Did Hoda Kotb sexually assault Al Roker?

I rarely watch NBC. It was on this morning and I wanted to watch some updates on hurricane Dorian.

Hoda Kotb must have been away for a while. They were making a fuss about her being back and then this happened.

She turns to Al and says "your face!!!" and grabs his cheeks and then plants a kiss on him. He recoils and starts talking. You
can tell instantly, he did not want or enjoy it at all.

The first thing that I thought of was Matt Lauer (and keep in mind I can't stand Matt Lauer). If Matt Lauer grabbed Hoda like that
and planted a kiss on her, people would lose their minds. They really would. It just made me think of the double standard
in our society. I am a women, but I truly don't think it is OK, or right that it is OK for a women to get away with this behavior
and not a man. Everyone should have their own space and not be violated.

I think it goes much deeper. I know many many men that have been sexually assaulted, as a child or teenager. (surprisingly a lot by women) This is not
something that is talked about a lot. I actually think they might get assaulted more than girls/women. Our first peek into it was with all
the teachers that have made headlines. Then we heard about the priests. etc.

He can join "me too" now.

No link, so we cant see it..I think a lot of this stuff/claims are overblown. I'm not talking about Weinstein kinda stuff.

a reply to: JAGStorm


Al is one of the nicest and most genuine people in the news industry...Huda is one of the most obnoxious and annoying.

I'm sure Al will let it go...but, YES, he was, technically, sexually assaulted.

a reply to: JAGStorm

She is nasty, cant believe they keep that drunk on the today show. Should have kept her off the show when they canned her the first time. Ofcourse she is a woman, they can get away with it.

a reply to: JAGStorm

I don't know that it could be considered sexual assault per se... but it is an opportunity to focus on the right of everyone to be secure in their person. That no one has the "right" to do anything to anyone for any reason without their knowledge and consent. Which is what is really important here.

The nature of the "assault" -- whether an unwanted kiss or brutal rape -- is a matter of degree (for want of a better word), and would/should/could inform any specific criminal charges and/or sentencing. For example, I doubt Al was ever in fear for his physical safety; therefore any criminal charges/sentencing should reflect that. Hoda's actions do not rise to the level of brutality or violence. But she still violated his person. Let the punishment fit the crime.

But the fundamental principle and right in question is that everyone is the master of their own person, and no one has the right to violate our persons no matter how benign one thinks it is.

a reply to: JAGStorm

Sexual? Not really. It's not like she grabbed his dick or anything. Now if she started flogging his weasel right there, yes it would have been.

a reply to: Skid Mark

haven.gwu.edu...

forced kissing

Again, I ask, If Matt Lauer, or if Biden grabbed someone by the cheeks and kissed them... Or Trump.

Or Obama, if Obama grabbed Melania by the cheeks and planted one on her, you're telling me that wouldn't be assault.
Well according to the law it is... Like IAMTAT said, Al will not do anything about it, but if the roles were reversed.....boy oh boy..

originally posted by: Skid Mark
a reply to: JAGStorm

Sexual? Not really. It's not like she grabbed his dick or anything. Now if she started flogging his weasel right there, yes it would have been.

hence the double standard.
Had their roles been reversed he could be facing a lot more than a fine.
Hell, these days its a crime to point fingers at people the wrong way.

a reply to: JAGStorm

Men get accused "and crucified" for just making a pass at a woman.
Al would have been aggressively pursued had he done this to Hoda.

The fact is that women "feminists" don't want equal treatment today, they want special treatment and special rules.

a reply to: JAGStorm

This is up to Al. Honestly we don't know what goes on behind the scenes. It's possible they are friends for a long time and they may horse around.

Hoda really needs to worry about is whether or not his wife is mad or not. She may not want other women kissing him.

I think that this sort of thing is very contextual and personal and should be left up to the person being groped, touched, kissed or what have you. If they do not feel comfortable then they should be supported by management and a resolution needs to occur to the address the issue. Which should be an apology, docking of pay or firing. Up to the person being violated. After an investigation into the incident of course.

a reply to: JAGStorm

Again, I ask, If Matt Lauer, or if Biden grabbed someone by the cheeks and kissed them... Or Trump.

Or Obama, if Obama grabbed Melania by the cheeks and planted one on her, you're telling me that wouldn't be assault. Well according to the law it is... Like IAMTAT said, Al will not do anything about it, but if the roles were reversed.....boy oh boy..

So is this OP just "whataboutism"? Is that all that matters?

Or is it more important to establish one standard based upon fair and equitable principles and rights that apply to all?

I don't want double standards. Hence my comment that you have chosen not to address. I want one standard for all. What do you want?

This is a sincere question.

originally posted by: JAGStorm
a reply to: Skid Mark

haven.gwu.edu...

forced kissing

Again, I ask, If Matt Lauer, or if Biden grabbed someone by the cheeks and kissed them... Or Trump.

Or Obama, if Obama grabbed Melania by the cheeks and planted one on her, you're telling me that wouldn't be assault.
Well according to the law it is... Like IAMTAT said, Al will not do anything about it, but if the roles were reversed.....boy oh boy..

Inappropriate yes, sexual assault..not to me!

Like I said, much of this stuff is overblown.

a reply to: Boadicea

To me it's about

Or is it more important to establish one standard based upon fair and equitable principles and rights that apply to all?

