It's all new to me.

Ahoy (I'm from a land of 10000 lakes, so I've used this fun, nautical greeting my whole life for entertainment purposes) Here goes: I'm 40, male, everyone in my family exept my grandfather has very red hair. Mine was clear when it grew in. As soon as I attended school it darkened to light brown. From the first day I can remember being immediately targeted by bullies, even mistreated by my teachers. Suffice to say, I did not show interest in school until 7th grade (1991) When asked for the first time as a child what i wanted to be I answered "an Artist" without hesitation. And I am, because I knew it. I know things. Back to the hair, by age 21 it was blond. By age 28 it returned to its original lack of color. 7th grade I became withdrawn socially and I figured out I had a photographic memory, subsequently causing my grades to go from average to straight A's. Never lived anywhere for longer than 3 years, so as the eternal new kid I endured the sadistic and violent treatment from classmates that seems to be a theme the world over. Mother Irish/Scottish descent, father of German descent but earlier generations hailed from Oslo, Norway. "It's all new to me" means precisely that. Age 31 I became deathly ill. After lots of pain and procedures it was found that I have Factor V Leiden, homozygous variety with a tendency for frequent life threatening events, and, depending on who says, a nonexistent blood type. The moment I was told what I had I felt like I was uploaded with lifetimes of information. I never knew what to do with it until 5 months ago. My Daughter, 13 years old, asked if I knew my blood type and if I was hetero or homozygous in diagnosis. I didn't know these things and set out to discover them for her sake. She was born with visible red hair and pure blue eyes even more striking then my own; and they appear perfectly hazel when viewed from the side in light. Inherited from her mother of English decent who has hazel eyes. Since childhood people have noticed my eyes. I can convey complete emotionlessness, or murderous anger or absolutely nothing at all. As a child I would not look at my eyes in a mirror because it scared me. I don't know why. My girlfriend says sometimes, when speaking of something I'm passionate about they take on an effect that scares her. I don't know why. People mostly avoid me because as someone who was beaten by low brow country kids my whole life I've learned to transmit body language that says "stay away." Being athletic and active I was drawn to sports, but always failed and quit due to the way kids can be so mean to each other. In 8th grade I discovered martial arts and became a student for life. Learning to have compassion for my oponent, I've never tried to or needed to use any of the devastating techniques I learned. And, save for a few minor skirmishes ( used to go to bars before FVL, absolutely dont drink now because of the medication) as an adult I've never harmed or killed any humans, even when given the chance to do so. I am capable of absolute anger in nuclear proportions. But I feel sorry for most humans. I see the womb they have built to live in and know they are governed by an inner child. I can make these assumptions in seconds. I can feel the mental burdens of those around me. I abhor those who physically dicipline their children and if I witness it, I can feel it. Not just the mere pain, but the fear and confusion felt when someone that allegedly " loves" them commits this atrocity. I can see the truth instantly. I know you are a liar, it causes an edgy aura that is not welcoming like that of an individual without vicious intent..theirs is round edged and harmonious with the natural fields around it. Yes, I see them. Remember, it's all new to me, but explains how I've felt since I can first remember, but due to social engineering and submitting to peer pressure I ignored these things my whole life until recently. I can see things you would need a microscope for, but have astigmatism and bad vision. From childhood I consumed any information on the paranormal, Bermuda triangle, atlantis, ghosts and even the Christian religion ( I was raised in a strict church that was called The Worldwide Church of God, anyone else?) I have dissected their Christian belief system countless times. I enjoy making self righteous church people contradict themselves several times before I dismantle their theory without even a bible in my hand. I can read super fast, my trick, you say? I just look at the whole page at once and can see everything. This ability has not achieved me anything except astonishing grades in public schooling ( bleh! Curriculum is one of the most evil words in any language) I suppose that can be all for now. As I mentioned earlier, I've only been imbued by this feeling of knowing everything five months ago..preceded by a lifetime of resisting it. Most of the people I work with dislike me of which I do not care. As far as love, I don't think I can feel it. No relationships have ever lasted, all at my fault of course. I'm not rich, in fact according to common standards Im in poverty. I didn't go to college due to dabling in homemade explosives during Clinton administration, I was charged as an adult at 17, thereby losing the scholarship granted to me in 11th grade. So I've just been an idiot lazy typical American male going from job to job. I don't care for anything offered by the world, I feel sorry for alot of humans because I can feel their angst, their struggle. Everything having to do with their lies of how the universe works and geology / physics are my favorite subjects because they are all so wrong I relish secretly enjoying watching those wheels turn when disgussed with educated know it all arrogant humans, except in the case of childrens education. I can see it in their minds dotting mental corridors like litter after a concert. I know everything is fake. I feel like i can see back into the past when i touch antiques. Psychics are immediately overwhelmed by my energy, so ive never had a reading that i trust. My new hobby is gematria, and i really dont care about the abbreviated agencies watching, listening. I don't believe anything that most humans fervently believe in like, for instance: alleged lunar explorations, the shape of this plane of existence and everything else completely rooted in lies contrived to confuse and lead the weak, impressionable mental capacities of the normal human. There's that arrogance. For that I apologize, as I am (mostly) human I do have that typical arrogance. Allright, you probably x ed out of this long ago, and it exists just to occupy and entertain the agents. Remember, it's all new to me and definitely respond. I do enjoy the opinions of (other?) Humans.. Ladies and Gentlemen, there you have it.

that was some entrance.

a reply to: Imdifferent9er

You do realize there are millions of people on the Internet.

