I start a better job soon.... I very well may be buying a house out in the boonies with a small farm.

I've decided things are going to do what they're going to do. I cannot change that, nor can I change anyone. The only thing I can do is try to build the environment around me to be what I envision. To make my immediate space to my liking. That's not to say I'll hide from the world or put blinders on as to what is happening, but I am saying I'll be part of it on my terms.

I'm almost free now. It's a beautiful thing. I'm not a big believer everything happens for a reason, because I certainly think we all have different tests, and some don't get it to the same degree... But I do think whatever does happen doesn't have to be in vein, that's where we decide to take some control or give up.