I don't want double standards either. We all know there is a double standard, and it is very bad. Although I am a women, I have a son and husband and father. I understand they have to unfairly deal with this double standard.

Hollywood seems to take it to the extreme, but I think for the most part we all accept it to a degree. I think for most men this is a very confusing topic.
Even some on here do not understand that a kiss is indeed assault. Hoda and Al are co-workers, there shouldn't be any kissing at all. My guess is that if Al did make a fuss about it, there would be men calling him names, and saying no harm was meant by it.

originally posted by: Bluntone22
a reply to: JAGStorm

Men get accused "and crucified" for just making a pass at a woman.
Al would have been aggressively pursued had he done this to Hoda.

The fact is that women "feminists" don't want equal treatment today, they want special treatment and special rules.

You hit the nail on the head.. You either want equality or you don't... It's pretty sad if you ask me..

a reply to: Boadicea

I think one of the biggest problems is a lack of standards or at least equal standards.
That is something that bothers me anyway.

Especially so when dealing with men and women.
There are two sets of rules.

originally posted by: Bluntone22
a reply to: Boadicea

I think one of the biggest problems is a lack of standards or at least equal standards.

I would say it is THEE problem. I would also say it's deliberate... divide-and-conquer. What's easier to divide the masses and keep us fighting among ourselves than to hold one group of people to one standard and another group of people to another standard? If it's wrong for one, then it's wrong for all. If it's okay for one, then it's okay for everyone.

Hence my original comment which pointed out the principles and rights involved, rather than focusing on one group of people over an another.

Especially so when dealing with men and women.
There are two sets of rules.

I certainly wouldn't say "especially." In this case it's men vs women, but it's equally applicable to other groups -- race, religion, political party, etc. In fact, pretty much any time one group of people is given more or greater "rights" than another group for no other reason than because "we like these people more."

All laws should apply equally to all adults. If there is an imbalance or any discrepancy, then we need to address the imbalance or discrepancy without regard to identity politics.

I would say the exception would be laws that protect the weakest and most vulnerable through no fault of their own; i.e., children, the elderly, the mentally and physically impaired, and so on.

a reply to: JAGStorm

I don't want double standards either. We all know there is a double standard, and it is very bad. Although I am a women, I have a son and husband and father. I understand they have to unfairly deal with this double standard.

Exactly! I don't want my husband or son or brothers or nephews to have to deal with these double standards either -- especially when every word and gesture by a man is now subject to scrutiny and interpretation by those who embrace those double standards. (My father's long passed, but I wouldn't want it for him either).

And that's why we must focus on the general principles and rights involved in order to change the equation and correct the problem. Not the "type" or "class" of people involved. That only further and promotes the identity politics as people are encouraged to pick sides and fight among themselves.

Divide-and-conquer.

A bit of blow back from the #metoo movement.

My job was hard enough before the birth of that little hash tag, but the insanity that has raised its head since that time is mind blowing.

Some of the discussions that I have with young men and women about what is appropriate in a relationship, both casual and intimate, proves to me that they are confused, and too many are using social media as their primer. Since the wind on social media changes at the whim of the latest tweet, there is good reason for their confusion.

Most people are allowing themselves to be instructed on what to think, what to say, how to dress, etc., based on the mind set of the latest viral tweet. Independent and critical thinking has gone the way of cursive writing, their response is based what the latest thing that is "K".

When a casual kiss, done openly, in a display of happiness and genuine affection, is thrown into the category of sexual abuse, we are walking down the path of restriction of touch under all circumstances. Something that our society does not need at this time. Failure to thrive in infants occurs when there has been emotional deprivation. Parental withdrawal, rejection, or hostility can cause severe mental impairment, and death for a child. People thrive from touch as a display of genuine love and affection.

The problem we have as a society is over kill. We never realize when enough is enough, until we build it into too much.

a reply to: NightSkyeB4Dawn

When a casual kiss, done openly, in a display of happiness and genuine affection, is thrown into the category of sexual abuse, we are walking down the path of restriction of touch under all circumstances. Something that our society does not need at this time. Failure to thrive in infants occurs when there has been emotional deprivation. Parental withdrawal, rejection, or hostility can cause severe mental impairment, and death for a child. People thrive from touch as a display of genuine love and affection.

Are you really comparing an unwanted kiss from a coworker akin to cuddling with a baby?
Not even close!

I have always been a person that loves my bubble and personal space. I would not want any coworker to kiss me, ever.
I am also probably one of the most lovey dovey moms a person can have. If you are not able to separate the two, then you are part of the problem.

a reply to: JAGStorm

Are you really comparing an unwanted kiss from a coworker akin to cuddling with a baby? Not even close!

No, and I don't put it in the category of sexual abuse either, but someone will.

If you require your space, then I am sure it is something that you have made clear enough, and I doubt very seriously that any of your co-workers would cross that line. If the problem of co-workers invading your space became an issue I am sure you have means to address that issue.

I know people on both sides of the isle and down the middle. Some people like outward displays of affection, some don't want to be touched. Mutual respect usually makes it a non-issue. Demands that all touching be made a criminal offense is where I see this going, and it can create its own set of problems within the human psyche.

Overkill is the factor that I fear.