Wall of text overload.

ETA But welcome nonetheless!

Woah, wall of text. You might want to break up your posts into paragraphs.

Welcome to the site.

a reply to: Imdifferent9er

If I listen to you in person saying all that I'd say you are drinking too much coffee.

a reply to: Imdifferent9er

Flagged. (flags are good here) Friend added. You sound like someone who is definitely worth knowing. I agree and empathize with about 80% of what you said. Minus the specific medical condition, the psychic powers and the lack of love.

But we seem to view the world and the people in it much the same. I look upon humanity with both extensive pity and intense frustration. Was bullied a lot for being different on the inside. Moved every 1-3 years until age 26. I have a very strong sense of empathy, and while I cant see auras, i am deeply troubled by the parent-child relationships I see, and especially disturbed by abuse of women, children, developmentally disabled, or animals, or anyone who cannot adequately defend themselves. Theres been times ive gotten dizzy and almost passed out.

I haven't blacked out with anger for a very long time, ever since I went ape# on a bully when I was like 12, because I learned/forced myself to control my emotions a little better. But before that, I used to have a hard time controlling my emotions. I still cry a lot (compared to most men anyway), but my anger is under control.

Gematria is not really my thing but I do respect it, do not fully understand it enough to dismiss it outright, and I do adore "fun with numbers" including numerology.

I have to ask though... are you a Flat Earther? No biggie if you are. No judging here. It would just be another somewhat major point upon which our respective philosophies diverge... I believe they have lied to us plenty, I just dont believe the "answer" is Flat Earth. Id be more willing to believe Hollow Earth before I would believe Flat Earth.



Be prepared for complaints about the lack of paragraphical spacing within your opening post/OP. I can read it with no real problems, but I can also read and write (with both hands with a little practice) upside down and/or backwards with nearly just as much ease as I can read regularly.

Maybe if I practiced more, I could read whole pages like you, but, maybe not...cause i think your photographic memory came into play there, and no anount of practice that I know of will give me a photographic memory.

Sounds like youve got a daughter who is interested in things that matter, so that's gotta make you feel proud. I dont know how debilitating your condition is, but, either way, hang in there, buddy. I hope it isn't too much trouble for you.

This is all new for all of us...

We are like a species with amnesia.... or a species just waking up from a nightmare and are still trying to gather our bearings and rub the sleep out of our eyes and letting our foggy vision clear... Its just taking like, 300+ years to complete this waking up process...and even once we fully awaken, I feel we may still have some amnesia to contend with.

So we are like a person with amnesia waking up from a bad dream. Just absolutely lost, not knowing what is real or what is just a lingering remnant from the dream you just had. A process that normally takes about 5 seconds on an individual level, takes closer to 500 years on a civilizational level.


Anyways, welcome to ATS bro!

a reply to: Imdifferent9er

Hello, and welcome to ATS!

Also cringe at awful parenting. Like we see often is stores and such, when hurried parents use that: "OK, I'm leaving now" line on their dawdling kids.

Recently here on ATS: a couple of posters got angry with me for NOT agreeing with them all, that all children should be raised in fear. Really.

Recommend you be wary of the FE threads here, as they are rife with middle-school, juvenile, know-it-all-know-nothing, bullies-in-training.

A sensitive persons is wise to grow a thick skin, and to not match their insults.

A shout-out to Enigmato, for the nice greeting they gave you.

a reply to: Nothin

Thank you. I shall keep that in mind.

a reply to: dfnj2015

Indeed i do. I am just one of them. I've joined to interact with like minded individuals on a positive basis. And to give the agents something else to occupy themselves with. Gotta suck being cooped up with face buried in a screen. I'm an uneducated idiot. I do construction. But I have a photographic memory, can read extremely fast and I only contemplate about 2500-3000 separate things per second. What I'm trying to say is I'm not in mensa, so my composition style has not been cultivated by an over educated, under paid know it all professor at an overpriced, alleged "school of higher learning."

a reply to: bob77

Thanks 77. Figured I would be honest. I joined to interact with like minded individuals on a positive basis.

a reply to: LightSpeedDriver

Thanks, Light. I'm not formerly educated; I'm currently idiot. But I can feel things. Everything. If I was hired at Cerne, within 3 months I would be on the top design team.